Missing Pieces

For a few more minutes, Ashlyn stared blankly into space, her face having no emotion.
Soon when she came back to reality, she blinked and realized Darren in a chair beside her bed.

Her legs were pulled to her chest and her arms wrapped around them, as Ash let out a small and quiet, shaky sigh while putting her chin on her knees. 'Say something..'

(Sorry for the short post! >.<)
 
(;D No worries, mine haven't been extremely long paragraphs either. I shall strive to do better.)

Darren

The older Thomspon gave her a halfhearted smile, not exactly sure what to do. She didn't appear as though she was getting ready for bed, and he wasn't keen on just abandoning her after she wished to be tucked in. So after a few more minutes of contemplation, he placed his hands on his knees and gave her a goofy smile.

He chirped in a soft and happy voice, "You wanna hear a story, Ash?"

It took him quite some time to come up with a story, preferably something that his baby sister would be interested in. All the stories he was told as a child had to do with the same ending, and although they were fine, he wasn't satisfied with giving her one of those simple stories. That was if she even wanted to hear a story, she was getting old enough that she may be offended by the mere assumption of such a thing. If so, he would tread lightly.
 
For a second or two she did nothing, thinking about the question. But not long after she sat up, and nodded subtly.

She carefully got under her covers and decided to sleep on her back this time. Once she was comfortable, she rested her hands on her stomach and closed her eyes.

She was always one to sleep on her stomach and hug her pillow when she sleeps, but of course, she can't do that now. So she laid with only her head peeking out from the covers, her eyes closed and mind waiting for Darren's voice.
 
(Not my story. It is called "The Most Beautiful Heart" & from what I know, the author is unknown.)

Darren

Daren spoke in a soft voice, narrating a story he had once heard before. Although the words were not all matching, the point behind it was the same.

"One day, in a heavily crowded place, a young man was shouting at the crowd.
'People look at me; I have the most beautiful heart in the world.'

Many people looked at him and were stunned to see the beautiful heart in a perfect shape, no little flaw, which looked quite amazing. Most of the people who saw his heart was mesmerized by the beauty of his heart and praised him.
However, there came an old man and challenged the young man, 'No my son, I have got the most beautiful heart in the world!'

The young man asked, 'Show me your heart, then!'

The old man showed his heart to him. It was very rough, uneven, and had scars all over the heart. Also, the heart was not in shape, appeared like bits and pieces joined together in various colors. There were some rough edges, some part of the heart were removed and filled with other pieces.

The heart of the old man simply looked like various pieces of heart joined together and formed as a heart.

The young man started laughing at his heart, 'My dear old man, are you mad? See, my heart! How beautiful and flawless it is. You cannot find even a bit of imperfection in my heart. See, yours. It is full of scars, wounds and blemishes. How can you say your heart is beautiful?'

'Dear boy, my heart is just so beautiful as your heart is. Did you see the scars? Each scar represents the love I shared with a person. I share a piece of heart with others when I share love and in return I get a piece of heart, which I fix at the place where I had torn a piece!' said the old man.

The young man was shocked.

And the old man continued. "Since the pieces of heart I shared were neither equal nor in the same shape or size, my heart is full of uneven edges and bits and pieces."

"My heart is not in shape because sometimes I never get the love in return from those I gave it. So where do you see the real beauty? Your heart which looks fresh and fuller with no scars which indicates you never shared love with anybody. Did you?"

The young man stood still and never spoke a word. Tears rolled down his cheeks. He walked to the old man, tore a piece of his heart and gave the piece to the old man."
​
Darren smiled softly at his baby sister, gently patting her head. He knew one things, Ashlyn had a truly beautiful heart. It may have been scarred, torn, broken and torched, but it showed the love she had for the people she lost. Sometimes though scars are a good thing, sometimes they help people get better and grow up.
 
Ash's eyebrows were furrowed as she saw the story in her head. It made her sad. She felt bad for both of the males, and it also reminded her of her current situation.

Did she have scares on her heart now too? And pieces replaced with pieces by Darren?... Her parents?

Ashlyn took a small but deep breath to keep her tears back yet again, and opened her eyes to look at the ceiling; it would be too much to look at Dar.

She spoke very quietly, and her voice sounded naive and curious, but her voice also had the smallest hint of melancholy in it.

"So... does my heart have scars now too?"
 
Darren

If anything, Darren felt like a supreme idiot. He shouldn't have assumed she would get the moral to the story, and even now he questioned if there really was one. His heart hurt terribly at her tone of voice.

"Yup, Ash. Just like mine, but you know what? That makes us stronger then everyone else," he tried to lighten it up.

"Too soon," he chided himself, "You bumbling idiot you! How could you tell her such a depressing story? What type of big brother are you? You monster!" He mentally kicked himself a few times for good measures.

This is why he didn't become a psychologist. Those guys had it tough. He could solve problems through medication and surgery. The psychologists had to talk and react properly. Yes, they could give meds, but most of their jobs had to do with emotions. Darren was a male, he didn't do well with emotions. Or at least he didn't admit it.
 
She nodded subtly in reply, again not saying anything else. She carefully laid on her right side and pulled the bear into her with her right hand.

She stared at nothing specific, and then closed her eyes, a small yawn escaping her lips.

She was tired now, but she didn't want to go back to sleep, in a way. What if she had another nightmare again? Her tired eyes opened again slowly, squinting as she tried to keep her eyes open and not fall asleep.

Her face was slightly pale. It was noticeable, but not so noticeable that someone would make a big deal about it. There were slight tired lines under her eyes. Ash didn't look terrible, but at the same time, she didn't look together.
 
Darren

The man was hesitant to leave, mainly because she hadn't quite fallen asleep yet. Then again he could be the reason why for he did not appreciate it when someone was staring at him as he was trying to sleep. Deciding it was for the best, he put his hand on her shoulder for a comforting pat before he stood up to leave the room.

"Night Ashlyn, sweet dreams," he whispered.

His footsteps were slow and patient. He did not believe that he would get much or any sleep, not because he was not tired. No, the man was physically and mentally exhausted, nearly to the point of a complete shut down. He just didn't feel as though he would be able to sleep after such a scare, and if Ashlyn woke up again, he would be to her in a mere second. Picking up his bat, he went to head out of her bedroom door.
 
"Wait." Her voice was sleepy and soft, and of course quiet.

She didn't want to have another bad dream, at least if she was going to be alone. Her eyes closed as she almost talked half-asleep, but she was still aware of what was going on, though on the edge of sleep.

"Can you stay in here?"
 
Darren

"Of course, Ash," he mumbled.

He stopped and turned around, navigating back to the chair next to her bed. It wasn't like he was going to get some sleep anyway, so as he sat down quietly, he thought about what he was going to do in the silence.

It finally hit him with full force, instead of feeling that numb throb in his chest, it was a full fledged punch to the stomach that knocked the breath out of him. He was going to have to raise a kid, a child, his baby sister. Raise a kid! Not help with the occasional task that came with it, no he was doing this all by himself. His parents weren't there to help him anymore. He couldn't talk to them anymore, he couldn't give them hugs, he could brag about how he was doing, and he wouldn't hear them tell him about how proud they were of Ashlyn and him.

"Oh god," he thought, finally taking it all in.

He had to work, raise a kid, and take care of himself all alone. There was not backup or help coming. It was just him between the world and his baby sister. Their parents weren't coming back. They were gone. Dead! Never ever going to return. In the back of his mind, he knew this was going to hit him eventually. The whole ordeal was locked up in his mind, and he was too busy taking care of Ash, filling out papers, planning the funerals, talking with work, or whatever else he was doing to really accept the fact that they were gone.
 
Ash sleepily stared at Darren in the light of the room, watching him think. She wondered what he was thinking about. Usually, when her mom and dad would think, they would never tell her what it was about. Or sometimes they would talk in hushed voices and tell Ashlyn it's grown up stuff. Even though she disliked being excluded, now she would do anything to be left out again, by her mom and dad.

She blinked slowly and gently pulled her blanket up higher to her chin. "Are you okay?" Ashyln asked, not realizing the variety of situations the question could refer to. What she meant was, "What are you thinking about?"
 
Darren

He was never one to lie to his baby sister, but being honest at that moment was probably not in her best interest. She didn't need to know the stresses he was under for he was aware it would add to hers. The last thing Darren wanted was to stress out Ashlyn anymore than she already was.

"I'm fine, Ash. Or at least I think I will be. Just thinking about all the stuff I have to do now," he stretched the truth thinly. "I'm also thinking about what we are doing tomorrow," that part was the straight out lie.

He gave her a small smile, trying to comfort her in the slightest. Yet at the same time knowing that it probably wouldn't help due to the circumstances they were both in. If only a smile could solve all you problems.

"Are you okay, Ashlyn," he asked cautiously.

She had initiated the feeling subject, and he was intent on getting her to talk a bit more. His little sister took it all in a stride, which made him worry all the more. It was not natural, nor was it healthy. He even forgot the fact that she should be getting some sleep, to focused on having this conversation.
 
Her eyes flickered an emotion that couldn't be made out before her eyes looked away from Darren's, looking into the distance past him. She was focused on what he said, about doing something tomorrow, but was caught off guard by his question. What did he mean?

A small portion of the pain hit her, what is happening. Mommy was gone. Daddy was gone. The part that they're actually dead and not coming back still hadn't hit her, it was surprising.

Ash turned over to her left side, but carefully so she wouldn't hurt her hand. If only it could heal in an instant. She didn't answer her brother. Would she start crying if she did? Sob? What would she say? Would everything hit her at once?

She wished she could understand.

Ashlyn stared at the wall, her back facing Darren. Her eyes searched nothing in particular, her mind now distant.
 
Darren

At the sign of her turning her back on him, he was sure he had triggered something in her that was not to be poked at or prodded. Grief was supposed to be taken at the pace the receiver had over it. Be it decades, years, or days. Regret stroked his mind, and he had only wished he had waited for the therapist to ask the question instead of him.

He didn't know how to react to kids when they had nothing to console them. Usually he would dote on Ashlyn when she was sad. Buying her teddy bears, dolls, stickers, glitter, whatever would make her cheer up a bit. He didn't know how to deal with all the emotional stuff. He wasn't a dad, just an extremely confused big brother who didn't know what to do or say.

He apologized in a hushed whisper, "I'm sorry, Ashlyn."

And he was truly sorry. He did not intentionally want to give his sister unnecessary pain. Nor did he need to rush her through the shock. She was a little girl and it would take her time to recover such a accident.
 
Ash didn't respond. She just laid there, almost as still as she would be is she had fallen asleep. Or died.

Her eyes were blank and dull, partly from being so sleepy and also from... everything.

She wasn't used to being up this late, and trying to keep her eyes open wasn't necessarily an activity she was enjoying. She didn't feel like talking, no not now. But she wished to sleep it off, so she asked in her very quiet voice while staring at the wall, "Can you tuck me in now?"
 
Darren

The doctor nodded despite her not seeing it, and he stood to lean over and tuck the blankets under her, making her snug. He didn't leave the room though, not keen on scaring her out of her dreamlike state. He leaned back into the chair, waiting to be dismissed or waiting for her to fall asleep. Whenever either of those two things came, he would leave and decide to do whatever had to be done for sleep would not grace him that night.

Although his own eyes were droopy and tired, he knew that as soon as he fell into a light sleep he would jump awake in a paranoid fit. If the house even creaked, his overactive mind would deduct something outrageous. He was not keen on becoming mildly paranoid and getting so close to the edge of sleep before being oh so cruelly denied of it.
 
The younger sibling felt the blanket go over her, but she didn't really pay attention because she was on the verge of sleep. In a way, it was kind of pointless to have herself tucked in.

But it did give her some comfort, emotionally, before her eyes closed. Within a minute of asking, her breathing became softer and her body became more still as she fell asleep. Her face looked calm, much different from her being awake. When she was conscious, her face would look scared or nervous, or distracted. She was always distracted somehow. Now she had something to distract her for a while.

The room was now silent and dimly lit, the light from the sky coming in through the glass window. Trees outside swayed. That was the only noise that could be heard, other than the brother's presence.
 
[BCOLOR=#000000]Darren[/BCOLOR]

As soon as Ashlyn fell into the deep lull of a strong sleep, he slipped out, and set himself to do some productive work. His mind ached as the bright screen of his computer flashed on, but he pushed away the dull aching with a slight grimace. If he couldn't find purchase in sleep, he would find some benefit in helping others. Slipping through files, studying, and learning more and more were a part of Darren's being.

It seemed as time flew by, although it truly stretched for never ending hours of head aches and tired fingers. He knew he would have dark circles under his eyes when he awoke, but he did not mind. It was a little price to pay, and he wouldn't have received a single bit of sleep when he was in such a state. He found himself in the kitchen somehow, throwing things here and there. Ashlyn had yet to awaken, so he hadn't quite decided what to make for breakfast.

Darren often found himself going without such a thing, mainly because he forgot. But since he had Ash now, he had not such excuse to forget. Sure, he could forget his own health, but if anything happened to poor Ash because of him, he would have died of guilt.
 
Her face was in almost a twist of pain as her right hand gripped her pillow with almost a deathly hold. Her body was tense as she let out a groan of pain in her sleep. Of course, she was having another nightmare. But it wasn't as bad as they were before this time, at least.

Ashlyn awoke with a start, her tired eyes wide and scared, and her body hot from tossing and turning all night. She, after a few seconds, came to realization that it was just a dream- well, sort of - and her breathing calmed. Ash's right hand combed through her now messy hair that had fallen out of its ponytail. Where the hairband went, she didn't know; and she didn't feel like looking for it either.

She waited until she was in the bathroom with the door closed to start crying, but quietly. She didn't want to draw attention to herself. She was in realization of what's actually going on, yet, she hadn't reached her breakdown yet. It was weird.

After washing her face and drying her tears, she quietly walked downstairs after debating if she should get back in bed or not. She could use a little TV. The sister heard some noise coming from the kitchen, but ignored it, making a right for the living room.

It was chilly in there today. Goosebumps ran up her arms, causing her to cross her arms to keep warm; she didn't feel like making another trip to get her blanket. Soon she was laying on the couch, on her stomach, watching TV. Her left arm hanging off the side, and her right hand under her right cheek. Ash watched the screen with a blank expression, when usually she would look intent or interested.
 
Darren

Darren heard the TV start in the living room with the faintest sound. His ears strained to barely hear it, and he walked into the hall and peeked into the living room. Sure enough, the sound of the TV got a tad bit louder, and Ashlyn was indeed sitting on the couch looking as though she was staring right through the TV. Concern lined his belly and mind, and he inched forward in the slightest.

He started slowly and quietly, "Ashlyn?"

"We have an appointment at 11 o'clock in downtown," he avoided the word therapist. "Then we have to go to the hospital real quick and get your hand checked up on."

At the mention of her hand, his eyes flew to the wrapped appendage. She didn't seem in pain, and also she seemed more lost in thought. He wasn't sure if the second half was a good thing or a bad thing, but he definitely was worried about it nonetheless. His own eyes went to hers, worry slipping through his eyes as well as sadness. He tried his hardest not to pity his younger sister, but she was too young to have to lose her parents. He had received twenty-eight good years from them, but she hadn't even received half of that.

He soon got back on track though and asked, "Do you want breakfast?"
 
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