ONLY WAR: TO THE LAST

[Artorias]

Spoiler

From Warhammer to breast sizes

>.>

 

[Vay]

I am P. PANCAKE D=<

 

[Artorias]

I love pancakes! I feel like we aren't talking about the food, but pancakes are pancakes.

 

[Hydronine]

She's saying she's flat as a board. Which is fine, that would actually put you at AA, Vay. Anyways, CAN WE TALK ABOUT IMPERIAL GUARD STUFF, PLEASE. This is something I lack knowledge on since I usually roll with Chaos. The more talky talky, the better I'll be at making a cohesive post that makes sense and goes along with the main idea of the RP and not clash with the ideals of the faction and send me running to my friend asking why we're being thrown into the treads of a bane blade and what is going on and why don't we have any metal boxes? [/endrant]

So. Please. Can we redirect to the point of this RP, so those of us who are a little newer can understand slightly better?

 

[Vay]

What do you need to know?

 

[Hydronine]

I feel I am lacking in a hell of a lot of knowledge. I am trying to make up for it with talks with my friend's boyfriend, and he actually sat down with me and helped me figure out quite a bit about this RP, given the fact that I am so unfamiliar with Imperial Guard. I know of it and he tells me stories about Commissar Cane and a few others, and explains the differences between the Imperial Guard and Space Marines as a whole, but I still feel like my knowledge could be improved.

 

[Vay]

The imperial guard, the hammer of the emperor.

Let me tell you about the life of a guardsman. It sucks.

You are a normal human in armor that may as well be cardboard with a gun that may as well be a flashlight going up against the worst the galaxy has to offer. They say the imperium only has a surplus of one resource, lives, and commanders spend them like water.

"When in doubt, throw more men at it."

Think of the worst example of a western front ww1 or even dark ages general. After personal glory and not caring who dies to get them it. He is your commander.

You gun is worth more to the army than your life is. If you lose it on the field you get executed. You fail to maintain your equipment you get executed. You flinch in the face of the 12 foot mass of teeth and death charging you or the khorn bezerker tearing through your mates you're executed for cowardice...

In the imperial guard you are worse than the dirt you are destined you end up face down in.

Your outlook to all this depends wildly depending on where you're from... drop troops are not my forte though...

 

[Hydronine]

Wow. Ok, friend's explanation nailed it and I actually knew of that stuff. Whoot. So I have a remedial grasp on it, enough that my participation will not hinder the progress of the RP, I hope.

 

[Kadaeux]

Um...

I don't know where you guys are, or if you understand how cup sizes work. It's AA, A, B, C, D, DD, DDD (Sometimes) after that everything varies to manufacturers, and I'd suppose that's just from the US, unsure of how it is elsewhere.

Also, friend has size DD, while I envy them and they are perfect looking- I don't want them. Too big for my frame, most likely. <.< the way breasts look on a body also are decided by the frame of the body. Size C on a girl who wears a size 2 in pants probably is gonna look HUGE. Meanwhile, a woman who might have a bit of weight may how those same size c and they look tiny. Comparatively.

NOW, back to the matter at hand. I want to hear of plans and fun stuffs from Grumpy!

E, F and G sizes I have seen before. Generally from what i've seen they seem to be made for severely overweight women.

And yes, the size of the woman definitely plays a part, a 6'6" amazon with AA is going to look like a bump at best, where on a 4'6" compact woman look absolutely great.....


<.<
>.>
<.<

But back onto the topic....

I feel I am lacking in a hell of a lot of knowledge. I am trying to make up for it with talks with my friend's boyfriend, and he actually sat down with me and helped me figure out quite a bit about this RP, given the fact that I am so unfamiliar with Imperial Guard. I know of it and he tells me stories about Commissar Cane and a few others, and explains the differences between the Imperial Guard and Space Marines as a whole, but I still feel like my knowledge could be improved.

Ok a general rundown without too much detail.

When it comes to the Imperial Guard.

Regiments are typically raised from a single homeworld, eg: The Cadians, the Elysians, the Valhallans, the Death Korps of Krieg and so on. A few rarer ones like Gaunts Ghosts came from multiple planets (Originally it was purely Tanith, but later incorporated a large number of Vervunhivers after defending their hive)

Above the Guard you have the Adeptus Astartes, Adeptus Mechanicus Forces, beneath them you have the PDF (Planetary Defence Force)

Guardsmen almost never ever get to return to their homeworld, fighting until the Regiment is basically used up where the remaining Guardsmen (and women) are permitted to settle the last world they fought on. Additionally, a Guard Commander who takes a planet generally gets settlement rights for that planet (effectively becoming its governor)

Guardsmen (and women) come in many flavours. Typically they come in 3 types of Regiments.

Infantry Regiments.
Armoured Regiments.
Artillery Regiments.

This is officially how the Guard are divided so that if one element goes rogue, they lack the support of both other types of Regiment and thus can be annihilated. Some worlds like Elysia have specialised regiments. Such as the Elysian Drop Regiments or the Phantine, who are the only Imperial Guard to actually have air assets (Fighters, Bombers etc). Except for Phantine air superiority is basically purely the Imperial Navy.

Then we have divisions made by the homeworlds.

Eg:

Catachan Guard are basically pure jungle fighters.
Valhallans are for when you want to fight on Hoth.
Tallarn are your desert raiders
Attilan Rough Riders are cavalrymen
Armageddon Steel Legion are specialised in poisonous atmospheres and cityfighting
Tanith are a stealth/scout regiment
The Mordian Iron Guard are basically musket era tactics
Elysia is specialised for its drop regiments
Phantine are famous for being the only guard who use fighters and bombers.



Some regiments are purely nobility. (This is a literal statement, there are some Imperial Guard regiments that only the noble-born sons of the planet are allowed to join)

Some are single-sex "masculine". EG: Before the Vervunhivers joined the Tanith 1st and Only the Tanith were an exclusively male regiment. And IIRC Commissar Cain was discomforted when first assigned to his Valhallan Regiment because it was mixed sex.

To this day I cannot recall hearing of a highly ranked female in the Imperial military complex. (Lieutenants, Captains sure. But i've never heard of a female General or Admiral. They probably exist, but i've never come across one in the fiction outside of the Adepta Sororitas *The "Female Space Marines"*)


....


Hmm, is there anything more specific you want to know? I was about to start typing out what amounts to basically an arsenal list of Guard weapons and vehicles and think thats probably a bad idea :p

 

[Vay]

The Dark Heresy rulebook hints strongly that sexism is very much alive and well in the imperium.

 

[Hydronine]

Ok, I was able to follow along with that quite well- and I know of many tales of Commissar Cane and I know of the Tanith.

I'm feeling a little better about my knowledge. =D

Also, AA is essentially a girl going through puberty. Like, literal bug bites. There's no way of making that look big. Trust me, I was stuck at that for.... two years? Late bloomer over here.

 

[Artorias]

Your Heretics are no match for my Tau!

Space Communists shall rule everything! Until Tyranids mass upon them because nobody has time for that shit. Let the Orks deal with that.

 

[Hydronine]

OH MY FUCKING GOD. I hate the Tau. Boyfriend's got a freakin army on loan from a friend, and I'm fairly certain that until I can get certain units, I'm fucked against him. Stupid OP Tau.

 

[Kadaeux]

Your Heretics are no match for my Tau!

Space Communists shall rule everything! Until Tyranids mass upon them because nobody has time for that shit. Let the Orks deal with that.

The last Tau player to say that to me severely regretted it.



Apparently Tau players DESPISE pure drop pod Marine Armies :p

The Dark Heresy rulebook hints strongly that sexism is very much alive and well in the imperium.

Aye, depending on who/what you work for and what world you come from.

Eg: The Adeptus Mechanicus seems significantly less sexist than the average Imperium organisation. Which makes sense since it's a society where status is based on how much of your humanity you've replaced with mechanical bits :p

But all the major organisations seem to be fairly sexist in the upper levels. EXCEPT for nobility. Those planets that work on a pseudo-monarchy mostly seem to consider the bloodline much more important than sex.

Ok, I was able to follow along with that quite well- and I know of many tales of Commissar Cane and I know of the Tanith.

I'm feeling a little better about my knowledge. =D

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. I'm something of a font of knowledge on the subject. :p

 

[Vay]

Tau hate drop anything.

Get them in melee and they fall to pieces with a satisfying squelch.

I used to play them.

 

[Kadaeux]

Tau hate drop anything.

Get them in melee and they fall to pieces with a satisfying squelch.

I used to play them.

I have a

Guard Army (Armoured Cav focus)
Marine Army (Ultramarines Drop force with Land Speeders)
Chaos Army (Infantry heavy, except for my Helbrute and Defiler)
Ork Army (Orks orks orks orks...)
Eldar Army (Mechanised, lots of Grav-tanks and Jetbikes)
Necron Army (Not a big one. Infantry heavy)
Tyranid Army (BRING ZE GRIBBLIES!)

But over the past year and a half i've just flat stopped collecting the tabletop stuff.

The models are getting idiotic (Centurions, the Grey Knight Pram, the stupid Marine aircraft, the new Dwarf Zeppelins)

The prices here in Aus are also literally 2x ANYWHERE else in the world, only NZ shares out pain on that. (Eg: It's LITERALLY cheaper for me to buy Ork Trukk's from Forgeworld with fancy bits.)

 

[Hydronine]

But... Hear me out, guys... what if we put a space marine.... INSIDE a space marine?

 

[Kadaeux]

But... Hear me out, guys... what if we put a space marine.... INSIDE a space marine?

It gets messy.

 

[Vay]

I lost tau and my older imperial guard armies to the airport gods while moving here and since no one plays here I never bothered getting again.

 

[Hydronine]

Ooo damn. Not the airport-lost-it shit. Damn, that's a rough way to loose something. I'd cry.