You're evil. Don't look at me like that. I know you've always known. You've always had an inkling that you were just a little bit darker than the rest. You always wondered why your version of "Looking on the bright side!" always involved death and crippling d e s p a i r. Well there's a reason for that. And it all started with your mother. I mean, she's a single mother, but she doesn't work? Where did all of that dough come from? The sky? Oh hon, You naive little idiot. Where's your daddy? What did your mother tell you? Did she say... "He's on a very very very long business trip?" Or did she try to ease the pain by telling you "He died in a fire." Well I have news for you. I' m y o u r d a d d y Oh, don't be like that. After all it's...How does the saying go? Like Father, Like Spawn. Yes. At some point in your miserable existence you'll look like this too. If you make it that is. I have many children, and some of them have made me proud by passing the tests that I gave them and assuming positions as my demonic followers. And then some of them have failed me and I was forced to mutilate and consume them to rid the world of their putrid presence. I do hope you won't become the latter. - - - - The Test The first one is to kill someone close to you and relinquish the human part of yourself. (Aka your soul! What? You didn't really think you'd be able to become a proud citizen of Hell and still keep your soul did you? Christ.) The test doesn't really have any rules except for this one; Do not kill your mother. Satan knocked her up for a reason, so she needs to be kept around. The second one is to find and group up with your brothers and sisters. You will then be approached by Satan's most trusted servant, Mistofeles, who will take you to an underground--No not 'hidden', literally under the surface--fighting ring where you will be pitted against each other. The one who defeats all of their siblings will be ranked as Dragon. The one who was unable to beat anyone or who beat the least amount of siblings will be ranked as Worm. The rest of you will not have any fancy rank names. (This part of the test will be decided by rolling dice. Meaning there will be combat but the effectiveness of the attacks will be decided by whatever amount you rolled.) The third part-- and for all you Worms, this is your only chance for you to redeem your pitiful self (and if you don't well...Your Dear Daddy will be making an appearance.)-- For the third test you must...Successfully kill an Angel. You're all weaklings so Satan doesn't expect you to snuff a big time angel like Michael or Gabriel, but at the same time killing a simple worker Angel wouldn't be very impressive. So instead you'll kill Heaven's beloved; Cupid. A fitting task, as Cupid is the embodiment of love, while you are the embodiment of hatred. Or you should be. The last test is the most difficult. You thought executing Cupid was tough? Try fighting your father. Yes you heard me. You have to fight daddy. Naturally, since he is your father and one of the strongest beings on and out of Earth, killing him is impossible. But injuring him, specifically drawing his blood is...Well...It's possible, but extremely hard. So good luck, you'll need every bit of it. Spawn Ranking 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 - - - - Cora was sitting on her bed, swinging her legs and thinking. She had just met her father in the Teen section of the library. He had appeared as a nearly decrepit old lady with a vicious smile and a hard glint in her eyes. At first Cora had thought the old woman was screwing with her, and she'd kindly told her to drop dead. But then as Cora made to walk away, the woman grabbed her with a fierce grip, spun her around and yanked her up so that she was pressed against her saggy bosom. Cora had shrieked and squirmed against the woman's iron hold and even though her cries of protest were loud, no one came. It was as if the two of them were in a soundproof bubble. The woman had then leaned down and spoken with a smooth male baritone voice that resounded in her soul and shook her to her very core. "You should really learn to respect your elders, dearie." She'd said and the girl had spat in her face. The old woman burst into loud belly shaking laughter and released her so that she fell on her ass. The woman then asked her if she believed her now, and Cora had nodded mutely. The Devil had then told her about her possible destiny and the test. Cora left the library soon after the Devil had departed, and she headed straight home. Now she sat on her bed, just thinking. On one hand she knew there was nothing left for her at home, which was further proved by the fact that her mother and the Brandon's had just left to see a movie without even asking her if she wanted to come. She wouldn't, because she would be ignored the entire time and her step sister would steal her popcorn and candy even though she had her own and claimed she didn't even like M&M's mixed with heavily buttered popcorn. But on the other hand, what if her mother and Charles got divorced? It was highly unlikely because they still acted like newlyweds even though they had gotten married two years ago. But still, what if? She didn't want to leave and then find out that only a few days later her mother had gotten divorce and was alone and missing her! But the Devil had informed her that if she didn't take the test he would never appear to her again, so she would never have this chance. And besides...Cora would see her mother again eventually! She had had sex with the Devil after all, so she would probably be going to hell anyway. And if Cora became a Knight, she could ask the Devil to not torture her mother for eternity and then they could be friends again! It was a perfect plan! Absolutely one hundred percent perfect! Completely flawless--But what if her mother went to Heaven instead? What if she did something so good that God forgave her for shacking up with the Devil and gave her a VIP ticket to the pearly gates? Shit. This was going to be hard.