EXERCISE Myth-take Challenge #25

Discussion in 'REFINING WRITING' started by Lstorm, May 19, 2013.

  1. Myths and legends could be said to be the prototypes of modern novels. They are stories in their own right, tales that were passed on for generations. Even today, some elements from the old myths remain in our stories and occasionally, they serve as inspiration.

    This week’s mythical element is: The Serpent
    The serpent is a recurring theme in many mythologies, but it is an especially prevalent element of Christian and Jewish mythology. A creature of cunning and deception, the serpent is responsible for tempting Eve into trying the Fruit of Knowledge and ultimately exiling Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden. Most of the time, the serpent is seen in a negative light and Christian mythology makes a direct connection between the serpent and Satan.
    Your challenge is to write a story that incorporates your own take on this mythical element. The genre and setting of the story does not matter as long as the element remains recognisable.
  2. The peasants had brought the child to the monastery only an hour ago, and already the girl was undergoing convulsions. Her joints were all at the wrong angles, and you could almost see the scales of the demon inside pressing against her tender skin.

    "Pater Noster, qui est in Caelum..." repeated the friar over and over again in prayer as the censer waved over the writhing body.

    The girl hissed, and her eyes shot wide open as she lunged at the crucifix. The five men holding her down were nearly thrown across the room by the sudden movement before they piled back on. The reptilian glare never left her eyes, and she swayed back and forth, trying to crawl on her belly, foam dripping from her mouth.

    The sound of hooves can be heard outside as a carriage rolled up, and the door opened for the priest and the inquisitors of the Order of the Cross.

    "How is she?"

    "Still taken, Father. The snake won't leave her."

    "He will leave in the Name of our Lord."

    "Father, if we make the wrong move, that creature could crush her easily."

    "The time for caution and negotiation is past, Brother. We need to act now, for the sake of the child's soul."

    "Yes, Father."

    There was a shriek inside as one of the strong men were thrown into a wall, cracking bone. He was holding onto his arm, which inexplicably began swelling and dying.

    "She BIT me! I was holding her and her neck just twisted around and BIT me!" he screamed in hysterics as the supernatural, invisible venom began to wither his arm and body.

    At the priest's motion, the clerics began applying the holy water and leeches while the man struggled and wept in pain.

    A snakelike smile crossed the girl's face as if pushed from within by a serpent. It quickly turned into a scowl and grimace of fear and hatred as the priest walked forward.

    "What do you want with me, hhhhhhhhhuman?" hissed the spirit within.

    "In Nomini-"

    "Oh, cut the Latin, human. We bothhhhhhh know language meansssssss nothing hhhhhhhere. You want me to leave. You think that fffffflowery wordssssssss, little ritualssssssssss, water and a few piecesssssssssssss of wood are going to ffffforce me? They annoy me, really. Hsssssss, you humanssssss really have an inflated opinion of yourselvessssss."

    The serpent cackled as the priest's eyes widened.

    "Begone, snake! Leave her! I command you!"

    "You and what army, priesssssst? You think you have any power here, little worm, little maggot of flesh which turnssss nature to dusssst and writhessss in its own filthhhhhh? You are nothhhhhing. And if you move, I will crussssshhhhh thisssss child."


    **I couldn't think of a creative ending to this, but here's HALF a story, at least.**
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