Do you know what several animals and human beings have in common? Emotions, of some description. Granted, some animals appear to have less developed emotions, and the situations which trigger emotional states seem to be rather simplistic. (Ex: Your dog doesn't understand that ripping through your garbage was wrong, just that you disapprove of it for whatever reason.) That, however, doesn't put aside the one thing we
don't generally have in common with animals.
Our startling level of intelligence.
Other animals are intelligent, but we are the indisputable champions of intelligence on this planet by sheer virtue of how incredibly rich and complex our social structures are. By our capacity and ability to express thought patterns that achieve a level of sapience that no other species has achieved. (Our brains
named themselves. Think about that.) We have baser emotions like other animals--we feel anger, or sorrow, or joy--but we have the apparently unique capacity to reflexively recognize emotions as nothing more than evolved reactions to outside stimuli which trigger responses... Except, an emotion
isn't intelligent: It's just a chemical or function in the brain, that compels you to one set of thoughts or another. So an emotion, no matter how powerful, is not particularly capable of combing or understand the nuances of a situation--meaning that emotions can sometimes be
wrong. I shouldn't necessarily respond with extreme anger if someone is perpetuating an irritating behaviour that does me no harm: That's an oddity or quirk of mine, they are not responsible for it.
Take, for example, the fight or flight reflex. It can be triggered by something as simple as a strange noise, or by walking into a dark room while just
thinking about something scary. You can feel the fearful compulsion to run, and it can turn out to be wrong. Someone might propose an idea which you reflexively find disgusting, but later on, come a revelation that you
felt incorrectly.
Therefore, if our emotions overcome our intelligence, that's a moment where we're reverting back to our more animalistic tendencies. That's a failure.
Now that's not to say that emotions are inferior or wrong, or that you shouldn't feel things. Emotions are chemicals in the brain, a series of reactions--that is, they are
largely involuntary. In the same way that when a doctor smacks your knee with a hammer to test your reflexes, emotions too are a reflex-action of the brain. So you can't
not feel them, that's absurd, and punishing yourself for feeling emotions will just fill you with enough self-loathing to sail suicide ocean with.
However, that being said, you
can learn self-control, and discipline, and tolerance. Nobody is perfect, and nobody has complete control over their emotions 24/7--everyone falters, we're only human. That being said, the only person you should ever hold responsible for your emotional state is yourself, save in situations where someone is...
- A. Causing you physical harm.
- B. Intentionally going out of their way to cause you undue mental stress. (Abuse or harassment, generally.)
That being said, you can hold others responsible for how you might feel, but it's on you to deal with it. So you
still benefit from self-control, discipline, and tolerance, and holding these values as highly as you can where it concerns your emotions. Don't pretend they aren't there, but learn how to express them in productive ways, and in certain situations, learn how to momentarily suppress them until you can escape from the situation and vent later.
You cannot control what happens to you, only what you will do about it. That is the way life works. The sooner you accept this, the sooner you can start to build your resistance and iron out your defenses. Because you can't control what things other people will say or do, no matter how annoying or triggering it may be. Therefore, since you cannot control others, learn how to control yourself.
