No fisting please. We're British.

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Asmodeus, Dec 2, 2014.

  1. I need more joke platforms.




    Pornography produced in the UK was quietly censored today through an amendment to the 2003 Communications Act, and the measures appear to take aim at female pleasure.

    The Audiovisual Media Services Regulations 2014 requires that video-on-demand (VoD) online porn now adhere to the same guidelines laid out for DVD sex shop-type porn by the British Board of Film Censors (BBFC).

    Seemingly arbitrarily deciding what is nice sex and what is not nice sex, the board has banned the following acts from being depicted by British pornography producers:

    Spanking

    Caning

    Aggressive whipping

    Penetration by any object "associated with violence"

    Physical or verbal abuse (regardless of whether consensual)

    Urolagnia (known as "water sports")

    Female ejaculation

    Strangulation

    Facesitting

    Fisting


    The final three listed fall under acts the BBFC views as potentially "life-endangering".



    How can you have a British porno without verbal abuse? It's just not the same if you can't call someone a filthy slag.




    :(
     
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  2. [​IMG]
     
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  3. Gotta love the department of redundancy department logic in banning physical abuse, then being doubly sure by banning spanking, caning, aggressive whipping, strangulation, and facesitting.

    Oh government, how you have absolutely no knowledge nor purpose being in the bedrooms of fully grown adults who know better than you.
     
  4. I'm not sure if you meant that toy penetration is associated with violence, or that violent things are not allowed to be used for penetration.
     
  5. These ones also rule out any school documentaries.


    :(
     
  6. And I thought Americans had sexual hangups.


    And just what is wrong with water sports? It can be classy if done right.
     
  7. That is like 80% of all the fun stuff in porn :(
     
  8. Something something Tea.
     
  9. [​IMG]
     
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  10. Female ejaculstion is illegal uk. Sucks to be you
     
  11. I've seen dildos used to bludgeon people.

    Legitimately bludgeon people. With a handle and everything.

    Does that mean no more dildos in British porno?!
     
  12. Finally! Those countless souls who lost their lives to freak facesitting accidents shall be avenged!
     
  13. I'm sorry


    "Water sports"?
     
  14. I know, right? Jet skiing isn't THAT dangerous.
     
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  15. No more swimming, waterpolo and rowing in english media!

    the AMSR says so!
     
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  16. Jet Skiing - its like elementally-reversed charizarding.
     
  17. Wouldn't that censor the whole of lesbian and hetero sex categories in pornography?

    They're going to end up regretting it when there are balls bouncing around everywhere all the time.
     
  18. Thats why we have the Internet. You can get any kind of porn here, don't worry British people. The big WWW is practically a silver platter for any porno that, dare I say it, sits just right on your face.

    Now, honestly Britain left out some really important things. They must really enjoy pooping on each other, because that is most certainly a thing now. I find it rather convenient that they left that out considering how sick someone can get from just touching human fescies, let alone all the other creative things that has been done with poop in pornos.

    ~gags a bit~

    Just sayin'...
     
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  19. HA! YOU SAID SIT!
     
  20. British people be like

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