My friend Jon

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Hydronine, Feb 1, 2010.

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  1. Behind every shit-crazy girl, is the male best friend who's a crackpot.

    Meet Jon, he's masculine, but somehow if you put makeup on him, BAM you got a fuckin' PERFECT TEN, woman.

    He's my age, three days older than me, and he's a great friend, it's his SHIT that drives me UP THE WALL INSANE!

    He hurts himself. He drinks. He does drugs. HE DRAWS THINGS ON HIMSELF WITH A RAZOR!

    Who has all the crazies and drug-dealers as his best friends? Him.

    Who tries to save his ass EVERY TIME? ME.

    WHO HELPED PUT HIM IN REHAB?! ME AND HIS MOTHER.

    He's still there. He still drinks. Still hurts himself. Still talks to me all that he can.

    He's the dude I drink with. He's the dark to my light.

    He got a rifle pointed at his head while I was on the phone with him once.

    He's a grinning, gorgeous guy that never understands why girls do double takes at him. Pictures don't do him justice.

    He wants to fuck. He'd be happy to be top or bottom, man or woman, fuck their brains out.

    He's the one who makes me cry with laughter as easily as he makes me cry with frustration.

    His friends ARE ALWAYS the worst influence for him.

    Where did THIS relationship form?

    Last year pretty much.

    How?

    I was the person he called when the shit hit the fan with his ex-girlfriend.

    Yeah, no smart decisions were made on that day.

    All I want is for him to be happy and to get his head straight.

    He's the kinda guy that can do X and then call me up and sound SO fucking focused and into it.

    He's the kinda guy who looks for love in all the wrong places.

    He drank whiskey with me. I drunkenly gave him head.

    He was the kind of guy who easily saw that as a onetime occurrence and left it at that since I have Jesse, which I'm thankful for.

    He makes me paranoid, though.

    He cut a cross into his right arm, and the devil's hands into his left.

    Is it creepy that it actually looks well done?

    His wrists are shit. His hospital records must have to be held in a hard-back book, because there's so many things in it.

    His meds never are right for him.

    He's almost never sober.

    He's the one who helps ME be sober.

    So let me explain, I'm in a plutonic, friendship-only relationship with Jon.

    What's crazy is... well, in an odd way, I think even though his shit in the physical realm is worse than mine, my emotional and mental state can keep pace with him. We're soulmate best friends.

    It makes no sense. He can be an asshole, but he gives a shit.

    I'm a crazy sweetheart, but he helps me when the hate in my heart is too much for me to handle on my own.

    This is different than with Katsugi. She's like a sister, a twin to me. she knows me completely for what I am.

    Jon knows me for all the things I could be. Good or bad. He helps stoke the fires for that.

    So we're the two that are only happy when we're bleeding so we know we're alive.

    He's telling me that he's dying inside.

    He's smling when the tears run down his cheeks.

    He's insane, and I'm happy to join him if he'll only stop hurting himself.

    He's a guilty pleasure. When he hurts, I hurt. When I love, he loves. When he hates, I hate. When I laugh, he laughs.

    One of my friends told me that she hated Jon. She hates him because of how crazy he makes me. She hates him because he knows that he holds the keys to my heart. She hates him because he's my emotional bodyguard.

    Don't misunderstand. I LOVE JESS. This guy is COMPLETELY different in my relationship with him. Jess owns my body, mind, and heart.

    But who can CONTROL those three things?

    Bingo.

    Jon can make me run, Jon can make me punch, Jon can make me laugh. He can make me think things I don't want to. He can make me imagine impossible futures. He can make me love more, or he can make me hate.


    I'd be lying if I said that I didn't like it either.

    He's the guy that would never take me from my boyfriend. that's not his aim I would think.

    I think of him as a lonely soul, who latched onto me as much as I did him, like a yin yang.

    He feeds the darkness in my soul as much as he helps take it away.

    And I have a suspicion that I might be just as fucked up as him...
     
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