Klutzy Ninja Kitty

Edgeearl
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Here is a collection of one shots featuring the couple Emma Swan and Killian Jones from the series Once Upon a Time. These oneshots may contain spoilers for the most recent episodes of the show.

Table of Contents
1. Vacuum Cleaner
2. Netflix
3. Date Night
 
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"How did you know?" I asked, not sure I wanted the answer. I thought I had been careful. I thought she hadn't noticed my brief loss of composure over something as simple as a loud noise.

"Other than the fact I know you better than you think I do, I could tell you were scared because I saw you flinch," she explained, amusement sparkling in her gorgeous hazel eyes. I quickly tried to brush off her accusation.

"Oh, Swan, I'm afraid you've got it all wrong. Your contraption merely startled me. I've fearlessly braved far louder storms than your little machine."

Emma shot me a knowing smile. "If you say so, Killian," she mumbled with obvious disbelief in her voice. "And, just so you know, this machine is called a vacuum cleaner. It's used to suck dirt off the floor."

I cleared my throat and nodded. "Right, I knew that."

Emma glanced back at her machine. "Okay, well, if it doesn't bother you, I'm just going to keep learning the floor."

Without another word, she grabbed the handle of the cleaner and turned the bloody thing back on. When she did so, I could feel my heart race and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. "Wait, Swan!" I cried, stepping toward her so I could place my hand over the hand she was using to move the machine around. My action caused her to turn off the cleaner and leer at me.

I frowned, frustrated to have displayed fear around her. In response, she gave my hand a squeeze and kissed my cheek, instantly cheering me up. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging you. I just thought your reaction was cute."

I smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, Love, but I guess there are still a few things in your land I'm not used to yet."
 
Here's a little oneshot based on this little scene from season 4 episode 1:
Emma brings up the idea of watching netflix to Killian and he states that he doesn't know what it is.

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I grasped the television remote in my hand and plopped down on the couch, patting the cushion next to me. "Over here, Hook. I'll show you what Netflix is."

Being someone who comes from a land without technology, Killian didn't exactly know a lot of things about the world I come from. Regardless, he is always willing to try new things. Back when I first told him about Netflix, the man was more than eager to give it a whirl simply because he knew it would be an excuse to spend more time with me. I rather would've been frozen alive by the snow queen to admit it, but I actually found this... cute. Like I'd ever tell him that!

The very curious pirate wandered over to the TV instead of coming to me, nudging the box with his boot. "Is this the Netflix you were telling me about?" he questioned, blue eyes full of wonder like a child's as they turned to look at me. I smirked, loving that I could've told him anything and he would've believed me. But, in this case, I decided not to take advantage of him being naive.

"That's the television. When I turn it on, we can watch Netflix on it. It's kind of like a... library full of movies," I explained.

Finally joining me, Killian wandered away from the TV and sat next to me on the couch. "Got it. And movies are those moving pictures you were telling me about? It sounds bloody confusing to me, but if you say this is a good way to spend time together, I will be more than happy to oblige," he said, his voice lowering to a whisper as he neared the end of his sentence.

The suave pirate attempted to lean in toward me afterwards, his nose nearly touching my cheek and his breath tickling the side of my face. The contact sent a shiver down my spine. I tried to pay him no attention when he did this, making sure to keep my eyes from making contact with his. If I did, I knew I'd get lost in them and probably forget why we had even come to the apartment in the first place.

Instead of giving him attention, I continued to look straight ahead while grabbing his chin and turning it away from me toward the television. "The movie isn't on my face. It'll be on the TV," I told him, keeping my voice flat. I used the remote I had been holding to quickly turn on the TV and set up Netflix, struggling to ignore Killian ogling me while I did so. Turning his chin away from me really hadn't done any good at all.

"Oh, Swan, but your face is surely far better than any movie. I could look at it all day," he said, wiggling his dark eyebrows before swooping in like a ninja to sneak a kiss on my cheek. I froze up when he did this, nearly dropping the remote.

After regaining my senses, I gave him a playful shove as a laugh escaped my lips. "Killian, please! Let me focus for five seconds so I can just pick out a movie or a show for us to watch." Whenever Hook was around, I hated how ridiculously hard it was to focus on anything, even something as simple as choosing a movie on Netflix. He was like an everlasting magnet, always pulling my thoughts and feelings back into his grasp.

Hook chuckled and pulled back from me. "Okay, Swan, have it your way," he told me, actually laying off for a minute or two. It must've been difficult for him. Whenever he was around, it seemed like I was as much of a magnet to him as he was to me.

"Um, lets try this show," I said after a moment, selecting my favorite zombie apocalypse show, The Walking Dead.

"Certainly, Love," he replied, a big smile covering his lips. For someone who had no idea what was going on, he looked perfectly content and happy. It amazed me that someone could be so happy just because they were around... me.

Once I had the show started, Killian placed an arm around me on the back of the couch and scooted closer. This time, his head did face the TV, but I could see his eyes darting between me and the show. "The show is on the screen, not over here," I reminded him, trying not to get distracted myself.

"That may be your opinion," he teased, attempting to keep his eyes on the screen.

As the show progressed, Hook would occasionally ask me a question. By the end of the first episode, however, his foot began to twitch. He was quiet and started to look around the room, his focus not staying on the show. He drummed his fingers on his leg and began fiddling with his hook. I could tell he was getting bored. Curious as to how long he could go without admitting he was bored, I waited. Before I knew it five episodes had passed and he still hadn't said much.

Finally, I paused the show and dropped the remote. I reached over to turn his face toward me, cupping his chin before giving him a semi-passionate kiss. Hook returned the kiss eagerly, smirking when I pulled back. Looking like a perky puppy who had just been given a bone, he said, "It's about time. How about another?" with a wink afterwards.

I smiled. "You're not even going to ask what it was for, are you? It was a thank you. Killian, I can tell you're really into Netflix and that's fine. I just couldn't figure out why you wouldn't express how bored you were until I realized... you were sitting here all this time because of me."

"Aye," he said with a confirming nod. "That I did."

"Why? I mean, there are plenty of other things we could do to spend time together. I didn't mean to bore you to death."

Hook placed a hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eye. "Here's the thing, Love, caring for someone means doing things the other person likes too. And I care for you. If you want to sit and watch a movie all day, even if it's not my thing, I'll do it. As long as you're by my side, that's all I need."

I grabbed his collar and kissed him again, letting my emotions do the talking. I could never explain how much it meant that Killian cared about me so much that he was willing to do things he wasn't interested in for my sake. I couldn't even remember the last time someone had done that for me...

When I pulled back from the kiss I touched the side of his cheek. "It's getting late. Wanna... go to bed?" I asked, picking up the remote in my hand again.

He smiled. "Tempting, but why don't you go on ahead and I'll join you later? I'm going to give this... Walking Dead... another try."

I nodded and stood up, kissing him on top of the head. "Oh, sure if that's what you want. I'll leave it on for you." I played the show for him again and left the pirate so I could head to bed.

And so, it turned out, Killian never came to bed. The next morning I woke up and got dressed before heading out to see the one-handed pirate mere inches away from the screen, still watching the show as he sat on his knees. My jaw dropped.

"Killian, don't tell me you've been up all night watching this!"

"Swan, you're just in time!" he exclaimed, excited eyes never leaving the screen for a second. "They just found Sophia in the barn. I knew she would be dead! I just bloody knew it!" He clenched a fist in victory, as if proud of himself for predicting the outcome of the show. "There's no way in hell a child could survive on her own out there with the walkers!" Hook added. He looked like a child, thrilled over Sunday morning cartoons. I couldn't help myself as a laugh escaped my lips.

Dammit, Killian, why do you have to be so adorable sometimes?

"Huh, I guess next time we watch this together you won't have any trouble focusing at all," I teased. And next time, at least I wouldn't feel guilty for making him watch something he wasn't interested in.
 
A very happy pair of Charmings walked side-by-side, heading home after a romantic date. They had enjoyed a peaceful dinner together at Granny's and had watched a very magnificent sunset at the beach. It had been quite the relaxing date night, leaving them feeling refreshed and ready to head back home to their little boy.

With one of her arms looped through David's, Snow strolled along slowly with a smile over her rosy lips. "I think that was one of the nicest sunsets we've seen in a while, don't you?" she asked.

David graced his wife with a calm smile and nodded. "Oh, most definitely. It's been such a long time since we've gotten to relax away from Neal--not that I'm complaining. We're lucky Emma was able to watch him for us tonight."

They were lucky indeed. The Charmings had intended to have Belle watch the baby. It had been planned for quite some time in advance. However, something had come up at the last minute and she wasn't able to babysit. As the couple scrambled to find a replacement sitter, they happened upon Emma--who was willing enough to do one favor for her frazzled parents.

"How do you think it went? Emma watching Neal?" Snow suddenly questioned her husband, hoping that their daughter would be attentive enough to her little one. As an overprotective mother, Snow couldn't help but worry over it.

"Oh, I'm sure it went just fine. I bet Emma and Hook took great care of him. He'll probably be sound asleep when we get back," David answered, feeling his wife halt to a stop beside him. He glanced at her, frowning at the horrified look on her face.

"Wait just one second. Emma and Hook were watching Neal? When we left him with Emma at our apartment, Hook wasn't there!" she exclaimed.

David smiled sheepishly, now regretting he had let Hook's name slip out of his lips. "Uh, Emma told me Hook would be stopping over later to see her..."

"And you're just telling me this now!?" Snow gasped, her mouth falling open.

The man sighed and placed his comforting hands on his wife's shoulders. "Calm down. I don't see what the big deal is. It's not like Emma would neglect Neal just because Hook is there."

"Oh, but David, that's exactly what it could be like! You've seen how distracted Emma gets when Hook is around her! What if she forgot to feed Neal or hasn't changed his diaper? She could be... making out with him on the couch or doing... well, you know!"

The prince puffed out his chest, suddenly looking like an angry bird with his feathers ruffled. "Oh, if that pirate even thinks about laying a hand on my daughter behind my back in my own apartment while I'm away I'll drag him out of there myself and show him what a real left hook looks like!"

Snow groaned. "David, this is about Neal! For god's sake, Emma is a grown woman. What she does is her own business. I'm more worried about the baby!"

"Ah, right," David mumbled, rubbing the back of his head. "Let's just hurry home to see what's going on with Em-- I mean, Neal."

Rolling her eyes, Snow grabbed hold of her husband's hand and tugged it, urging him to head along with her to their apartment. When they arrived at the door, the pair could hear Emma inside giggling wildly while Killian groaned in the background, "Bloody hell! That was the most god-awful thing I've ever seen in my entire life. And I've been around a long time, Love. Ohhh, if only I could wipe this horrible abomination from my memory."

The Charmings shared a confused glance before opening the door and heading inside. "We're home," David called out, gaining no response from Emma and Hook, who were sitting on the couch in front of the TV. Snow said nothing, simply rushing over to check on her son. David stepped toward the couple on the couch, a puzzled expression on his face. "Okay, what exactly is going on here?"

Emma glanced up at her father, struggling to break free from her laughter in order to give him proper response. Hook, on the other hand, said nothing and continued to groan, covering his face with a hand. After a moment of trying to compose herself, Emma was the first one of the two to reply.

"O-Okay, Dad, I can explain. Killian wanted to see the representation of himself from here in this world so I showed him the Disney Peter Pan movie," Emma finally replied, wiping tears from her eyes.

Killian dropped his hand from his face and grumbled again. "And it was the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. The Crocodile is a literal crocodile, Peter Pan is some kind of hero, and the worst thing of all is... they stripped me of my handsomeness! About the only damn thing they got right was Mr. Smee and he's not even the most important character! This movie makes me out to be a dim witted oaf and a laughing stock. Whoever wrote this shite must've had but half a brain!"

David couldn't help but allow a chuckle to escape his own lips. "O-Oh, well it sounds like you two had quite the evening--" He cut himself off, glancing over his shoulder when he could feel the presence of his wife lingering behind him. Ask them about the baby she mouthed, glaring at him.

Sheepishly, David turned back around and attempted to put on his stern father face. "But enough fun and games. I hope you weren't just goofing off and that you actually took care of Neal while we were out."

Emma smiled. "Oh relax, Dad, I wouldn't forget about my brother. He's just fine. I gave him a bottle earlier and he went right to sleep... even with how loudly Killian has been groaning, Neal never even woke up once."

David's expression softened. "Oh, that's good to hear, right Snow?" he questioned, pulling his wife beside him.

The princess smiled. "Alls well that ends well. Thanks for you help, Emma. You're more than welcome to go home now."

Emma nodded and stood up, leaving her pirate behind on the couch so she could hug her parents. "Yeah, well, it was no big deal. Just let me know if you ever need me to watch him again. I'd be more than happy to help."

"Alls well that ends well my ass," Killian grumbled in the background. "Bloody hell, in this realm I'm still a laughing stock."

Emma wandered back over to her man and grabbed his hand, helping him stand up. "Oh, don't sulk over it. It's only a movie. Besides, even if they had gotten your character right, there's no way they would've been able to capture..." she paused to lean against him and fiddle with the collar of his coat in a flirty manner. "...all of your charm, good looks, and stunning blue eyes." Emma then kissed him on the cheek and nuzzled him with her nose, seeming to instantly perk Hook right up.

He wrapped an arm around her waist and looked into her eyes. "Mm, tell me more--"

"Okay, you two that's enough! Out, out, out! Your mother told you that you could go home now!" a very testy papa bear fumed in the background, sticking his arm between Emma and Hook before pushing them toward the door. Snow only laughed at David's gesture.

"Oh, Charming, don't be so dramatic. They've flirted in front of you a thousand times and it never bothered you before."

"Those times we were either in danger or busy with something else so I didn't really have time to be a true father," he replied after shoving the couple out of his apartment. "It's what a man does," he said, trying to puff out his chest.

Snow poked at his chest to deflate it and laughed. "Right, right, if you say so," she said in disbelief before heading over to check on her baby again.