Old School Avatar Captions

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Original poster
Ok, this is a twist on the classic Caption Above User's Avatar game. This time, not only do you haveto caption the above user's avatar, but it must be in Old English, or at least do your best to make it sound like Old English. GO!
Dearith Sirs, dost thou smelleth mine stench? *trollface*
Unclean xenomorph, I believe thou didst not readeth thine rules lain out so pristine by the noble TNT.
But bloody, what meal through yonder ocean swims?
It is the feast, and you is the main course.
Arise, fair seal, and kill the envious surfer,
Who is already sick and pale with grief
That thou, her prey, art far more tastier than she.
This is how I roll! With Glass visors and headphones!
Oi Sir! ye musn't be out this time o' noight sir.
Yeah I'll shove this fist so far up your arse you'll be tasting powerfist.