Magical Vending Machine

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You get glitter poofed in your face.

I insert a cup of coffee.
 
You get an overworked assistant zombie clawing for their cup of coffee back.

I insert a broken image.
 
You get a fixed image of Justin Bieber

I insert Malcolm Turnbull
 
You get a crying Tony Abbott.

I insert Tony Abbott's nose.
 
You get an empty lasagne.

I insert a .GIF of Hillary fainting.
 
You get nothing.

I insert a piece of paper
 
You get a tree.

I insert a paper crane.
 
You get an 'o'.

I insert an eyeball.
 
You get an Eyeball Costume for Halloween this year.

I insert an Eggos waffle.
 
You get a confused Australian.

I insert a bottle of Vegemite.
 
You get fruit.

I insert a pancake.
 
You get a pancake shake bottle.

I insert syrup.
 
You get a maple leaf. That is red. And on a flag.

...It's Canada, you get Canada.

I insert all the threads in the Thread Archives.
 
You get an army of Gwazi clones crashing the forum.

I insert a Gwazi clone.
 
You get Gwazi's clone's remains, the compression of the vending machine has crushed him to death

I insert sacrificial remains
 
The Magical Vending Machine™ catches fire, before immediately stopping to burn. Instead it stands still, grieving in the knowledge that its creator is missing. Its meaning, the very reason it exists, gone without a trace it knows of. Still, this is just a speculation, as a vending machine wouldn't be able to know that.

I insert the sleep I haven't gotten.
 
You get a snuggie.

I insert a book.
 
You get a coloring book after the vending machine decided to simplify the book to its purest form and the book is now in nice pictures you can color

I put in a video game I want to forget
 
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