The first one kinda involves my rping. I used to know a friend on another rp site, she roleplayed for so much longer then me since she was around the age of eight or nine years old which is rather young for a roleplayer. She used to have this leather bound journal and it was filled to the brim with different rp ideas and pairings and all these amazing things, I have the journal with me now and I'm worried to use it, I know that she said "That these are your ideas now and you can use them anyway you wish" but I'm scared to use them. I don't want to let her down but then again I really really want to use them.
I'd say use them. Even IF you "let her down" the fact will still remain that you got better at RPing from it. So eventually you'll get better and better. Or if you truly don't want to copy, then modify :D Like say one of her ideas is a hunger games type of thing. Add or remove a few things, like say remove the boarders and people can run away, or add more tools and what nots around the playing field. And instead of a president snow, have it dictator Ray who's actually super nice and the whole hunger games thing is Ray thinking it's all staged because the true evil guy is someone else who it's the RPers job to expose/kill off/turn in/whatever.
Another problem involves my grandmother, she's a bit of a bully saying that I'm "nothing more then a worthless bitch who can't do anything right" which upsets me, my grandpa says is because I remind her so much of my mother who passed out and lately, I've been having nightmares of her chasing me around with this sort of knife and stabbing me chanting"Mess up, mess up so that way I can attack you", it's nerve wracking and depressing.
That's... a more difficult thing. I have a scummy step-grandfather, he once got pissy that my shoe wasn't in the right place and threw it at me while I had a headache. But he's so old and stubborn (And his house) that I couldn't do anything about it DX So sadly, you may just have to wait till you can get away from her and eventually try to forget her.
It's difficult for the dream one because (At least for me) My dream self, and my real self are quite different. For example, my dream self has this ridicules fear of ghost. Whenever a ghost shows up, my dream self just becomes paralyzed. I'm not afraid of ghost XP I'm like 99% certain that I live with a few (I once saw one in my room, and a few months ago my friend saw one, he explained it to me, and it was the same person, and I didn't even tell him about it originally or if I did, I didn't go into looks) So with the nightmares, I guess try to find a professional of sorts that can help with that because the most I can really do in that situation is hope for the dream where my dream self would finally decide to fight back.
The last one and final one involves my sister. I got her into roleplaying and she seems to be doing everything better then me, she has an amazing social life, got good grades, went to gradnight, when to prom and even was able to get all her college classes beforehand. While I'm struggling for everything and now I'm just depressed
Try thinking for a moment. Do you TRULY want a life like hers?
For me, Prom sucks and is boring XD (And over priced) I don't fully know how a girl would see prom, but it's never seemed to be anything special to me except a place with way too many rules and way too many jocks >.<
For social life, the more people there are, the more drama there is. I just happen to love drama, but I'm not a fan of being in the middle of it XD On the outside her social life may seem like a dream come true, but internally, I doubt it's anything that's too too special.
Good grades- You know, it pisses me off that people pretend like grades mean anything. You would think they would know full well that someones grades STRICTLY depend on the teacher, and luck. Don't believe me? My first half of 10th grade had an F in math. The last half was an A. How could that be? How could someone POSSIBLY go from an F to an A suddenly? Was he/she not trying the first half? (Get over yourself >.<)
It's because the first half I had a teacher who did a problem for me, then marked his OWN ANSWER WRONG! While my second half, I had a teacher that actually taught.
There was this guy who had all A's, but despite that, was the most stupid person I've ever met. How so? They may be good at memorizing bullshit, but when it came to life, this guy knew nothing because he was a sheltered prick.
From what I can tell, at most, grades are for a slight head start in life. You don't really need good grades to get somewhere, it just helps with the initial launch. So really, I wouldn't stress too much about grades. Is it nice to have all A's? Sure. (To me it was a reason to slack off, my score in math in 12th grade was so high that I was able to do NOTHING the last month of math still end up with a B ^^ Of course I didn't because that woulda been boring, but still. But not everyone has that luxury because not everyone has a teacher that gives so many assignments.) So I wouldn't exactly worry about grades, especially if it's just to match your sister because you'll probably end up doing worse in the end.
As for her being better at you with everything, how much does that truly matter to you?
You both clearly went a different route in life. So instead of trying to be better than her in her own territory, specialize in your own territory. Also try to encourage her being better a bit too. If she succeeds amazingly, and if you're unlucky and you don't, then you can ask for help, and maybe she can hook you up with a pretty nifty future. The better off she is, then the better position she may be able to get you/train you in the end :D In that path, will it bug you that she's above you? Perhaps. But I wouldn't necessarily call that a bad thing. If you're both pretty rich with a set future in the end, then I doubt you'd care that she makes more money than you in the end XP Even so, When I became better at my friends in stuff, I didn't feel any different really except maybe a bit more empty. Sure there's the initial "Yeah! i'm better than ya ^^" but that doesn't last long and after a small while, there's really nothing after that point. It's easy to feel depressed if it seems like you're not better than anyone at anything, but I personally don't really mind because in the end, as long as you stay cool with those better than you, then you can use them for help to get better, and then suddenly you'll find that you're in a much better position than other people :D That may lead into "did you earn it?" And the answer to that is, pretty much XD Let's take music for example. It doesn't matter how good you are with a guitar, you just gotta know a guy. The music field is all about contacts and knowing a guy who knows a guy who just happens to be that guy who runs this section that can get into contact with THE guy XD
And then once she helps you out a bit and makes you all happy/rich/whatever, is when you can both truly start, and even fund your own specialized territory to start doing something that you may truly enjoy (Assuming you don't enjoy that one path that you had help getting to)
The way the whole system is set up is kinda bullshit -.- In the end, it's designed to be manipulated, it's designed for you to know a guy. Like for me, I got super lucky. I'm gonna be quite rich fairly soon(ish) Why? Because I just happened to meet a guy who has a plan (Who I helped perfect it a bit ^^), and he has the resources to make that plan a reality.
Also around my place for example, good luck getting a job unless you know someone who can give you special treatment.
My point? Don't be salty about your sisters success, encourage it and then in the end, her great success may rub off on you and give you success ^^ You may not have that mindset (You may not even want that mindset o.o) But all the above are suggestions. Food for thought. If you don't like it in it's entirety, then perhaps take it, modify it, and then turn it into something that's more you. It sounds like you're stressing over just about everything o.o I'm saying that you may not need to. I don't know your situation enough to give you any true pointers or anything, but your position may not be as bad as you may think it is in the end, but is just being blown out of proportion because of how many things have added up on you. Maybe if you go down the list one by one, truly think about each individual thing, you may find that at least some of the stuff you're stressed about isn't exactly as big of a deal as you may be thinking for now.
