Myrn's Poetry

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Myrnodyn, Jan 28, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. "Anders"

    A rock with ruby lines,
    A stag of purest white.
    A child which dances though the rain,
    laughing with delight.
    A princess fighting for her prince,
    good food by candlelight.
    These things are liked by me and most,
    ...because they're different.

    A girl that smiles her goofy smiles,
    though sometimes she is sad.
    A girl whose kindness hasn't waned,
    through good times, and through bad.
    A girl whose heart is full of warmth,
    though sometimes it has bled.
    This girl is loved by me and most,
    ...because she's different.



    I gaze up at the stars and say,
    Why do people feel this way?
    Though no-one answers I can feel,
    That I will know this thing some day.

    I gaze up at the stars and sigh,
    Do others ever wonder why?
    We know the world or so we think,
    what if it is all a lie?

    I gaze up at the stars and ask,
    Why do I bother with this mask?
    why do I feel like being me,
    is more than just a simple task?

    I gaze up at the stars and think
    If they will ever find the link,
    between emotions and the soul,
    the way in which we swim or sink.

    I gaze up at the stars and smile
    I've put these questions on a pile
    Unanswered they would serve me best,
    they keep me busy...for a while.



    You are like the sea, calm, beautifull, serene.

    But sometimes, rough waves of anger,
    can wash away those who don’t know you,
    and devour those that seek your presence.

    The wind sings your praise, telling the mountains,
    the legends of your depths, and elegant curves.

    I, the seagull, soaring above the winds on the wings of freedom,
    can’t resist the lure of the sustenance that is your love.

    Fearing your wrath, I close my eyes, and dive...



    Greed for the hunger, we always want more,
    wanting from others, is what envy is for.
    Wrath for the fearful, unwilling and weak,
    Pride for the princes, as glory they seek.
    Lust for desires, caresses and flesh,
    Sloth for the lazy, who couldn't care less.
    And last comes vanity, the sin for the sane
    Aren't we all, at least a bit vane?

    These are the sins, in which christians revel
    If there was no god, could there be a devil?



    Give me some juice, babe
    Some liquid relief.
    Squeeze me some fresh,
    or you might as well leave
    Hand me some fluids,
    I'll handle it well.

    God give me some juice...
    'cause I'm thirsty as hell.


    "the thief"

    It started with money,
    it started with need.
    But a rotten apple,
    Will not bear good seed.

    I stole from the poor,
    The rich I robbed blind,
    I stole from the clergy,
    and I stole from my kind.

    My greed didn't stop,
    one could wonder why.
    But I wanted things,
    gold coins couldn't buy.

    I stole lots of kisses,
    and sometimes a smile.
    I sometimes stole time,
    so I could rest for a while.

    I once stole the stars,
    I once had them all.
    But they look their best
    in the sky afterall.

    Still there is something,
    I desired from start.
    I wish I could steal it,
    but it's proven too hard.

    I know I'm not handsome,
    And I am not that smart.
    But I'd be so happy,
    if I could steal your heart.


    some select few may recognize some of these, others are new. Some I consider good, others not so much. Bit of true poetry, bit of silly rhyming...see what you think of it (and by all means, feel free to criticize if you can justify it.)

    I'll try to add poems and rhymes to this thread as I make them (AKA once every month or so if not longer)
  2. Myrn I did enjoy reading your work and I will comment on a couple :]]

    In this work I really love how you tie back to the original line and slightly changing it. Doing that brings the reader back to something familiar they can relate with and allows them to better ponder the questions being asked. Secondly all of the questions asked are some people should ask themselves everyday. In the end you wrap it up nicely by making the questions not a priority and not ruling your life but rather something in time to think about.

    This would have to be my favorite one out of the bunch as it is similar to an epic love poem I've been writing that is 23 pages long so far. You're use of adjectives and verbs giving inanimate objects life and joy of this person can only bring the utmost happiness. With you as the seagull I want to dive right in and become immersed in the love that this person provides.

    Now I'm not sure what message you are trying to get across as it could be taken a variety of ways. YOur rhyming scheme works well and flows fluidly (ha pun) from line to line. I enjoy your use of satire in the end of the work encompassing God and hell and being thirsty (as I'm sure it's sweltering down there). It's short and sweet and leaves the reader with the ability to derive their own message.

    Sometimes we don't get enough comments on poetry even though we pour our being into it. Keep writing!
  3. @_@

    Wow, "Elements," gave me this anti-gravity feeling of gliding like the seagull through a prettypretty canyon. And wow, it was beautiful! I love it because it's so sensitive and gives a feeling in the words. Although I can't remember the exact verse, I'm left with a 'feeling' once I've read the poem.

    That really touched my heart <3

    Thank you DynDynkun :)
    • Love Love x 1
  4. The Theif is my favorite because you gracefully depict the things gold coins can't buy. Loved it the mostest.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.