Not a Rant...

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Sir Kaltao, Jul 15, 2014.

  1. So I've been struggling with some things, and even though we have all this communication tech, I've been unable to talk to my best friend for advice purely because of scheduling issues.

    I saw Counseling and thought "Great! Maybe I can get these things off my chest, maybe get some input, and move on with RPing as it's all by now impeding my ability to be creative.

    But then I saw it is, with a few exceptions of course, mostly about "ranting and raving" and while I feel these things strongly, I by no means feel it so strongly to "rant and rave". But since there's no other avenue available to me, here it goes.

    I'm in a relationship. The basic details are thus: We are both 24, and equally hardworking individuals who enjoy the simple things in life. We share
    enough nerdy interests to know(kinda) what the other is saying when we talk nerdy.

    We generally have a good time together. We've had a few rough patches, but overcome them.

    But there's one thing that has been looming over our relationship: At the end of the day, she loves me more than I love her.

    I know it seems an odd, maybe even immature thing to say, but hear me out please.

    I enjoy my time with this woman. I have supported her in tough emotional times, and helped her to get some poisonous people out of her life. I would never do anything deliberately to harm her in any sense. Cuddles at bedtime are what keeps me going some days.

    And yet, if I'm being honest with myself, I don't need her in my life. I'm emotionally independent, and she just isn't. She has said, and I'm paraphrasing, "I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else."

    And I can't reciprocate those feelings. I can imagine spending my life with someone else, but also at peace with the reality of dying that beloved uncle who never had a wife and kids of his own. I will admit I'm as much at peace with an imagined future as any sentient being can be.

    So now I'm feeling it's unfair to continue a romantic relationship with her, given these facts about myself. I love her, but don't feel the same "soul mate" vibe as she does, and it's been really nagging at me. How do you even begin this kind of conversation?
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  2. Unrequired Love..

    That's how I see it. I mean, you 'love her'. But it's a different type of Love as I see from what you've wrote down so far.

    Bring such a topic in a future conversation, it will be difficult. Obviously if you know each other for a long time, You will have to speak about it.
    Relationships are always involving Two persons.^^

    Tell her how you Feel about it, as I know for myself, being emotionally attached sux pretty bad >:(

    Of course, you have to question yourself what You truly want and what's the reason you Hold On until now.

    How did you got to this conclusion after all this time?

  3. Why you are in the relationship?

    Ask yourself if the relationship is also benefiting you, or is it burdening you.

    Is your guilt rational? Is it impeding you from enjoying the relationship?

    Would you prefer being single?

    Ask yourself these questions before you talk to her about it.
  4. why dont you tell her to slow down.

    every heard the song wrecking ball. Sounds Like that is what she doing, She is Pushing her feelings onto you way to fast and you feel treatened cuse your not at the Point she is yet. give it time and explain to her that she needs to slow down a little.
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