Ok, WTF

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Immortal_Chaos

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Welcome to the WTF Story Thread! In this, we will have a really weird, abnormal, unnatural, funny, and generally mind fuckingness. It won't necessarily make any sense whatsoever.
So, anyway, I will be your evil person for today, until something defeats me. Then I will reappear as something else. Feel free to be evil too if you want to. AND I also play some NPC's

RULES!
1. General Iwaku Rules
2. This is for any user of Iwaku to see. Dont get to explicit

"Come Bob!" Inkling yelled at a small doll house. Nothing happened. Suddenly the house disappeared as a large gelatinous slime gulped down its meal. Inkling gently patted it on the head. "Good Bob," he said. Bob came from an unknown species, and seems to be the only one of whatever-the-frick he was. Bob also dislikes swear words. Bob likes food. Inkling suddenly realised that Bob was using his mental skills to hijack the post. Bob stopped. They both defy physics and float out the door. Inkling smiled at a gasping child holding tight to a tattered teddy bear. "Remember to say no to gravity," Inkling told her, in a serious tone. The teddy bear randomly spontaneously combusts as they fly away, making the girl break into tears.
 
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Hocolkey (this name is brought to you by auto correction )cursed the name of the great and tiny bob(she wqs almost positive he was the ring leader)she through the remains of her Teddy bear Rupert who she won in a bet against a fat guy at the age of three(who can say the alphabet first A B C....the alphabet)she looted her breakfast tables where's she hoped to find Excalibur but sadly only found king arthur stapled to a chair leg.he asked to be set free,Hocolkey didn't know what to do. So she went to ask...One of her friends
@anyone
 
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Nexx I-don't-give-my-characters-last-names-if-I-can-help-it the escaped mental patient lay sleeping in a nearby trash can, his legs dangling out. He tiredly pulled his self up and out of the can to see his freind Hocolkey. Their meeting was destined by Those-Who-I'm-Too-Lazy-To-Name he gathered. "Have the fruit-flys finally come for me?!" He asked her frightfully.
 
No just bats and ozzys got them handled... by the by you never did tell me how tlyou escaped the first batch of fruit flies. you said said something about hidden valley
 
"They chased me for a few days, then the world split in two and I fell though the valley. While I was falling I found this awesome catsup bottle." Nexx reached into his trash can and brought out two things. A moldy hotdog and, on a lighter note, a very Excaliburish glowing sword. He flipped it upside down, grabbing the blade and squeezed. Something red dripped onto his hotdog so Nexx concluded that it was catsup. He swallowed the dog and got up out of the trash can and looked down at Hocolkey. "So... What's the problem?"
 
Zozo enters and immediately leaves the store. "Not emough fruit." He continues to walk toward the abyss and enters hyperdimension Y. There, he sits down and smokes.
 
You do realize that's not catsup..
Its hot sauce...
Hay do you smell gamma smoke3 (gay for auto correct.. .. Y a y not gay)
 
Inkling strutted into the grocery store as if he was royalty... Which in fact he almost convinced himself that he was. The gelatinous slime followed with a blank expression, then glancing at a carrot, and without a moments hesitation, snapping it up. Inkling looked over to a random woman shopping and winked, failing horribly at a hair flick. The anti-social, depressed shopper glared back at him, wishing him to die. This was normal activity between the average grocery shopper, but Inkling was terrified. He shrunk back, hitting the box of carrots and making the pile tumble onto the floor. Bob, with its normal blank expression, turned to the woman as he floated at head level. The woman gasped and her eyes twinkled as she quickly fell for the green slime, and she collapsed onto her knees. Bob then continued to gorge up the the pile of carrots as a security guard turned the corner. Inkling watched in horror, wondering if you could get arrested for knocking carrots onto the ground.
"Hey, what are -" the gruff security man started, then stopped suddenly, looking at the empty box and the gelatinous slime. In the moments of silence, Bob quickly sucked into his mouth a piece of carrot that was on the side of it, and burped. "Aww, look at the cute creature! I guess nothing happened after all!" the security guard said, as you could see his eyes sparkle pink. Inkling stood back, fuming in jealousy as the two cooed and cared for his pet, instead of him
 
Nexx spun around and pointed his catsup bottle at a random person, then moved it slightly to point at the actual person that was smoking. "You sir!" He ran over to the smoking guy and pointed to a stop sign. "This is a no smoking area! Please eat your cigarette."
 
"Bloody catsup throwers!". The shopkeeper took out his laser pointer and burned away the liquid. He scooped up the resulting ash as well as the broken glass from the bottle with his bare hands and crushed them together. "I wish I had a nickel for every diamond I've created around here." he said as he tossed the gem into the barrel at the end of the aisle marked "Pickles".
 
As they slowly traversed the small grocery shop, a crowd grew around Bob. By the time Inkling had come back to buy some watermelons and carrots, every single person was swarming around him, eyes twinkling and sparkling as they fed the gelatinous slime all sorts of foods, and Bob clearly enjoyed it.
"ENOUGH!" Inkling yelled at everyone. The grocery store quietened down. "Why are you all doing that over a simple slime? Come Bob, let's go away from these pesky mortals," Inkling continued angrily. The gelatinous slime was obviously straining all the mental power it had, well that wasn't a lot but still. Bob glanced to the dazzled crowd holding food. Tasty. Bob glanced to Inkling. He had never disobeyed before. Crowd. Inkling. Crowd. Inkling. Crowd. Inkling. Bob glumly floated over to Inkling as shouts arose from the crowd.
"Hey!"
"What?
"Come back Bob!"
"Don't deprive us of our Bob time!"
The shouts slowly died down as they left the store and went back home, where they went into deep hibernation

(SAD FACE! Going camping for 7 days so continue without me)
 
The smell of pepper based products splattered across the wall attract the attention of extraterrestrial pepper-sucking vampires from outer space. Upon arrival they inspect the damage. "Who dares desecrate the most sacred of our sacrifices?. You have one minute to respond!" One of the soldier vampires whispers in his leader's ear and the leader corrects himself. "One space minute!".
 
The gelatinous slime quickly sneaked out of the deep hibernation to see the liquid nitrogen close around Inkling, slowling him down into statis. Bob hovered away back to the supermarket, where he accidentally knocked a pepper container. The humans slowly began swarming around him, and as he heard the pepper sucking vampires from outer space, he shrunk behind the crowd as they all stepped forward simultaneously exclaiming that is was they who had desecrated the pepper jar
 
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