This is not necessarily a angry or negative rant but felt that is was mostly my own opinions and become something personal to me, the thoughts are a bit broken up and it feels Ranty to me. I decided to listen to a song and free write with that song. I am going to share both of those with all of you. What is love?.... What is this pain, this joy, agony? bliss? What is it and what does it mean, how does it work, is it good or bad, new or old? What is...Love....but moment to moment compromised existence. In accordance to one another, like two galaxies situated below a black hole that propels itself through the universe. Love. That deeply settled illusion that can only bare thick, twisted roots, and with primordial purpose, burrow inward to the deepest reaches you posess. What keeps us craving this invasion of ourselves that we always desire that which is not us. That makes us believe that Love is separate from what, and who we are. Why do we deny it, diminish, and delude it? Glorify and worship it? Am I not love? Are you? Why do we control it and define it...how can anyone define Love the same way? Love has never been so...defined by a society then right now in my eyes. Love for me, extends beyond all I have had, all of me and all I have ever known. I can't touch it but it burns me, scorching my flesh like the sun and I have felt this with all the love I have felt for others. The pain it causes me to love them so intensely but know they are destroying themselves, the pain when you hurt by their words because you valued their opinions more than most, or the pain you feel when they lie to you. I can't touch it yet it consumes me, leaving me winded, in awe of its rapture of the helpful caring words of a friend, the embrace of loving arms. The joy it causes when they smile and laugh with you, the bliss it enduces when they show you support, and the veil that lifts, when anyone assures you that you are....never truly alone. I can't.... I can't......... I won't listen to the nay Sayers or believers and what they say...because to know ,I just have to look within and there you are, all of you, safe in my heart, well beings within my thoughts and so utterly and extremely loved....with every ounce of love I posess. I sometimes feel like nothing can love more than I can...and No one can love like I can...and I suppose that is true to some extent. I suppose...I've been manifesting these intense chambers long before this soul entered this flesh. That the universe knew long before and prepared me then for the velocity of emotions, capable of managing them with communication. Some people aren't even as cut off from me as they believe to be....and yet I love them....the most... ~Sigh~ I don't even know...If this is making any fucking sense. I am...constantly reaching out to people, because...for the longest time, I remember having no one. No one to help me survive, no one to help me understand, no on to offer insight into a situation I didn't need to be in. No one. Now....I am suddenly surrounded by good, honest, true, most Human being of the beings I have ever met, and my chambers are being tested. Their beating, on trial, and to the rhythm of unheard frequencies. I express everything I am, If I am doing something....I put EVERYTHING I AM INTO IT, UNTIL I GET IT, UNTIL IT IS ME....or I don't do it at all. Love comes to me not at will, emotions aren't something to turn off and on of and on off an on they are REAL they do as they please. So when I feel, I feel that with all I have ever had. I follow it through. Love stays forever, it NEVER goes away, they things you love about another are the things you come to love about yourself....loved pets, a dear friend, lover, family. Permanently marked with the best of them we are changed by them, enjoyed by them, and guided by them, now matter how short or long their presence in our lives, their love and your love for them is...eternal. In the end what are we but organic data, collected through flesh to be later transferred to that vast collective external hard drive. If what I return to is 'all' and 'everything', I want to go back with the most intense feelings. Especially Love. ...Especially Love.... it is the only thing I have ever felt for everyone, and ensured that I felt every damn emotion there is to feel. I owe all I have had to love, and I that I am, for that matter.