All I can say is I don't quite feel right with myself right now. I feel like a terrible terrible person, an absolute abomination of what it means to be human. Forever and a day I try to make everyone around me happy even at the cost of me not liking what I'm doing. And ashamedly as well as respectably I have followed through with such things. I also see that such things can cause division in me, hard choices that I know in the end are hard to make and I know the right choice but my unfortunate habit makes me quite unfit to make those choices. It tears away at me and eventually it becomes karmic retribution for what I have done or not done. This of course I focus upon myself, because I can never bring it to myself to really outpour anything to anyone in words, or at least vocally. So thus this little thingy was born so I could at least say that I am not feeling good about my inactions as of recently, and the only emotional aid I seek is that somewhere somehow I can find forgiveness in myself but also from those that are harmed.