Not Him!

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EquinoxSol

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That afternoon, Ezra had pulled on his Robin costume, thinking himself quite the dapper sidekick. Smiling at himself in the mirror, he sprayed in the temporary hair dye, until you couldn't see a trace of blonde.

Once he was completely ready, he took a picture of himself in the mirror before heading out of his apartment, already excited for the party. This Halloween was sure to be a spectacular one, Ezra was sure of it.
 
Erza and Robby had argued in length about who would be Batman and who would be Robin.
"Robby your name actually is Robin though!!"
"Yeah well I'm taller than you!"
"But I'm older!"
"Ez do you really wanna see these hairy ass legs in spandex undies?"
"... fair point."

All in all is was a rather amusing discussion that ended with Robby being Batman and Erza being Robin. Robby couldn't say he wasn't necessarily displeased with the outcome, after all, he was going to get to see Ezra in what were pretty much booty shorts. Robby checked his makeup in the rear view mirror. He was only wearing some black face paint around his eyes where the mask didn't cover. It wasn't like... lipstick or anything. Robby was queer but he wasn't that queer. Nobody even knew he was gay anyway, and Robby was pretty sure that wearing makeup would be a bit of a red flag. He huffed before struggling to pull his phone out of his pocket. Damn these leather pants were tight. Surely Batman didn't fight crime in these... Oh well, they made his butt look nice and that's all that really mattered.

Robby shot Ezra a text.
"im outside ur apartment, get out here loser the meters running"
Robby, of course, had no intention of making Ezra pay gas money for a ride to a Halloween party. Robby leaned back in his chair and turned the radio on as he waited for his sidekick.
 
Ezra got Robby's text as he locked his apartment door. Smiling down at his phone, he texted back, Yeah, whutevah, bruh. Ezra always talked like that when he was trying to get on Robby's nerves, and as he walked down the stairs, he tried to tug down the skin-tight shorts some. He was embarrassed by how short they were, and was certain that Robby had bought them in the children's section at the Halloween store. Ezra was skinny, but not child-size. Running his fingers through his hair, he sighed before leaving the building and seeing Robby sitting in his car. Waving, he hopped into the passenger seat and smiled at Robby. "Hey, Batman. Nice costume..." He looked Robby up and down, enjoying the view while he simultaneously tried to hide how pale his legs were.

"Let's go."
 
Robby snorted and started the engine.
"Dude did you shave your legs or are they just naturally that hairless?" he asked, playfully pinching Ezra's thigh, "Also nice touch with the hair coloring, is it permanent?"

Robby had to admit Ezra looked pretty amazing in those tiny shorts. Picking up child sized shorts for Ez was the best idea ever. Tonight was going to be hilarious and Robby couldn't wait for all the fun they were going to be having. Daniel Scott said he was going to dress up in one of those sexy cat costumes for kicks. Robby didn't actually believe he'd do it, but boy that sure would be a sight to see.
 
"Ow! Ass!" Ezra snapped as Robby pinched his thigh. "And no, the hair coloring isn't permanent...I'm not brave enough to do something like that." However, he had shaved his legs. He didn't think that the actual Robin was even old enough to have hair on his legs, but Ezra didn't like how he looked in the shorts with hairy legs.

Running his hands along his legs, he said, "Turn the heater on. It's way too cold for shorts tonight..."
 
Robby rolled his eyes, even though it was hard to see behind the mask. He flipped on the heat when they reached a stop sign.
"Man my hair is going to be majorly fucked up...." he sighed, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he waited for an opening, "if it's anything like my hat hair I'll probably keep the mask on all night."
Robby was notorious for having the most hilarious hat hair in existence. His fluffy brown locks would immediately stick up at the slightest tousle, giving him a permanent raggamuffin hairstyle. Most mornings he would wake up looking like a dandelion, but only a few people have had the pleasure of seeing this natural phenomenon, Ezra being the most frequent. The boys practically spent every weekend together, playing video games, watching shitty horror flicks, that kinda thing.
The house party wasn't too far away, so they arrived very quickly. Despite the party only starting half an hour ago, it was already in full swing. Music could be heard from the street and decorations littered the lawn in humorous displays, such as two skeletons set up to look like they were pole dancing. The party was being thrown by theatre kids, so Lord only knows what else was in store.
 
When they arrived at the house, Ezra got out of the car, smiling at the skeletons arranged in front of the house. As he began to walk to the door, he almost reached for Robby's hand, forgetting who he was with: Robby, the straightest man alive. Hearing the music, he said, "Oh, man, I love this song!" He sped up, and soon was walking into the house, moving his hips to the beat. One of the first things he did when he got inside was get a drink, and he smiled at everyone.

Indeed, Daniel Scott was dressed in a sexy cat costume, and Ezra gave him a high five as he walked passed, trying not to imagine Robby in it. Quickly finishing his first drink, Ezra found Robby and said, "C'mon, Batman! Let's take shots!"
 
Robby laughed and followed behind his sidekick. Totally completely the straightest guy there. Yes sir 100% heterosexual and not for a moment noticing how nice Ezra's ass was in those shorts. Not one bit. Robby snorted to himself and kept his eyes on Ezra's butt. He could totally look, he just couldn't get caught. However this was not the greatest moment to focus on his best friend's behind, no matter how nice it was, considering when the boy wonder stopped, the dark knight didn't notice and bumped into Ezra. Oops.
"Sorry," he mumbled, taking a seat at the counter, reaching forward to grab the nearest bottle of booze. Damn these pants were tight. Well at least if he got a boner no one would notice, though he might lose circulation to his junk.
 
Ezra sat down next to Robby, grabbing a couple shot glasses from next to the bottles of booze. "Let's do three each for now, then we can take some pictures, okay?" Ezra said, shouting over the music. Without waiting for an answer from Robby, he poured Jack Daniel's into the two glasses, and quickly drank from his own.

Grinning widely, he licked his lips, already feeling looser and less tense than he had been. "If you pass out, then I'm writing all over your face," Ezra said, smiling, even though he was more likely to pass out first.
 
Robby scoffed and knocked back his shot.
"We both know you're the lightweight here," he said, scooting his empty shot glass towards Ezra for a refill. A girl dressed up as a zombie opened up the fridge and shrieked when a fake dismembered hand fell to the ground. The kitchen erupted with laughter and the girl huffed before giggling a bit herself. Robby fiddled with one of the tiny pumpkins on the counter.
"Tiny pumpkins are probably the most important kind of squash in the world...." he said, spinning it by its stem, "I mean, there tiny and orange but unline baby carrots they aren't lying pieces of shit that are actually just shaved down versions of the big version." Robby had a vendetta against baby carrots ever since he found out they didn't actually come out of the ground that way. Fucking baby carrots. Just regular carrots disguised as babies.
 
Ezra giggled as Robby explained how small pumpkins were so much better than baby carrots. "Whatever you say, Batman," he giggled as he poured another shot for both of them. Personally, Ezra liked baby carrots, but he wouldn't say that to Robby. "Just take another shot," he said as the laughing subsided around them. "You'll feel better." He knocked back his second shot, brushing his hair back. "Hot damn," he cursed, like be always did on his second shot. By the time Robby too his second shot, Ezra was swallowing his third, and was a bit woozy. He reached across the table, grabbing a handful of jack-o-lantern-shaped pretzels and eating them quickly.
 
Robby snorted upon hearing his friend's usual phrase.
"I swear to God, if you end up puking I'm gonna kill you," Robby said, swallowing his last shot, "especially if you end up puking on me"
He rested his elbow on the slightly sticky counter (gross) and watched Ezra scarf down snacks. Ezra usually got a killer case of drunchies when he was buzzed. It was kinda cute how he nibbled on pretzels like a hamster. Okay no it was really fucking adorable and a little pang of guilt hit Robby. Stupid Robby getting a crush on his straight best friend like giant loser.
 
"C'mon, Batman," Ezra insisted after he had finished his handful of pretzels. "Take your next shot! You've only had two!" He clumsily poured Robby another drink, spilling more than he actually got in the glass. Mumbling a curse, he simultaneously tried to mop up the mess with a paper towel and shove more pretzels into his mouth.

"Batman, you can't have your sidekick out-drink you! I'm, like, half your weight! Drink it, Batman!" He pushed the glass towards Robby, already pushing himself off of the chair. "Let's go dance or get our pictures taken or something," he said, his voice slurred a bit.
 
Oh God he was already wasted... Oh well. Robby knocked back his third shot and followed Ezra, determined to keep and eye on his butt him.
"Slow down there Ezra," Robby laughed, the buzz of the liquor relaxing him. He held onto Ezra's cape so he wouldn't lose his friend. A very drunk teenager could be heard horribly singing the Batman theme song as the pair entered the livingroom.


((have you seen Holy Musical B@tman????? Because you really should ))
 
Ezra grinned widely as he heard the horrible singing, and was about to lead Robby to a corner of the room where a game of beer pong was set up, but he stumbled and ended up falling onto one of the couches, taking Robby with him.

Beginning to laugh uncontrollably, he tried sitting up, but ended up pulling Robby more on top of him. "Dammit, Batman," he grumbled playfully, too drunk to notice how close they were.

((I haven't seen it before :$ is it good?))
 
A girl dressed a pirate procured a beer bottle and set it on the table.
"Who wants to play spin the bottle!?" she called, and immediately a group of teenagers hoping to hook up with somebody gathered around the coffee table. Robby snickered and flopped on top of his friend, playfully grinding his knuckles into the others hair. The best part of spin the bottle is that pretty much no one was recognizable with their costumes on.
 
Ezra smiled as they began playing Spin the Bottle. Sober, Ezra was gay, but after he'd had a few, he would make out with anyone, regardless of gender. As the bottle spun, it fell upon Ezra to give the first kiss to a handsome steampunk gentleman. Standing up, he shuffled over to his side, sitting beside him. His hand traveled around his neck, tangling in his hair before pressing his lips to his. He pulled away smiling before returning to his seat beside Robby. Soon, it was Robby's turn to spin the bottle, and Ezra watched it intently, his drunken mind hoping to see what Batman's lips felt like.
 
Robby couldn't help the growing pit of jealousy in his stomach as he watched the boys kissed. Of course Ezra was only allowing a guy to kiss him because he was a. wasted and b. it didn't mean anything. Robby sighed, might as well make out with someone right? He spun the bottle and watched as it landed on the girl dressed like Marilyn Monroe next to Ezra. Phew, that was a close one... Robby leaned over Ezra, placing his hand on the boy's knee for balance, before pressing his lips against the girl's. It felt nice Robby supposed. Her lipstick tasted a bit funny but it was nice all the same. The girl wrapped her arms around Robby's neck and deepened the kiss. Who wouldn't want to make out with a Batman in tight leather pants?
 
"Ew," Ezra commented, wrinkling his nose as Robby kissed the girl next to him. "Get a room, you two..." Reaching past Robby, he took his turn and spun the bottle, watching it silently as it turned around and around on the coffee table.

Finally, it came to a stop, pointing right at Robby, who was still making out with Marilyn Monroe. "Hey, Batman, look over here. It's my turn." He pulled Robby back by his cape, admittedly a little jealous that he seemed so happy to be kissing her. But of course. He was undoubtedly straight, and she was hot.

Still, Ezra just wanted Robby to kiss him once, so he could know if he liked it as much as he thought he would.
 
Robby made a strangled sound and he was pulled back. He wiped the smear of red lipstick off his lips and leaned into the couch cushion. Miss Monroe looked a little pissed at being pulled away from Batman, but a girl dressed as Audrey Hepburn pulled her towards the kitchen excitedly. Robby was still trying to the the lipstick off his lips. God what was this stuff made out of?? Super glue?? And it tasted gross, like clean dirt. How dirt could be clean Robby had know clue but that's what it tasted like and boy he did not like it. The three shots they had taken earlier was definitely affecting Mister Wayne. Clearly not as much as Robin over there, who seemed to be a little impatient. Robby snorted.
"Hey... Hey I just realized," he laughed, words slurred, "Robin's first name is Dick isn't it? Hah! Dick Grayson that's right!" Robby laughed some more before looking down at the table and seeing the bottle pointing to him. Oh shit. Robby's stomach clenched and he started laughing nervously. Whenever something awkward happened, Robby started laughing. It was more of a curse than a blessing. Once at a Christmas party they were playing truth or dare and Sarah Kling had to give him a lap dance and he could not stop laughing.
 
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