Only a few minutes after sending off her text, Des found herself almost regretting banishing JP from any further conversation. That meant she now had nothing to occupy her time for the well-over-an-hour that remained until it was time for her to leave. Desperate and uncomfortable with the silence that filled her apartment, Des turned on some music and tried to pick up the book she'd started reading and hadn't touched for well over a week. However, before she made it more than a couple of paragraphs, she found herself skipping one song after another, trying to find anything that didn't grate against her ear drums like sandpaper. Eventually, she gave up on the effort, pausing the music altogether and dropping her head into her hands, squeezing her eyes shut tightly as she desperately wished it could just be time for her to leave.
When she lifted her head again, Des gaped in surprise to realize that the clock had jumped well over an hour forwards, and she had somehow missed JP texting her three more times. She scanned the messages, almost reluctantly, before letting out a sigh of relief. Nothing he said required any response from her. She glanced back at the little numbers at the top of her phone, rubbing her prickly hair uncertainly.
Did I fall asleep?
She shook the matter from her head, instead standing up to grab her keys and wallet, and running through her mental checklist to make sure she wasn't forgetting anything important. Keys, cell phone, wallet, badge, gun, long shirt for concealed carry. She made it out to the car, and settled into the driver's seat, turning on the radio by habit. Somehow, the noise didn't seem as grating now that she was on the move.
She made it to the coffee shop where she and Alvaro had agreed to meet with 5 minutes to spare. Traffic had been entirely tolerable, although Des had also taken a circuitous route to avoid the havoc of downtown traffic. As she pulled into the parking lot she found herself once again dreading the wait that was to come, this time with the added burden of wondering how exactly this meeting between her and Alvaro was going to end. However, as she rounded around to the back of the parking lot, she instantly caught sight of Alvaro's bright orange two-door Fiat, sitting in an empty region of the lot. Taking a deep breath, Des pulled up next to the car, her normally small blue Toyota somehow looking massive next to the Fiat.
Alvaro got out of his car almost in sync with Des, a half smile plastered across his face and his black curls bouncing, until he caught sight of Des over the roof of his car, and his face immediately froze. "Goddammit, Des," he all but spat, something like rage flashing in his eyes. "You've already broken up with me, do you really have to spit in my face like..."
He turned away half a second later, and Des could see him taking a deep breath. It didn't take much for her to imagine him forcibly unclenching his curled up hands, even though the view was currently blocked by the car. She'd seen him do that plenty when they'd been living together. Unconsciously, she reached up to touch the short hair at the back of her neck.
Alvaro will lose his shit... Des couldn't even imagine what he would have said if she'd showed up this morning with over a foot of hair. It was so much easier to pretend she'd just wanted to spite him.
"No, it's fine." Alvaro had turned around to face her again, and while his face was still tight, he'd forced a smile. "It's not like we're dating. You can do whatever you want. Can I... buy you a coffee or something while we're here? Pretend we're splitting on friendly terms?"
Des hesitated for a moment, before eventually nodding. "Let's load up my car first, though," she answered. Somehow, coffee with Alvaro seemed better than returning to her silent apartment, but she still wanted to be able to bail at a moment's notice if necessary.
It didn't take them long to transfer the four heavy cardboard boxes and suitcase of random stuff into Des' car, and after they were done Alvaro led the way into the coffee shop. He held the door for her as she entered, which earned him a small smile, but both people were very careful not to touch each other or stand too close as they moved up into line.
When they got to the counter, Alvaro stepped up, pulling out his card and ordering a Café Doble for himself (more caffeine than Des ever exposed herself to in one shot, despite the long hours she worked), and a Café Cortado for her. She bit her lip somewhat awkwardly as Alvaro took their number and found a table for two near the window. He might be a self-centered ass most of the time, but he did have his moments of incredible consideration as well. The last ex-boyfriend she'd had hadn't been able to remember her coffee preferences even after they'd dated for three months.
Luckily, the coffee came quickly enough that they didn't have to sit around for long in awkward silence after following their typical line of small talk. "How has work been?" "What did you do last weekend?" "When's your next race?" "Have you gotten any new sponsors?"
As soon as the coffee arrived, Des scooped it up and took a large gulp, nearly burning her tongue and getting cream on her nose for good measure. Alvaro couldn't help but laugh as she lowered the cup, and nearly reached out to wipe her nose. He caught his own hand a moment later, redirecting it to snag a napkin and pass it over to her. She took it from him and wiped her nose, somehow feeling like she'd also managed to swallow the awkward tension that seemed to fill the space between them.
Alvaro picked up his coffee as well, taking a much more delicate sip considering his cup was easily twice the size of hers. They sat in silence for another couple of moments, both sipping their drinks, before Des finally sighed, setting her cup back down on the table with slightly more force than she meant to. "Why did you invite me here, Al? And don't give me more of that 'parting on good terms' BS. Why did you really?"
Alvaro flinched, almost looking away before deciding to boldly stare her in the face instead. "It's not BS. I… I don't like you being mad at me, Des. I don't like it one bit."
"And you thought this would, what, help? That we'd somehow sit down for coffee together, and go back to behaving like infatuated teenagers?"
"No! I… I don't know. I miss you, Des."
Des looked away, picking up her cup and clasping it tightly between her fingers. "I… miss you too, sometimes. But we have irreconcilable differences, which you've made more than abundantly clear."
"I've made clear?" For one moment Alvaro looked flabbergasted, until his face suddenly darkened. "Now don't you dare go putting the blame on me. I wanted to try and make it work. You're the one who broke up with me!"
"You know full well why I broke up with you," Des hissed back, struggling not to let the volume of her voice raise. There were other people in the shop, and she had no desire to force them to become unwilling participants in someone else's fight.
"Oh, yeah. I know. You wanted to control my life, that's why."
"I did not!" Des was losing the battle with her own voice, and forced herself to pause, taking another gulp of her coffee to try and help calm herself down. "All I wanted was to know I wouldn't come home to my boyfriend lying in the hospital."
"Oh, yeah. Says the high and mighty police officer who spends her days chasing down violent criminals."
Des abruptly felt her throat go tight, and she set down her cup roughly, nearly spilling her drink. She tucked her hands under the table, trying to hide the shaking of her hands. "Of course, it never would have occurred to you that I asked my boss about procedure for transferring departments the day I realized I spent every hour you were out racing fearing for your safety."
Des couldn't take it anymore, forcing her chair back and standing up in one quick, screeching, movement. She didn't look at him, didn't give herself a chance to see whatever expression might be on Alvaro's face after her words. It didn't matter anymore.
"Des, wait, I…" Alvaro's hand flung out to the side, trying to grab her arm as she went past, but he'd forgotten about the coffee cup on the table. His forearm struck against the coffee cup, sending it spinning towards the edge of the table with a clatter, and causing hot liquid to fly towards Des. She felt herself gasp as the burning liquid struck against her waist, even as Alvaro managed to grab her arm.
It felt to Des that time slowed down as she watched the coffee cup tumble towards the floor. Her eyes were burning, her ears rang, and there was a burning hot pain spreading down her leg. Alvaro clung to her arm even tighter, although it felt more like she was frozen in place, kept from moving by some invisible, familiar force, rather than Alvaro's grip.
It felt like something snapped in her chest, like something invisible was bursting out from within her ribcage, reaching outwards before its nonexistent fingers closed around the coffee cup and ran soothing rivers down her leg. She couldn't blink, she couldn't breathe, she could only stare as the coffee cup moved backwards through space, and the liquid that had stained her shirt and burned her skin flew backwards into its container once again, leaving behind nothing but cool relief on her skin. Half an instant later, less than a blink of time, the cup settled back on the table, and Des suddenly found herself able to move again.
"Oh shit," Alvaro spat out, looking towards the floor and Des' legs. "Are you okay, did it… Huh?" It was only then that Alvaro seemed to notice that the coffee was standing, perfectly normal and safe, on the table. "I thought I…"
Des used his moment of confusion to pull herself out of his grip. "I'm leaving," she said, trying to hide the panic in her voice. "Goodbye, Alvaro." And, with that, she fled out the coffee store before Alvaro had a chance to try and stop her again.
She didn't stop almost running until she reached the car, unlocked it, and seated herself safely in the driver's seat. Only once she had the warm security of her car around her did she finally allow herself to take a breath. That familiar feeling, of trying to move, of wanting to move, to blink, to breathe, to anything but being stuck in place. It felt… exactly like last night. Except now she couldn't get rid of that feeling in her chest, like a massive serpent had curled up around her heart and lungs, waiting and ready to lunge out at the faintest provocation.
She did the only thing she could think of, reaching down and pulling her cell phone out of her pocket, before tipping her hand sideways and allowing it to fall to the seat. Nothing happened. She repeated the process twice more, growing more and more frustrated each time, until she finally grabbed the phone and threw it towards the car window.
With a thump, her chest opened up again, grabbing the cell phone with that tendril of invisible, serpentine air, and gently, almost delicately, pulling it back into her hand. Des gulped.
She didn't realize what she was doing until she'd unlocked her phone, opened her contacts, and tapped JP's number. All the same, she didn't hang up. She needed to talk to someone. Anyone. But there was no one she could trust more than JP.
"Jay…" she whispered when he finally picked up, uncertain, the words suddenly locking in her throat. "I… can we… I need to talk to you. Somewhere private. Can we meet?"