Loneliness

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Windsong

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Not really sure how to start this out. So I'm rambling to make it look like this first sentence is really important.

I'm a pretty outgoing and pleasant person outside of the web. Have a few good friends here and there, but distance, time, work, money, they all sorta get in the way of keeping those things up. But this is isn't really about real life.

Nah, I'm kinda lonely on Iwaku.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely adore being a part of the community here. It's just with that Public Apology thread where there was mention of me being part of that Migration thing made me kinda pause and think about some things. Everyone was fairly quick to say I wasn't, which was fine by me. I post on General often enough, but that's about it save my RPs. One thing that did seem to bother me, and I stated this in a status already..

I'm a single individual here without really belonging to any group. Been weighing kinda heavy on me as a single user.

Not like an RP group or whatever, I'm in one or two. But a group of friends who talk OOC, laugh about this and that, poke fun at bad RPs, that sort of thing. There are single people I talk to here and there, but the conversations rarely drift out of RP chatter and immediate 'how are you' 'whats up' etc.

This sounds kinda dumb now that it's all written out, but it's whatever.

Edit: That thread really had me wondering when a certain admin mentioned people asking 'why hasn't so-so been banned yet?'. It's probably not my place as just a member to ask, but it's been bothering me if I'm one of those users who people ask why I'm still allowed to be here.
 
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Well I was like that on iwaku for a little bit until I made my first roleplay Rose Witch Covenant. Sure I got a lot of stragglers in that rp, and half the people that joined left. However there was a small few who stayed behind to support me with it, and are now that "group" of friends I associate with. Even now when the rp is pretty much on hiatus theyre still hyped and loyal to the rp. In order to talk to them I created a skype group for all of us and that seem to just solidify our friendships. I actually nicknamed our group the Iwakian Family because that's pretty much what they are to me.

So maybe starting one or two role-plays of your own will help you find your place. If not you can always come hang with my crew, we don't mind at all. Lol
 
DIVE IN TO THE POOL ANYWAY .


Sometimes people are gonna be blabbering about a bunch of shit you have no idea about. And sometimes they won't notice when you log in.

You just log in all the time anyway, lurk, and jump in to conversations! Eventually people get used to seeing your face every day and slowly you find that you're talking to those people outside of the cbox too and forming real relationships!

You jus have to be careful and not fall in to the habits of trolling, snarkies, debating, offensive humor, etc until AFTER people get used to you being around all the time and get to know you. o___o I've seen so many people dig themselves a hole cause they forget you have to BUILD UP to that kind of familiarity in social settings, and then everybody thinks they're a huge asshole.

That's actually true for the forums too. D:
 
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Grumpy said:
Come jabber in the Cbox, dude. That's what its there for.
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The problem with the Cbox is that its generally full of people who already know each other, so its harder to really get to know anyone personally.
 
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Like Grumpy said, just dive into Cbox. Be cool, chill, and try not to be a shit-stirrir. But don't feel like you can't debate or discuss things when or if certain topics come up. Participate!

And, as weird and strangely contradictary as it may seem, talk to folk on Skype. Not like, voice chat or anything, but talk to people from Iwaku, off of Iwaku. Lots of little "groups" or cliques or what have you have their little circles there. There are a lot of groups like that found in Iwaku groups, sure, but you'll find a lot of active Iwakuans off on that them there Skypes too.
 
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I'm always up to chat. Depending on your favorite game that is. I'm very social online. :)
 
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@Vio I've started plenty of RPs, mostly one on one's and a few groups that didn't last too long. More than happy with my current partners in how they challenge me and keep me from falling into a rut. Even the one or two groups I'm in are nice, but people rarely chat outside of the RP.

Diana said:
You jus have to be careful and not fall in to the habits of trolling, snarkies, debating, offensive humor, etc
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I'm fucked.

This goes to that whole 'why haven't I been banned yet' thing.

[spoili]I'm trying to reel it in..[/spoili]
 
Windsong said:
@Vio I've started plenty of RPs, mostly one on one's and a few groups that didn't last too long. More than happy with my current partners in how they challenge me and keep me from falling into a rut. Even the one or two groups I'm in are nice, but people rarely chat outside of the RP.


I'm fucked.

This goes to that whole 'why haven't I been banned yet' thing.

[spoili]I'm trying to reel it in..[/spoili]
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Then I think you should take seijis advice and join the Skype chat for iwaku. Or maybe the Iwaku Roleplay Roast that they have. (Cuz I'm pretty sure you'd enjoy that SO much.)

Like I said you could always come join my crew in Skype. XD
 
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o.o I wouldn't worry about it so much, dude. It's not like anyone's ostracizing you. I'm honestly surprised you feel so left out -- given how often you post in General Discussion.

If you're referring to those Skype groups and things -- I'm not in any of those, either. So uhhh... you're not the only one.

If you just want a group of people to chatter with on the forum... uh, join one of my RP's.

I was half-joking with that statement.

I only brought it up because I tend to use my OOC's as member lounges, letting everyone just chatter about whatever it is they like. It basically turns my RP groups into friend groups.

What I'm trying to say is, start off with the people you RP with, maybe. Just... talk to people and connect with them. I'm sure there's plenty of connecting to do with the people you already talk to if you just, I dunno, PM them or something.

Heck, my inbox is open if you just wanna chatter about... whatever. o3o I'm always up for making new friends. And you seem like a pretty cool person, so, yeah.
 
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Vio said:
Like I said you could always come join my crew in Skype. XD
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SEE?! They have a hidden, secret Skype group that's full of Iwakuans!!
 
If Skype wasn't such a resource hog and if my spouse didn't get super annoyed/jealous when I laugh with people the offer would be gladly accepted.
 
Windsong said:
@Vio I've started plenty of RPs, mostly one on one's and a few groups that didn't last too long. More than happy with my current partners in how they challenge me and keep me from falling into a rut. Even the one or two groups I'm in are nice, but people rarely chat outside of the RP.
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Well chatter goes both ways, silly man. (and maybe a lack habit for OOC-chatter might also contribute on my part). I do try to be approachable.

I hear you about the chat-box, I always stroll into those types of things and then feel like I'm the wall flower and leave after a little. I never give it the time that people here have been advising. Maybe you could give it a try and get back to me perhaps? :bsmile:
 
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I get ya.

It's kind of tough for me as well sometimes since I used to have a big group I talked with 24/7 on another forum, but all of them are gone/banned these days. So going from that environment where I already knew everybody to Iwaku where I had no real pre-established friendships kind of sucked. I just recommend keeping strong.

If I didn't have a lot of people to text IRL, I don't really know what I would do. The chatbox is pretty intimidating, but I might try it since everyone brought it up. I just know it'll never be the same as my old crew.
 
I empathize completely with what you're saying. I'm personally not a very good talker online, simply because a lot of my personality comes out in hand gestures, facial expressions, and all that other extra-verbal communication stuff. Plus chatboxes scare me because I feel like I can't get a word in and everyone thinks I'm some creepy lurker when all I want it some friendship. It also kinda sucks to see these cliques on the internet that just seem to mesh together and have their own inside jokes, and it especially sucks on here because I've joined an RP or two without realizing it was kind of clique-exclusive.

The best advice I can give, personally, is to just hit up the people who have offered their inboxes to you. I'm not very good at starting conversations myself (Small talk is the enemy) but usually when somebody else extends the olive branch it's easier to grasp on to. Also, chat in RP OOCs. Usually it goes nowhere, but it's a start.
 
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I have to say, in a completely figurative and not at all erotic way, I feel you so hard. Sometimes (actually, most of the time) Iwaku feels VERY polarized. Which I guess is inevitable on any type of social platform like this, and lumping people together as 'Migrationers' doesn't help a squat. It kinda boggles me why people wanted to label themselves like that, but to each their own? It's just unfortunate when it affects those who don't identify with it negatively.

I was very lucky in finding a group of friends while playing on the Iwaku Minecraft server, and to be quite honest, I probably wouldn't be here still if I hadn't started to talk to them. Iwaku still feels pretty lonely sometimes because we rarely chat outside of Skype or in-game. I also tried being active in the CBox for a while, but if it weren't for me knowing some regular members through the aforementioned Minecraft server, anything I said would've probably just passed by in the stream of text without anyone really noticing, which it still kind of did. And since I'm in a timezone that greatly differs from the majority of members, it's hard to see threads like "decided to bring this SUPER hilarious topic from the CBOX" because most of the time it's not even possible for me to have participated in those conversations since I was asleep at the time or something like that.

I wouldn't worry about people secretly disliking you, unless you actively parole yourself as part of a polarizing group, or actively participate in polarizing debates and discussions in GenChat.

So, uh, sorry for not actually giving any advice and just piling on my own thoughts... O__O For what it's worth I think you're a pretty cool guy and I would be open to chat in whatever medium.
 
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For me to be able to feel like I fit into a group I have to go out and make connections with every single person in it. Or at least the majority. Then it also requires me to keep in contact 'cause goddamn can I be bad at that. So usually I stick to approaching a select few of people and let my dazzling charms do the rest.

No seriously, I can be who I am and say what I think and for some reason there's people who apparently like me for it. Okay, so I might be overplaying it when I say dazzling charms, but you're not the only person who can take initiative. Often enough, when someone reads or hears something they can relate to, they are drawn to you. Turns out, just by exposing more of you, you attracts more of them, ' cause turns out that empathy, y'know, that thing that defines us as social creatures, actually also occurs in real life. We create connections because we feel or share similarities.

I'm not a person who connects easily. It is quite difficult for me to blend into large groups. I have a very stubbornstrong sense of self, which makes sharing that collective spirit a little tricky. Hell, I'm better at speaking in front of a crowd than discussing a subject within a group. No joke. Yet spewing my stupid opinions at a lot of people somehow causes quite a few to approach me, or express some sort of interest.

So yeah, get yourself out there. Don't worry about befriending everyone at once, just find that one person who you share something with. I mean if 'bronies' can become a thing, I'm sure there's something you like you can use as an icebreaker.
 
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