Magellanic Cloud

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"I know they are dead, but dwelling on it won't help those that are still alive." Roy was losing patience - a difficult thing to achieve. He knew Reed had lost someone dear to him, but the captain still owed those who were alive. The soldier did appreciate the fact Reed didn't rush to save Lennox and oversaw the evacuation till the very end. If the things had a different outcome, Roy would have considered killing the captain right where he stood. Not out of immense fury or vengeance, but the sole fact Reed could have been a liability. A part of him was grateful the pilot made a sensible decision rather than follow his faulty heart. "You'll get over it." Roy offered. He wasn't one to coddle people, caring not to hurt their feelings. It wasn't time to be diplomatic. Roy had lost enough people; the veteran spec ops knew a human was able to endure plenty. The captain had a basic military training - a necessary thing if one wanted to fly, but Roy was sure, Reed didn't see a real combat. Only simulated skirmishes.

"I am still waiting for a thank you." Roy snapped with frustration creeping into clear in his often monotonous, detached voice. The soldier looked around the shuttle, nodding. "It will help us move people away from the hostiles. We still don't know what lurks out there." Even him, a man turned into half-machine felt fear nestling in his wired heart. What kind of monsters would they find? They were outmatched by the ancient technology. "Do you have a better one?" Roy asked. The captain sounded defeated; a dangerous state of mind in their situation. Roy caught a sigh selling in his throat, but didn't show the frustration, instead buried it deep down. Locked it in the tiny box where other uncomfortable things hid: the pain of losing his daughter, the hurt pride when his ex had left him. The sense of guilt over sending young, impressionable boys to their deaths. He knew that pushing Reed even more brought risks of a heart attack.

For now, they reached certain equilibrium in their relationship. A fragile alliance and Roy didn't want to strain. Reed was sick, but not useless. When he put his mask and the ramp lowered, they couldn't afford conflicts and quarrels. Now they were both tired. Roy could feel strength beeing sapped from his muscles as he struggled to breathe. There was no other way to adjust - no pain no gain. No one knew this better than augs. He gritted his teeth and fished out two pills. Painkillers to ease the suffering of strained muscles. Roy chewed them, washing the disgusting taste with water. "Fuck, that's nasty." He muttered as fighting to even his breathing. "When you feel better, remove the mask, it is important you adjust to the low oxygen levels." Roy knew it will take less time for him, brief pain and the altitude sickness would pass. At part of his training focused on possible orbital drops, he and fellow trainees puked like cats after being dragged through the low pressure chambers.
The planet made an impression of being barren. Only dry, twig grass covered rusty soil. The flora was rusty red, an adaptation mechanism to the white dwarf star that radiated little life sustaining rays. The local sun was dying, decaying like life on the planet. They didn't have to worry about local predators, they were no bigger than the Earth's tarantulas. The larger animals had died out long time ago, the planet's habitable zone was shifting as the star starved of hydrogen became cooler, tidal locking the closest planets in a deadly dance. In a few hundred thousand years, even those meager organisms would lose the oxygen leftovers.

They wouldn't live to see it and Roy found solace in this thought. Dying on a fading planet was the last thing they needed right now. Always cautious, Roy still switched the safety off on his rifle. The soldier didn't bring as many armaments as he would like to, most of the weapons evaporated with the ship, but he had managed to save a few. He had a powerful, automatic rifle and a handgun strapped to his chest. Couple throwing knives, a military issued combat knife, two grenades. No explosives, which pained him. For now, enough to fend off local mosquitos. "If they were lucky, it was automated defense that brought us down. I don't like the idea of fighting alien fossils." He carefully looked around, the optics fishing out important details. "Looks safe, we can move out." Roy decided and motioned for Reed to join him.

The fact Reed and Roy made their way to the survivors would comfort Nat who was still fighting to catch her breath. " The woman inhaled sharply before accepting the breathing mask. It was a rebreather that broke CO2 into so needed oxygen. "Maybe we can unshock him because running away from aliens with unconscious Lennox doesn't give us an advantage." Natalia concluded, able to speak, which might not be what Claudia needed right then. "You are still going on about the rope?" She grumbled but followed the instructions. Natalia was a clumsy woman and it took her a while to secure the rope. "An arrow trail? What the fuck is an arrow trail?" The anthropologist grabbed the backpack, this one with food. It was some form of consolation, that they wouldn't die of starvation. "Lennox. Put on a big boy's pants.I don't want to get eaten by ancient aliens because of you." Natalia sighed, but then her attention was drawn to Claudia and her ingenious idea. "Ohhhh...." The dark-haired woman let out a word of admiration for Scratch's savviness. She tied the other end to the fungi-like tree, trying to be as fast as possible.

They began to slow, tedious walk to leave the ship behind. Natalia turned to look at the antediluvian vessel. It was quiet now, dead. A growing worry marred her features. "Maybe we could check it out, once we gather." She concluded; Natalia's scientific,inquisitive nature didn't want to miss the occasion to find the ship's secrets. Even briefly glance at them. "After all, we came here for that." She noticed Claudia left her few feet behind. Natalia caught up with her. They had pivotal things to do first.
 
"You'll get over it." Roy offered.
"Don't even-" Reed said, biting back the vulgarities that lingered at the back of his throat. There was some hope he was still out there, Reed was getting over nothing until he knew there was something to mourn and even then ... he didn't think he'd just "get over it" ... You don't just "get over" having half of your heart and soul cut out.

"Yeah, thanks a bunch for the brain damage" Reed grumbled, rubbing his aching skull. As for the plan ... the sit and wait plan, he could offer no greater suggestions, but his head was still spinning from being smashed by Roy and the bumpy emergency landing. "No. I don't have a better plan, unless the alien wreck that pulled us down is somehow salvageable and I could somehow figure out how to fly it. We'd need enough fuel and life support on board to make it far enough to reach communication distance with Earth ... I don't think we're that lucky so we're stuck here."
Reed chanced sliding off the breathing mask for a minute to try assimilate with the new atmosphere but quickly had to pull it back on again as the oxygen was too thin. It would take some time.

Reed looked at the barren alien world ... wondering if it was better to die planet side, with his feet on the ground, or if he and Lennox would have fared better being killed on the ship as it exploded ... At least they would have died together ... Right now though, he had to focus on putting one foot in front of the other and finding the stragglers, rounding up the shattered remains of the crew.
He looked up at the sky, smoke mottled the skyline a horrible sickly colour and farther off there were bits of debris floating just above the atmosphere, bits of his ship and his crew. It was a miserable sight.

"It had to be an automated defence system ... This planet is too dead to support a whole crew, if anything, only a handful remain" Reed sighed, he wondered how long his crew would last, feasting on alien tarantulas and their limited rations for 2 years, or hoepfully not that long, hopefully by some miracle they'd send support immediately and they'd be picked up. It was very unlikely.


"Nat, I'm only going to ask you this nicely one more time ... Leave the doctor alone" Scratch said, "You aren't helping" though Scratch wondered if molly-coddling him would help at all, maybe Nat's tough love approach was the lesser of two evils.

Scratch turned and put her hands on her hips when Nat began to entertain the thought of exploring the ruins when they'd all regrouped with the other survivors.
"Did you hit your head during the drop? Because thats crazy talk" she said. "That pile of scrap almost killed us, it did kill half our crew in case you forgot. I say we let it rot, if I find a scummy alien body I'll spit on the fucking thing"
Scratch was a military girl to the bone, unlike Nat, she didn't care for unravelling mysteries and figuring out what happened to their alien buddies out there or what sort of tech they were sporting. Scratch just wanted to shoot something and then leave because this plan had gone tits-up.

"Our mission isn't to analyse ruins and alien fossils. Not anymore, our goal is survival and getting off this dead rock. Theres nothing here for us and we'll be the same as that hunk of junk over there if we don't meet with the others and set up a camp" she said, tugging Lennox along as he began to lag behind. The dumbstruck doctor was slowing them down but Scratch tried to keep him moving so Nat wouldn't suggest they leave him behind to waste away.

((Soooorrrrrryyyyy it took so long and its not my best work, waiting for dizziness to subside))
 
They were prepared for many scenarios and death was a painfully real possibility. For that, they had extra supplies, short comm beacons. Reed behaved as if he didn't understand that as if he expected happily ever after on an epic mission into the beyond. A romantic soap opera scenario from one hundred years old tv shows. Maybe they lived in two different worlds or maybe Roy's life maybe him jaded and cynical, but the soldier new missions like that were harsh. The security protocols he had designed along with other specialists assumed at least eight deaths. Murphy's law.

A crooked smile crept on his lips when Reed bit back insults. "A stubborn enough man can survive just about anything." He offered and gestured at the captain to say behind him. "Judging by your personal decision on the mission, it's not me who damaged your brain." The chief commented without looking at the captain, instead surveying the surroundings. Mushroom looking trees were getting thicker and dry air carried rusty sand that attacked throat, nostrils. Thin atmosphere combined with arid ground created a suffocating mixture. There no big animals, no predators but the planet itself could kill them.

The idea of making the ancient ship fly was ridiculous but no more than being struck by one down. Humanity didn't expect to find anything alive. After 150, 000 years it was unlikely anyone was still alive. That the civilisation survived this long. It hadn't but the ship outlived them. "We will get lucky if we manage to find anyone else alive beside Scratch and the two civvies." That was the striking difference between them. Reed thought about possible good scenarios and Roy prepared for the worst.

After a short walk, he stopped and put away the rifle. "There is nothing around." He let out a breath of relief. "At least that." Roy had to stop for a moment to still a rushing heart. His still primitive human brain which hadn't evolved for the past 200,000 years took the low oxygen levels as a threat. Adrenaline surged through Roy's veins, causing unpleasant tension. He placed hands on his neck and pulled, forcing tendons to relax. They made maybe seven kilometres - pitiful small number, but in this diluted air, it felt like twenty more. "We need to set a camp." Roy looked around. They were on a strange, red meadow with tall twigs sprouting from the ground. They possessed tiny spheres attached to the top. Sun was beginning to fade, vanishing beyond the horizon, painting the sky with comfortingly familiar pink hue. Roy looked at the tracker. Still fifteen kilometres till the first pod.

Something pried his attention away from the device. A flash of light. His body immediately reacted, artificial pupils dilated and hand darting toward the rifle. The meadow turned from dried, bland gathering of dry plants turned into a spectacle of colourful lights. The odd spheres started to emit light the moment the sun's rays hid behind the horizon. He completely forgot about this image, sent by the unmanned probes. Every night the planet's flora exploded with luminescent light. Roy, like anyone else on the ship, had seen it via camera lenses, but they couldn't truly convey the silent beauty of the warm, radiant glow. His heart skipped a beat when the incandescent pollen was blown up into the sky by the hot wind.

"Hey, I am doing him and us a favour. Besides, it's not like I want to leave him here." Natalia snapped back. She didn't know this caring side of the tomboy girl who had to gnaw her way through the rough, military training. Scratch was protective of the broken doctor like a mother hen. Maybe there was reason and wisdom in those actions. Leave no man behind. "Maybe it didn't want to bring us down, it had to be some defence mechanism. I and Elliot believed it was a warship." Natalia still gazed at the broken colossus. Then she remembered poor old Elliot, their archaeologists. He had died back on the Conqueror, electrocuted before being thrown into the endless vacuum.

Natalia slowly nodded. They were stuck on the planet anyway, sooner or later she would get to see what was inside this ancient beast. After all, there was nothing else left to do. Lennox still looked shocked and miserable, but the woman couldn't tell if from grief or meds. Not that it mattered. She didn't know for how long they were walking. Long enough for the sun to vanish and to witness a seemingly dead planet waking up.
 
"Yeah well its some crazy wiring and chips that keep my heart going ... stubborn or not, I technically should be dead." the fact he was alive right now was a painful reminder that Lennox might not be ... and that it was his fault, that, and all the other people who'd died on his watch now. Reed thought about the head of engineering, he kept a picture of his daughter in his top left pocket on his jumpsuit. He'd pulled out that picture to tell Reed about her so many times that Reed could recall what she was wearing, a red and blue striped sweater with a pair of heavily grass-stained denim dungarees. He was most certainly dead ... the pulse that had plucked them out of the sky would have wrought havoc on the engines and he never left the engine-room, the goddamn fool had a hammock strung up between railings and he slept down there. Reed had liked him, he was a decent guy and he deserved to go back to his family with amazing stories for his daughter. There were so many others on the ship who had been like him. Dedicated, hardworking ... with families. The families were the worst part. Reed had no one to leave behind. He was "single" as far as anyone was concerned and he had no kids. He had Lennox and that was all he really wanted. It seemed unfair, knowing he created widows ... knowing there were kids without fathers now because he hadn't anticipated this wild, incredibly unpredictable circumstance could come to be.

"Theres men more stubborn than me who died up there ... a thick head didn't save them from the vacuum or flying shrapnel" he sighed, he wanted to mourn them all, every one of them, but they'd never make it out alive if they put down their supplies and started digging empty graves and whittling out gravemarkers out of the bizarre alien flora.

He rolled his eyes at the comment regarding his brain damage and decision making. "You can't choose who you love Colonel, and if you really love them, you can't choose to ignore it either". Love had an unusual way of uncomfortably worming under your skin and picking away at you until you caved in and risked it all ... If you were lucky the person you loved, loved you back and it worked out peachy ... if you weren't so fortunate, that worm curled up and died after it gnawed at your insides and you were left feeling hollow and bitter afterwards. Love hurt no matter how you cut it. Reed hurt now at the thought of letting Lennox down.

Reed stayed quiet when Roy expressed doubt in finding anyone else alive aside fromSCratch and whoever landed with her. Nearly all, if not every single one of the escape pods had launched, a significant portion had to have been filled. Of those pods, most had to have launched correctly, the crew had undergone training and practice launches so many times, surely they wouldn't fuck it up, they could practically do it in their sleep during practice drills, of course the terror of a real-life crash could cause silly (and fatal) mistakes to be made. Then out of those full, successful pods, surely more than one could have stuck the landing and crashed somewhere where the occupants could safely evacuate. There wouldn't be a huge group of survivors ... but ... surely more than 5 had escaped, there were so many on the ship. Reed hoped, he wasn't a praying man, but he prayed to who-knows-what that even just one more member of the crew made it out alive.

Reed nodded, exhausted by the time Roy suggested they set up a camp. He already felt as if he could just curl up and die and be done with it by the time they came to a stop. There was nothing here on this planet worth living for and they should never have came. He almost felt it worth dying out of spite though he wasn't sure who he'd spite by kicking the bucket here, Roy maybe ... but no one else gave much of a shit about them really. No one back on Earth knew what had happened and in 2 years they'd just be a "failed mission" not a father, a husband, a friend, a partner, a cousin, a son ... Nothing.

Reed was momentarily jolted out of his misery by the dead-planets sudden light-show. The spectacle was breathtaking, truly breathtaking and for the first time since they'd crashed, the planet almost seemed beautiful ... it did seem beautiful and alive. Alive in a way that wasn't threatening and terrifying, just different. The flicker of lights and colours was soothing, almost as if the planet were trying to apologise for ripping them out of the comfort and safety of their ship and their routines. Suddenly Reed couldn't help but think that maybe there were worse places to die. It was quiet here, and the pollen drifting upwards in the stifling humid air was like snow falling in reverse, Reed had always found snow comforting. It was quiet and it slowed the world down and muffled all the noise.

He felt his entire body ache with tiredness and exhaustion but begrudgingly forced himself to start setting up a camp, pausing periodically to take in the gentle spectacle before them.



"You could do us a favour and keep your big mouth shut before you suck up all the oxygen on this dry-ass planet" Scratch replied drily. Nat was able to take a cutting remark here and there, but Scratch wasn't sure Lennox was up to much in terms of snide remarks. He was just quiet now. It seemed like an improvement from blind panic but Claudia assumed he was quiet because his thoughts were exploding and he was freaking out internally. That didn't seem like a good thing. She wished she knew what to do with mental trauma cases, but she was a soldier, she carried a wounded buddy to a nurse who patched them up, she didn't do the patching up part. It wasn't her job and she didn't know what to do and she wished she did because there was no one here to patch them up ... or there was but the patcher-upper was the one who needed ot be patched up.

"Whatever it was, it killed most of our crew and it tried to kill us so I hope it chokes on this dusty air" Scratch grumbled, Nat's unrelenting curiosity in the thing that tried to kill them eluded Claudia. She didn't want to understand it she wanted to blow it the fuck up.
Lennox hit the ground like a lead weight, it made Scratch jump at first, she was tired and tiredness made her jittery, she was also surprised someone so slim could be such a dead weight. She was surprised he'd even lasted this long.
"Hey, cmon, whats wrong?" she asked pathetically, that seemed like a dumb thing to say.
He didn't respond and Claudia let out a weary and frustrated groan. "Nat do you think you can help me drag him a little further-" she trailed off as something caught her eye.

She squinted to try and figure it out, it looked like ... fire? but the colours were all wrong ... maybe there was something in the air that made the smoke appear such an odd shade?
"Is that smoke? ... We should try get closer, it could be Roy and the others setting up a base"
She turned back to Lennox to try tug him up to his feet. "Cmon doc, its only a little further, you gotta keep moving"
 
"Tell me about it." Roy looked back at the captain, his gaze unusually patronising. . "If only my heart was like that, my lifespan would increase." He commented, wishing Reed would have stopped bitching. Yes, he had a bad heart. Yes, his lover was probably a corpse. It didn't justify this pity party. If the captain was a soldier under Roy's command, the veteran spec ops would have already been beating the crap out of the captain's ass. To be fair, only Reed's bad heart stopped Roy from this instinctive reaction to discipline. Their situation was peculiar: Reed was still a captain and a chain of command gave him authority over the civilian crew. On the other hand Roy was a chief of security who began to outrank the captain during any military crisis. The change of authority had to be register in the ship's system, the ship which pieces floated in the vacuum above them.

The captain couldn't get over the loss of his men. What army had taught Roy was not to mourn his fellow soldiers, but to appreciate he was alive. "It saved you so shut up and keep going. Dwelling on the dead doesn't help the living. " Roy commented. They needed funerals, there was something in this ritual that tamed death. Helped to deal with the loss. The chief didn't doubt that, he had never miss a waking for the dead colleague. Yet it would be for naught if the grief killed the last survivors. "Sometimes ignoring them is the only way not to hurt them." Roy said and despite calm demeanour it seemed forced. Their conversation came dangerously close to very personal issues, which would only muddle things even more.

They spent the rest of the journey in a heavy silence. Roy didn't know how to comfort Reed and the captain didn't want another kick in the emotional gut. For the chief it was a weakness, this emotional bog. A leader had to be strong, reliable, unshaken. It was the only way to make people listen and follow.

After a long hike Roy turned to look at the captain, properly since their started."Jesus Christ, you look like shit."The chief said but without malice. More fear and concern. Despite their differences, Roy didn't want to see Reed dropping dead. "Sit and rest, I will gather things for the fire." The chief offered, still gazing at the spectacle around. It was bright as during the day but the atmosphere quickly cooled down. The alien planet suffered from the great changes in temperatures. Around many dried twigs were scattered, hopefully their fumes weren't toxic. Roy sighed and pulled out a handgun from the holster. It was a military issued model armed with radical invasive projectiles. Small but deadly. "Just don't shoot me." He said and went on with preparing the camp. The chief hoped only survivors would be lured toward the light.

"Look at you, coddling him like a momma bear." Natalia bit back. She didn't want to lose a battle of wits against Scratch. No matter their animosity, the anthropologist helped with Lennox as best as she could. Natalia had no military training and got tired quickly. Around them was only dried up desert "If the aliens were to choke with the local dust, they would have done it long time ago." Natalia summed up, her gaze from time to time turning toward the ship they had left behind. "Once we set up a camp, there wouldn't be much to do. If my fate is to die on this planet, I want at least to see the aliens." Natalia whined. She was getting tired, nothing in the woman's life had prepared her for such exertion. When Scratch pointed at the bright freckles farther away, Natalia's face immediately brightened. "It's a smoke." She breathed and was ready to run toward the source of light but Lennox slowed them down. Only then did the anthropologist realised how cold it became. The adrenaline kept them. For how long, though?

Roy finally gathered enough twigs to lit up a small fire. Pleasant warmth immediately spread through his body. Even the augmentations didn't protect him from exposure. They were to make him faster and stronger, not to turn him into an elephant seal. "Hopefully the smoke will bring whoever survived the crash." He sighed and laid down by the fire.
 
Reed was a civilian pilot ... a charismatic leader but not a militaristic leader. He was good at keeping a team together and getting the job done but without a doubt, he true talent lay in piloting. The Conquerer couldn't have had a better pilot, the fact the shuttle had survived the emergency crash landing was testament to his skill, it was clear that whatever alien defence mechanism they'd triggered, it was impossible to have prevented or evaded. It wasn't anyones fault, and yet, the burden of guilt was hard to shake off. The shuttle gave some hope though, it was still intact and if they cut away some of the vegetation that was in the way surrounding the shuttle, they could become airborne again. Of course, the wise choice was to stay on the ground until they were sure they had evac, fuel was too precious to waste and drifting in space wasn't a safe option either.

Instinct and the base primal urge to survive against the odds kicked in, regardless of Roy's "ignore them" comment. Technically he was right, aside from himself and Roy, everyone else could be dead, and they'd join the growing list of casualties if they didn't work on staying alive. Although he'd come to terms with the fact that they were likely to die on this planet, Reed wasn't the type to lie down and die anyway ... he hoped Lennox was with someone, someone who'd protect him, Reed knew he didn't have that same strength, not anymore, he'd survived a car crash in his childhood, but he'd never recovered from it, this would push him over the edge unless someone held him safely.

Reed muttered a weary and sarcastic "thanks" when Roy pointed out that he looked like shit. Reed was positive no one who'd been on the ship was looking great right now, they were either dead or sweaty and wounded, struggling to crawl out of their pods and respond to the radio call.
He clicked off the safety on the handgun and scanned the surrounding area, keeping a sharp lookout in case something dared to attack them, though the planet seemed more dead than alive aside from the diverse flora.

"Most of the escape pods will have landed within a twenty kilometer radius of the crash site ... it could be a couple of days till everyone finds their way to the shuttle." Reed said, thankfully emergency protocols tended to blast escape pods in the same general vicinity, with appropriate distance between pods to prevent collisions, if the crew had input the correct eject procedures they'd not be scattered all over the planet ... unfortunately in all the panic, Reed assumed that many people had missed their mark entirely ... hopefully some landed within the 20 kilometer zone.

Reed helped stoke up the fires a little, they'd have to rotate shifts of sleeping and watching between the two of them, it would get tough unless they found more survivors to share the load with.
"We should have enough rations to last a while, but it can't hurt to run some tests on local plant life to see whats edible and whats poisonous ... Hopefully one of the scientists survived" he poked at a twig on the fire with another, thicker branch.


Scratch elected to ignore Nat's complainig ... or else she'd shoot her in the foot and then have TWO useless civvies to drag along. The sight of smoke on the horizon was tremendous relief. It had to be intentional, and it was unlikely little tiny lizards could make a fire much less one large enough to produce good, thick smoke. It was a beacon of light and hope. "Someones setting up a camp, there are other survivors" Claudia couldn't help the beaming smile that cracked across her face, relief, there were others stuck here with them.
"Lets hit that camp and warm up already, hey, Lennox, cmon kiddo. " Claudia said, she was pleasantly surprised to find Lennox steadied himself on his feet enough to keep going, unaided this time.
 
In a way, Reed and Roy would be a good, complementary team. That was the idea in the first place - to have leaders who were able to handle every situation. What the corporate think tank hadn't foreseen was the fact their personal choices and values clashed on the most basic level. It wasn't about the ship shot from the orbit, this couldn't have been avoided. Neither navigator nor the most skilled pilot hadn't saved the day. Despite that, Roy saw guilt that gnawed at Reed. He knew the feeling well but after dozens of losses one either adjusted or went crazy. For a moment the soldier's eyes became unfocused and when he turned attention back to Reed, something unexpected happened. "I know it hurts. I have lost enough men to learn this pain but it's the survivors we have to worry about. You can wallow in guilt later." It wasn't the most empathetic consolation but came from a man who had long time ago cut off most human emotions. It was still something.

Reed didn't look too good but Roy had no doubts he could handle a gun. The entire civilian crew had gone through the military training. Roy had his worries but didn't believe Reed would shoot him by accident. On purpose…That's another matter. "How many did we lost?" Roy asked, trying to put figures together. "Twenty crew members, at least two died in the cockpit, three were electrocuted, I saw our astrophysicist being sucked into vacuum…Maybe five survived, ten…" He quickly did the math but those were only hypothesis. "There is a good chance some of the medical staff survived since I've sent Scratch to fetch them." Roy looked at Reed. The chief didn't mention Lennox on purpose, false hope could be a powerful driven force but a deceitful as well when destroyed by the grim reality.

Finding the dried up plants wasn't difficult, most of the flora lacked water. They looked dead to the human eyes, yet they let out thick tears when broken. He used a simple lighter to create fire - one hundred years into space exploration and the simplest solutions were still irreplaceable. As soon as the heat enveloped the plants, a horrible stench filled the air. Roy coughed. "Oh, that's nasty." He whizzed and snickered. "I am not sure I want to try anything that smells like that." The chief sat down on the opposite side of the fire. He flexed his fingers. The pain began to throb in the tips of his fingers. The clear sign of incoming inflammation in the places where flesh turned into polymer fibres.

"Soooo…" Roy started awkwardly, trying to start a conversation if only for the sake of Reed. "What's up with your heart." The chief asked. It was always difficult for him to start small talks.

"It's not like he is dying." Natalia sighed. "He is just high. We can just sit here and wait till it passes. In few hours he should be fine." She summed up. Lennox was of small stature , which explained why he flew to the drowsy Neverland after being stuffed with tranquillisers. This said she was eager to find other survivors as much as Claudia. "What if…it's an alien ruse?" Natalia suddenly asked, stopping in her tracks.
 
"If its some convoluted alien trap, I'll do what I always do" Scratch replied haughtily, "Shoot my way out. Try not to get in the way of the bullets, Princess, don't want to waste medical supplies." she scoffed. Keeping Lennox moving was a little easier now, but he was still quiet as a mouse. Claudia had realised pretty early in the mission that the doctor was shy, good natured, certainly not exceptionally talkative, but this silence wasn't entirely shyness. It was more akin to some kind of verbal paralysis. He was in lock-down mode to protect himself from further trauma but Claudia knew that tactic wasn't helpful. Talking was important, that was why people talk to therapists and psychologists to deal with their problems, the silent treatment never worked.
Regardless, she wasn't equipped to play the psychoanalyst, nor was that a priority. Finding other survivors and setting up a camp was priority, getting Lennox back on his feet (mentally of course, he seemed to finally manage to physically pull himself together) was a subgoal.


"I'm beginning to think you're right Nat" Claudia said, as much as she hated to admit it, Nat had a bit of an ego sometimes, CLaudia too, she hated losing in their constant (yet healthy) battle of wills.
"Whoever put together this team chose us for a reason. Why did we have Roy? An old soldier, why not one of those fancy new cyborgs who have all the firepower and less of the side-effects? Why hire a pilot who has a heart defect? I mean his flight record is unparalleled but his condition is usually fatal? Of course, he has the best doctor the team could find to keep him alive to fly us around, but that doctor is riddled with psych issues clearly, not to mention he's still practically a high schooler" she could list a bunch more reasons why the team choice was disastrous at best. The people who were hired all had notable flaws, so other people (equally flawed) were hired to compliment the flaws. Why weren't unflawed candidates hired? Why wasn't a more balanced team selected rather than building this mission on a shaky house of cards?
"I'm beginning to think they knew more about this mission then they let on when we were deployed" she concluded, "I think they knew we'd crash".



Reed immediately saw through Roy's "false hope". Suggesting the medical team survived without promising Lennox did (no one could promise anything, not that that stopped Roy from allowing Reed to at least hope for the best). He doubted Lennox would move, even if the other med staff survived, that was no guarantee for Lennox. There were only 2 nurses, Lennox was the youngest crew member and the only doctor. On a small ship, they didn't need a huge medical team, the troop of scientists who had accompanied them had some transferable skills too, enough to get by if the worst befell one or two of the med staff.

"We could use some medical specialists, there's bound to be some injuries that need tending to after that crash" Reed nodded slowly. He could do some crude first aid, everyone knew the basic survival stuff, but a nurse or doctor would be a greater comfort to have. "At least if Scratch got to them, they have the muscle to haul their asses to safety" no one doubted Scratch in her ability to stubbornly charge through a blazing fire if duty called, she was the toughest bitch Reed had ever met, also one of the sweetest, even though she covered her good nature in expletives and vulgar jokes for fear of looking too frilly or, godforbid, appearing to be a "pussy".

Reed gagged at the noxious smell from the plants, it didn't appear poisonous but it was horribly foul. He was grateful for the breather mask he had which filtered out at least some of the horrendous smell, not to mention it eased the strain of breathing the thin atmosphere. "Thats rancid" Reed agreed, fanning away the smell with his hand. "Perhaps there are some alternatives" he compromised, there were lots of scuttling tiny lizard creatures, while they didn't look particularly appealing, and they wouldn't provide for a four-course meal, they would make for easy prey. Easy to catch, easy to cook, hopefully easy to eat... Fortunately they still had emergency rations from the jettisoned escape pods (and they could salvage more from the empty pods that launched) which should last long enough if they planned ahead. There was a considerably larger cache of food stores in the ruins of the ship, if they searched the crash site, hopefully it wouldn't all be destroyed. Of all the horrible things that had happened, Reed was relieved that at least they didn't appear to be facing imminent starvation.

Reed noticed Roy flexing his fingers, he recalled the brief in Roy's file ... the next few weeks and months would probably be incredibly painful for the soldier, even more so with a limited supply of painkillers and (perhaps) no doctor to administer any kinds of treatments.
"I have WPW Syndrome" Reed said, it wasn't something he hid, most of the crew knew he had some kind of disorder which was why Lennox paid close attention to his health. Now that Roy knew about Reed's secret relationship, there wasn't really any point in hiding shit from him, especially not when they might all die here anyway, what did he have to lose?
"When my heart beats, the electrical signals the nerves send through the muscles switch off too soon" that was the gist of it really, "Sometimes one of the chambers in my heart just switches off, so theres these little implants in there that keep it going, but they're incredible sensitive ... experimental. Lennox developed them, he's still working on improving them. Usually someone with a heart like mine doesn't live past their fifth birthday, but my dad was a military man and had a high paygrade. I spent a lot of my childhood hooked up to machines in hospital just to keep me alive long enough to find some kind of treatment. Eventually ... I got some treatments, got strong enough to get up and walk around and stuff ... wanted to be in the military like my old man, I obviously could never serve on the front lines so I learned to fly." he laughed a little to himself, self-depricating, "No one wants a copilot who comes with a defibrillator though ... So I didn't even get to fly much in the military, started working commercially on my own ship. Got too sick to work, hooked up to machines again, then Lennox asked to use me for a case study. He pioneered a tiny electric implant that ... god I dunno how it works, but it does ... So thats whats wrong with my heart. This little device-" he tapped his chest, somewhere buried inside was a little chip of sorts, "Watches my heart activity and electrocutes it when it switches off. Not ideal, but it sure beats being bedridden."

He looked up at Roy. Roy was no strangers to chips and implants, but he was at the peak of his health when they went in, they enhanced him, and they were slowly killing him.
"I read your file ... You're no stranger to implants yourself ... But they kinda work in reverse for you don't they? You were healthy, they put in the cybernetic stuff, and now its slowly attacking your system, right?" perhaps it came out sounding harsh, but Reed wasn't attacking Roy, he was trying to build some kind of common ground between them. "You ever regret getting augs?" Reed asked. They couldn't really talk soldier-to-soldier. Reed was more civilian pilot than military despite his training and attempt to serve, but they were both half-man-half-machine. That was something they could both understand.
 
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"Sometimes I envy you the simple paths your mind takes." Natalia looked up at the vast sky. She had never been good at naming star clusters but even a novice like her could recognise the uniqueness of the alien world. No North Star, nor the Big Dipper. It was unsettling. Lennox was still lethargic but not unconscious. The sedatives clearly wore off but something else kept the doctor frozen in this emotional limbo. Natalia wondered if it was the loss of his lover pushed him into it. The woman had little time for self-reflection. Later, when looking back, Natalia would understand why the doctor's state angered her so much. It reminded her why she chose the miserable loneliness. Because it was this difficult to lose a loved one. "I hope he won't remain zombified for long." Nat sighed, wondering if she could muster enough sociopathy to leave Lennox behind. In this state, he was useless as a doctor or even as a crewmember. Roy would do that: safety of all above safety of one soul. Finally, she decided that empathy and humanitarian values made them who they were. If humans lost that, their would have been nothing left. "Of course, I am almost always right." Nat shrugged, slowly slipping into similar indifference that haunted Lennox. "Hm…" The chocolate haired woman pondered on Claudia's idea. It wasn't without merit. "I know some of us got their tickets bought." Natalia stated carefully. She pretended it wasn't about anyone in particularly but most knew her father had enough power and founded the project generously which let him pick who some of the scientists were. Including an anthropologist. This said other corporations put in a fucked up doctor, a dying veteran and some other screw ups. "Roy is a good tactician and an honoured veteran." She mused. "But there are others, younger and as skilled." Natalia couldn't shake off the worry that swelled in her stomach.

"Do you really think someone fucked us over?" She asked. "Do you think they sent someone before us?" Natalia blinked. Shocked with this new revelation. What if they weren't the first mission…What if they weren't the rescue one as well. "Holy shit." The woman breathed. "Why would they do that? Wasting millions just to kill us off?" The implications of this theory were terrifying and impossible, yet Scratch's paranoia was infectious.

"We could use a lot of things right now." Roy summed up. He never liked playing 'if's' game. They had to push on, gather whatever was left of their small team and survey the nearest surroundings. Reed was right, the fact he had at least of the security members increased their chances significantly. The fact it was Scratch even added to that. Roy respected her ferocity and strong will. The amount of work this woman had put to climb the steep, male dominated ladder told him much. "Yeah, enjoy the small graces." The dancing flame caught Roy's gaze, digging from memory everything he had been taught about loss and war. There was only one law important during the war: Murphy's law. If there is something that could go wrong, it certainly will. "If there are, I still don't want to eat them." Roy commented with a wry smile.

Only did Roy pulled his stare away from the fire was when Reed told his story, about heart and fixing it. "How strange." Roy laid down on the dry sand, letting his body rest. The rifle was at the hand's reach though. Even when looking relaxed, the veteran always expected danger. It was instilled deeply in him. This constant vigilance. Murphy's law. "He mended your heart in more than one way." Roy said. People often remained shocked at times when the soldier lowered his guard, even just a little bit. Not many knew the military gave him a possibility to finish few years of college. He chose literature, of all things. "So, your father's a military man. " Roy returned back to his family, to his estranged daughter. "We are not the best people to raise children." He added, still looking at the sky. A hint of nostalgia in his voice. For someone with so many changes to his body and wartime traumas, Roy retained his personalities echoes - hearty, pleasant, with some traits of a ladies man. "You needed my file to notice my implants?" The chief said with usual mirth. "Yeah, filling your brain tissue with polymers and metal does this to you in the long run." He didn't smile anymore but his features didn't show any other emotion. Reed's question caught him off guard and Roy looked at the pilot with a barely indicated surprise. It was strange that after all the bitter words exchanged between them, he wanted to learn so intimate things. "I want to tell you I did it for the good of mankind. To fight terrorists and dictators." Roy started carefully. "But it wouldn't be the truth. The truth is, I needed money and my career was almost over with all the injuries." He began to pointed his fingers at his body. Starting from the left shoulder. "Shattered joints, ruptured spleen, barely working knee. I wanted my daughter to go to a good school, to have chances I was never given." He raised his left hand. In the warm glow of fire the artificial fibres of polymer strengthen muscles. Akin to dark worms slithering under the pale skin.
 
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"Yeah, well I didn't get that fancy rich girl education you got so my brain ain't nothin' if not simple" Scratch replied gruffly. In this day and age, it wasn't good to be "average" where she came from. Her brothers had all been exceptional and her parents had used their children in dick-measuring contests with other well-to-do folks involved in Livco. Scratch hadn't been good ... she'd never fit in at school and got herself expelled as quickly as possible. She hung around with the working class folks and worked her way up from the bottom. Private security, a brief stint as a merc-for-hire that she didn't talk about much ... Her parents boasted about her siblings, "Shane was made a governor, Richie acquired a new company, Calvin's daughter is on the honour roll in her school ..." Claudia noticed she was never mentioned, her parents even boasted about cousins and then pulled out evasive tactics if anyone ever asked "And whats your youngest doing? Your daughter". She could hear her mothers voice in her head now as she waited out-of-sight in the office while her parents boasted in the lobby. "Oh Claudia? She's been off travelling the past few months, so busy, she barely has time to keep in touch." Far from the truth of course ... the true story was usually "She was arrested, we bailed her out, Again." By the time she'd figured out she probably should have stayed in school ... it was too late to go back, she was fortunate her parents found her a place in Livco to work, putting her fighting skills to some use. "Perhaps it wouldn't have been such a bad idea to have stayed in school ... I sure as hell wouldn't have wound up on this wasteland planet if I had" she sighed. The sting of her past made it hard to appreciate the spectacularly alien sights around her. The sky, the flora and fauna ... it was hard to appreciate it when she was sure this was the last thing she'd see before she slowly starved and choked to death.

Lennox's misery was a distraction from her own woes though ... as Nat quickly pointed out ... the doctor was a zombie. "I don't think it's just the drugs Nat ... There's way more going on here." Lennox had had a manic episode before she ship was going down ... but why?. "I've got some questions for the Captain if we ever find him" if he even made it out alive. "I'd save a couple questions for the bosses back at Livco too but ... I don't think we'll get back to ask them, or ... if we do, I think we'll have already figured it out" if the latter occurred, Scratch was positive she'd visit Livco HQ with a big ol' bomb wrapped up in a nice big bow for them. "If they told us this was a suicide mission it wouldn't suck so bad" she kicked a dry clump of dirt, "I hate getting fucked over" if she'd known what she was getting into ... heck, she might have still done this, but no one had said they were going out here to die ... it was a risk, but she'd assumed a narrow one, they were too expensive, the mission too valuable ... it didn't seem like this was how things would pan out.
"Maybe they did launch a mission before ours ... maybe not, but they sure as hell didn't tell us everything. There are too many secrets, part of me wishes I'd trusted those Citadel lackies sooner, even though we were from different corporations, we're all part of the one crew. Maybe things would have been different if we'd ... oh I dunno" she let out an impatient sigh. "How long have you known his secret for?" Claudia asked, jerking her head in Lennox's direction, not that he seemed to notice or care, he was worlds away. "And why didn't you tell me sooner? Gossip is just about the only girly thing I indulge in"


Reed shrugged, it felt weird to get too sentimental with Roy of all people and yet ... well, Roy was trying ... They'd all lose someone, they'd all lost someone, even a super soldier was still at least a little human like the rest of them. "He's gifted" Reed agreed, Lennox had mended his heart, certainly, he'd also brought a great deal of joy into Reed's life even though it was poignant.

Reed didn't know about raising a family himself, he had none left. "Military parents might not be the most ... present, but ... you don't have to be there 24/7 to raise a child good Roy ... " Roy was clearly feeling some guilt over failing his family in one way or another. He didn't have to, he'd tried, the fact he felt guilt at all meant he clearly had his heart in the right place. "Your daughter knows you love her more than anything else in the world right? Cause thats what matters ... Once we get out of this mess ... You better go straight to her and make sure she knows that, you tell her that" Roy might have been realistic and might even have come to terms with the possibility of wasting away out here, but Reed was an optimist, and he'd give Roy something to cling onto, something to pull him back home.

Reed laughed a little when Roy pointed out that you didn't need a file to see his implants. "I knew about the implants without the files of course, but the files outlined a little bit about how they work ... the side effects ... the things you don't see with the naked eye" Reed explained. Something that wasn't explained in the file was why ... and Roy's answer was ... so very human. For someone who regularly broached into machine territory, Roy was still very much organic in Reed's opinion. Hell, Reed was hardly a shining example of "all-natural 100% human", his chest was wired up like acomputer.
"Why would you wanna tell a lie like that?" Reed asked. Suuure, "I do it to save the world" has a nice ring to it but its not the only reason. "Wanting to give your daughter the best chances in life is as good a cause as any ... better even. Besides ... what joy is there in saving the world if you can't save those you love as well?" Roy could achieve both, he could "save the world" and help his daughter, in fact, saving the world greatly aided keeping his daughter alive and well.

Losing the ship had been like losing the world for Reed ... and losing Lennox was equally earth shattering ... Reed was positive once the shock wore in after a nights rest, the realisation would dawn on him, he didn't think he'd last much longer once this numbed period wore off, once it sank in just how much shit they were in now.
 
( I hope it's ok I pushed the action a bit forward, and made a silly at the end - yey for black comedies? )

Natalia turned to look at Claudia. The soldier girl was right - her mind was simple, with simple honest values. Very humanitarian ones, despite the gruesome job she had. Often the anthropologist envied her. This simplicity which let Scratch worry only about the next meal and the next battle rather than the entire life, the impending doom. She noticed this trait in Roy as well. As if both of them had forsaken the reflectance to survive the war's horrors. Natalia was different - she spent years researching human cultures. Their art, their religion. She had learned about various shapes of divine creatures and finally arrived to a conclusion there is no answer nor solace which meant afterlife was a simple oblivion. I think too much. Natalia sighed inwardly. "Hey. I finished school and got stuck here. Maybe were both screwed over. Maybe it's just a giant simulation and we didn't go anywhere. Instead, they keep us in a fucking stasis to poke around our brains while a real crew chills on some paradise planet." There was anger in her voice, not Scratch but at life in general. A horrible fate that had pulled their ship our of orbit and crushed as if she was a paper origami. Natalia blinked away swelling tears. It was enough the doctor had a fit of some kind. He couldn't take the pressure which rendered him completely useless. Another thing to worry about.

The situation was so bad, even Claudia slipped into self-pity. "We were both bailed out." Natalia commented drily. "Don't blame your misery on others, we both had a choice." She snapped. The tension was growing between them. Some things were better left unsaid so Natalia bit back few other snippy comments. "Turning this trip into a pity party won't help" She only added, already wishing to take back the quip. Claudia made it only worse when grilled her about the secret relationship. "Reed asked me not to tell, ok. I keep my promises…sometimes. Plus, he does have a good looking ass. " Natalia sighed, trying to get Claudia off her back. "Beside, I also didn't blab to anyone about Roy and you. I am nice like that. " Suddenly it struck her. "Why are we even talking about who sleeps with who?" Natalia wheezed and then understood. The grainy dust from the ground clogged the breathing mask's filters, created for the loss of oxygen and pressure in the ship. "Oh god Claudia, I am high." Natalia smiled at the discovery. "At least I will die happy." The woman stopped and fell face down onto the rusty collared ground. "I will lay down here and enjoy this state." The woman proclaimed with a giggle.

"Yeah, he is crazy too." Roy sighed, recognizing the vigilance and moments of derealisation Lennox often slipped.It was hard to look at. "He has PTSD." The soldier pushed himself upward on his elbow to face Reed. " I have seen too many kids in this state to miss it." Roy's voice trailed off. "When you see someone dying, a part of you dies with them. People like me do it so often, at one point there is nothing else. Those who are sensitive, who can't separate themselves from what they see end up…broken." He continued. Sometimes it wasn't just someone's peril but an imminent doom which brought this constant state of overwhelming anxiety. "Whose death did he witness?" The soldier asked, shooting at the first possible choice. Reed might have refused to tell him, after all hey weren't on the best of terms. A blow to the jaw wasn't the best way to show the friend's affection.

A smile caught between sorrowful and nostalgic showed on Roy's features but it didn't reach his blue eyes. "It's not about being physically there for your child, it's about being…without any baggage. Without thinking, if you'll survive another mission. After few close calls you start to pull away, otherwise, your death will hurt those you love." He shrugged. "No, I don't she does." There was no sadness in his voice. It was just another statement. "But I love her and it's all that matters. Everything they paid me for this wreck of a mission I put on Monica's trust fund." Reed was so naive and innocent sometimes. A trait of the good, honest men. "She doesn't really want to see me. Beside…"Roy looked around. "We are not coming back and you know it." The soldier once more stretched himself on the ground.

"But I admire your optimism." He wanted to add something more but he heard…voices coming from the direction of the looming, ancient ship. "I'll be damn." Roy let out a snorting laugh. "I can recognize this bickering everywhere by now. Queen Natalia and Tough Claudia."

Roy's eyes grew wider in a surprise when the anthropologist yelled. "I love this planet! Woo!" Like a junkie on a biggest high. Just as a precaution he placed his fingers on the rifle. "This is Roy, shut the fuck up." The man hissed into his radio that should already catch their wavelength. "Roy!!! I love you!" Came from another side of a thing, mushroom forest.

"For God's sake." He cursed and pulled himself upward.
 
"You? A nice person" Claudia scoffed. "Oh please, you have dirt on everyone and everything ... You kept your mouth shut coz of him" Claudia nodded her head back in Lennox's direction. "Its no fun to break toys that are already broken" Nat may have been able to hold her tongue, but it seemed Claudia couldn't quite exercise that same degree of self control. Nat was her best friend, but Claudia had seen her be incredibly manipulative and bitchy to get her way when she wanted it. It was impressive, Claudia could be abitch in her own way, but Nat had a real talent for getting under peoples skin and into their heads. Claudia was impressed, but they were dying on an alien planet, she was in a less than appreciative mood of Nat's rather spectacular talents. "The Cap' is too easy as well ... bet he caved the second you told him you knew, begged you to stay quiet" she was surprisingly more astute than she gave herself credit, hitting the nail on the head. Reed wasn't a good blackmailer, at least, he didn't enjoy it when he had to twist things to get his own way, and when it came to being blackmailed, Scratch could tell he wouldn't be fun either. He'd cave immediately, or take a bullet.

"Me an' Roy was just a stupid macho thing ..." Claudia insisted. "I don't care who knows, I could bite his cock off as quick as suck it. You wouldn't understand, in your cushy little office with your books, you never had to suck it up in battle with a bunch of testosterone-junkies who think I ain't nothin' more than a giant vagina with bad aim" CLaudia always had to "man up" and using sexuality to her advantage seemed to really put guys in their place... Roy was ... odd, by all counts, but ... he'd always had a begrudging respect for her. She could lie and say she slept with him to prove a point, but, maybe she was just looking for companionship and he'd been there at the time ...

Claudia wasn't as big a lightweight as Nat, but the atmosphere was beginning to get to her too. Lennox was already doped up to the heavens, sedatives keeping him in his zombie-like state. Scratch was lightheaded but sober enough to focus on pushing forward toward the smoke they saw, the camp. She dragged Nat along and yelled off expletives about her being useless and high and a stupid waste of space ... she loved her to pieces really, hopefully Nat wouldn't take it personally, she didn't mean anything, she was just as scared as everyone else.


By now, Reed was gradually dealing with the fact that Lennox might have perished on the ship ... talking about him, good bad or indifferent made it seem like he wasn't gone forever ... he was just ... in a pod somewhere, waiting. Brave. He'd always been brave, a survivor. Roy might have assumed Reed would stay defensive and distant but right now all they had was each other.
"He's a doctor ... he's seen tonnes of deaths" Reed answered. It was obvious death wasn't a new concept for Lennox but Roy was right, death had traumatised Lennox, long before he became a doctor.
"His sister. Car accident. There was nothing he could have done ... but ... He'll never accept that" even if he did, he was crippled with survivors guilt anyway.

He sighed ... ROy was right, brutally honest ... and right. They werent going to make it out ... even if some miracle happened ... they wouldn't all make it, they were stretched too far thin. Some of them might make it back, but, the string of crew deaths and devastation had not reached its end.
"I know" he admitted quietly. "... But a Captain ain't supposed to say honest shit like that ... they're supposed to be brave and smart and ready for everything and have backup plans" he shook his head, a self-depricating smirk on his lips. "I didn't have a plan ... no plans, no backups ... nothing." There was no way they could have evaded the alien energy pulse, it wasn't Reed's fault and it was fucking incredible he'd managed to land the shuttle in one piece ... but he'd always feel guilty about what happened regardless.

"... and another thing-" CLaudia continued lecturing Nat who was utterly wasted by now, streams ofnonsense spouting out her mouth. Since Lennox was silent and ... Claudia didn't even know if he was listening, and Nat couldn't give a flying fuck, she was able to vent all her frustrations. "If you ever put your-"

This is Roy shut the fuck up

"Well I'll be-" Claudia stared dumbfounded at the camp in the distance. Roy and ... someone else had set up a camp, theyd made it out.

Reinvigorated, she began tugging her little band of useless companions along.
 
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