But! Even if open relationships aren't for me, what I see in good eyes are polyamorous relationships. I'd like one. I have lots of love to give, and like to be loved, and to have a relationship with more than two people where we all love each other and are into each other sounds great for me. I still don't think I could pull it off. I'm very insecure, and I think I'd always be worried about my partners preferring each other and leaving me to be together alone. But if I ever get over my insecurity and low self esteem, it's something I'd like to try. ((How does a couple go about finding a third person though? I don't even know how to get a boyfriend/girlfriend, I didn't go actively looking for the one I'm with now, so I can't even figure out how to look for a second one.))
A polyamorous relationship, in my opinion, is built upon good bonds. I think it particularly works between two couples (making it a menage a quatre, ha) though a menage a trois is equally sound. I think it gets crazier the more people you add. I don't actually know, but logic, when it comes to multiple people, tends to dictate chaos = quantity.
So, I don't think you go seeking someone out to form a polyamorous relationship, it's more of a... I want to say
click. You just find that person or couple and you think, "If I weren't in a relationship already, I'd definitely fall in love with this person or these people," or you feel yourself being romantically pulled to them, whether you classify that as falling in love is up to you (I'd say it is, but I'm also a romantic at heart; which is funny because I don't find sex to be quite all that) and I suppose that's something for the three or four or more of you to discuss with each other. If you find yourself overcoming your own insecurities and anxieties, I'd definitely discuss the option with whomever you're in a relationship with and then afterwards be open to the people you meet. Whether you want to go in from the beginning, form a romantic relationship from the start, or make it a slow climb is definitely both of your prerogatives.
As Friedrich Nietzsche once said, "you do you, I do me, there's no right way to do something." Ah, he said it a lot better, but you get the gist.
