I used to think my mother was too lazy to get a job or didn't want to for whatever reason. At least not one that paid well. She's a bus driver making less than 15 bucks an hour. Now I realize, as a mother of 3 with a husband that works 15-18 hours a day, five days a week, that she wasn't lazy. The world isn't kind to the primary caregiver of the household. Now I am a substitute teacher making shit pay doing a job that no one appreciates. Why? Because I need to work during school hours. I have a BA in communicative disorders and am a licensed Speech and Language Pathologist Assistant. I worked my ass off and went to school through two pregnancies. Even took a final three days after I gave birth. I even stayed up and helped my husband with his academy work. Yet, no one will hire me because I can't work past 6 pm. The schools aren't offering SLPA jobs because there is no need. I could only get my license because the course was online, and my husband spent up all his vacation days to help with the kids so I could get through a 110-hour practicum. I could only get my BA because my mother-in-law watched the kids before we moved two hours away from them.
So no, my mother wasn't lazy - she was stuck with three kids and a husband (who I now know was also a rampant cheater) and could not figure out how to get to school or gain employable skills. She came to a country (the US) after knowing only her country her whole life. I do believe in and experience the frustration of being a mother and wife and putting kids and the husband ahead of me. Why? My husband makes more money. Same as my mother's situation. No one calls my husband when the kids are sick, they call me. Just like they did my mother. My kids and husband run my life as a mom and wife; therefore, no one will hire me even if I have much needed skills and the vacancy has been open for months.
I thought I'd be better than my mother. Go to school, get a stable job, raise my kids... support my spouse. That's just not real life. The reality is that no one supports the main caregiver, and then they call us low-skilled and lazy. Even worse, the jobs we can take that revolve around our kids and their school schedule are low-paying (teachers, subs, etc) because we don't have options.
A bit grim, but I suppose this sort of counts. I kinda thought SAHMs were just lazy and lucky. It's actually depressing and stifling, even when you finally get a job and you can hardly be reliable.