Lost in sanity

[Winterwings]

Private roleplay for Winterwings and WishfulNemo.

***

Laura was sitting at her desk in the room. Her office, her working place. She liked it there. Even though the walls were white, reminding her of the fact that it was a ward in the hospital, she had decorated the room a bit. There were two dark red armchairs in the room, with a little table between them, in the middle of the room. In one of the corners, there was a desk with a computer, a chair, papers and pens. She was writing some papers, preparing for the meeting with Alwin.

Outside the window, birds were singing. The sun was shining, but it was a bit windy and cold. Laura closed the window, shutting out the sound of bird song. She needed to concentrate. Walking over to the red armchair, she wondered what it'd be like meeting Alwin. Would he be nervous? Calm? Drugged? Laura didn't like it when the staff drugged the patients so that they had a hard time even thinking, but she knew that it was sometimes necessary. She didn't think that Alwin was on much, if any, medication, as he hadn't been in the ward for more than a few days. "I can't believe I didn't ask for those papers", she murmured, thinking about whether he was on meds or not. She knew she had to meet him to get to know him, though - she couldn't learn everything by reading papers.

Adjusting the beige and white striped sweater she was wearing, she glanced at the little clock at the table. Soon he'd be here. She played with her tangled hair, knowing that she had forgotten to comb it (but she didn't think she looked too weird because of it), waiting for Alwin to arrive.

 

[Nemopedia]

Long halls with office lights flickering above him, reflecting on the white walls painfully into his eyes. At least his hands weren't cuffed any more, haven proven himself not to do anything outrageous or to commit any murder. Calm and calculated he was and they knew that the crime Alwin had committed -if he had committed it at all- wasn't done in a fit of anger or another emotion that would have blinded him on the moment of happening. It all had been a little unfortunate, whether he had done it or not people would still give him an ugly eye, he needed something more to clear his name away and climb the stairs back up.

It was then that they stopped in front of a door. Average, nothing special, made of wood and unprotected, only some copper key should keep the office closed from outsiders. However, where he to be in possession of some hair pin he could break in at any given moment. If left unguarded and if he had the wish to do so. Of course he wasn't going to do it and he doubted that anyone would let him do it or any other patients inside of this ward. Surveillance camera's standing in the corners should keep an eye on them, giving out some slight form of intimidation as they were 'the eyes' in the back of their heads. How much of an effect it had he wasn't sure off, Alwin always had believed criminals to be rather fearless to not fear law, but as he was standing inside of their position himself, having a first taste of how it is to be branded as a criminal. He couldn't say he was swaying from his point as he looked up to the corner where the infra-red of the camera was the only colour beside the black of the device itself and the white wall. Bored eyes as the door was swung open by the guard and Alwin was told to go in.

Without much of a worth the male stepped in, slowly, taking his sweet time as he had no haste. As usual he was calm, knowing what was to happen next. How often had he studied these cases of the 'mentally insane' in his short career as a prosecutor? The amount of big cases he had on hands weren't much, but that he was considered a prodigy at his age was undeniable as he strode his way over to one of the seats in front of the lady's desk. Obviously the psychiatrist of the ward, or one of them, but that was none of the matter as Alwin glanced his eye over the extra and empty seat. How very cosy of them, however unneeded as the guards were meant to stand outside and this session was done one on one. Alwin presumed all of the sessions the psychiatrist of this ward had were one on one, unlike a doctor or a relationships counsellor, where people came in pairs. A waste of space, but it was the thought what counts.

Flickering his eyes over to the female Alwin then started to examine her. She was of a small build with her hair in a slight mess, Alwin judged her to be someone who lost herself easily in the heat of the moment, perhaps a little bit of a dreamer, but able to get to the details and knew her job. Whether she was usefull was yet to be determined, but he hoped that the forces didn't underestimate him too much and had put on a stronger weight in charge of him. After all he was supposed to 'crack open', but whether that was going to happen or not was soon to be seen. If his screening was correct in any sense at all.

"Good day." Alwin greeted, casually as he made himself comfortable on his seat. Crossing one leg over the other he then leaned forward to place his head on his hands, elbows keeping them up as a pillar. It was how he sat half of the time on his seat inside of his office, contemplating and curious as of what was to happen next, presuming the options that could follow and in this case, assuming that there was an introduction to come.

 

[Winterwings]

Seeing the rather young boy step inside of her office, Laura smiled briefly. She always did. A bit of a smile had never hurt anyone, had it? Looking at him, she thought of how fragile, or maybe gentle was a better word for it, he looked. He was tiny, in a way. Not short or anything, but slim. It was hard for her to imagine the boy standing not far away from her being able to do anything bad, hurting anyone at all. She knew that looks could betray, though. She reminded herself that she didn't know much - she hadn't heard a word from him, yet she was already thinking of how he had commited any form of crime. Maybe he hadn't even done anything wrong, she thought, trying to stop her thoughts from runnning wild, instead focusing on him, on what to say.

Once he sat down, she nodded briefly as he spoke. "Good day", she replied, thinking of how many times she had done this in the past. This was nothing new to her. Every person is different though, she thought, knowing that there was no rules made before-hand, she didn't know all the answers - if any - just because she had been in similar situations many times before.
Clearing her throat briefly, she leaned forward a bit, looking at him. "Alwin", she said, as if she felt the need to taste his name, how it felt like saying it, before continuing, "my name is Laura. At the first visit, I usually do the introductions. So that we can get a better understanding of each other", she said, paper and pen placed on the table. "I'm thinking things such as likes and dislikes", she said, reaching for the pen, writing something on the paper. "Also, I'd like to hear your thoughts on this", she said, looking at him, dropping the pen for a moment. "Why are you here? Is there anything you're thinking that you'd like to get out of our conversations?" she said, looking quite thoughtful, as she began to write, again. She smiled as she stopped writing a few seconds later, leaning backwards in the armchair, looking at him.

"Just let me know if you think I talk too much. After all, you haven't said much", she said, feeling slightly embarrassed that she had talked for so long - she felt - while he had been sitting there all quiet. "You can draw, too. Anything you'd like to share about yourself. I'll do the same. Sounds good?" she said, pushing a paper over to his side of the table, together with a pen, then bending down over her own paper. As she drew a book representing that she enjoyed reading, she thought about what she was actually doing. Doing the same paper as she had done many times before, she realized, as she wrote and drew a presentation of herself almost automatically. A couple of minutes later, she leaned backwards, looking curiously at Alwin. "When you're ready, you can tell me about yourself - and if you like, using the paper doing it", she said.

 

[Nemopedia]

She went to her job immediately, wasting no to little time as to explain what she was about to do and what her exact intentions were on this first session. Introduction, like he had expected it to be as the female pushed a paper towards him with a pen. Several questions were asked, but she didn't wait for the answer to come out of Alwin as she went over to the next and another. They just came up rapping out of her mouth, pouring over her lips as Alwin just sat there listening to her silently. It wasn't like that there was a pause in her talk that he could jab into, neither did he feel like interrupting as the longer she spoke the more the male could observe her. She leant back, declared that he could be honest with her and spoke further, a slight raise of his brow couldn't be left out as the male found her all too ironic. Claiming that she might talk too much and then intending to follow on speaking. Perhaps the rumours of his seniors had been true, women loved to hear themselves. Though that was a prejudice he didn't like to make without getting any closer to the subject.

Finally silence, after the female was done explaining -which she really didn't had to do for such a long time- Alwin picked up the pen in front of him. Clicking it a few times as he looked up to Laura with an indifferent look. She hadn't left much of an impression beside being a chatter as he sighed to himself, wondering for how long he was to be stuck here. "How much have you been reading into my case?" he asked, first wishing to get down as to how much the female knew about him before he was going to tell anything about himself. After all it could be of importance to know how deep she had nosed herself into his situation and what exactly she knew about him. It would mean for Alwin that there is an image to create and borders to set as to how much he could tell her. At the other hand this was also a way of finding out whether she was doing her job properly. After all; Alwin had no need to incompetent people. Specially not in this stage of the case.

Wiggling the pen between his fingers Alwin stared at his hand, falling into another silence again as he waited for the other to reply. Or at least gave her the amiable time for it before he followed onto the next question he had in mind. "Aren't you in risk by giving me, a murderer, a pen to hands?" he followed finding that she should at the very least know what crime he had committed. The gruesome details could be left for later, but surely a little bit of a psychiatrist knew how to skim over the details before getting to know their 'client'. At least one who was active in an environment where she had to meet up with criminals on a daily base. Now Alwin was certainly not one to know how it all worked, but he figured that the procedures were in the base the same as it was for him as a prosecutor. One had to figure out all of the known details first to set a base before they could start their jobs.

 

[Winterwings]

Laura glanced at him every now and then as she drew a line here and there on her piece of paper. What was he thinking about? She couldn't help but to feel as if she had talked too much. She guessed it was because of her nerves, she was probably nervous meeting her new client. Thinking about it, she realized that she probably was a bit too chatty the first time she met someone. If I had just thought of that before meeting him, she thought, letting out a quiet sigh inside her mind, thinking that she would change. Learn from her mistakes. If only, she thought, looking at him with curiosity in her eyes. She hoped that his first impression of her hadn't ruined it all, made it impossible for him to change his mind about her - maybe in his eyes, she was already that chatty lady who didn't know a thing and seemed to nervous for her own good. She cleared her throat slightly, trying to push away the thoughts that actually had nothing to do with what she was really doing. These thought she should save for later, when she was on her own - not now, with the client himself sitting in the very same room as herself.

She was a bit surprised by his question, "how much have you been reading into my case?" Thinking about it, she had of course read the papers that she had had. How much was it, really? How much was a rather thick bunch of papers worth if there was nothing of interest written on them? She tilted her head slightly, still thinking about how to answer his question. Saying that she hadn't read much could make the impression that she wasn't committed to his case, not being interested in it, or not doing her job properly, which certainly wasn't the case. On the other hand, maybe she would be able to hear things from his point of view - if Alwin thought that she knew a lot already, having read quite a lot about his case, maybe he'd skip some things that she'd like to hear from him. She figured if he wanted to tell her his point of view on things, he would. No need to rush things, she thought.
"I've read what I feel is enough for me to be able to get my own picture of you by actually seeing you in person, instead of my way of seeing you being too affected by what I've read", she said in a thoughtful tone, looking quite serious as she drew the cover of her favorite book on her piece of paper.

"Aren't you in risk by giving me, a murderer, a pen to hands?" his words made her smile in amusement for a second. Then she thought about it, seriously, but still taking it lightly. She put her paper and pen down and leaned forward just a little, then back in a more straight position. "I think that the staff at the ward would have told me if they thought it was an inappropriate thing to do", she said, looking out the window for a moment, thinking. "Besides", she said, taking her eyes off of the window and looked at him, "you don't need a pen to kill me, do you?"

Letting those words linger in the air, Laura picked up her drawing and quickly made the finishing touches before putting it down on the table once more, indicating that she was done.

 

[Nemopedia]

Surprise covered the female's face. A small pause of silence fell as she was thinking, pondering of how to approach the question as naturally as possible. Of course it was only more than logic that she was to think of what she was to say, the fact that Alwin was testing her so painfully obvious in the question. He was a prosecutor, loving it to torture others with questions you couldn't exactly answer right or wrong. Just passing down more information to him so that he knew to what he was spending time with. She answered, after much thought, but the male was dissatisfied for it was just a mere answer vaguely passable. He could question her more, insisting to know how much she felt to be enough. However, he had been seen through, obviously given the answer she had given to him. Laura wasn't going to give him much of a clearer answer than what he had received now and this much annoyed him. He wanted a clear image, draw the borders of to where her knowledge expanded to, but she wasn't intending for him to know and much less did he had any intention to let her know.

Her hand was still moving over the paper, the pencil going over the paper as to draw figures. What it was Alwin didn't pay much heed to, knowing that she would, if finished, turn the paper and show. Like a small game of hints, trying to get to know each other by the use of drawings, sketches and conversations to get to know each other. It was only most unfortunate that Alwin had always despised to pick up the pen. Much more preferring to have someone else do the job. Writing, drawing, he all hated it with much of a passion and it was for that reason why he perhaps may be much complained about for his horrible and most unreadable handwriting. He liked to slump off, rush it a little as to make sure that he wasn't spending more time to it than he should and wanted to. And now currently? Flicking a few lose strands out of his eyes the male looked down at the paper, still much displeased with the method she was using to get closer to him.

"you don't need a pen to kill me, do you?"

After blabbing for a little while in reaction to his latest statement the female had smiled, amused with the situation and fell silent again. She seemed to do that a lot, pausing for a while before continuing. Thinking of her next words as she seemed to be unsure as of how to approach him yet. Another unprofessional act, but Alwin didn't comment upon it, letting the woman do her job. Crossing his arms over his chest the male leant back, checking the girl out as the pen was raising up into the air, sticking out of his hand that was now folded under one arm. "Sounds like an invitation?" he mused, face still stoic, but his voice testing her yet again. How was she to react? The clients she met daily were unpredictable and perhaps there would be one or two between them who had attacked her, but how did his words sway her? Alwin was curious as to her reaction as he kept his eyes focussed on his psychiatrist. Maybe that she had something promising inside of her.