Notes to Self

Asmodeus

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If your moods swing as frequently as mine do, this thread could help.


Write a message to yourself. One that you truly mean. A message that you don't want to forget, no matter what the days ahead bring. And when you read this message again, know that it was the truth.





My first one:

Write the book. All else is fleeting. Finish it. If something gets in the way, jump past it. Finish the book.
 
sound adivce.

i think i shall take it up.

My first message:
Get a job already, no more of this prancing around pretending to get one crap.
you need the money, work = money, thus get a job.
 
DO NOT JOIN MORE THAN TWO RPs AT A TIME.

And if anyone else reads this: DO NOT LET THEZEROSYSTEM JOIN YOUR RP IF SHE'S ALREADY IN TWO. There will be a tag on her signature stating if she's accepted/active in an RP already.

I mean it this time. No more getting overloaded and pulling a vanishing act on everyone. Undue guilt only counter-acts the effects of your medication.
 
i think i'll have to agree with the "do not spread yourself too thin" advice.

and also, don't get too distracted by... hmm.. *sees another link and clicks it* what the hell am i saying? O_o
 
Remember the walk to the car with Rob, Miles and Chris. Remember the silence and how nothing more was needed.


Remember yesterday - the drive to the hardware shops. Your conversation never faultered. Your character was clear.


Remember how women have pursued you - it's not all in your head. They've seen something and they've wanted it.


Remember that year, and how you soared so high.
 
You are a good writer.

You only suck when you sit in that house and stare at the walls.

Get out, every day. And write that fucking book.
 
Go to Home Depot. Pick up trays for outdoor plants presently on newspaper.

Replace light strand on metal reindeer.

Masturbate less often.

Call that Army guy and ask what he wanted.
 
Enough of this crying and running to 003 every time everything bad happens, just focus on trying to survive this semester, This is not hopeless. It's just something unprecedented. Get past it. Get through it.

It's ok that Jon's not answering. Thing'll turn out fine, they always do. There may be a few scares, but I doubt he'll acctually drop that far...

CLEAN THE GODDAMN ROOM! JESUS! The entire room is strewn with clothing and food, the flies are REALLY getting aannoying, STOP BEING LAZY!
 
Don't feel guilty. You did what you had to do and you ARE happier now. You can't lift the world up with you.
 
Crying isn't going to do anything but bring you down more. Stop it. Realize that you're nowhere near as bad of a person as she is making you out to be, and just don't let the people she is telling this shit to see that in you.

It's not true.

None of it.

You don't steal. There is nothing you did wrong. You used YOUR money to get yourself food, not hers. It was a lie. Notice how she doesn't say this stuff when you're around? Because she doesn't want to get caught. Sure, you forgot to give the change back from lunch when you first got home, but you didn't plan on keeping it, and she knows it. She just wants to make you look bad for her benefit.

You know that you would gladly get up and go shopping with her. You know that you weren't sleeping until two in the afternoon, and that is all that matters. You know you were up. The only reason you didn't go anywhere was because SHE didn't want to go. SHE is the lazy one, not you.

What the hell? You know you're not greedy. You didn't ask to take her blanket so you could be warm, there was already a cover on the bed. Another lie you have to get past. You would never ask for someone else's blanket when you have one that is just as good.

Actually eating at the table is YOUR habit. And a GOOD habit to have. SHE doesn't do it, so why in the hell would anyone believe that she had to FORCE you to do it? That's bullshit! You and her both know she didn't say anything but 'goodnight' to you when you went downstairs to eat. She didn't care. The only reason she cares now is because she ran out of things to lie about. Forget it. Get over it. Let it go.

Only until June. That's all you have left. You'll be leaving soon. No one can get you in California. Bite your tongue and deal, or grow a pair and say something. Mom can't do anything from three hours away. Stop. Crying.
 
Life's always better with a smoke and beer.

Do more of the two.
 
Stop waiting for Neng to start thinking about improving yourself. Get on your feet and get shit done already.

Clean room. Needs to be done.

Need a job. After new years, you need to start looking again.

Can't hide behind Kayla and mom's disabilities forever. Need to start living again.
 
Honestly, stop surrounding yourself with stupid, ignorant people. Your better than that and your NOT the only one who sees it.
 
Remember that when you stared him down HE flinched.

Not you.

He isn't coming back.

You have a knife in the drawer, guns all over the house if you cared to learn to use one, and a large, loud, and loyal dog who loves you to bits. You don't HAVE to cling to your husband's shirt tails. The boy needs a life.

You had a spine once. Where did it go? You faced down the man who taught you everything you ever believed in and you held ground. You will not be ruled by a phantom of memory. You're stronger than that, damn you!
 
Walking around with a hard on isn't so funny, find something funnier, maybe socks in underwear.
 
Just because its a new school doesn't mean you have to be afraid to ask. There's nothing wrong with being uninformed, but there's something wrong with being ignorant.

So just ask. No one is going to eat you alive.
 
Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Jon's gonna be ok. Dan's an ass.

Put both out of your head and study. Clean your room. Sing along to music....

Take a shower. Try and get hold of Brittnay, try and get that night out tonight.

Draw. Draw. Draw. Don't "Mew" or "Mur" in threads.

Try and get along with family. Really. Try.

Don't cry. Don't cry. Everything's going to be fine. Don't fall apart. Don't give in. Call Mr. P.

Don't think of drinking. Don't drink. Don't even drink wine with family tonight. You can't handle it tonight.

Snuggle Murphy. It's a good stress reliever. He's a good dog today. Take him for a walk.

Don't cry. Don't be depressed. Don't drink. Don't think about the nightmare you had last night. Don't think about her.

Call Kai, you need to talk to her.

DON'T FUCKING CRY.
 
It's not selfish to want to have enough money to pay bills and still have a little left over for something nice. You can't take care of others if you don't first take care of yourself.