Now not to drive a Jeep

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Blind Hemingway, Jun 29, 2010.

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  2. rory, gimme your badge and your gun.

  4. You're off the force, Rory.
  6. I'm tired of your CARP, hutch.
  8. Helen


    As soon as she tells me to just breathe, that's the moment where I start to have trouble getting oxygen in and carbon dioxide out. I am glancing at her with near wild eyes, lips parted in worry. "D-demi I have to help you. I don't want you to prick yourself accidentally, oh God what if you bleed more..." She proceeds to grin at me and I make one of the only faces I don't think I have ever made in a long time. Eyebrow raised, lips parted at one side and nearly sticking at the other, with eyes slightly narrowed as I raise my hands in the air in near defeat. It's what Charlie likes to call

    'The Fuck do you Mean' glance. The glance of confusion followed by absolute disappointment or concern that is laced with annoyance. I am not sure which one it is, but I am fairly certain that the ' The Fuck do you Mean' is written all over my face. Demi should be fully aware that I am just not going to let her hand a possible injury by herself. Even if it means swallowing down some nausea in order to clean up the blood.

    "I can't just stay here while you are bleeding! Are you nuts to think I would just sit back and drink hot cocoa while you are trying to fix up your wound?" Besides, if I had been as strong as Demi is neither of us would have been injured in the first place. I consider everything that happened to Demi then to be a burden that deserved to rest upon my shoulders.

    As Demi is walking out I think I become angry. Is it anger? No, it's irritation. It's the irritation that I have when Logan or Charlie doesn't listen to me. I want to command her to stop, to not feel any pain while I clean up her wound and then I realize something. Commanding Demi to do something she doesn't want to do is the exact same thing as my...nightmare telling me to do what he wants when I didn't want it. I might as well be back in that bed. Demi might as well feel scarred that I force her to do what I want.

    Man, that dumbass of a an ex lover was really rubbing off on me wasn't he? Soon enough I will be wanting to force...

    My stomach churns and my throat turns sour. I will not. God. I don't want to think about that...I do no...bad lip trembles as I watch her, ashamed of myself and what I wanted to do right then, but I blink in shock as Pen grabs her by her shirt and insists she is going to help her.

    I guess Pen's got more balls than me.

    I see Demi's face as they start to leave and I give her an encouraging smile, nearly shaking with that thought etched into my head.

    You might as well force her to do anything you just like him...hurt her just like...

    Happy thoughts happy thoughts.

    You can force them to do whatever you...

    Happy thoughts happy...

    You can threaten them if they resist...tell them to shut up if they...

    The happy thoughts are reduced to shambles all over the floor. I feel sick. I cover my mouth with my hand and take a shattering breath. Why do such bad thoughts pester me like this? I don't want to do any of what my thoughts tell me. I don't know why I have such bad thoughts. I don't like them. They are mean and scary and damn it all I don't like them.

    I turn to Cyrus and Nellie, my lips still shielded by the palm of my hand. I feel like I could get sick.
  9. *Edited by God for breaking 9 out of the 10 Commandments*
  10. -Rams slyen through a fruit stand-