Monster House

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The bearded man offered a faint smirk at the surprisingly fierce response from the human, before shrugging in brief reply and wandering back into the dining room to sit at his usual chair. The three housemates had spent literal centuries together, all while being confined to the house, so it would be fair to assume that they argued frequently over the littlest of things. That was true, of course-- but that was typical of any close family. Little arguments arose but were always resolved because they loved one another, and that was the reason that, for literally every day, the main meal was eaten with all three sat at the table. No matter what arguments had gone on (usually between Anna and Adalius), they would always come together to eat again, which was why Adalius sat at his usual spot and fully expected Anna to join them. Besides, he didn't think she would miss the opportunity to see Montague bashfully and awkwardly explain why he wasn't eating the meal he had slaved over. Montague couldn't eat anything, or drink, and there was only so much time that could pass, and so many excuses he could make, before it became suspicious.

"Tuck in, don't wait for me-- to tell you the truth, I'm not entirely hungry. You know how it is. You slave away at a meal all day and then you aren't quite so ravenous to tuck into it. Maybe I'll eat my share of the meal when your sister arrives back, Jonathan," smiled said ghost, perching at his comfortable chair at the head of the table, after pouring out the three glasses of wine, having set out a plate ready for Anna. "Tell me how it tastes, at least. It's my Mother's old recipe, I'm... sure it tastes delightful. Mother would be so happy to know I use her recipes on actual guests who may appreciate them. Adalius has no refined palate, and Anna... she rarely eats, actually."​
 
"Hey, as long as it's a proper, hot meal, I'm not complaining. It could be actual trash with some spaghetti sauce, and I'd probably eat it with some salt and pepper." He admitted, while taking a seat casually. He had already gotten used to Montague's weird behaviors, so him not eating that moment wasn't crazy. Some people preferred leftovers, right? Of course, the air grew heavy as Anna wandered down the stairs to notice her usual seat had been taken by the human.

Unlike Adalius, she remained quiet, which was scarier than yelling. It was foreign for her not to sit right next to Momtague, as she had done every day, but she was simply going to let her upset simmer. With a small smile, she whispered a thank you towards Montague before pouring them all a proper cup of wine.
 
Having seemingly forgotten that Anna's seat had been taken, mostly due to dreamily smiling at Jonathan and fussing over him to make sure he was happy, the ghost did feel a pang of guilt at Anna's less than subtle silence. Having had dinner together every day for decades, he did feel disgusted with himself for being too besotted with Jonathan to notice he had unwittingly taken the vampire's seat-- though to prevent fussing, he simply sent her an apologetic smile and moved on. He would apologise profusely later on, after all.

"...I'm going out later," blurted Adalius quietly, with a defiant glance to his ex-girlfriend. "You know, I might go and get a proper haircut and stuff. Clean myself up. I'm a slob, apparently--"

"We weren't being mean, Adalius. You are rather lazy, and I certainly feel you could do with a nice haircut. You used to be so handsome..." sighed Montague, who sat back against the back of the chair and hummed thoughtfully to himself. "Oh, you should have seen him, Jonathan. He was stunning. Not as cute as you, g-gosh no, but rugged and manly... It's mainly why I hired him as a butler here, to be honest. Anna certainly didn't mind me hiring him, did you~? I remember she got all bashful and red in the face~"​
 
"No, I fully intended to be mean. If we're not mean to you, you never do anything. It's only when we taunt you do you get off your ass." Anna replied simply, while absently picking up the fork and knife to cut into the meat, her eyes glancing at the pieces to make sure they were particularly raw, as she liked it. She took small bites, while keeping her eyes down coolly, and left Jonathan to awkwardly watch.

"You know I care about you, Adalius, but you really do need to work on yourself. You've got a beautiful build, and handsome figure, you just need to really patch yourself up. I would love to paint you again, after all. Even Montague lets me paint him, and he's terribly shy. I'd even go as far as to pay for your haircut."
 
"Says the woman that earlier claimed to absolutely love my beard, that I'm too lazy to shave off. What is it, seriously? Do you hate how I look, or like it? Seriously it's a lot of mixed messages," replied the demon. If it had just been the three of them, he would have stuck up his middle finger playfully and laughed off their casual insults of his current state. However, with Jonathan present, the demon did feel beyond irritated that something so personal was being aired in front of the human, hence the overly defensive display.

"Just go and get that haircut is all. You'll like a million times better, and... if you let Anna paint you, I'm sure it'll pay off. Anna will certainly see that you're dedicated to her... and she wants you to start showing some commitment, don't you?" Smiled Montague, leaning across to give his close friend a slight nudge. Sure, he wasn't the biggest fan of the two together, but he preferred that to them both sulking around, avoiding one another in case things got heated.​
 
Despite her cool composure, the baby pink that rose to her cheeks was just unsubtle enough to be noticed, even in the dim light of the kitchen. She put it off, though, and would simply say it was just her growing s bit under the weather, despite knowing that Adalius and Montague knew she was practically impervious to illness. Being a vampire had it's perks, sure, though she would much rather prefer to go out in the day if it meant she would get the flu every now and then.
 
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"Last time she painted me, she bit my neck and things got messy," mumbled the demon, being subtle enough to hide just what had happened from the human, but had been unsubtle in openly admitting that he had been bitten. It was nothing new, not really. If anything, it just indicated that the two had been a little rough-- but it was probably best left unsaid. Not that he remotely cared. By now, Adalius had the reputation for blurting stuff out without caring about the consequence. It was a wonder how he hadn't told Jonathan he was flirting with a ghost.​
 
"Hey, I'm not going to yuck your yums, guys. Sometimes kinky shit can be good," Jonathan replied awkwardly, while offering a laugh as he cut into the meat and took a solid bite. "I mean, the last person I was with was into far worse. I'm glad I'm not with them anymore, huh?"

"It's not like that!" Squeaked Anna, the scene being a bit surprising as she physically slammed the knife and fork on table. "Let's not talk about this, it isn't appropriate for dinner conversation!"
 
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"Yes, this isn't q-quite... appropriate. I don't like talking about... sex, not at the dinner table. How is the meal, Jonathan? Is it nice? I can fetch you more. Mother always told me it was best to cook too much than not cook enough. Granted, we waste a lot of food, b-but I'd rather waste it than have anyone remain hungry. That's such a faux pas..."

"Oh yes, Jonathan. How is the meal? Is it perfect?" Adalius cooed, mocking his best friend's less than subtle obsession with the nearby human. "Honestly, why don't you just kiss him and put us out of our misery, Monty? I can't deal with-- whatever this is. It's fucking annoying."​
 
Clearly oblivious, Jonathan stopped as he stared at the three, a brow raised. He had a naturally friendly and flirty personality, and treated almost all of his friend as he did with Montague. (That isn't to say he didn't have a bit of a squish for the boy). When told by Adalius, he naturally offered a wide grin towards the ghost.

"I'm not offended by a quick kiss, Monty. I mean, you are awfully cute. I don't think the dinner table is appropriate, though, and I'm pretty hungry. If you really like me, I'd love to have a quick make out session." He offered honestly, as he continued to chew his food. Of course, he ignored Anna's angry glares towards both him and Adalius, preferring to keep the mood light.
 
"I'm not a huge fan of... romantic relations before marriage, but hey, this is the 21st century, right? I can totally kiss you and not care. I'll throw caution to the wind a-and... I think maybe we can have a little kiss after dessert? I've never kissed anyone, other than Adalius, but he was incredibly drunk and said he wanted to experiment with his sexuality. It was all very embarrassing for the both of us," continued Montague, apparently unable to realise when he had overstepped the mark with some of his comments. He didn't have a filter when he was excited and happy, and the prospect of a kiss with Jonathan did mean that these sorts of revelations just came tumbling from him when, in a more relaxed setting, he wouldn't dream of being so open.

Thankfully, Adalius didn't seem to care too much. Anna knew about it, it had been before they began to date, so there wasn't too much controversy involved at all. Hell, he often brought it up to deliberately tease Montague at times, or to get under Anna's skin - whoever he decided to torment that day. "You're really going to do that, Monty? With that kid? I mean, he's not an old-fashioned gentleman with traditional values. Ain't that your type? Anna said you liked that show with the gymnasts because of all the muscular guys. Jonny here ain't muscular, is he?"​
 
"Well, I'm certainly not like those guys on the television, but I've got some muscle," he joked, offering a wink suggestively as he continued to casually munch on the food. After all, if his sister were here, she would have stopped him by now. Without her, he wasn't in much control of his mouth. It was harmless flirting though, in his eyes, and he wasn't hurting anyone.

Meanwhile, Anna got to her feet to wander to the kitchen. Since the 60's, she had collected piles upon piles of Tupperware, and it seemed she lost all appetite. Much like Montague, casual talk of sex wasn't really her forte. When she was having sex, that was a different story, but she knew that Montague was so blind and oblivious to the whole thing. She scooped up her practically raw meat, set in into the Tupperware properly, and offered a smile to the men.
 
"You... You aren't eating with us? Oh Anna, please sit down? Y-You never leave the table early. I'll tell Adalius to shut his mouth if that's what it takes to keep you sat down. A-Adalius, please do shut up--"

"Why? She likes being dramatic. She does it on purpose because she wants the attention, don't you? Is the fact that there's another girl in the house threatening to you? Are you afraid I'll pursue that Madelyn girl instead of constantly chasing you? Oh Anna, you are predictable," drawled the demon as slowly as he dared, just to drink in the moment and watching the reaction on her expression. "If you want me, Anna, you should stop being such an icy bitch."​
 
"I'll sit back down if Adalius shuts the fuck up, and keeps the dinner conversation appropriate. Call me an icy bitch all you want, but I don't need to deal with this if I don't want to. I'm sorry, Montague, but I'm really not hungry anyway. You know I like my night time snacking, so maybe I'll go out. I dunno, all I know is that I don't want to deal with Adalius if he's going to be like this." She insisted, before offering a thin-lipped smile.
 
"You're going out? Hey, why don't I join you? We can go get that haircut I want and then I can help you with what you want to do. Oh come on, it'll be cute to go out. I can't exactly stay here, either. Not with those two. Montague has no idea how to flirt, and I can physically feel myself cringe. You know, he felt horrible even saying 'sex'. He keeps mouthing it, or spelling it out. I thought you'd taught him to act cool, Anna?" Grumbled the demon, apparently getting over his rudeness to her in seconds the moment she mentioned she was heading out. Having jumped at the chance to escape being a third wheel, he grabbed his denim jacket and joined Anna's side. "I mean, I'll even let you choose my hairstyle for me? Is that an incentive to get going quickly? Just don't choose something fucking really modern. Modern styles are shit."​
 
"My hair is considered modern," she replied flatly, as she rummaged through the closet for her own black, double breasted jacket. She WOULD glance at the mirror to check her makeup, though grimaced when she saw nothing. She had perfected her makeup anyway, she would tell herself, before grabbing a proper, oversized scarf and an umbrella. It was late in the evening, but she wanted to make sure not a single ray of sun could hit her. Had to be careful when you could burn up, after all. With that, she said a quick goodbye before setting a timer on her watch for an hour.

"Let's go, then. I was going to go to the bar and get a proper dinner, though I guess I can just wait until tomorrow. You owe me, you know that? Out of everyone here, you got the least problems, honestly. You can go out whenever you want. It's not fair."
 
"Hey, I can only go out for an hour, like you. And how on earth do I owe you? You like coming out with me. Fine, I'll help you get a meal tomorrow, how about that? I like helping you. I think it's pretty hot when you get all vampiric like that. I'd much prefer to be like you. Vampires are in, Anna. Have you seen how many kids dress up like that for Halloween?" He grumbled, albeit with a widening grin on his face. He may have been insulting and cutting, but it didn't stop him reaching for her hand and pressing in close for warmth. They did have this long, often complex history together, and it meant that he was able to get over an argument because he saw the bigger picture.​
 
Instead of pushing away, she happily accepted the close embrace as she held the parasol over her head. She was a walking goth stereotype, though she would never admit. It came with the whole 'vampire' thing, anyway. It was hilarious to see the edgy art students who hung around the bar in their Tripp pants and spiked hair, claiming to be 'creature of the night", only to be sucked dry by an actual vampire. If she could use that for a meal, though, she wasn't going to complain.

"You better. I can only eat so much raw meat in front of the humans before they get suspicious. I think this all is a bad idea, but we need the extra money. Do you know how tempted I was to suck that girl dry for her attitude? Montague would have us killed if he found out, though..."
 
"1) Montague's a ghost, how much can he actually do to hurt us? 2) I don't think he'd ever have us killed inside his precious home. Blood stains are a havoc to remove, he knows that, and he won't dream of getting it all over his Egyptian cotton sheets. He can barely get the blood stains off your clothes when you come home after feeding, babe. It's a good thing you don't wear anything other than black. I think you'd make Monty go insane if he tried getting stains out of something white," droned the demon in amusement, happy to poke fun out of their best friend. He adored Monty as much as Anna did, but the ghost was admittedly an easy target, with his inability -or blatant refusal- to even act like a modern, 21st century man. He couldn't change his clothes, but he could at least try to fit in now they had guests... but he was apparently happy to make himself look odd by not even knowing what the Internet was.

"He likes 'em both, even the girl. Trust me, they'll leave eventually when we freak them out too much. It's inevitable. Then Monty will get depressed for awhile until the next batch of humans come along for him to fawn over. Hopefully not druggies this time. I could do without smelling weed all over the goddamn house."​
 
"I really don't know why you think it smells so bad. If anything, it smells like that mold from a few years back. Granted, I don't think it was very safe... I guess that's one thing good that has come out of our situation." She murmured, while eyeing the occasional passerby cautiously. Scoffing at the humans that would pause and watch the two, she offered a smile towards the demon instead.

"I didn't mean kill us literally, but I seriously don't want to hear him cry in distress if something happens. Look, I may not like these two kids, but it makes him happy, I don't care. What I do care about is having my seat taken by some nobody. It isn't fair to be replaced by someone who just showed up, you know?"
 
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