Naruto: A Second Chance (Second Gen)- Phantom

[Ash Mortis]

She was the village vixen: Kii Yamanaka.

Everything about her was graceful, hypnotizing, and devastating all at once. The way her pale, ash blonde hair swayed loosely, just above her wide hips made even Konoha's elders drool- though they shouldn't have been looking anyways. Men swooned at her full, pouting, cherry blossom stained lips, having not the slightest idea of what words were being said to them. The village vixen, with her porcelain skin, tiny waist, and bright hazel eyes, was untouchable.

Kii was bright, yes. Possibly the most intelligent of the bunch when she was an academy student. But she was closed off. Don't get me wrong, she had plenty of friends and was well-known throughout the entire village, she just never let a man too close. I remember her telling me how she would always be a free bird. She says "Relationships are such a waste of time in a live or die world, don't you think, Goto-san? Here, you have to be smart. Putting your loved ones in constant peril is not smart." I remember just smiling at this, silently pleading with her to change her mind, to take back her words. They hurt. I was madly in love with her. Her beauty, her carefree attitude, and her intelligence made her perfect, especially for me. I wanted the best and nothing less.

Now that I reflect back upon my feelings, I wonder if I ever did love her. Love calls for desperate measures, doesn't it? Just as I find a reason to justify my actions of the past, I feel selfish and I am pulled back into my everlasting guilt.
Even now, I don't fully comprehend why I did it, why I pushed her, why I helped in the murder and attempted murder of our two, bright, beautiful girls.

I apologize. I'm jumping all over the place. I just.. can't seem to get my thoughts together. Maybe we'll talk about this another time? Then we will start with my first sin.

 

[Ash Mortis]

Oh. You're back already? And so early, too... I suppose you just couldn't wait to hear more. I don't blame you. From an outsider's view, this is all so interesting and mysterious, isn't it? Very well. Let's get started.

The first time I ever got Kii alone, we were at a festival. The New Year Festival, and Kii's seventeenth birthday to be exact. I, myself, was only a year older than she. We had known each other for eight years now, and we were the best of friends. Tonight, she had never looked so... marvelous. There was not a person she walked by who didn't double take, myself included. Her hair was bundled neatly on top of her head, with a few strands framing her face. She had done her makeup that night, too. All she used was a little ruby rouge on her cheeks and winged eyeliner; however, nothing else but the flame red and gold kimono she wore was needed to offset those bedroom eyes of hers. I sighed in delight, feeling privileged just to be near her, as so many often did. Kii's every move was captivating. I wanted her more than ever.

So, I drugged her. Late at night, as we ate dinner at Konoha's best restaurant: Nehan, I slipped something in her sake. If she saw something, she didn't speak up. I realize you might wonder where I had even gotten the drugs from and why I just carried them around casually. I will let you in on a secret: Hanatoro, my old friend, is a genius.

Back to the story.

The drugs took their sweet time on Kii. Like a rotting flower, she seemed to droop throughout the night. When the timing was perfect, I invited her back to my abode and took her to bed. We didn't.. I didn't think to use protection. I didn't think one time would matter, or that when she awoke the next morning, she would recall what happened the prior night. Apparently, the drugs Hanatoro sold me didn't affect memory.

Anyways, a month or two later, Kii confronted me about the incident, claiming she was... she was... pregnant. My heart dropped. Questions scampered through my head. I knew I was in trouble and we were both too young for parenthood. However, when she suggested getting married, I perked up. I mean, who wouldn't want to claim such a pretty thing as Kii? She would be mine. Aaaallllll mine. Forever. Deep down, I knew that she only suggested this to spare our clans the shame. She never loved me and I was wrong to act on my primal urges.

We all have to face unwanted consequences as some point.

 

[Ash Mortis]

We did exactly was Kii suggested, as soon as possible. Anything to spare the shame of our clans. We eloped on a sunny, Tuesday afternoon. On your wedding day, I suppose you are supposed to be joy ridden, drenched in excitement. In all honesty, I was terrified. My heart was in my throat. Hell, I couldn't even focus on my wife-to-be.

Though quite obviously nervous, Kii was radiant. She had dressed up for the occasion, even though neither of our families were attending and only one photo was taken of us that day... That picture is still framed on my dining room table; a grim reminder of my past. She wore a pastel purple yukata. It was form fitting, with a shimmering, silver, and black obi. Her long, blonde hair glowed in the bright sun, braided neatly to the right of her head. My focus was off though. My mind was so wrapped up in our current situation that I had almost forgotten to say my poorly written vows.

When everything was said and done, we ate dinner at Nehan, and discussed her living situation. It was decided that in exactly two days, she would move in with me.

Everything went smoothly from there- almost.

I am a man, okay? I have my needs. All men do. What am I to do when my woman doesn't put out for me? I wouldn't go to anyone else. I refused to. I am not that kind of man.

I realize she was pregnant, and uncomfortable with even kissing me but I- the urge.. was too strong! The doctor said it wouldn't be a problem for the baby.. So I figured, why not? I was selfish. The things I did to her at night were despicable, and to know that /she/ was the one put away for the damage I caused... It sickens me!

So many nights I had kept her shackles, tied to the bed, tape over the mouth, and blind folded. I used her. I used her in the worst way. God dammit, I-I can never forgive myself! Yet, I dream about it and crave more of those old days! I'm going to puke!

Seeing her with her swollen stomach, stretched out, with tears down her cheeks, and hand prints plastered on her hips, shoulders, breasts, and inner thighs... every time I close my eyes.. The bruises on her neck.. I can't.. I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Go away!

 

[Ash Mortis]

The birth went fine, thanks for asking. We were blessed with a baby girl. She had her mother's gorgeous hazel eyes and my dark hair. I've never seen Kii so happy. For one moment, a split second, Kii's eyes flickered over to me, spilling over with love. My heart leaped out of my chest and I smiled at her, relieved and proud.

Kii was the one who named her: Chiaki. It means Autumn Blood. I was devastated by this, fully aware of why our daughter was given this name. My beautiful wife's blood was on my hands, and my lifelong reminder of this was born in September.

I had the strangest feeling she was going to leave me. This was a very real possibility, considering everything I had done to her. I was running out of options. I couldn't drug her like before, she was too intelligent to believe any of my sugar-arsenic coated donut lies, and our child wasn't enough of a reason for her to stay. Panicking, I thought of outrageous ways to keep her here. I was scared, very scared. She was dangerous. She was still covered in bruises and bite marks. Kii could easily go to her clan and stir up something I, for one, did not want to deal with. No way was I fessing up to such horrible things and accepting consequences. That would be disastrous.

While eating breakfast with my wife and daughter one morning, I realized my way out of the souring situation. It was all so simple: I just had to get Kii pregnant again. If I just kept her locked up as I did before, repeating the nightly routine she had to be more than used to and sick of, she'd be with child soon enough. Then, she wouldn't be able to leave! There's no way she could!

I know it was monstrous, but I did carry through with my plan, and to my delight, she was pregnant within two months or so. The only issue repeatedly rearing it's ugly head was how bitter Kii had become. She'd spit at me, yell curses at me, and cry herself to sleep at night. "Love comes at a high cost." I preached that to her every day and every night. She must have been deaf. The message never really soaked through her pretty little skull.

I must have been putting Kii under too much stress. Our baby boy, born two months early, made it a whole two days before we had to lay him to rest. Oddly enough, his mother seemed relieved. I, on the other hand, was beside myself with guilt. I decided to give her a break before I tried again. Like a good husband, I nursed her back to health and made empty promises. For the next year or two, everything was okay. Nothing really to tell you about. Kii seemed healthy and Chiaki was growing so fast. Our household was sunny and bright, minus Kii ignoring me half of the time. I brought the next storm on by myself, seeing this as a perfect time to start trying again for another child. I could see the fear on Kii's face the night I told her. She broke down sobbing, saying I had a devil in my skin, that I was immature, and that she was beginning to hate me.

"Don't make me hate you, Goto-kun, please. Don't make me."

I shook my head, carrying Kii back to her private hell.

 

[Ash Mortis]

Well, two months into trying and I had gotten my wish. My beautiful wife, though beaten and frail, was yet again with child. I woke up every morning with her by my side and a grin on my face. She never returned the smile, just glaring eyes.

Time flew by. Before I knew it, Chiaki had turned four and it was about time for the birth of our second child, whom upon her birth, I named Ema. She was a spitting image of me, and I had never been happier, more proud. Ema seemed to have come out smiling; she was just a ball of happiness. I remember thinking how ironic that was, considering how she was conceived. I turned to look at Kii, who seemed to have lost her passion for anything and everything bright. Even her burning hazel eyes seemed a dull brown on that day.

I should have known something had snapped within her.

Kii wouldn't speak to me. She barely ate. She barely left the house. She hardly got out of bed or off of the couch to take care of herself. Of course, I was worried, but I distanced myself, now feeling the reality sink in of what I had done. I didn't want to upset her more than already had.

Everything about her was... grey.

Her attitude, her personality, her new color choices. Everything. Was. Grey.

Kii stared daggers at her young everyday, like a mother cat realizing that something was off with her kittens. She seemed ready to pounce any day, any moment. All this time, I swore her hatred was directed at me. How could she? How could she take it out on our own children? Her newborn? Her firstborn?

 

[Ash Mortis]

It was terrible, what she did but, it was my fault. Yet to this day she remains locked up, a basket case. And I'm a free man.

Our poor Chiaki.. I can see the toll it takes on her, everyday. It isn't fair- not to her or to Kii. God, what have I done?
My beautiful little girl walks around like she has cement weighing down her every step. I can see how haunted her expression is, how scared she gets at night, how empty she is.

She's so broken and I can't fix it. It was unforgivable, the hell I put Kii through and the hell I'm putting Chi through. It's been nine years but, I can sense it. It affects her day to day. She stills sees her sister, little Ema. She stills sees her mother's hateful eyes when she looks in the mirror. She screams so loud at night, sometimes I swear the neighbors will contact the authorities.

"Momma, what are you doing? Momma please, don't you love me? Don't you want me? Daddy, help! Daddy, help Ema!"

Her sobs rack through more than just her own small frame. They hit me too, wave after wave.

One time, last year actually, I found her staring blankly at herself in the mirror with a knife to her neck. When I asked what in the world she was doing, she simply stated that she was "finishing what Momma started. I don't deserve this much, do I, Daddy? She told me when she put Sissy to sleep...

I don't deserve to live."

 

[Ash Mortis]

The day Kii lost it, I had some paperwork to do at the Academy. Nothing new. Kii had actually been making progress. She seemed healthier, happier.

It was gorgeous out. Sunny with a slight breeze. Kii had stated before I left that she was going to take the kids out for a picnic.

"Okay, sweetie." I said, kissing her on the cheek (to which she flinched at). "Just be safe. Where are you taking them?"

She quietly replied that she'd be taking them to the creek next to our house. I nodded and left, thinking that it was going to be a particularly good day.

A few hours later, I began my walk home, deciding to stop by and check on the girls.

I didn't hear anything out of the normal.. No cries for help. No coughing. No sputtering. Just peaceful birds singing sweetly.

I should have known that something was wrong but, I was stupid. I was oblivious. I was.. living in a fantasy. But Kii was hunched over the water, her long blonde hair dipped into it, flowing with the current along with her skirt. I smiled, walking down to greet her, thinking that maybe the kids were down further. How dumb could I be? Ema was only a YEAR OLD, and Chi only FOUR. And the thrashing... and the gurgling. How come I didn't hear that before? It was so obvious that something was so very wrong!

Approaching my wife, I peeked around her shoulder and.. and my baby.. I didn't notice her floating face down in the water.. How could I not have noticed?

My gut was screaming at me, telling me where my other daughter was but for the longest time, all I could do was stare at little Ema... lifelessly... bobbing.. along...

It was almost too late before my body sprung into action, the water below Kii almost still. I panicked and tackled her, crying out.
How could I not have noticed?
How could no one else have?