"On-line" Dating

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Blind Hemingway

Ancient Iwaku Scum from 2006.
Original poster
Posting Speed
  1. Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
Writing Levels
  1. Adept
  2. Douche
Preferred Character Gender
  1. Primarily Prefer Female
Surrealism, Surreal Horror (Think Tim Burton), Steampunk, Sci-Fi Fantasy, Spaghetti Westerns, Mercenaries, Dieselpunk, Cyberpunk, Historical fantasies
If there is one thing I've started noticing as an increase on various forums I visit, it is members of opposite genders claiming that they are going out merely because they flirt with each other on Skype or MSN. They never actually meet each other in real life since they are separated by 1000s of miles.

Do you guys really consider this a real form of dating?

If it is, has it actually worked out for you?

So long as the feelings expressed are real and both parties are committed I consider it to be as valid as any other form of relationship.

It took a lot of guts to ask cor out, and the euphoria that followed was genuine and all consuming, and I;d be crushed if we separated, whats not real about that?
I've been dating Ryk for 4-5 years. BOOYAH!
-deep breath- Ok. If I say I'm going out with someone, no matter how many miles between me and that person, you better bet your ass I consider it to be the same thing as if they lived right down the road from me. I take it seriously and was actually pissed off with the stupid "area code rule" when I heard it.

Its not for everyone...but hell yes it works if your determined for it to do so.
While I respect the feelings of the posters above, and I wish them nothing but the best of luck in their respective relationships, allow me to say this:

I don't think it can work.

I've been there, done that. There's just too much a relationship needs that an on-line relationship can't bring to the table. Sure, there can come a time when you can see each other in person, elevating things, but... Until one or both of you are ready to commit to full-out moving to be with each other on a more permanent basis, then...

Well, yeah.

Basically, until you're actually dating in person, I'm on the default of "NOT GOING TO WORK." Relationships barely work in person now-a-days, imagine the extra pot-holes and speed-bumps that come with long-distance dating?!
D: I can't do anything else.

But no, I don't. That'd be the final straw.
Kinda have to agree with Seiji. I'm not saying it can't work, but it's much more challenging. My experiences with it have been lackluster.

My first failed from attempting to make it into a "see you regularly" relationship. My second failed because of stress put on by the fact that they weren't there with me seeing what I was going through on a day to day basis. You can make it work, but again, it's much more challenging.

And at least in my case, I'm a touchy-feely person. I can tell someone how I feel all day long, but eventually it just sort of rings hollow. I have to physically be there with someone to truly express how I care for them, doing stupid little things like leaning up against them and such.

That said, I believe it can work if both people want it (and are willing to go through copious amounts of shit to keep it) and there are many fine success stories out there to back up the same.
*Looks at thread.*

*Looks at Gibs.*

4 years of living together in real life. We met on my own Website and knew each other for years before we ever actually started dating.

Online dating CAN work out just fine!

...but I STILL don't recommend it. .__.; Unless you're old enough, have monies, and can close in the long distance online dating SUCKS. So if you can't close the gap within a year, it kinda feels like pining away for something you're not likely to ever have for reals.

It's seriously not any different from other kinds of dating, but you HAVE to have some way to hookup in person often or you're missing out on all the GOOD stuff about having a significant other. x_x
The thing about you and Gibs though, Didi, is that you totally did EXACTLY what I say the exception requires! You two made a step to make things REAL, you moved in together, and... it's worked so far!

So while it can and does work, it takes a lot for it to do so. Diana lays it out pretty well: it takes a lot of maturity, money, and a WHOLE LOT of dedication. The couple MUST take steps within that first year. At the very least, work towards taking those steps, or... Well, honestly, no use keeping it going.
One relationship, three one-night stands, one stalker.

It's a play-by-numbers game.
I think it can work.
I'm not going to say more on the matter presently.
Now, I don't think the couple should take a year and decide to move in together that fast. My year with Mosaic is tomorrow and he's still in school and I'M still in school (least til May). When the hell are we gonna move in together? Tomorrow? Lol, obviously not. Even though steps have not been reached or started, at least the IDEA of living together is there. And THAT should be the first step within a year.

On-line dating can and cannot work. I say this because there's a line between this on-line dating thing. It can work when the couple decides to take it off online and make it physical. You met the person, you enjoy their company, you enjoy the intimacy/lust/passion, and eventually fall in love. There's a chance of it not working when it's strictly on-line, there's no physical contact, you just talk on the phone/skype/etc., you rely on just phone/cyber sex, things like that. I mean, it CAN work, but there's always that chance of it not working because it does get boring after awhile.

While Mos lives in South Carolina and I live in New York, sure there's some things we have to rely on-line. We skype, we talk online, we talk on the phone constantly, but at least we are both making the effort to visit each other when given the chance (i.e: he's visiting me for my graduation and I'm staying with him for two weeks in the summer). That is what's important in the on-line dating category--if you REALLY like that person, you better make efforts to see them. The expense of plane tickets or other bullshit should NEVER be an excuse. You do what you can to see that person and Mosaic has proven this to me.

As much as my parents tell me to take the relationship with a grain of salt (they think it won't last), Mosaic and I have the initiative to make it work. And I think both persons should have this motivation if they really want their relationship to be successful and fulfilling. :)

tl;dr: Online dating can and cannot work, it really depends on the person's level of motivation to see the significant other. Hurr hurr
I believe that online dating can most definitely work. It just requires that extra step that Danana and Seiji mentioned. You can't just type messages or video chat with that person-You have to at least MAKE an attempt to visit them. If anything, it'll show him/her just how dedicated you are to the relationship, and that's definitely a good thing. It IS hard, however. Trust plays a huge part in it, as well. If you can't trust your partner to be faithful, or vice versa, that relationship is most likely going to fail. Plain and simple.
I always thought I had a sexually tense broseph relationship with Torsty.
one stalker.

Wait... only one stalker?

Anywho can it work? Yep... can and has...

Can on-line dating fail horribly? Yep... can and has...

Just like with any relationships, it can be a royal pain to keep up. Moreso since it also doubles as a long distance relationship.

The definition of real dating depends on what the societal definition of dating is, and society is always changing. I personally would say that it is a form of real dating. However, like others have said, at somepoint down the grapevine you'll have to make the effort and actually meet each other face to face. If you can't do that, then there isn't any point in calling it a relationship.
My last boyfriend I met online and dated for about 4 years. I think it can work, given the right people and the right circumstances. I believe that in certain cases, the distance can even help until you can manage to get to a place where you can live together or are able to move closer to each other at least. In my past experience, it's helped me when I had school stuff to attend to and so did he. Yes, we went about our lives and got things done, but that just made the time that we talked all the more awesome.

Yes, there is that physical aspect that a relationship needs, but until you can GET that, I think that if a couple can survive being apart from each other for so long, that they belong together in the first place. I'm sure my school of thought is one of many, but that's how I feel about it. <3
However, like others have said, at somepoint down the grapevine you'll have to make the effort and actually meet each other face to face. If you can't do that, then there isn't any point in calling it a relationship.

Agreed. Without actually meeting said person in the flesh it is not a intimate relationship. Sure the feelings may be real but not the same as actually dating someone.
Alright. I've read both opinions; and I think that if the two people consider everything to be perfectly real then good on them. If they share and express the same emotions then that's their business. I do consider, even though you're thousand of miles away, or maybe even the next state over, or province, that you can date someone. It doesn't matter how far away you are, or where you're at, race, nationality or gender; you're still human and you still share the same emotions and or feelings that the other person shares then there's no reason that you can't date.

Flirting on the other hand, is just flirting. There's nothing really big about it. But when the emotions start flaring up on one side, and not the other; you'd better make sure that- that other person realizes that it's just playful banter and nothing else. Otherwise, someone could get hurt; and you're not internationally meaning it. But be prepared that when and if you and the other party do meet, that you may not click. So in the end, it's a push and shove. You can take it seriously, or you don't. It's really up to the people involved in the situation; not anyone else.
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