One Day at a Time

saturnia pavonia

waking ups a drag
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Furry
“Okay. It’s jusr... I guess you seemed mad at me for a second? I don’t know. It’s complicated,” he explained after a pause. “Besides, I do want to know more about you. I mean, you’ll be hounding me for stuff about myself but I guess I just want to hound you right back? To make it even, you know? I-... I’m sorry, this is all just a bit nerve wracking, yeah?” He explained with a nervous laugh before taking a seat at the cafeteria, taking in the other patients with pursed lips.

While he loved to get on with nurses, he never really felt like he fit in with the others. They didn’t understand his situation, after all, so would touch him despite being incredibly uncomfortable and inevitably would cause the man to have a panic attack. It was clockwork and he figured it was just better to stay away from them, period. If there was one way to get on Casper’s nerves, it was to touch him without permission.

“Do you have tea?” He questioned once sitting down and letting out a deep yawn. “Something caffeinated, at least until 5. My sister calls almost every day when she wakes up and I don’t want to miss her call,” he admitted rather proudly. While he was left behind by his father, it was nice to know his sister cared so much about him. She may not know it but Casper wasn’t afraid to boast about how successful she was, never being particularly jealous because he could easily throw his art back at her, knowing she didn’t have the coordination for art. “She usually visits for her summer, comes down here in winter,” he explained.
 

potassiumboron

We're all monsters, living in a dream~
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Meh, depends really. I tend to be more aggressive I suppose, but I find a good balance with my roleplaying partner and adjust my style accordingly.
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Horror, gore, bloodiness, monsters, supernatural, fantasy, romance, criminality... I could go on.
Genre You DON'T Like
Furry, sci-fi, boring high-school, slice of life genres that are bland and don't have some twists somewhere.
"That's nice. About your sister, I mean. It's good that you have a family member you're close to. A lot of patients I see don't have that luxury. It's amazing to me to see so many people just abandon their loved ones here like their behaviour is their choice, somehow-- I'm glad you have your sister, at least," he smiled, tapping his hands against the table whilst offering a warm smile or two to passing patients who first greeted him then commented that they'd missed his appearance around the hospital the last few days. While it was a nice compliment to hear and only consolidated how well liked he was amongst the people he gave his whole life too, it did make him feel significantly more guilty than he already felt.

He didn't regret the time he dedicated to Casper's file, but he felt like he could have at least spent some of his spare time with the patients that enjoyed his presence around the hospital. Casper wasn't his only patient, after all, even though his 'condition' was one that required a little more attention because of how severe it was deemed. That said, it didn't mean the others deserved to be ignored in favour of him; that was just plain wrong.

"Do you mind if I go and sit with some of the other patients? I haven't really spoken to many people since your file came on my desk and I feel awful about that. I'd ask you to come and sit with us but you don't seem like you'd enjoy that, which is totally fine. I just think I need to interact with my other patients a little. We've talked for a while, I'm sure you'd love a break away from me bothering you, hm?"
 

saturnia pavonia

waking ups a drag
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Oh, aha, sure!” He replied as he watched the patients walk past. While he wasn’t jealous, it was a bit disappointing to be taken away from the one person he had made friends with sort of, especially since he felt as if he didn’t make a very good first impression. Despite that, he also wanted to be alone in a very strange, very confusing ordeal.

“I assume this means our session is over?” He confirmed as he watched a nurse bring over his lunch. He stared at it warily though smiled at her nonetheless. It was pretty amazing for hospital food but that didn’t mean he was all for it. He nibbled on his sandwich with a sigh nonetheless, just happy to have his stomach filled. “I think I’ll probably take a nap. It was nice talking to you, doctor.”
 

potassiumboron

We're all monsters, living in a dream~
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Favorite Genres
Horror, gore, bloodiness, monsters, supernatural, fantasy, romance, criminality... I could go on.
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Furry, sci-fi, boring high-school, slice of life genres that are bland and don't have some twists somewhere.
"Hey, our sessions are over when we leave the office. Unless you desperately wanted to talk to me in a more relaxed setting, we can just be friends outside of the office. Whether it's cheesy or not, I prefer my patients to see me as someone they can just talk to about normal things too, and that requires a sort of separation - the office is for the doctor-patient stuff, anywhere else is just for normal conversations," he admitted, absently shooting a few smiles over at the patients to reassure them he was going to be along at their table shortly. It was true that he wanted to spend a little more time with Casper, feeling like they hadn't really gotten anywhere, but prioritising him after days of focusing on his file only wasn't fair to anyone else.

"We can talk later, I promise. We can go out to the garden if you wanted to do that, and we can pick some flowers for your room. I'm sure nobody would mind us doing that."
 

saturnia pavonia

waking ups a drag
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Passive more, though occasionally I'll do aggressive
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Furry
“That’s fine, yeah,” he quickly replied, finding his lingering presence almost antagonistic. He could be left alone, it was just a matter of when he wanted to. Offering another smile, he took a heavy bite of his sandwich in an attempt to silently convince the doctor that he was fine.

“If I need you I’ll tell a nurse,” he confirmed quietly before searching for a said nurse, deciding on a cute blonde by the door. “I’ll tell him, yeah? He seems nice,” he nodded. “I’m... fine.”
 

potassiumboron

We're all monsters, living in a dream~
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Favorite Genres
Horror, gore, bloodiness, monsters, supernatural, fantasy, romance, criminality... I could go on.
Genre You DON'T Like
Furry, sci-fi, boring high-school, slice of life genres that are bland and don't have some twists somewhere.
It wasn't feasible to believe that all his patients were going to like him, no matter how hard he tried. It didn't mean he was just going to palm them off to one of his colleagues and wipe his hands clean of responsibility; they could hate him as much as they liked and he was still going to try his absolute hardest to help them. While he was sure that he wasn't hated by Casper, he couldn't help but think that he wasn't all that liked either, with the 'cheesy' comment and the forced politeness building that assumption for him.

It didn't remotely matter if he wasn't liked, so questioning him about it really wasn't going to happen. Instead, he offered a final smile of his own and made his way to eat his own lunch with some patients who wanted him to sit and talk with them.
 
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saturnia pavonia

waking ups a drag
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Passive more, though occasionally I'll do aggressive
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Furry
For Casper, he enjoyed his time being alone. While he would never fully get comfortable with all of the things he saw, he was at least able to take in the surroundings as long as he had a nurse beside him. It was refreshing, the smell of the ocean being not too far off. He hadn’t been to the ocean since he was a child, when his sister decided to take him back in Ireland, but he never set foot anywhere near the Australian sea. He knew he probably never would on account of everyone thinking he was crazy but he could dream.

He went to the garden, enjoyed the flowers as best he could and was happy to learn he was receiving a call once he came back in to his sister where he eagerly explained the situation while letting his sister rant on about her day. It was nice and he wished things were as simple as that, with fun little things to distract him from the monsters that seemed to haunt the halls.

It wasn’t until he was led to bed for the night that everything went to shit. It was always njght time when the more adventurous creatures came to play, hiding in the darkness. Just like every night, Casper was left to lay rigidly on his bed for hours, watching as the most horrifying creatures approached and breathed heavily on him, pinning him to the bed with the sharp claws which, just like every night, caused Casper to scream in horror. Just like every night, he was greeted by nurses and inevitably given a sleep aid to at least help him get a few hours.

So, once waking up for the next session, Casper wasn’t very chipper. He wasn’t hungry but he ate some toast anyway to at least avoid getting sick and he had a cup of tea to both wake him up a bit and cheer him up as well. With the cup of tea in hand, he sat down in front of Nathan with a small smile.

“How was your day?” He questioned curiously. “Did you have fun with those other patients? You seemed to like their company, which is nice.”
 

potassiumboron

We're all monsters, living in a dream~
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Horror, gore, bloodiness, monsters, supernatural, fantasy, romance, criminality... I could go on.
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Furry, sci-fi, boring high-school, slice of life genres that are bland and don't have some twists somewhere.
"I'd rather we skip the chit-chat and talk about last night instead. Do you mind telling me what happened during the night? I heard that it's a regular occurrence for you to wake up screaming. I thought we could talk about that rather than... waste time talking about other patients. You can start when you're ready, there's no rush. I got that gummy candy you like -they're in the drawer- so take as many as you want," the doctor replied casually, making a gesture to said drawer whilst keeping his eyes locked on the papers he was scribbling on. It wasn't in his nature to avoid casual conversation with his patients, but he had gotten the impression that his attempts at being friendly and a relaxed, natural presence around Casper hadn't gone down too well. In fact, he was sure it just made him uncomfortable, so, however uncomfortable it made him to jump straight into their session, it felt the most reasonable thing to do.

Getting called cheesy wasn't something he wanted repeated, and, not knowing the specifics of what Casper found cheesy about him, he opted to just avoid talking or saying anything outside of the typical doctor-patient stuff. He could evaluate him, listen to his problems and his state of mind and offer advice whilst coming to his own conclusions about diagnoses, but as far as taking the time out to be a friend to him, he wasn't going to do that. He wanted to and it didn't feel right not doing it... but he hardly wanted to force anything if it made Casper feel weird. Sticking to the typical doctor role was weird for him, but he could do it, in the knowledge that every other patient of his seemed to appreciate the effort he went through for them.

"Was it a nightmare, or was it to do with these monsters you claim to see?" He asked slowly, finally lifting his eyes up from the papers with a concerned frown. "...Has medication helped you at your previous hospitals? I see you've been prescribed various forms of tablets, but they don't seem to have helped."
 

saturnia pavonia

waking ups a drag
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“I- oh. Uh... okay,” he whispered in shock. Sure, he found the doctor’s overly friendly attitude a bit strange but he didn’t hate it. In fact, he liked it enough that it at least got him excited to come to therapy for the first time in awhile. His thankful smile faded the minute he was cut off and hesitated before reaching for the candy. Taking a bite of one, he exhaled at the taste.

“They happen almost every night,” he admitted, his somewhat cheerful tune deflating. “The pills don’t work, no. They just taste gross - the only thing that they help with is sleep, but even then it isn’t perfect,” he admitted quietly before taking another sip of his tea. “I would be lying if I said that it didn’t terrify me, to be honest. They get... daring, at night. Sorry - I’m sorry,” he quickly murmured in sudden upset, his eyes brimming with tears. “Are you mad at me?”
 

potassiumboron

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Horror, gore, bloodiness, monsters, supernatural, fantasy, romance, criminality... I could go on.
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Furry, sci-fi, boring high-school, slice of life genres that are bland and don't have some twists somewhere.
"No. Even if I was, you wouldn't know about it because I'm not the one whose feelings matter in this place. I'm the doctor; you're my patient. I'm here to help you. You're not here to listen to me whine if my feelings did get... hurt a little. I'm not immune to getting hurt, I'm as human as you, but my feelings aren't any of your concern. You made it clear, unconsciously or not, that a traditional doctor-patient relationship is more... comfortable for you. I'm not against talking about my feelings to my patients, I enjoy the transparency, but I'd rather not make you uncomfortable. Sticking to a traditional working relationship seems like it'd work best-- it'd give me time to focus on your case, anyway. I won't get distracted by trying to forge a personal relationship with you. It might turn out for the best, actually," he commented carefully, straightening out the papers after making the last few notes. He was doing his best not to say something that he shouldn't or sound too mean, even if he wasn't entirely sure why he should be worried about that. He assumed that this was what Casper wanted, so he was giving it to him.

"...Medication doesn't work," he repeated, just to get things back on track during the time they had together. "...Do these monsters appear at random moments, or are they more likely to appear when you're feeling a certain way, emotionally? As in, do they appear more regularly when you're tired, or sad, or angry, even?"
 

saturnia pavonia

waking ups a drag
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“Well, sort of? They show up more often at night but I’m always tired. I’m thinking it’s because some of them don’t like light, like vampires. I’ve tested it out, yeah? Some of them detest water so taking showers tends to be the safest time. The cockroach ones hate water, won’t even touch me if my body is wet. I haven’t really figured it out yet but I do have a journey on everything. My first therapist back in school told me to keep it, I can bring it in if you’d like?” He offered, his eyes hopeful to at least get some reaction. In fact, the other’s deadpan and even somewhat upset face caused him deep anxiety.

“Fuck - ah.... yeah. It seems like wherever I go, sometimes there are the same species? There are outliers, though. I’ve noticed that almost all of them have ill intentions and that they all like flesh and meat, unless they like to kill for sport, though I don’t like to think about that,” he explained. “The only exceptions are these little flying ones, but they are only outside. They kind of are like hummingbirds and like the flowers a lot, so I like to plant them and watch them feed. They don’t seem agressive so I don’t see why I wouldn’t want to help them.”
 
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potassiumboron

We're all monsters, living in a dream~
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Male, Female, Transgender, No Preferences
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
Meh, depends really. I tend to be more aggressive I suppose, but I find a good balance with my roleplaying partner and adjust my style accordingly.
Favorite Genres
Horror, gore, bloodiness, monsters, supernatural, fantasy, romance, criminality... I could go on.
Genre You DON'T Like
Furry, sci-fi, boring high-school, slice of life genres that are bland and don't have some twists somewhere.
"...Interesting. I still think you're coping immensely well, you know. Given the gruesomeness of what you're seeing, I think the fact you can sit here and talk to me so openly and calmly is... commendable, actually. I realise this isn't easy for you, but I'm going to do my best to help in any way I can," he promised, nodding firmly with a brief smile, before returning to his notes and -as expected- the homemade smoothie at his side, with his typical mid-morning snack of fruit and nuts. He was genuinely struggling with Casper's case. He believed, much like all the doctors, that there was something deeply wrong with Casper's mind for him to imagine up and believe so strongly in all these monsters from other realms.

Another part of him, however, found himself glancing around whilst sat at home, as though there were creatures around him. He didn't think it was remotely healthy to encourage what Casper intensely believed by admitting that he himself believed him, because he didn't - but he couldn't help himself wondering if there was just a slither of truth in what he was saying. He was a man of science and logic dictated that Casper was simply ill... but there was a tiny bit of doubt lurking in Nathan's mind that prompted him to question if that really was the case. He found Casper far too persuasive and convincing to doubt everything he said, anyway - but he wasn't going to admit that to him.

"Is there anything else you want to talk about whilst we're here?"
 

saturnia pavonia

waking ups a drag
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Furry
“I’ve dealt with this for years,” he reminded with a nervous smile. “You get sort of used to it eventually. My father can attest that I would be too afraid to go home because that’s where they would be the most. Don’t you think hunters are startled for their first kill? They get used to it eventually,” he insisted before exhaling.

“What are you planning to help me with? How? What are you going to do that is any different from the others? None of you believe me, right? I just... I want to leave here, but no one will let me.”
 

potassiumboron

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Favorite Genres
Horror, gore, bloodiness, monsters, supernatural, fantasy, romance, criminality... I could go on.
Genre You DON'T Like
Furry, sci-fi, boring high-school, slice of life genres that are bland and don't have some twists somewhere.
"I was going to suggest that a colleague of mine take your case on. I think I can help you, I'd like to think I could at least, but I also know that the best way to help you is to find a doctor who you like and feel comfortable with. You aren't going to progress if you don't have someone you feel comfortable around, right?" He suggested easily, scrunching his nose a little at how meek the explanation sounded. He never liked having to hand patients of his over to another doctor at the hospital, feeling like a failure every time he was forced to, but it made sense in this case to do just that.

Not only did he think Casper would be with a doctor he liked, but he also felt he was getting too close to the case, so much so that it was overriding the logic he had stuck to for years. He didn't like doubting himself and feeling confused, and if he couldn't keep a clear head, Casper simply wasn't going to get any better.

"Dr. Dymond is lovely, he's one of the older psychiatrists who appreciates my different way of handling patients-- he's my idol, actually. Working with him is a dream come true, however pathetic that sounds-- I'm sure he'll work wonders with you, you'll like him in no time."
 

saturnia pavonia

waking ups a drag
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“But I just got here...?” He replied, his eyes wide in horror. He was so tired of having to move constantly and to hear that only after a day of working with the other, he was being handed off? It was a hard hit to his ego, as was evident by him hiding his face and sniffling loudly.

“Am I that bad of a patient? I’m trying, I-I really am! I’m just... I’m sorry. I don’t want to move again and I’m sorry if I’m disappointing you, I’m just scared and I just want everyone to know I’m not an idiot. I’m not trying to make this harder for you, really!” He insisted through his hands. “I’m sorry, I’m... I’m really sorry.”
 

potassiumboron

We're all monsters, living in a dream~
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Favorite Genres
Horror, gore, bloodiness, monsters, supernatural, fantasy, romance, criminality... I could go on.
Genre You DON'T Like
Furry, sci-fi, boring high-school, slice of life genres that are bland and don't have some twists somewhere.
"...What makes you think you'd be moving hospitals? I have zero intention on letting that happen, not after seeing how much you've moved-- no, silly, I was simply going to let a colleague of mine here help you. We'd still see one another and you can still talk to me, if you really needed to. I just wouldn't be in charge of your case," he explained awkwardly, fiddling with the pen in his hand in an attempt to work his way through the discussion without breaking the professionalism. He didn't usually fit in with the rigid doctors he had met over the years, but showing that front, in his eyes, was what Casper wanted. He'd tried to be friendly, and got called cheesy in the process; a word he had an inherent dislike to, that made him want to have a good old crying session over.

"God, please don't cry," he whispered after a moment, guilt hitting him hard enough to break the attempt at being 'professional', instead reaching to nudge a box of tissues across to him. "I just think it'd be better for both of us-- you want to get out, right? You'd probably stand a better chance of that with someone you connect to more than me."
 

saturnia pavonia

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“You didn’t connect with me?” He whispered after a pause. “What are you talking about? Was it because I called you cheesy? Nathan, that... wasn’t an insult, really! I thought I was being good at teasing with you but I guess I was wronfCl he confirmed with a growing frown, keeping his face covered wearily.

“I’m sorry, I - I think you’re one of the nicest people I’ve met since I’ve been forced into this whole fucked up system,” he admitted, his cheeks growing red in embarrassment. “If you don’t want to work with me, that’s fine. I’m used to that. I mean, I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t,” he reminded.
 

potassiumboron

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Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
Meh, depends really. I tend to be more aggressive I suppose, but I find a good balance with my roleplaying partner and adjust my style accordingly.
Favorite Genres
Horror, gore, bloodiness, monsters, supernatural, fantasy, romance, criminality... I could go on.
Genre You DON'T Like
Furry, sci-fi, boring high-school, slice of life genres that are bland and don't have some twists somewhere.
"...It's not that, not really-- I've had patients spit at me and try to rip my hair out when I first started out, I can take getting called cheesy. I just-- my professional judgement is being clouded by doubts and I don't think it's healthy to indulge your... delusions by telling you that I'm doubting they're delusions, if... that makes sense? On one hand, I don't believe what you're seeing is real, it goes against everything my peers have written and everything I studied. On the other hand, I think you're convincing and... I'm finding it difficult to talk to you with a clear head. I find myself teetering on the verge of believing you, and... it goes against everything I've spent years studying-- do you see the problem I have? I'm too invested in what you're saying and you don't have a chance of getting better if I encourage your... beliefs," he murmured, grimacing down at his papers.

"What you see can't possibly be real, and it isn't. That's the stance I'm taking because it's logical and there's plenty of evidence to suggest that you have psychosis, and a severe case at that. I want to help you through that, I really do, but I can only do that if I fully believe that's the condition you have. I'm struggling to... believe that, I suppose."
 

saturnia pavonia

waking ups a drag
Original poster
Roleplay Invitations
One on One Roleplays
Posting Speed
Speed of Light, Several Posts a Day, A Few Posts A Day, One Post a Day
My Usual Online Time
12 pm-10:30 pm (with some exceptions)
Writing Levels
Give-No-Fucks, Beginner, Elementary, Intermediate, Adaptable
Genders You Prefer Playing
Primarily Prefer Male, No Preferences
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
Passive more, though occasionally I'll do aggressive
Favorite Genres
Fantasy, Mystery, Scifi, Romance, Yaoi, Yuri, Horror
Genre You DON'T Like
Furry
“So you think I’m telling the truth?” He quickly replied, his eyes wide in hope as he let his hands settle on his lap, a smile on his lips. “Oh, that’s a relief, really. I mean, I would totally accept taking on another doctor if that meant at least one person believed me. How pathetic is that?” He whispered with a firm nod.

“That being said, I don’t want to lose you as a doctor. I know you might not care. Just... What do you want me to do? I mean, I want this to stop, whether it’s in my head or if I’m right, okay? It’s terrifying...”
 

potassiumboron

We're all monsters, living in a dream~
Roleplay Invitations
One on One Roleplays
Posting Speed
Several Posts a Day, A Few Posts A Day, One Post a Day
My Usual Online Time
3pm - 1am (GMT / BST)
Writing Levels
Beginner, Elementary, Intermediate, Adept, Adaptable
Genders You Prefer Playing
Male, Female, Transgender, No Preferences
Playing Style- Passive or Aggressive
Meh, depends really. I tend to be more aggressive I suppose, but I find a good balance with my roleplaying partner and adjust my style accordingly.
Favorite Genres
Horror, gore, bloodiness, monsters, supernatural, fantasy, romance, criminality... I could go on.
Genre You DON'T Like
Furry, sci-fi, boring high-school, slice of life genres that are bland and don't have some twists somewhere.
"I never said I believed you, that'd be career suicide if I openly said I believed in your stories, I just... I thought about whether there was a chance you weren't... ill. I never said I believed you completely, I think it's more likely that you're not well than it is for the existence of these monsters to be... a reality. I think you need help and that's what I'm here for."
 
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