Well, here comes a "emo" thread. I've been into art since I was in fifth grade, drawing, painting, writing, taking pictures, everything, really. I'm out of school now, I'm 18 years old, almost 19. And tonight, at this moment, I've decided to give up art. Most everything. I might write or take pictures still, but I'm not sure. Before, I loved art. It was my escape, my way to express myself. But lately, I've just been hating it- I feel like I should have gotten so much better by now. I feel like I've barely improved since middle school. It's so frustrating, and I lose my patience easily with it- and I hate it. It makes me angry. I can't seem to do it right lately, and I just feel like I need to quit. Instead of helping me escape life, it makes me angry and annoyed with everything. Besides that, I'm a total fucking loser. I didn't graduate, I dropped out in 11th grade, I STILL don't have my GED, and I have no job. I live with my mom, I can't drive, and I have anxiety, depression, OCD, high blood pressure, and some anger issues. And on top of all that, I'm fat. I feel like a total reject, someone who shouldn't even be alive. I hate everything at the moment, I feel so angry and suffocated I want to just shoot myself. I used to be a cutter, and I feel like cutting myself again, just to maybe release some of the anger. Or something. I'm way too angry and depressed. Nothing helps except music. And I snap at everyone, for no reason usually. I'm just. so. angry. My boyfriend is irritating me beyond belief lately, and I can't stand him. I love him, but fuck. Also, everything seems to be screwing up lately, which adds to my anger. Like my laptop- my boyfriend spilled water on the mouse pad, so it broke. So we're using a USB mouse, and it's fucked up now too. It scrolls up and down on it's own. And my phone likes to stay stuck in side mode, and click random shit. It's a brand new phone. I don't know- JUST EVERYTHING IS MAKING ME SO ANGRY. god. Also, I learned I have to have surgery again for endometriosis, I had it a year ago, and had surgery, and now it's back. I just hate everything. I'm sorry you had to read this. I just needed to get it out there.