Nobody ever told her its the wrong way(psychiatric hospital)

J

Jezibell

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((For signup and OOC go to http://www.iwakuroleplay.com/thread...g-way-psychiatric-hospital.30643/#post-807105))

My hands held tightly onto the piece of paper as I read over it over and over. My mind raced around as I thought about how my parents were doing this because they hated me and wanted me dead, I had always thought about them this way, but this proved it...I mean why else would I be going, I'm not insane! I reassured myself.

All hope drained from my mind and the usual despair began to creep and crawl within my brain as we got closer and closer to the hospital. I could feel small shivers running up and down my body as my brain completely shut down and I went in hysteria crying and screaming again like I had before a half an hour before. Why did they have to do this? They must hate me...They must be after me...I am NOT crazy! I thought and anger drew itself into my body.

Now I was crying and screaming so hard that I could barely breathe, my throat hurt, and redness began to grow into my dark tanned skin. I looked down to notice my nails, which had been bitten and cut down all the way, had somehow managed their way into my skin and small drops of blood began to slowly move down my arm.

I finally quieted down as we came up to the parking lot of the hospital. I could feel the darkness of the hospital flow around me, and began to think it must hold some dark evil power. My dad had to practically drag me out of the car as I tried to grab hold of the back of the seat and started screaming about how I didn't want to go, about how them must hate me and want me dead. Finally he managed to get me out and we walked towards the hospital, my body quivered every couple seconds. We came to the enterance and walked inside. I sat down across the room from my mom ,who had obviously been crying, and watched as my father went up to the lady at the front desk and handed her my information sheets. I felt like they were enrolling me in school almost, everyone here was so calm and normal about what was happening...I didn't understand.
 
"Ring around the roses . . . "

Skip, skip, skip skip,

"Pocket's full of posies . . . ."

My fire-red, pigtail braids bounced against my shoulders with each little hop as I skipped down the sterile hospital hallway.

"Ashes, ashes . . ."

My left arm was tucked around Beary so that his soft fuzzy head was positioned just under my chin. I loved the feeling of Beary's fur under my chin. I loved his beady black eyes, and his little black nose. I loved Beary. Mama had tied a blue ribbon around his neck for me this week. She always brought a new ribbon for his neck every week and took the old one away with her. Sometimes she would bring it back again. Any longer then a week and Elliot would use it to do something bad.

"We all fall DOWN!"

I giggled wildly as my last shouted word echoed off the empty walls, and raised my other arm, the one not holding Beary, in the air to spin around in a circle. Only to wince sharply and bring it down again. My knuckles were wrapped tightly in bandages. The doctors told me that Elliot had done that, Elliot had apparently punched a wall. They always tell me when Elliot does something Bad. They tell me it was Elliot so I know why I was punished. Just as long as it was Elliot. Elliot's ok.

Just as long as it wasn't her. I don't like Her.
 
I arrived at the hospital about a week ago.

The whole trip I was staring out the window, watching the world go by, trying to process the situation around me. When I got out of the vehicle, I looked at the massive building looming ahead, read the sign out front. I sighed heavily, assessing the situation. "Bishop to H8." I said. It was a dreaded place to be in a game of chess, in the corner. It meant you were trapped, with only a few moves you could make. And for a Bishop, it meant one way in, one way out. If you got blocked, there was no escape. I could have just moved through the pieces in my way, but in reality, the Rooks that guarded the exit would over power me in an instant. And so, here I stay.

As I sit in the commons room, playing another round of the game that has dominated my psychoses, I hear the voice of a girl singing an age old child's song. She was pretty, and rather nice, but the other two of her freak me out a little. "Queen to D6." I say to myself as she skips down the halls. I know what I'm saying, I always know. I think perfectly normal, but I speak only in chess. Damn this infernal game which has ensnared my soul and dragged me to the door of the Devil! I swipe my hand across the table, sending the board and pieces flying against the nearby wall. As the nurse come over to me to see what happened, I sigh, and begin to pick up the mess I made. If only people could translate what I say aloud to what it means in my head.

I have yet to find away to get out of this corner. Until then, I will sit here quietly and obey those who have me trapped. And I will play. And plot. And orchestrate.

"Pawn to E5."

((I for got to mention something about him in his bio. I'm going to edit that in.))
 
((Alright, I might change the bio so it adds in age and looks. Haha. I totally spaced out and forgot about those two things!))

I looked up when my father called my name, I grabbed my little bag with my three possessions in it and carried it up to the girl. I carefully took out the first thing, which was an old looking snow globe which I would stare at for hours when I started to panic, the second was a super soft blanket that I always slept with for comfort, and the third was a notebook and a pencil for drawing. I almost cried when the lady told me I couldn't have the pencil for safety reasons, she would have probably let other people bring a pencil, she obviously had something against me for this stupid rule. I sighed and gave the notebook and pencil to my dad before taking the blanket and snow globe back to my seat.

"Alright you are all set, I'll have someone show you around." The lady said calling another caretaker into the room. The caretaker made a gesture for me to follow him and I did. He guided my through the huge hospital showing me where everything was. He showed me where the kitchen was, where the sleeping room would be for me, where to go when I wanted to be outside or be alone, all 6 bathrooms, and finally where everyone was right now which was a giant room with a glass roof and different activities inside of it.
 
Violet sat across from the door in a large room, the sun from above beating down on her blonde hair. Her jacket was around her elbows and her knees were pulled up under her chin. Her music played through a small wireless earpiece. They'd taken away her headphones, saying she couldn't use them anymore. When a new girl walked in, She shrunk against the wall. She tilted her head a little as a new girl came in. New person...aww...she's so young... Her hands curled into fists, but that did nothing, they kept her nails short so she couldn't hurt herself. A chess piece rolled across the floor. It was round. She watched one of the newer patients went after it. She recoiled closer to the wall. She'd been here so long..but she couldn't remember why her parents put her here. Her music stopped and the sounds from the room flooded in. She bite one of her knuckles until it started bleeding. One of the nurses had been watching her and ran over, taking Violet's hand out of her mouth.
"Now Vi, don't bite." The nurse wrapped her hand and left. Violet relaxed a little as her music started back up, her knees pulling themselves back up to her chin as she wrapped her arms around them. "The sun is too bright.." she mumbled. She wanted to go back to her room..there was only one window, and a real ceiling. She liked it there. It's not so...loud. She heard one of the younger patients outside. Too many people..
 
I looked up at the girl as I retrieved the piece, a pawn. "..." I looked away as she bit her knuckle, and the nurse stopped her. I returned to my little table, and reset the board. I looked over towards the girl who bit herself and raised an eyebrow, motioning towards the chess set. Hopefully she would play with me. If not, oh well. I'll just get one of the guards to play, or something.
 
Violet had been watching the boy, and when he motioned she tilted her head a little. Why does he want me to play? I don't know how to.. She stood up from her spot and came over. "I..I don't know how to play." She said quietly, looking at the board as her eyes darted between each piece. She saw one that was a little sharp, but she remembered what the nurse had said the other day. Sharp things are dangerous..do not touch the sharp part..EVER. Violet sat down. "C....can you teach me?"
 
I looked at her as she asked me to teach her how to play. Tapping my chin thoughtfully, I came up with an Idea. I was friends with one of the male nurses here, and we usually played together. He was the only one here who tried to understand me rather than suppress my incapability to communicate with medicines. We had a special code for when I wanted something chess related, and the desk nurse knew that when I gave it to her, I was sending the message to him. I held one finger at the girl, the universal sign to wait a moment. I walked up to the desk nurse and tapped the glass window to get her attention. "Yes? May I help you, Mr. Galilei?" she asked. "Knight to B4. Knight takes Bishop." I reply. "I'll go get him, just wait at your table." I nod thankfully at her, and return to my seat. I smile at the girl as we wait. Soon, a man in dark purple scrubs walks over. "Morning, Bishop. You wanted me?" he asks. I point at the girl, then the board, and shake my head no. "Let me guess, you want to play with her, but she doesn't know how to play and you can't explain the moves, you want me to teach her." he deduces. I nod and smile at him. Smiling, he rolls his eyes and shoos me away. I get up out of the chair and he sits. "Alright, Lets start."

((In case you actually don't know how to play chess, here is a video that explains it:
))

"Does that make sense?" he asks her, after explaining how the game works.
 
Violet reviewed everything in her head for a few moments. "I..Maybe..thank you?" She was staring at the board, which had been reset. "Maybe.." She repeated. Her earpiece had stopped playing music, but the noise of the room did not bother her. "Th-this is a complicated game."
 
The Nurse nodded. "It can be. If you need any help with it, just have Bishop here come get me. I'm Ryan, by the way." he said, and walked off. I took his seat. Raising an eyebrow, I motioned at the board once more. She was white, it's her move first. And so I waited for her to make a move.
 
Violet nodded and watched the board. "Okay...so.." She moved the F2 pawn forwards one space before folding her hands and looking up at Bishop to see if she made a correct move.
 
This was one of those days. The sun was hot, and it was quiet unlike most days. Nathan sat in the yards like he usually did, and today he had a plan. Maybe he would move today, maybe he would go to the cafeteria. Somehow he would move. Nathan hated this place so much, yet he acted like he cared. If he did things they would think he is getting better. Sadly, he knew he would never get better. He was a lost cause and he knew it. How could a man have so much humanity yet have this sense of no meaning. Was he just a man in a wheel chair or what he more? He was right about his plan, today was the day he would do something. Nathan put his hands on the wheels and moved then slowly turning around. One stride after another he made it to the door of the room with the glass roof. He'd like to call this room happiness, there was always something going on in there. Sometimes if he wasn't out in the garden he would be humbled by the small progress that some of the patients but then he thinks of himself. Maybe it was the meds, maybe it was his lack of love. Sometimes he didn't know. The cool air of the air conditioning him him hard as he got into the door. At one table there was chess going on, like usual, and other tables had games and things. Something was different about this room today. Was it that maybe one of the patients died, or has a new face arrived. As she moved across the room he turned his head following her like a cat watching it's prey. "Who is the new kid." Then he felt it, someone was watching him. Somewhere someone was glaring at him and he could feel their eyes stabbing him in the back. "If you keep looking at me you are going to be choked." He turned around and saw nothing. Was it him, or was it something else. Nathan moved to the table on his right and sat with Phil, the man who had cut himself to much. He was scarred along his arms, neck, face, anywhere you could look. Maybe he liked it, but Nathan had his doubts. Soon his eyes met the new girl who seems clueless on what was going on. "Who is she?"
 
After a while a nurse with curly hair made me stop skipping, I was spending too much time in the hallway by myself, "Didn't I want to have fun with the other patients?" Not really. It was fun skipping up and down the hall with Beary. I was alone in the hallway there were no other people, no mean people. It was the mean people that worried me the most. Sometimes, when someone was mean to me . . . well I don't really remember it. It's like my mind goes blank and I wake up hours later or even days later and have no idea what's happened, or how I got back to bed, or who I saw, or if I said anything to anyone, or why everyone seems scared of me when I go back to the room with the glass roof.

It wasn't until I came here that the doctors told me about Elliot. They tell me what Elliot said and they tell me what Elliot did and they try to get me to remember but I can't. Then they try to get me to feel Elliot, or to let Elliot talk to them, but I can't do either of those things either. Sometimes I think they're telling me lies, but then it'll happen again, like it did yesterday. If it were just Elliot it'd be ok. Because the things they tell me about Elliot actually sound like a nice person. Elliot punched a wall yesterday, but if what the doctors say is true Elliot punched the wall to get the attention of the big mean kid who was picking on the nice old man who says he's Santa. It's the other one they talk about that scares me. The other girl who's supposed to live inside my head.

"Come on, Cora," the nice nurse with the curly hair reaches for my hand. "Let's stop skipping and go into the big room with the others."
"Do I have to?" I ask her knowing what she'll probably say, but hoping she'll change her mind.
"Yes, Cora, you have to. Look Simon's got cartoons on the TV. Why don't you sit down and watch some cartoons?" I let her lead me into the room with the glass roof where she sits me down on the sofa to watch cartoons next to Simon. I snuggled Beary in my lap, rubbing my face in his fuzzy fur. I don't mind Simon. He's a nice old man, and besides, he's Santa.
 
I was taken into a large room. A man sat at a table with a chessboard in front of him. A girl sat across from him. I was recovering from getting the letter, and I had been in a haze the entire trip here. Insane? Why? Just because I like to talk to my friends that nobody can see? Just because I enjoy music? The nurse smiled and escorted me to a chair. There was something wrong with her smile. As if the smile was paining her. As if the smile was hiding something else that was dark and sinister. A cat ran down the hall and padded it's way next to me. It purred and rubbed it's head on my ankles. I reached down to pet the cat, but the nurse's hand on my wrist stopped me. "There's nothing there, Catlyn."
I sighed and withdrew my hand. Instead I listened to the conversation going on between the girl and the man at the chessboard. The tapping of the chesspieces on the board were like a rhythm, like music. I watched them reset the board. I rose an eyebrow like the other man, and whispered to myself. "This is a complicated game. Complicated." I rolled the words around on my tongue, savored them. I got up and made to head towards the others, but the nurse stopped me. "This is a game. Okay....so.." The nurse seemed startled by my words for some reason. I hadn't talked for the entire trip, because I had nobody to copy. The nurse let me go. The cat meowed and followed me. If I'm going to stay here, I might as well familiarize myself. My steps on the floor were a steady rhythm. I stood at the table and watched the game. I saw that the girl was wearing headphones. My fingers twitched. She had music.
 
I nodded, confirming that she made a correct move. I moved the D2 Pawn forward two spaces, freeing up my B1 Bishop. "Pawn to D4." I looked back at her, waiting for her next move. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a girl approach the table. I smiled in greeting, and returned my focus to the game at hand.
 
Violet didn't notice the new girl, but moved her A2 pawn up one space. That's all she was going to do for now, move her pawns. If she needed to move one of the others, she'd need to be careful. She didn't look up for a moment, her earpiece had buzzed, skipping one of her songs. Once the next played, she looked back up.
 
I smiled back at the man. He seemed confident in his ways of chess. I wonder why he's here. I liked that word that he kept on using. Pawn. It seemed almost fitting, because I was sure that almost all of us were pawns in this giant game that we were playing in this building. "This is a game, Pawn." I wasn't sure what to call this man. For some reason I was unable to speak of my own accord. The man at the table didn't speak much. Did he have the same problem? I didn't want to call him Pawn, in case that insulted him, but I didn't know his name. He seemed much more like a different piece, although the names I could not remember. The cat leapt up into my arms and I held it. The cat seemed real. Why didn't anyone see it?
 
I was surprised. Normally, when I smiled at people and looked away, they took it as a dismissal. This person stayed. I looked back to the new person, and stood to properly introduce myself. I couldn't very well say my real name due to my condition, but I could at least call myself by the nickname my friends had given me before my incarceration. Well, the few friends that could tolerate me talking only in chess terms. Which was really only my little sister, Clara Leanne. It was the same name as the piece I always managed to win the game with. I pointed to myself with my thumb. "Bishop." I called myself, and extended my arm for a handshake, raising an eyebrow so as to ask for hers.
 
Violet didn't speak, but watched. She hadn't noticed the new girl approach, but all she did was give her a half-smile, something Violet only did when meeting someone knew. She thought it was interesting how people interacted when they first met, because most people acted differently from person to person; however, she did not. She ran her fingers against her palm, a habit of hers when she had nails, but it didn't do anything at all now.
 
I smiled. "This is Bishop." I said, pointing to the man, showing him that I understood. I paused. What should I call myself? I could build up quite a vocabulary if I was around a talkative person, but I reset every day. It wasn't that I refused to speak on my own terms...in fact, I didn't know why I had to mimic other people. The nurse had called my Catlyn. So I pointed to myself and said, "This is Catlyn. Is....complicated, so is Bishop complicated?" That was the only way she could get her point across. It was her way of saying that she had problems speaking. Maybe Bishop would catch on and realize that I was a mimic. I looked over at the little girl watching cartoons. I smiled. She seemed happy.

"You're not a pawn, Bishop?"
 
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