making friends

[Shadon Xarian]

This is super awkward to ask, but a moment ago I realized something.

Now friend wise. I do got plenty (for me anyway) so I'm not alone or desperate or anything.


Thing is though, I recently discovered that I have allot of people I'm super cool with/know, but we aren't exactly "friends" some of time it's mainly something like "you're a pretty cool guy ^^" and I'm like "ye-yeah! You're a pretty amazing person" But mostly it's after talk on whatever subject and clearly we're both cool with eachother and stuff.

But that's where I get stuck DX from there, not much is spoken, I think because I'm too afraid that I'll come off as too clingy/persistent/creper/stalkerish/Etc etc.

So what exactly do I do from there? XD There's quite a bit of people online I WANT to get to know better and become friends with, but on the other hand, I don't want them getting the wrong idea and me end up behind bars XD and I have no idea how far is too far and when is when >.< (And so the question doesn't linger in your mind, majority of those are female. And since I like these people, I don't want things going south because of a stupid misunderstandings/me being stupid XP)


So basically, what do I do for the beginning? What's too much and what isn't? How far seems super stalkerish and what perfectly natural? XD (this wouldn't be a problem but online creepers decided to creep so now everyone's a potential creeper >.<

 

[Kestrel]

For guys; "Hey, wanna grab a beer?"

For both genders, or really just in general, friendships are formed by doing as well as talking. Look for shared interests, go sport or game together, have some jam sessions if you can play an instrument. Join each other's RP's if they're on Iwaku. Alla that. The trick to friendship is letting it happen. Proximity tends to lead to bonding on a more emotional level. As for getting clingy, as long as you're respectful of someone's time and the boundaries they bring up, you should be fine 90% of the cases.

 

[Kagayours]

If there are people around here that you want to get to know better, just shoot them a message or something -- I don't see how that would be weird. Just find something to talk about and, uh... talk. Maybe join some RP's with them. Pretty simple.

The same goes for people IRL. Two people could be standing next to each other and not want to say a word out of awkwardness, or one could compliment the other's shirt or something and get a conversation started and suddenly there are two people who are totally friendly talking to each other. And if you want to hang out with someone, then say so -- find something you can do together.

You just have to go ahead and initiate, really. Don't be afraid to start a conversation or something.

 

[Surrender To Hope]

Everyone here has given valid points, yeah, let it progress naturally. Be you and don't be afraid to talk to anyone. I don't know a whole lot, we talked in another topic, but you seem cool to me. As mentioned before maybe look for some common interests, talk, same thing like in real life.

 

[Shadon Xarian]

"Look for common interest"

That is a big one, but how do ya do that naturally? Because to get info, you kinda gotta ask about real life stuff. Is that not such a big deal as Ive been led to believe? o.o

Like for me, anyone can ask me anything and I wouldn't care, but not everyone is me XP And from my understanding, allot of people find personal real life questions from online strangers creepy. Thing is though, I think that the two gotta know a thing or two about eachother personally to actually be friends.

That joining the same RP thing is basically how I became friends with one of mah buddies here (and it took us being the very rare smart people at the forum we were at to connect more XD) But most the time, I'm not surrounded by stupid people to connect to the smarties -.- (BTW, stupid is a understatement. You wouldn't BELIEVE the people we... Well I as he watched And laughed had to deal with)

But thing with that is we were in the same RP beforehand. And... ... ... ...

Welp, I'm kinda stupid XP The people I've had to deal with in the past REALLY wrecked mah social skills D:

I've gotten so use to a very specific kind of people online That I forgotten how people actually are XP


WELL thanks for all your advice and what nots and making me realize what I was doing so I can correct (it's scary how I've been so damaged o.o slowly I've been finding the problems and replacing them with real me. This is the third thing that I've found changed from this community alone XP

 

[Kagayours]

That is a big one, but how do ya do that naturally? Because to get info, you kinda gotta ask about real life stuff. Is that not such a big deal as Ive been led to believe? o.o

Like for me, anyone can ask me anything and I wouldn't care, but not everyone is me XP And from my understanding, allot of people find personal real life questions from online strangers creepy. Thing is though, I think that the two gotta know a thing or two about eachother personally to actually be friends.

There's nothing wrong with asking about someone's interests. And, you're right that that's usually the main way you establish common interests with someone (unless you see something about them that would convey certain interests -- like what their sig/avi set is or, in IRL, a t-shirt they're wearing or something).

People might find it creepy if someone you meet online immediately wants to know your real name or address, but not so much if they're only asking what TV shows you like. :P Besides, I feel like there are certain cues, even on the internet, that give off more of a "stranger danger" vibe than any random site member would. I mean, on a site like this, it's clear that we're all part of a community and you can see the friends that everyone's already made. This isn't some sketchy chatroom where there is no way to find any background on anyone and so it's easy for anyone to be some creepy sexual predator or something. (I mean, not that such a thing isn't possible on a site like Iwaku, but the signs are a bit more clear, you know?)

Internet friends aren't that weird of a thing to have anymore. Especially on a site where people really do feel a bit more like people, and not just a name that'll be gone as soon as they go offline.

 

[Brovo]

That is a big one, but how do ya do that naturally?

Step 1: Initiate conversation. "Hello buddy!" <- Initiates contact.
Step 2: Small talk. "How's the weather?" <- Breaks the tension.
Step 3: Ask them what they enjoy doing--hobbies, jobs, et cetera. <- Search for common interests.
Step 4: Volunteer one or two of your own. <- In case they feel too awkward to share something they think is embarrassing.

On the Internet, you generally already have a shared interest. (Ex: On Iwaku, you and person B probably both role play.) Engage them that way.

Also, if you want a friend, I will be your friend.

 

[Kestrel]

That is a big one, but how do ya do that naturally? Because to get info, you kinda gotta ask about real life stuff. Is that not such a big deal as Ive been led to believe? o.o

"So what keeps you busy?"