MISC #6 Voting Thread: Family

[HerziQuerzi]

......where are drawings mentioned? Does the winner get a drawing? Did I miss something? XD

It was a throwback to one of the previous MISC's.

 

[noodle]

It was a throwback to one of the previous MISC's.

Oh. So the winner doesn't get a drawing?

 

[An Otaku]

@neobendium

MISC MANAGERS' PICK
One month of free Donator status complete with perks, a special victory ribbon under your avatar for a month, a spot in the MISC Hall of Fame thread to immortalize your win.

MISC COMMUNITY PICK
A special victory ribbon underneath your avatar for a month and a spot in the MISC Hall of Fame thread to immortalize your win.

These are the rewards for this month, Neo.

 

[noodle]

@neobendium

These are the rewards for this month, Neo.

That's why I was confused. Because someone mentioned drawings and I couldn't find any mention of a drawing anywhere on it. So I thought it was a separate offer or something, idk. Anyway, that helped clear it up so thank you, sorry I'm an idiot XD

 

[Greenie]

*flails*

Come on y'all, let's hear more thoughts and see more votes!

 

[An Otaku]

I have a question about reviews and submissions, actually.

Is length ever taken into consideration, with the judges, and/or should it be? It's been mentioned, the 5k-10k length, so I always assumed 4-7k was the sweet spot. But... does it matter? I thought about factoring that into my own reviews but decided against it since a short story can still work well even if 1,000 words, maybe less.

So, ah.... Like. What does everyone else think about this?

 

[Lurcolm]

I have a question about reviews and submissions, actually.

Is length ever taken into consideration, with the judges, and/or should it be? It's been mentioned, the 5k-10k length, so I always assumed 4-7k was the sweet spot. But... does it matter? I thought about factoring that into my own reviews but decided against it since a short story can still work well even if 1,000 words, maybe less.

So, ah.... Like. What does everyone else think about this?

I wrote a short story two competitions ago that was short as fuck compared to the ones it had before. Now, it wasn't a particularly good post, but I did get some reviews stating that the length wasn't appreciated.

That was... 2.5k if I remember correctly. The problem is, that you can't get a whole lot done with that amount, but it's certainly entry worthy.

 

[An Otaku]

That may have been me, actually, at least during the round you mentioned. Wasn't quite sure what length meant at the time, so sorry about that...

Ever since I've come across flash fiction though, pieces that sometimes aren't even two sentences but still have merit, I'm just not sure anymore. I agree with the points you made, though.

 

[Greenie]

The rubric that the managers use doesn't seem to have length in there.

The 5000 words sweet spot is more for the ease of the readers. I don't know if it should come under judging, well, for me personally anyway. Long or short, as long as they're well written and under 10,000 is what counts.

My first story was less than 1000 words, lol.

 

[Jorick]

I have a question about reviews and submissions, actually.

Is length ever taken into consideration, with the judges, and/or should it be? It's been mentioned, the 5k-10k length, so I always assumed 4-7k was the sweet spot. But... does it matter? I thought about factoring that into my own reviews but decided against it since a short story can still work well even if 1,000 words, maybe less.

So, ah.... Like. What does everyone else think about this?

The length limits are just for the sanity and convenience of judges and voters alike, really. You can use your own rubric to judge stories though. If you feel like being too short or too long is an inherent problem, judge entries accordingly.

I can't speak for Astaroth and Kitti, but there are only two reasons I personally take length into consideration for judging an entry. One, if it's super short and feels incomplete, because they definitely had space to work with to fix that problem. Two, if it's very long but nothing really happens in the story, because that's just a waste of everyone's time and it irks me. I don't think particularly short or long entries are in and of themselves good or bad, but they can amplify other problems with a story.

 

[Greenie]

 

[HerziQuerzi]

Like movie editting, generally the best sign that an aspect of your writing it being done well is that it isn't noticeable. It's hard for me to single out things to praise since when it's handled right the good things should be guiding from the background instead of drawing attention. All that to say that these reviews end up more slanted to the negative because that stuff does stand out. Apologies.

The one I voted for is in italics.

A Simple Monster

• Excessive use of italics; the more you use them the less they mean
• "The tall man with shaggy brown hair" - Very blunt description of the main character
  • Try and smoothly work it in to the narration/story. In this case, one way of doing that could've been putting it after the robbers turn to look at him, while talking about what kind of impression Trystan might make on them.
• Trystan sighs a lot. Varying up people's actions and habits helps keep things from being repetitive.
• "She's rather furious" + "She's been screaming" Suddenly goes present tense for a couple of sentences.
• Trystan is apparently old enough to remember the civil war and a time before current technology, but is also referred to as a "young man" by the narration (only an issue due to the story being from Trystan's POV).
• The "runs in the family" prompt seem shoehorned in rather than actually being relevant to the overall themes of the story.
• The pacing feels off, due to how little importance is given to the climax. To the point where, going by actual violence, Trystan was more annoyed by the opening robbers (considering he even killed the two that tried to run) than by the people who kidnapped Ashley.
  • Related to that, Trystan's general lack of emotional connection to the plot results in the reader lacking emotional connection. And it isn't focused on being a comedy story, and it isn't a philosophical story, meaning it doesn't get the reader to think, to feel, or to laugh.

Entry #2

• Ends cleanly, only to be weakened by having a low-impact epilogue tacked onto it.
• Good description, and the action sequence was clear and well paced.
• That said, the actual end of the fight was rushed and underwhelming. In the span of a few sentences, it goes from Maria losing to Maria having won.
  • Drawing out the time between Maria falling to her knees and her leaping at Ariana would have helped flow into it better.
• Inker, Sculptor, and Painter lack relevance, and likely would have worked better as offhand nameless assistants used solely to show how Maria got her inkings.

A Desert Tale

• "to the ground, {...} on the ground" + "at the man {...} at the man" - Try to avoid using such repetition in such short time frames. Especially in the case of the "at the man"s, as it helps keep it clear that it's introducing new elements rather than the reader having to pause (even if it's only for a very brief moment) to make sure they're reading it right.
• Description is generally good, but sometimes phrasing is awkward and clunky. "The area was suddenly brighter as if someone had removed a curtain from his eyes. As it was, a curtain had been moved to the side" is a prime example, using an identical simile and action to describe the same thing.
• "So that was the swishing sound I had heard earlier…" - Suddenly switches to first person without any italics or such to indicate it's the characters thoughts instead of narration.
• ""Coddling leaves a person weak, and you don't seem like someone who's used to that."" - Reads weird when we've yet to see any strength in the main character. It opens with Serwil/Kaehl being helpless as someone he cares about is killed, then him being beaten up without any mention of resistance, then him being helpless while being healed.
  • Basically, I think it would've been helpful if the reader have been given some kind of indication of what Serwil/Kaehl is normally like before the line about him not often being weak instead of after.
• Since the second section is from Rayna's POV, it likely should have started with something about her rather than something about Serwil/Kaehl.
• As a healer, wouldn't Rayna know not to remove the knife?
• Murdering an orphanage is a bit heavy handed. Borderline cartoonish.

Wulfric; At Odds

• Not going to hold this against the story, but what's with the paragraph breaks?
• Good description and good pacing.
• Slang gets confusing at parts; there's one paragraph near the end of the police initiation scene where a werewolf is referred to as both a howler (which is easy to understand) and a Walker (which made me reread a few times trying to figure out if there was a zombie involved that I had missed). It wasn't until after the hospital scene that is was made clear that Walker was the name of a pack and not yet another piece of slang, like the three or four that had all already been introduced within a few paragraphs.
• Feels weird that a police officer with 10+ years experience wouldn't know about werewolf gang initiation.
• "using what she thought was his proper first time." - When it should be "first name". There's several instances of this kind of thing through out the story.
  • "The Wulfrics were converging on the Walkers." Another notable instance.
• "Wulfric said and smiled a little." Then, in his next paragraph, "Wulfric answered and grinned a little," - Keep language and actions diverse; avoid repeating phrases in such short proximity unless specifically using repetition for impact.
• With Wulfric leaving his family and then doing a literal blood covenant to join the police, ending the story with the prompt, word for word, was very blunt.

Family Dinner

• Entry #2 aggressively doesn't fit the tone set by Entry #1 and continued in Entry #3. It suddenly switches from kinda old-timey and rednecky, proper grammar, etc etc. Then Entry #2 is chatspeak with emoticons?
• The part about fingers growing back in a few hours was very unexpected... but in a good way. A very good way.
• Good descriptions, excellent flow, good pacing.

The Blood of the Covenant is Thiker Than the Water of the Womb

• Short and sweet.
• Excellent descriptions, excellent flow, good pacing.
• The theme doesn't really show through. There's a hint of familiarity breeds contempt, but the story isn't from the perspective of the daughter, so even that doesn't really fit. All there is is the title, which is very heavy-handed and doesn't really have any relation to the story.

 

[Elle Joyner]

So.... In the spirit of avoiding redundancy... ^^^ yeah that. Lol

That was basically all my thoughts composed a lot better than my coffeeless brain could handle right now XD

 

[Greenie]

*whispers*

What about Loyalties?

 

[HerziQuerzi]

*whispers*

there's a reason i finished the reviews at about 8 last night but didn't post them until today, after the voting ended

 

[Greenie]

*flails*

I'm containing myself from saying anything atm before the winners are announced, but it is very hard! XD

 

[noodle]

*flails*

I'm containing myself from saying anything atm before the winners are announced, but it is very hard! XD

SAME

 

[KJDarKnight]

I feel so bad I had no time to read review or even vote this time T.T

 

[noodle]

I feel so bad I had no time to read review or even vote this time T.T

*hugs* it's okay :3 neither did I really.

 

[Greenie]

You should feel super duper terrible!!

*Rings shame bells"

>.>

It's alright ;D