My kids ganged up against me...

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Scripturient, Dec 19, 2014.

  1. And using all of their Christmas money to buy a ferret.

    Meet Freddy Fazferret (open)
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  2. Freddy Fazferret. xD
    I love it.
  3. I, um, er...

    Goodluck! :D
  4. @Brovo
    He'd be proud.

    Fazferret though, That's pretty adorable.
  5. A FERRET?!

    LUCCCKKKKYYYYYY <3 I've been wanting a ferret for half a decade now, but I live with my parents and they don't want one. ;-;

    Tell your kids to use their special powers to get me a ferret as well.
  6. Yeah, they're kind of obsessed with Five Nights at Freddy's. She's actually really sweet (And trained! Thank goodness.) fixed, and everything. Some guy had to get rid of her because he couldn't afford to keep her, so now she's got a new home with four kids that won't leave the poor thing alone. She's been trying to curl up in her hammock for the past twenty minutes. @_@
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  7. <lights a fire, gets ingredients for marinade, references another thread about ferrets>
  8. My nurse Cynthia says ferrets cages start to stink after a month and the stink is bad and it don't come off
  9. D'aww, yes, I am proud, though for obvious reasons, I will now give the Ferrets 101 crash course because I guarantee that your kids are not prepared for the responsibility that comes with a carpet shark.

    #1: If it isn't already, ensure your ferret is spayed. For males this is more because they get a little aggressive during mating season and may try to mark territory. For females, they can literally get sick and die from being in heat too long. (Yep, this is an animal that can die from being horny too long.)

    #2: While descenting isn't mandatory for any health reason, with children, I'd do it. Ferrets will only release their more alluring odour when scared, which around children, will happen sooner or later.

    #3: Get them other vet shots & et cetera. If you can't afford them all, specifically go for a flu vaccination. You can give your ferrets the flu and for them, it can be deadly due to weaker immune systems from generations of inbreeding.

    #4: Ferret food can be hard to find, so keep in mind that in a pinch, high protein cat food makes for a solid substitute. They can also eat raw meat (specifically poultry such as chicken and turkey is easier for them to digest so long as you cut it up for them first).

    #5: They're problem solvers and kleptomaniacs, like eight year olds. You may want to buy a simple combination lock for their cage, and write the number down somewhere so you don't forget.

    #6: Watch your feet (and ass) when you get up or sit down. Ferrets are extremely social and inquisitive, but again, they have the mindset of an eight year old: They don't understand the danger a 150-ish pound human can be if they get stepped on or sat on.

    #7: When teaching them not to bite, keep in mind the following.
    --Most biting is usually preceeded by a couple inquisitive licks.
    --There is a difference between playful nipping (light pokes to get your attention) and solidly biting and gnawing. Try not to punish them for nipping: It doesn't hurt and it's how they naturally communicate and investigate the world around them.
    --Don't hit them or punish them with your hand. You don't want to associate your hand as a source of discipline and pain. Instead, put them into a container (a box will do--not their cage for the same reason as the hand) and leave them there for about 2-5 minutes. Repeat until they learn that biting = playtime over!

    #8: Keep a couple ferret know-how sites handy, such as the ferret rescue society, PetMD, and Adopt-A-Ferret. That way you don't have to ask an enthusiast for help, you can ask an expert.

    #9: To toilet train them, take note where it is they most often do their business and keep a litter box there. Use positive encouragement when they use the litter box to reinforce that litter box = good. You may want to keep a couple litter boxes around--they're not as good as cats about using them. As with any pet, change it daily so the ferret will use it.

    #10: Finally, remember that ferrets are social animals, perhaps even more than dogs. They love attention and they love to play. Getting them cheap toys and treats, and interacting with them is a must. They will love you in ways few animals can and they will never stop reminding you of that... Except when they're sleeping for 14 hours a day, eating, stealing something (ferrets have kleptomania--watch where you put your keys!), and trying to problem solve.

    Things ferrets love:
    --Boxes and places to slink about (think underneath beds, couches, et cetera--getting them a plastic tube amounts to god tier entertainment for them).
    --Snow. (They love to burrow in it.)
    --Not water. (Ferrets in their natural habitats don't swim often, they can dog paddle but 9 times out of 10 will do it just to get back to the shore.)
    --Squeaky toys. (Grab one, squeak it, and keep it ahead of your ferret. Prepare for the most adorable noise of all time as they try to reach it.)
    --You. (Really. I mean it. Treat a ferret well and they will love you to utterly obscene degrees. Examples including cuddling up with you on the couch, dragging some of their toys over to you to play, and simply being bundles of excitable happiness.)

    Ferrets are great pets, but they're high maintenance. They typically live between 8-10 years, though some are known to live as long as 14. Due to inbreeding they're vulnerable to diseases like cancer.

    If you have any other questions, feel free to ask. Otherwise, have fun with your new member of the family! :ferret:


    OH! RIGHT! To keep a ferret clean: Wash them once every week or two, no more often than that. If you do, the oils that make them smelly will kick into overdrive. On the flip side, they're hypoallergenic--meaning that because they rely on the oils and not on dander like cats and dogs do, anyone with pet allergies visiting your home doesn't have to worry about the ferret. As for the cage, clean it like you would any other cage. If you don't, it'll smell, like any other cage.
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  10. Fortunately she's already spayed, and descented, and as far as I've seen she's litter trained. (Although she did have an accident in her carrier on the way home. So far I think she's still in shock from the sudden change of surroundings, and the lack of sleep since my kids won't give her five seconds of peace. Luckily, I think they'll get bored with her after a few days and then I can take over giving her attention. She came with her own cage, which I'm kind of glad for because I would have felt horrible putting her in a new home as well as a new little house as well.

    The bath thing I'm still working out. I need to run to the pet store tomorrow to get some shampoo for her because she is a bit on the ripe side. Other than that, she's doing fairly well. I'm going to call my vet on Monday to see if he can get her in before Christmas. So far no biting though, and the guy I bought her from gave me plenty of food, although I think she likes one kind better than the other.

    She's already a love bug. She laid in my arms for nearly a half hour till my kids kept bouncing on the bed and nagging at me about wanting to play with her. Now all I have to do is wait for my dog to stop barking every time she moves in her cage and I might actually get some peace tonight.

    She also loves music and dancing. o.O I had no idea they could dance. lol
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  11. *Bangs a fork and knife on a table, a paper towel bib in place*

    Is this thing gonna happen, or what?
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  12. Ferrets are surprisingly smart and empathetic animals. They're incredible problem solvers and have been recorded to make piles of things to get to higher places, pick unsophisticated locks, and so on. You may also notice your ferret trying to get your attention when you're in emotional turmoil: They don't like to see you in pain and will try to cheer you up. (Again, part of the whole "they will love you in ways few pets can" bit.)

    As such, with greater intelligence (problem solving, empathy) they tend to appreciate things we usually think only humans can, like pleasant noises and smells. Get some sweet smelling candles and your ferret will go into that room. Get the aforementioned squeaky toy and they clue in. Even grabbing a bag of food and shaking it can sometimes elicit attention. You can also teach them a menagerie of tricks--from simple stuff like playing dead, to something as complex as driving rabbits out of burrows and into traps you've set up. If you're especially patient, you can even teach them to do things in pairs or triplets. There's a reason I love them so much. :ferret:


    Also, the fact that you go one with the cage, medical work already done and so on, is good. I see too many new ferret owners buy their ferrets without any of the medical work done and then gawk at the 2K bill to get the surgeries and shots done. Since that's done already for you, the most expensive thing will likely be the yearly flu shot and whether you want your squeaky toy in green or red.
  13. Huh, I didn't know that. I knew they were easy to train though. She's already been trained not to bite, although she will if she gets annoyed enough, but it seems to take a lot to annoy her. She doesn't like loud noises, but who does? I did get her some cat treats (I read that their okay as long as they're the high quality kind and not the cheapos. They were mostly to help keep her calm during the car ride home.)

    The kids are convinced she's already picked up on her new name, but I'm not exactly on that one. I'll figure out most of it as I go along. I'm not sure that the guy who had her before really paid her much attention, because he didn't tell me a whole lot about her other than that she was fixed and descented. I had to ask him for her original name (Which was Laughie, and that was vetoed before we even got back in the car with her. lol)

    Right now she's probably wishing someone would not pay attention to her. Poor thing.
  14. points for rocky reference
  15. Well I'm sure it'll all settle down soon. Anyway, enjoy your new ferret, as I could obsess all day, but after a certain point, I just have to let it go. :ferret:


    Goodbye for now...
  16. The amount of ferret related threads makes me want to piss sunshine in the mouths of millions. Ferrets. Are. My. Shit.
  17. om nom nom nom

    nom nom


    nom nom nom om


    nom nom nom

    This ferret tastes like shit.

    Needs more marinade.
  18. You have issues. o.o

    I bet you'd eat kittens too.
  19. I wonder if that's a stereotype thing.