Needed a place to put this.

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SlamifiedBuddafied

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I needed a place to put part of myself for a later time. Not quite left overs 'nor spare parts. But something to go back and check on sometime to see what's still here and what has left. A bit like looking in the mirror and realizing it's been a long time since you looked at your own reflection. Kind of strange in this day in age, not seeing an image of yourself for just long enough you almost feel a faint disconnection when you do see yourself. It's a bit like your thoughts when put in writing and left alone long enough, that when you read them again you feel a disconnection from your present moment, your mind running a quick shortcut to some synapse in your brain to kick off an almost distant memory, pulling it back to the surface. Not a rescue, oh no. This isn't like trying to save yourself from anything.

I had something like that today. But in a more organic way, discarding printed word in the digital or inked or penciled. Instead I caught my own words leaving another mouth from a face I hadn't seen in a long time. But it was too long. I swear my feet were ready to leave the ground, my body feeling a certain sense of disobedience to the known laws of physics and in clear defiance hovering a few millimeters off the ground. Not that it happened. But it felt that it was on the cusp. I guess you could call it levity towards existence. Then again I haven't felt that I've took existence, or eternity for that matter, very seriously for some time now.

Not nihilism though, more a sense of constant dread that nothing actually exists.

Well back to where I was.

This person who I hadn't seen for a long time speaking my words. I wouldn't say they are my words but I did say this to them during something significant at one point in time. What that significance was is lost on me other than a deep feeling of connection to another being whom I've otherwise gone on in life just fine without. As for what was said, that's a difficult thing. What was said back then and said now match each other, right? But between the two of us, neither actually hear the same words due to the passage of time of memory. Either which way, the words hold importance between those two specific individuals due to sheer circumstance.

I note circumstance, that weird little bug that keeps crawling up here and there with it's nuance and it's casual subtleties. All things considered, the chance of us passing where limited by what had to have been not even thirty seconds. Simply stopping to run back and grab your wallet, forgetting to turn a light off or tying your shoelace would have erased that moment entirely. The simple idle tasks of the day would have had no weight on your mind whatsoever. I'm not making any alludes to fate, but more so the typical quirks of life.

I'm sure we've all had moments like these. Whether it be the simple exchange of words between somebody you'd not seen for quite some time, the rise of a memory due to a circumstance that would've otherwise not happened because you had to (or didn't have to) tie your shoe or trip over or fumble the keys. I suppose these things are hard to discuss. I guess I could trust Iwaku (lots of decent people here) just to drop some thought in black and white here I couldn't get out of my head any other way.

Oh by the way, while reading this you didn't notice the underwear gnomes steal some more of your undies.
 
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