Most Embarrassing Story Time!

I twisted my ankle at a haunted house so I spent like an hour there running in horror with a limp

Junior year of high school I ended up riding in a trunk of a car

I ripped my pants clean in 2 in elementary school

Running on wet floors always lead me to smacking my head on the floor

Once as a kid I was dragged through a pond by a dog

I pulled the lever on a wagon which flipped it over and sent me and two of my cousins tumbling down a hill when we were kids

Hiding in thorn bushes is never fun

Having a drunk conversation with Grandma in lost vegas, after being kicked out of a bar

Getting stopped by a cop for peeing on a beach in the dark

Running into many many walls over the years

Being kicked out of a bar in North Carolina and then waking up with a cramp in one leg and the other wrapped in blankets so getting up caused me to crash into the nearby table

Falling over drunk and being unable to get back up

Getting walked in on my family

I'll stop here for now...
 
I devoured a child's soul one time...



...later that day I had the runs...



...let's just say the sounds that came out of my anus belonged in a horror film. Y'know, the screaming-demon-exorcism kind.
 
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I once ran from the cops... Naked... Through the woods... It took hours... There was much shrubbery and underbrush.
 
Whooey... How do I pick just one.

A. While writing a chapter in Legend of Renalta, I forgot that Lycanthropes are allergic (read: deadly allergic) to silver. The character I was portraying proposed to one with a silver wedding ring, then got confused as to why she said "yes!" but wouldn't wear the ring.

I felt completely retarded. Like offering a glass of milk to someone who is lactose intolerant and wondering why they say "oh no thanks".

B. I have two large scars criss-crossing through my left eyebrow. Considering the number of fights I've been in and stupid shit I've done to myself, this has got to top the list as the most embarrassing: The first one I got rolling about in a box when I was five years old, I smacked my head on the corner of the sharp stove when I fell out of the box. ("Why were you playing in a box?!" I WAS POOR, IT WAS ENTERTAINMENT! I think! Hell if I know what my five year old ass was thinking!) The second one I got in Kindergarten playing a game called "humpty dumpty", everyone would sing the song and the kid sitting on the chair would fall down. I fell down and smacked my head on the corner of a counter.

Two of my most prominent scars: Falling out of a box and falling off of a chair.

Every time I look at them I remember this incredible valuable lesson: My young ass was stupid.
 
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13 year old me embarrassed the hell out of myself one December in front of my crush of the time (who I'd liked for a good 2 years). My swim team had all our backpacks on deck and we'd gone inside to run before swimming, because the field was muddy from rain earlier in the day. Upon going inside it started pouring rain again onto our uncovered bags, and I flipped out and ran over to get my precious Razor phone before it was ruined with the water.

And just my luck, I slid and fell on my ass, managing to make everyone on my team laugh.

DON'T RUN ON A POOL DECK, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT IS WET WITH A THIN LAYER OF ICE ON IT.
 
When I was like 14 maybe 15, what was really popular [at my school, not sure about other places] were trackpants that buttoned down along the entire side of your legs. So I had one of those on and we were having Boy's P.E. (Boys had P.E. Monday and Wednesday, Girls had P.E. Tuesdays and Thursdays, and there was a Co-Ed P.E. on Friday) Anyways, we were playing touch [American] football (cause our poor school didn't have the means to provide football gear during P.E., so we couldn't do tackle football.)

I was not the most athletic, but I was decent, and by some miraculous miracle from God, I intercepted a pass and ran to my team's endzone. Another guy--his name was J.P.--was hot on my tail. And so I ran as fast as I could and he couldn't tag me with both hands. So he reached out to grab me, but he grabbed my trackpants...

And literally ripped the thing right off my then scrawny Asian booty.

I covered my tighty whities screaming "Ahhhhh!"

He dangled my trackpants screaming "Haa-haa-haa!"

And literally the P.E. instructor and everyone else was on the ground breathless from laughter.
 
Once upon a time in Ghost land, I was was the one holding a birthday cake to take to the person so they can blow out the candles. Long Story short, I dropped it and felt terrible. I still cringe when I remmember it today.

June 18th, 2009 was the date
 
When I was five or so, I gave myself a black eye... In my sleep no less.

Another one was when I was 16. I was wearing a pair of those button-up-at-the-side track pants and one side came completely undone while I was walking to the cafeteria. At the peak time for crowds. Thankfully, a friend of mine was right next to me when it happened and kept that side covered until I could sit down and do them back up
 
Does my entire life count as an embarrassing story
 
I've had a rather embarrsing day if that helps *hides head in sand* noooo I don't wanna go into it, it was that embarrsing..
 
In high school my mother had an Acura MDX SUV of a greyish color. My eyesight is terrible, and I was always picked up in the same place after school ended by that same vehicle. On one particular afternoon I was awaiting my mom to arrive in that car, and upon seeing it pull up at the curb, picked up my stuff and walked over to it, completely within my own thoughts. I didn't look at the car much; it was the exact same thing as my mom's car.

So I go up to the car, open up the shotgun-side door, and hop right in. I turn around and...

...there's this Asian woman staring at me as if I was about to detonate a bomb. She goes, "Woah!" and I just burst into fits of apologies, backing out of the car slowly while bowing, my face red as the blood spilled from a recently-eviscerated jugular. As I'm apologizing, this guy, Andrew Wong, is standing right next to me. He asks, "What are you doing?" and I just explain in utter exasperation that his mother had the same car model as my mother; same make, same year, same accessories, same color, same cleanliness. I just walk away with my head bowed, utterly embarrassed. Eventually my mom did come, and I apologized to Andrew Wong over Facebook, asking him to relay the apology to his mother.

Ugh.
 
Let me tell you the story of how I met the person who would become one of my best friends (and is now my roommate).

We were in eighth grade. I'd just had music class and was staring to make my way to the Eighth Grade Hall on the other side of the school. The halls are packed with people rushing to their next class and I'm clinging to my crutches for dear life as I navigate the sea of people, looking at the ground so I don't trip anyone or myself. Things are going well, all things considered. And then I look up just in the nick of time to have something crash into me and knock me on my ass.

A crowd starts forming around us almost immediately (because 'ohmigod someone knocked the disabled girl down') meanwhile this blonde kid and I are just staring at one another in shock. Eventually he squeaks out a 'sorry' and runs out of there like a bat out of hell as I'm pushing myself up off the floor.

We were properly introduced by a mutual friend about two months later.

(It was like something out of Rom-Com anime, we decided years later, except for the distinct lack of Shōjo bubbles in the background)
 
This morning in the grocery store, I laughed at something a stranger said and farted really loud.
 
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I remembered another one.

When I was fourteen, I went in for a major surgery (a partial hamstring release) to help with my Cerebral Palsy. Anyway I had to stay overnight in the hospital. So it's like 11 at night, the Valium is starting to wear off and the morphine they're pumping into me via IV drip isn't enough to keep me knocked out apparently, so I wake up and I'm nauseous. Like, turning green, room spinning, lean over the side, close your eyes and hope for the best nauseous. I can tell it's only a matter of time before I puke.

The K-pan is, naturally, on the other side of the room and both my legs are in casts. So I ring the nurse. She didn't get there fast enough.

Doped up as I was, I have enough sense to lean over the side as I'm sick so it's on the floor and not my lap.

That's not the embarrassing part. The embarrassing part was that I burst into hysterical tears and started apologizing for being sick (I must have said "I'm sorry" over 50 times in a minute) and saying that I'm an awful terrible person. Meanwhile this nurse is cleaning me up and calming me down and telling me it's "no big deal sweeite, really it's okay" and I still can't stop apologizing. (As my friend put it, "You apologized to a nurse, a person who deals with sick people everyday, for being sick. Honey you apologize to much")
 
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1) My brother asked for my blessing to date my ex-girlfriend.

2) Went to take out the garbage in culinary school. Bag exploded before I could take it out of the kitchen. It was also my fault it exploded, because I poured liquid into it. Imagine a red faced and eared me hiding under a floppy hat mopping. Also ended up almost arguing with the school janitor because I forgot to ask for permission to use the mop.

3) I drank way to much cheap whiskey and vodka punch with my roommates one night. In the middle of an awesome conversation I went "be right back" and vomited in the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and just continued the conversation like nothing happened. My roommates were laughing their asses off.
 
I will only post the first of many drunken Toellner stories:

During my freshman year I met a girl, this girl ended up being a very horrible person and turning my best friend against me, using us, then dumping us both from some random guy.

One weekend I was expresively invited to two parties, and I thought it would be smart to travel in between these two places via bike. As I became more intoxicated, my ability to properly ride a bike was diminishing. As the night settled down, I got on my bike to go home. Along the way, I saw this girl, her guy pal, and some of her friends. So I whizzed by at top speed, flipping them a finger yelling "FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" I promptly ran into one of those concrete parking stop things and front-flipped off the bike.
 
Cpt Toellner said:
I will only post the first of many drunken Toellner stories:
Click to expand...
Cpt Toellner said:
During my freshman year I met a girl, this girl ended up being a very horrible person and turning my best friend against me, using us, then dumping us both from some random guy.
Click to expand...
Cpt Toellner said:
One weekend I was expresively invited to two parties, and I thought it would be smart to travel in between these two places via bike. As I became more intoxicated, my ability to properly ride a bike was diminishing. As the night settled down, I got on my bike to go home. Along the way, I saw this girl, her guy pal, and some of her friends. So I whizzed by at top speed, flipping them a finger yelling "FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" I promptly ran into one of those concrete parking stop things and front-flipped off the bike.
Click to expand...
Actually, wait, I do actually know what my most embarrassing moment is.

I said "Fuck" on air for this guy's radio show for an on-call interview, and tried covering my self up by repeatedly saying that "this thread is now about ducks" while still on air.
 
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Lol, I fucked those interviews up sooo badly.
 
I might as well relay this... I was about 15 or 16 standing outside talking with some friends after church had ended for the evening. I was wearing some tight black pants that I loved. All of a sudden, I let out a silent fart, and the entire area would not stop stinking. I head inside to the bathroom, and to my horror, I shat myself. It escaped the confines of my underwear, ruining my favorite pair of pants forever. No one said anything about it.

And then there's the stupid shit that I most generally say. That happens way too much.

-Edit- You might say that it was a shitty story.
 
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