One Day at a Time

“They can hear you, they aren’t deaf,” he reminded, grimacing a tad at the noise it made when hitting the table. Almost all of these inky creatures had a notorious tendency to make gross sounds one way or another, and Pat’s way was the drops the ooze made when hitting the floor. HE brought no attention to it of course and instead tried to calm down the other with a smile.

“Hey, m-maybe you are just sleep deprived?” He suggested weakly, biting his lip. “You... aren’t handling this the way I thought you would, to be honest. How are we supposed to approach this, then? I want to get out but I doubt any other doctor would agree with you.”
 
"God, I can't think about that right now, give me a few hours to wrap my head around this-- this is fucking disgusting," he spat angrily at the splodges landing on the table in front of him. He wasn't the sort of person who cared to upset anyone, so he wasn't deliberately being mean despite being informed Pat could hear him. He had, however, had a severe shock and wasn't entirely able to control the thoughts from spiralling out of his mouth unfiltered. He rarely even swore, but he made an exception when he was dealing with all of this.

"He's being mean, isn't he? I can't help being the way I am," sighed Pat as they perched on the table, clenching their fists in an effort to prevent the blobs of ink falling. Nothing would stop it -it was how their body was- but they were at least trying. "...Should I go for a little while, so... so he isn't freaked out as much?"
 
“I think that might be best, yeah,” Casper whispered to the creature with another apologetic smile. “I think both of you need some time alone, perhaps? I... can talk to the nurses or paint, a-and I’m sure the patients will understand if you need a few hours to yourself, right? This’ll be fine.”

Getting to his feet, he offered the extra piece of toast to Nathan as a sauce of comfort even though he knew it probably wouldn’t do much. Nonetheless he could try his best. “I’ll leave you alone - we both will.”
 
"...No, I'm being dramatic. We can talk now, Casper. In my office, we'll say it's an early therapy session on the record but... we can discuss what to do, okay? It's not as simple as breaking you out of here; that has consequences. I don't want you here if you don't need help but we have to formulate some sort of plan, it might not be quick but it's important we do this the right way, by the book," he murmured as he motioned the other to follow along, thankful for the fact the strange blobs of inky matter that appeared to be falling constantly had all but disappeared with Pat's disappearance.

"I'm sure I can convince everyone you no longer need help. Obviously it'll take a while, but... that way you're free without needing to worry about being pursued, which would ultimately happen if you escaped here.2
 
“What about the whole ‘suicide attempts’ and whatnot that I’m on the record for?” He reminded as he quickly followed, his cup of juice in hand. “You don’t see the others and how... scary they are, I-I can’t help but kill them if they come near me,” he whispered quietly, all the while avoiding the passing nurses’ eyes. He always felt a little uncomfortable talking wholeheartedly about his visions in front of them since they would never understand.

“I’m... still scared, Nathan. Pat is nice but I know for a fact that some of them want me dead. I don’t mean to sound paranoid but I need a way to leave me alone, too. I... don’t want to end up in another one of these places when I go back to Ireland.”
 
"We'll figure it out. Maybe there's a way to stop you seeing them altogether? I... don't now what, of course, but we'll figure it out," he repeated for emphasis, slipping into his office chair and sighing happily at the peace and quiet in the smart room, the only sound being the ticking of the clock he found therapeutic, if nothing else.

"Medication might stop you seeing them. I would say that a knock on the head might, like how it started for you, but you tripped yesterday and hit your head and that didn't seem to stop you seeing them, so I'm not sure that'll work-- and it's a terrible suggestion anyway. Anything that involves you hurting yourself is a bad suggestion."
 
“I can assure you that the knock on the head wouldn’t help. It was more than a simple ‘knock’ as well, Doctor,” he reminded with a nervous smile as he took a seat facing opposite the other. Locking on the clock, he also found solice in the sound. The cafeteria was loud and there were plenty of monsters to see. In the tiny room, only so many creatures could come in if any. At the moment, all seemed calm.

“How would you do that? What, give me a lobotomy?” He snorted in disbelief, shaking his head. “You’re a Doctor; you’re smart. I just... I rather not be subjected to any surgery, please. Anasthesia makes me ill every time.
 
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"I wouldn't dream of suggesting surgery. Besides, you'd need a valid medical reason and they're hardly going to agree if we say you see monsters, are they? It's not the approach I'd ever go for, anyway. I just-- maybe they'll disappear on their own, the more you focus on ignoring them? I don't know, Casper. I don't have all the answers here, this is crazy for me; this situation, I mean," he grimaced, tapping his fingers against the desk with his gaze firmly locked on the gardens beyond his window.

"...I don't think I can get you out, Casper. Not for a long while. It takes time to get better and you're hardly on the path of recovery according to my peers. It might take a year, at the least," he began slowly, knowing they weren't the words he wanted to hear but it was best to be honest than sweeten him up with false promises. "Even then, there's no guarantee the board will agree you're no longer a danger to yourself. And of course, that doesn't stop what you see, I... I don't know how to help you."
 
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“... I’m sorry,” Casper whispered after a long pause, sitting on his hands anxiously as he avoided the other’s eyes, guilt hitting him. He knew how frustrating the whole situation was, he had seen it from his father for years after all. It only made him feel more like a burden for those around him and why he had spent a long time trying to hide what he saw to the best of his ability... even if it made him suddenly stabbing himself in the arm seen more crazy.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring so much stress upon you, Nathan. I just... I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten you, o-or anyone involved. I would rather be with my sister, away and out of everyone’s hair. I’m sorry.”
 
"Yes, well... it's too late for that, isn't it? I'm sorry, I want to help, I just-- feel so useless-- no, we'll figure this out somehow. We'll stop these monsters from hurting you, I promise. And you'll get out of here, Casper. You aren't ill; not if I also see... glimpses of what you do. You don't deserve to be in a place like this," he nodded with sudden firmness, deciding that, as difficult as it would be, he needed to get the other out - preferably after healing him of his ability to see otherworldly monsters. He had no idea where to start with that, but it was a headache for another day; for now, he was still trying to wrap his head around the black goo he had felt all over his face and digest that that had come from one of the monsters. It was almost more terrifying not seeing where the goo had come from or what the monster that produced it looked like. He knew for certain they existed, so the idea that he was surrounded by them at any given moment horrified him.

It was in the moment of genuine despair that something seemed to hit him, his eyes lighting up at something he remembered as he quickly logged into his computer and clicked away at a few sites, a smile widening on his face when he seemingly found what he had been searching for.

"There's a study from Sweden; very recent, quite new, but the results have been astounding, I... obviously the medication isn't available worldwide yet, it's in the testing process, but-- I think it could-- yes, of course it could work-- I'm babbling. Sorry. All you need to know is that this medication, when it gets the green light to be rolled out to hospitals like this for medicating patients, can help you; I'm certain. No side-effects so far in the studies, other than a little drowsiness, but-- well, that's nothing, is it? I'm not saying you see visions, I'm certain they're real now, but this-- it might just help you readjust back to this reality; block out visions from other realms. Will you try it, at least? It might take a few weeks, months even, but... it's something, Casey! It's a possible avenue back to normality for you, for me too, if I... start to really see what you do."
 
Growing silent as he watched the other babble on, Casper anxiously sat on his hands. He had taken his handful of medication in the past and more often than not they just made him feel queasy or tired. It had gotten so bad once that he couldn’t get out of bed even though the creatures still tainted him relentlessly. Biting on his lower lip anxiously, it was clear of how cautious he was of the whole situation.

“... what makes this medication different?” He meekly questioned, his tired eyes taking in the doctor with a small frown. “I’ll feel tired, right? That’s it...? There’s no trick symptom that I’ll be hit with? I took this one medication that made me have headaches all the time a-and one that didn’t help with my sleep.”
 
"Well, like I said, it's still being tested so... maybe there will be a few side-effects, but I'm sure it won't be too serious - and certainly nothing that will continue for too long. I'm certain they'd have found out by now if side-effects were long-lasting," he noted, his eager smile refusing to fade in spite of Casper's doubt. He could understand the wariness over medication, but to discount the benefits of the new pills even before they had even finished their testing process was hardly fair; not if it was currently the best chance to give the other a life outside of the hospital.

"Just... give them a try; I'll personally ask the board if we can get these hurried over to us when everything's been tested and approved for distribution. Might take some time but... as soon as it's done, I guarantee we'll have them here to help you, alright? Until then, I want to help as much as I can. I'll get pet therapy sorted. The board aren't keen, but I'll push it through somehow. And I'll find you more recreation hours; maybe I can get pottery classes started up here? That might help distract you from the monsters. I just think it's best to... ignore them, however difficult. Don't engage with them; not even that... one you named. Ignore them, it's the only way I see a chance at improvement for you."
 
“Ignore them?” He confirmed weakly, his eyes darting about the room at the small bits of the black ooze that seemed to come from cracks in the walls that weren’t actually there. “Ignore them. Yeah. I’ll try my best, I really will. It’s just hard, you know? There everywhere and... and I don’t like to be touched so what am I supposed to do when they do that? I’m sorry - I... yeah,” he declared, nodding firmly as he pulled his hands from underneath him to touch his face as a form of comfort.

“This means a lot, to be honest. No one has cared this much about me,” he admitted, his eyes brimming. “I guess that’s your job b-but it means a lot to me, I guess. Don’t let me be your main priority, I know you’ve got other patients and they’re all very nice,” he insisted with an anxious laugh, his cheeks growing pink. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”
 
"Oh, this is both professional and personal - it's my job, sure, but I... care about you more than I perhaps ought to. It's led me to prioritise you but I really think you need that; a friend, you know? So don't apologise, I'm happy to be involved in both your case as your doctor, and in your life as your friend. It's... really not a job to me at this point, and I'm fine with that - but yes, I should tend to some of my other patients, can't go ignoring my job too long," he laughed himself, standing up to helpfully open the door for the other. Just because he felt things were moving on the right track didn't mean he worried any less for the patient, especially not when the black blobs he could now somehow see were dotted about the corridor like footsteps, clear evidence that Pat had been lingering outside and waiting for Casper to reappear.

"Oh, you're out! Are you okay? Does he hate me for getting his hair messed up? Did he tell you not to trust me?" They enquired, their tone dropping sadly; their voice was the only thing that really could signify how they felt, other than physical action at least. When they had no features to speak of, emoting was particularly difficult, though they had never had to do that before; there was no need to let anyone know if they felt sad or happy. Now, with Casper, they were making an effort to set some emotion in their voice, to make it easier for Casper to identify how they felt. "...What's the plan now? Can we paint? I like painting. I paint the walls sometimes. It always disappears, but still, it's fun."
 
“He... he wants me to ignore you,” he admitted once closing the door carefully behind him, taking in Pat with a frown. “He says I should ignore everything until I’m given new medicine but... I don’t want to ignore you, you’re nice. You’re the closest thing I have to a friend here, Pat. If... I lose you, I won’t have anyone else. I’m not going to think about it, though,” he decided before heading down the hall, expecting the creature to follow.

“Let’s paint, yes,” he agreed quietly as his hands fiddled, his eyes avoiding the passing nurses and patients alike as he moved quickly. “It’ll get my mind off of everything. I hate taking medication, it hardly works and I usually just feel exhausted while on it. I can still see... things, even when I want rock sleep all day. I still feel them touching me in my sleep,” he explained quietly, only to pause outside of the small studio. “Don’t make too much of a mess.”
 
"...He told you to ignore me? Do you think that would help? If you ignored me?" They questioned slowly, coming to a stop outside the studio, rocking back on their heels to give themselves something to do. It was either that, or freak out at the possibility that Casper would ignore them and eventually stop seeing them altogether, especially if new medication became available to him. The fact that they might even be perpetuating Casper's discomfort was horrifying too, though Pat preferred to neglect thinking about that, knowing guilt would only ruin their friendship if they did dwell on it.

"I don't want to... make your life difficult. And the creatures, the other ones, are drawn to me, and if I'm around you, they'll come and bother you and-- you have other friends, you have that nice doctor man. I... don't want you to... have any problems because of me," they began awkwardly, their glowing eyes dimming a tad. "I... just want to help."
 
"You aren't making my life any more difficult than it was to begin with," he reassured, warily pressing on the door to step into the surprisingly clean and pristine room. No one else was there, thankfully, preferring to work quietly and it didn't take a genius to realize that some of the other patients weren't afraid to raise their voices. Rummaging through some supplies, he grabbed one of the premade canvases and some watercolor paint before taking a seat close to the wall for Pat.

"I don't want to lose you, you're nice. As for the others, could you fight them? You're very strong looking," he lied quietly, patiently waiting for the other to sit. "Let's not talk about it right now, I want to paint. What kind of art do you like? You're... so advance and humanlike, I'm sure you can appreciate art," he commented with a soft smile.
 
"I just like colourful art. Just... loads of colour. I'm hardly colourful so I like to see colour, you know? I... think I'd be best off just watching you paint, though. I... think it's best not to be involved much anymore. You don't like me, Casper, and that's... fine! It's fine. You just like having me for company to pass the time. I'm not stupid, you know. I've observed human culture f-for years-- at least inside this hospital. I know more than you think I do," they determined as they awkwardly hesitated at the doorway, the canvas providing temptation which they somehow managed to avoid. They wanted nothing more than to paint and chat with someone they saw as a friend (as their only friend, really), but the guilt was eating away at them - they felt like their presence was only detrimental to him. Nathan clearly thought so too, or he wouldn't have advised Casper to ignore the monsters around him.

"...I want to be friends-- I just-- I'm not good for you. You shouldn't speak to me, you're just going to get worse-- like the doctor said. I-I don't want to be responsible for your bad health."
 
“I’m fine,” he urged, turning tickets face the other in clear anxiety. “I’m fine, Pat. I can fake it, really! Just - I promise. I don’t want you to leave,” he insisted, his voice cracking in desperation. “Please, Just... come sit down with me for a little while. We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”

Patting the empty seat beside him, he offered a weak smile. “I’m not going to make you but it would be nice. I think you’re lovely, really. I’m sorry if I’m not good at articulating my feelings, it’s something my old doctor told me.”
 
Eyeing the human quietly, it took Pat a few seconds to inwardly debate what to do. On one hand, they didn't really want to perpetuate any anxiety and stress Caper already experienced. On the other, they didn't want to abandon the only friend they had ever made - and the only person who could see them outside of the bizarre creatures they were constantly approached by. In the end, they inevitably opted to take a seat and reach eagerly for the paint, haphazardly splashing a few colours across the sheet.

"...I just don't want you freaking out, that's all. You're going to get better and... not see me anymore, Casper. One day, you'll take medication that'll block me out and that sucks, so I want to enjoy the time we do have left-- I'm always going to stay around you, obviously. Even when you can't see me, I'll be there, hanging around-- 'cos I like you and... I'd rather be around you than the other creatures."