MISC #1 Voting Thread: A Brush With Death

Which entry do you like the best?


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Noooo!!! I sent in the rough draft!! #FAIL imma go cry in a corner now
 
I personally liked all the entries. They were all great and I was torn between three( Human, The Deathseeker She is Pale and dropping no more), but I went with Human. There is something about it that is beautiful and scary. It manages to portray suicide in both lights and refutes the narrator's thoughts so well. It's just so damn complex, yet so simple. Kudos to whoever wrote it.
This largely mirrors my own thoughts and I went with Human myself. It felt uniquely written.
 
bruh the votes are visible

Yup. You can access the votes, sure, if one feels so inclined. I didn't want to put the name of my favorite (exercising my freedom of speech thang) because of my own slant on how, faced with so many entries and so little time, people might be more inclined to check out stories already mentioned. (But I hope they will read them all.) I'm not saying that's bad or good or indifferent. Just my decision not to mention a title, that's all. No big.
 
I personally liked all the entries. They were all great and I was torn between three( Human, The Deathseeker She is Pale and dropping no more), but I went with Human. There is something about it that is beautiful and scary. It manages to portray suicide in both lights and refutes the narrator's thoughts so well. It's just so damn complex, yet so simple. Kudos to whoever wrote it.

This largely mirrors my own thoughts and I went with Human myself. It felt uniquely written.

The problem I have with Human is that... Well, let me start differently.

I both agree and disagree with some of the points made during the story about depression and suicide and what not.

I completely agree with the fact that depression is not just 'feeling sad all the time'. However, I would disagree with the fact that "Generally, you just feel empty." Speaking as someone who has been depressed for many years, I can verify that sometimes you do feel empty, but it is most definitely not a majority of the time. Depression is different for every person, of course, but from my experiences with it and the experiences of my friends, depression more commonly has to deal with a deep intense feeling of worthlessness. You are worthless, your life is worthless, etc. You don't have the energy to get up and do anything because you don't see how anything you do can be worth it (existing, that is). This is why depression is linked to withdrawal from society, since you don't think you are worthy to hang out with others or enjoy yourself. You don't want to bother people with your existence.

In any case, I don't agree with that phrase and that colored how I read the rest of the piece.

The actual writing of the piece is actually rather well done, and portrayed the character very well. (It's not the author's fault that I just didn't really like that person.)

There are some thoughts on death that I disagree with, but I won't go into those cause I'm not sure I can articulate myself properly enough to have other people understand what the heck I'm saying.

I disliked the whole nurse scene. I'm not exactly sure why. Just gonna leave it at that again, cause now I can't even explain it to myself. (I think I'm starting to get emotional - I tend to lose coherency when that happens.)

I actually agree with a lot of the thoughts on human nature, and that's the cynical side of me speaking. The part that thinks that it's human nature to be greedy and selfish and destructive. On that, me and the main character agree on.

Now the ending. Again, something bugs me about it. I don't think it quite fits in with the rest of the piece in terms of the way the main character has been developed. Maybe a bit OOC for me there? I honestly can't say.

All in all, I found myself disappointed in the piece.

(Please no one get offended! The piece was wonderfully written, just not my cup of tea! And the people I'm responding to, I'm not arguing with you! Just offering up my own opinion. *scurries off to hide in shame*)
 
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SO... MUCH... WORDS... BRAIN... NOT... FUNCTIONING... RIGHT... >.<
 
@Jorick - Just a small question. When does the voting period end?
 
@Jorick - Just a small question. When does the voting period end?
Ten minutes past midnight server time (CST, which is GMT-6) on September 29. You can see the poll closure time in tiny font just under the poll question.
 
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Ten minutes past midnight server time (CST, which is GMT-6) on September 29. You can see the poll closure time in tiny font just under the poll question.
Ah thanks. I didn't think to check there. o.o'
 
Ten minutes past midnight server time (CST, which is GMT-6) on September 29. You can see the poll closure time in tiny font just under the poll question.
Ah thanks. I didn't think to check there. o.o'
Don't feel bad, Greenie. It's just like with small print in contracts (and instructions in general, for that matter); nobody ever reads the things :P. Seriously, they could hide the cures to all the world's diseases and the solution to world hunger in there, and we still wouldn't have found them by the end of the millenium :P.
 
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Don't feel bad, Greenie. It's just like with small print in contracts (and instructions in general, for that matter); nobody ever reads the things :P. Seriously, they could hide the cures to all the world's diseases and the solution to world hunger in there, and we still wouldn't have found them by the end of the millenium :P.
I was actually reading the opening post multiple times, hoping I hadn't missed it there. ^_^' Silly Greenie.
 
It looks like I won't be voting this time 'round. I've only finished about half of my critiques; it'll probably take me at least another three days to finish the other half.

Good luck to the entrants, then!
 
For me its all about which one grabs me, i read such a lot in the genre's i love that i can know within the first couple of paragraphs if its going to grab my attention enough to want to get to the end.

I voted for Descending Raven.. its obvious the author knows how to build a story, how to write dialogue and how to grab a reader and take them on a journey. Its extremely well written and has a cadence and flow to the script that takes you with it.

Some of the other are quite clunky, disjointed or just didn't hold my attention, or meant that i had to go back and read and re-read to get the point of where they were going.
 
Part One

Note: I score things as though 5 was perfectly neutral. So a 6 isn't a poor grade, it means I overall liked it.

Also Note: I'm not very good at picking out things to praise. Mostly the best sign that something is being done well is that I don't even notice it. Thus, the following is going to sound far more negative than I'd like.

Entry #13: 6/10
• Repetive language within short time spans
• Does a good job of capturing the character's emotions

A Death and a Birth: 1/10
• Having multiple characters' dialogue in the same paragraph + having character's thoughts being formatted the same as speech makes conversations hard to follow
• Narration clumsily switches between omniscient oversight and a single character's POV
• The dedication to using weird and unintuitive numbers like "twenty or so dozens" is ill-advised

Death Seeker: 3/10
• Expositions is bluntly laid out instead of being woven into the story
  • Said exposition also offers no contribution to what appears the be the point the of story A.K.A. the Death sequence
• Action sequences are overly rushed
  • For example, the part where they grab the pink haired girl from the camp. It was blasted through in five sentences when it felt like it should've been more like 5 paragraphs
• Avoid having multiple character's dialogue in the same paragraph

A Viking Hero: 5/10
• Narration does a decent job of sounding like a child's thoughts

Brush of Death: 4/10
• Does a good job of getting across the feeling of crushing hopelessness
• Purple prose abounds, the story buried under excessive adjectives
• The Reaper Association are rather clunky
• For the teen segments, the fact that the names were so similar left me confused a lot of the time as to who was doing what

Life, For a Life; Soul, for a Soul: 7/10
• Nice flow, though the transition from death to rebirth could've been expanded upon and made smoother

Human: 5/10
• Duct tapes flow together via constant blunt transitional phrases ("But the thing is"/"See, the thing about"/"To elaborate on what I was talking about earlier though")
• Characterization of the narrator remains consistent throughout

Isolation: 3/10
• Splitting ideas up into smaller paragraphs instead of giants walls of text helps increase flow and clarity
• For a story that (I assume) is meant to focus more on exploring Tyler's emotions rather than an outward plot/series of events, there isn't much introspection going on

Relic: 3/10
• Reads less like a poem and more like a handful of paragraphs that had an unfortunate encounter with the Enter key
• That said, some parts do flow quite well

Copper Black: 6/10
• Odd hints to extended context/story outside of this particular story makes it feel like an excerpt rather than a stand-alone short story
• None of the impact lines (single sentence paragraphs) actually have much impact
• The fact that there are two last minute power ups is weird

Descending Raven: 6/10
• Even if it's meant to be a sudden turn of events, the paragraph where the squad is wiped out is too rushed
  • There's a fine balance needed to keep things fast paced enough to match the tone of the situation, but measured enough for any of it to actually have an impact. This falls on the too hectic side of things
• The exposition paragraph after Donlan gets trapped in the cave would've been better spread out and woven naturally into the story

She is Pale and Drooping no more: 8/10
• The way dialogue is handled gives me a very Cormac McCarthy feel. Intentional?
• Narration manages to paint a picture without drowning in purple prose or heavy handed adjectives

A Coward Does It With A Kiss: 7/10
• Nice characterization for all the different people
  • Appearance descriptions do a good job of getting across the overall feel without getting lost in irrelevant details
• "(don’t you hate people who talk in the third person?)" Ends up being more self sabotage than clever lampshading (I assume the intent was the latter)
• Most of the stuff in brackets is kinda jarring and immersion breaking. First person narration doesn't really need another layer of first person narration on top of it
 
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So, about "A coward does it with a kiss".
- Who else was expecting something involving Judas Iscariot and Jesus? Or at least something heavily resembling that story.
- ...Upon reading the word 'Rival' and the name 'Blue' practicaly right next to each other, who else instantly thought of the first Pokémon games? >_<.
 
Due to some minor last minute issues, the announcement of the Managers' Pick and the distribution of prizes may be a bit delayed. Do not fret if the vote ends in a tie, it's not a problem at all. The announcements and prize handouts should, barring catastrophic troubles, be done before the end of the month.

Once the poll is closed and voting is over, contest entrants are free to reveal which entry was theirs if they so choose. We will only be publicly announcing the names of those whose entries won, just in case others would like to remain anonymous. :)
 
Everything has been sorted and I'm happy to be able to announce the winners of the very first MISC!
The entries were all fantastic and I hope that everyone had a fun time, whether you were creating stories or just enjoying reading the creations made by the writers!
That said, there are prizes to give out, so let's get down to business.

MISC Community Pick:
As you can see, this category attained a tie this time! The joint winners are:

@Nim with their entry "I'm a Present!"
and
@Verite with their entry "Human"


Honorable Mentions:
The managers discussed and reviewed all the entries. The final decision was made between three in particular, so the managers wanted to give a shout out to those two as well:

@Steel Hyaena with "Descending Raven"
and
@Ravenfrost with "A Coward Does It With A Kiss"

MISC Manager's Pick:
Congratulations to the entry that the managers chose as their choice for this month!

@HerziQuerzi with their entry "Copper Black"

Prizes will be awarded shortly. Thanks again to everyone who participated, I hope that you had a great time!
Please join us again for the next MISC in November!
 
It is finished! My piece may not have won any votes, the competition was so tough, but at least I got a good piece out of it! Oh, and also a chance to advertise, xD.

I entered the poem, certainly not one of my best. But here's where my best are located: POETRY - The Showcase

And where all the rest are, since I started taking poetry seriously when I joined this site, can be found here (the link is to the latest post, which contains three pieces schmutzed together into a triptych, the third piece being my entry): CRITIQUE REQUEST - The Workshop

Constructive criticism is always welcome (however vicious, as long as it's genuinely constructive, and it includes no ad hominem attacks)! PM, or better yet, post in The Workshop, that's what that thread is made for!

Thanks to @Jorick, @Astaroth, @Kitti, and the rest of the Iwaku community!

PS I didn't vote simply because I got to busy to finish reading. My favorites so far, though, are "Brush, with Death", due to the quiet warmth of the story (it almost felt like a narrative I would read Louise Gluck convey, and I love Louise Gluck) and the fact that it includes an actual brush (but it could have used some more development); "Copper Black"; and "Descending Raven" --- note how those last two don't have much comment. I favorite'd them in my mind immediately because they just read so professionally, but I ultimately didn't finish them. I found "I'm a Present!" too in-need of polish (though that mention of counting errors was a joke, I do take polish in submitted works seriously; our language has rules, and as much as they're made to be broken, one can tell when breaks are careless) and "Human" too pretentious/pathetic (that could be taste, since my favorite suicide-artist is Sylvia Plath, but then there's [1]the unprofessional center alignment: prose poems typically adopt the form of prose completely, and even old publications of verse-poetry never did that, center alignment just looks too awkward; [2]the lack of imagery: it's imagery a prose-poem or a dramatic monologue has to rely on, and none of the images in the piece are unique enough (or uniquely presented enough) to be a draw; and [3]the rambling pontification: it just reads heavy-handed, especially when the conclusions are either simple or much better and more memorably said before. To wit, using the first bits as an example: the center align is obvious enough; the first image that appears is a goth kid, of all heavy-handed things, with the actual method of suicide not being touched upon until the latter half of the piece; and the relatively simple conclusions of "depression=/=just being sad", which anyone who's had someone in their life with depression that isn't a pre-teen (and this being generally an artist's site, probably everyone) would know, the whole "what my only friends in life will eventually become" deal, which reeks not only of pretension but also of the disgusting and quite frankly stupid meanness of high school, and that whole "we are all disgusting inside", being pretty much the same conclusion as the above. Certainly, I've had the same thoughts as these, but reading about them in this form now, and I bet even if I'd read about them in this form as I felt them, say, six years ago, the piece would just reek: and thus the turn to Rimbaud, eventually to Gluck (although she ain't as suicidal, just Gothic), eventually to Plath. I'd suggest those very artists to help, and to receive sympathy from: "Ariel and other poems" is terrific.), while I never got to "A Coward Does It with a Kiss", how disappointing (although skimming it now, it looks terrific!).
 
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Hey everyone,

As I predicted, I am still doing my critiques! I'll try to have those out sometime by the end of the week if my college work doesn't bog me down. Haha. YeahIcanbealazybuttsueme.

First off though, I'd like to thank the committee the staff for organizing this fun little event and all those that were brave and bold enough to participate. Whether your piece of work got a "1" or a "10/10 IGN" from people, every writer here should be proud to have simply done something in such a relative shortspan of time. I do not want people being discouraged from continuing their passions, and as such, I advise people to take their critcism with a grain of salt and realize that A. You can't satisfy everyone and B. There can be meaningful, constructive critique that people should learn and grow from. But, hey, everyone handles criticism differently, like how Richard Ford infamously gunned down Alice Huffman's books with a rifle after some negative reviews back in the day.

don'tdothatkids.

Secondly, I'd like to congratulate my secret lover brother @Verite for tieing up with first place. I told ye you would win it, ye goof <3.

Oh, and thirdly, yeah, I'm the author of By the Riverside. For those that voted and supported me, thank you, just seeing one vote associated with my work thrills me. I am aware of my flaws, of my heavy prose, of my pacing, and of my sometimes iffy' dialogue. These are flaws I am not too prideful to ignore, and who knows? Maybe next time I'll iron out the edges more, I'll put more effort and huff behind it, and I will deliver to all of you dear readers a piece of literature far, far greater. Until then, though, thank you once again for the support, as an aspiring writer trying to get into the field itself it is very encouraging for me.
 
Congrats to the winners ^_^ !

I had fun time with this competition, and I'm really looking forward to the next one. I obviously didn't win (my entry is Last Stand) but I usually don't enter contests like these to win; it's more for the challenge, the fun of it, and an excuse to write. Sometimes you get stuck in a rut and these kind of opportunities help revive inspiration. For eg, my story is about a character I had been writing a story about way back in 2009. I think I've been inspired to try and work on that tale again.

Soooo yeah, looking forward to more of these!
 
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