Like a Moth to a Flame

"...And yet here you are. I fucked you up so badly, but you turned up at my office to face me in person, even though I emotionally destroyed you. That doesn't quite make sense now, does it?" He countered grumpily, his effortlessly relaxed demeanour instantly leaving him at the refusal he hadn't quite anticipated. He expected a refusal, sure, but deep down, he thought the cop would prove him wrong.

"I'm messed up, I get that. I own the mistakes I made. I'm not denying that I... might have committed a few murders," he grumbled, the admission something he hadn't owned before. He had admitted to killing people, but had seen their deaths in some weird light; as though he was doing them a favour. To openly admit they were murdered in cold blood was at least a start. "...So you're completely happy to turn your back on me and forget about me? You're okay never seeing me again? I don't believe you."
 
"... listen, I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me but I just... I-I don't know. I loved you, you know? I... I thought you were my soulmate. I wanted to, like, have a proper relationship, get married at some point... I could have forgiven you if you hadn't hurt Sandra. You can beat me up all you want but Sandra didn't deserve to deal with this. I'm a trained cop, I'm meant to be in traumatic situations all the time, she... isn't." He explained quietly, his calm exposer breaking through his nervous hands and reddening cheeks.

"I'm glad you're seeing someone, at least. You should have known not to do any of that to begin with but... I'm glad you're realizing your problems," he admitted with a small smile. "I guess I'm proud of you, in that sense."
 
"And yet you're not going to stick around and be a supportive figure in my life, hm? I'm not being secretive with my desires, Timothy. I want to be with you. I want you to work here because you were a surprisingly good assistant, and I can't see myself liking anyone else I hire for the role," the man grunted, unable to hide the growing pout from appearing on his face. He wasn't so naive that he expected the cop to jump back into his old job, but he at least expected him to realise the amazing opportunity he was being offered.

"...Are you saying no to my offer, then?" He asked finally, tapping his pen against his papers slowly. "Because I highly recommend you reconsider and accept it. We don't have to date, this isn't what my offer is about. I happen to think you're a good assistant, Timmy."
 
"Im still a cop, they haven't fired me yet," he reminded, his small smile fading. He had heard rumors of him losing his job for bringing embarrassment to the force, while more optimistically they would probably just put him back at doing paperwork. He could sue, hypothetically, but everyone at the station knew he wasn't the type to go out of his way to hurt people more often than not.

"... I'd only reconsider if you raised my paycheck higher than what I get right now," he declared, his eyes now locked on Alexander with determination. "When - and only when - you do that, I'll work for you as your assistant. I'm not going to let you fuck around with me."
 
"How about I triple it?" He countered, resting his chin in his hands as he pressed back into his chair. If he had to pay ludicrous wages just to get Timmy back in the office, he was going to do that. Even if Timmy didn't want to date him, however upsetting it was, Alexander would still gain a good assistant out of it. He didn't want to hire somebody else when Timmy had proven he could handle the job, and do it exceptionally well. Paying good money for a good assistant wasn't a problem... especially when Timmy was someone he cared deeply about. Having him around the office was beneficial in more than one way.

"I'll do that," he confirmed with ease, reaching for his paper to slide across. "Fill in your details. You need to be re-hired, after your abrupt exit from the company. Then we can have lunch. I've ordered in some sushi from that darling little restaurant you loved when we were... dating. Stay for that, at least."
 
Taking the paper with extreme hesitation, he cautiously filled in the usual information. If he was being offered that much money, he could save up and give it to his father, or buy an apartment for Ben. It was greatly beneficial, even if the consequences were high. He wouldn't quit his police job, simply just work fewer hours in the office.

"Why? I thought you hated sushi. In fact, I distinctly remember you being disgusted when I first brought you there. So, either you've had a change in heart or you planned this all in advance," he commented cautiously, hiding the fact that he was both surprised and a little creeped out.
 
"I knew you would turn up, Timmy. As if you could resist. I decided to make the effort to provide you with a lunch you would actually stick around to eat. I enjoy sushi... in small doses. I don't mind forcing expensive sushi down my throat for you. I didn't plan this for days, I sorted it out this morning. It wasn't a big deal, Timothy. I don't think you realise the pull I have in this city. People tend to drop everything to tend to me. I'm not being big-headed, it's just reality-- maybe I'm a little arrogant, but I have a right to be. I worked my ass off to get where I am. If that means I order sushi and demand they get here at midday exactly, so be it," the designer drawled, his eyes rolling at the other's cautiousness. It might be difficult for other people to order food from a restaurant that didn't usually do deliveries, but for him, it wasn't that much trouble... even if he preferred not to call them up himself.

"Relax, will you? We can just have a traditional boss-employee relationship, Timmy. I won't flirt, I won't be doing things to win you over. In fact, I'll go on a date tonight if that'll relax you. I'd rather whisk you off on a date to the opera, of course. The ball's in your court."
 
He would never admit it but there was a small part of Timothy that was irked by the idea of Alexander just going off with someone else. He would admit to Sandra any day that, other than what he did, the designer was the perfect boyfriend. He was treated well, was respected, along with the added bonus of being ravished both in and out of the bedroom. The idea of having the other do that to someone new when he was the one who deserved it caused him to frown.

"... I'm busy tonight," he lied after a moment, holding back his anger. "I do have a life outside of work, I know that's surprising. I have things to do, places to be and whatnot. I'm not in charge of your life, Alex. Go out, find someone new, I don't care. I mean, I don't think dating is for me, evidently."
 
"You're busy. Right. See, that's a shame. I never got to take you to the opera, did I? It's guaranteed to be a fabulous evening, and you do look dashing in my patterned suits, but if you're busy, I won't force you into attending the event with me. I suppose I'm asking too much to expect you to still love me. It's fine, Timothy. I can invite out one of the models. If anything, having him in one of my suits in front of the city's paparazzi will be some good promotion," he shrugged as he beckoned in one of his workers, sitting back contently once the meal had arrived and was set out in front of the two.

"I do think you care, though, or you wouldn't get so angry about me potentially meeting with someone new tonight," he pointed out, propping his feet up on his desk to lounge back. He would never look so casual in front of anyone else bar Timmy. "...I'd take you over any model, Timmy. You can't get angry at me when you're not accepting my invitation."
 
"I'm not angry," he corrected easily before scooting closer to the other's desk, pulling apart the wooden chopsticks skillfully before easily picking up and popping a piece of sushi in his mouth. He was admittedly incredibly hungry, even if he wanted to act like he wasn't. Humming at the taste, he only stopped to look over Alexander.

"I'm completely fine, not an angry bone in my body at the idea of you going with someone. I'm... fine. I dont need anyone to make me happy but clearly you do. Maybe you won't threaten to kill your new arm candy."
 
"...If I threatened you, it was probably a badly executed and misjudged joke. I wouldn't threaten you with the serious intent to harm you, I hope you know that. Can we perhaps stop talking about my past? I don't want to keep bringing it up. You want me to 'get better', don't you? Perhaps you can stop dragging me through my bad judgements?" He suggested slowly, his smile fading at the constant reminder. Given he had escaped serious prison time, and come out with his reputation fully intact, the least he could do was take reminders from Timmy... but he didn't really want to deal with that. He was genuinely trying to get better, and being reminded of his mistakes hardly helped.

"If you haven't got a problem with it, I'll choose a nice model to hug onto my arm all night. It'll get social media talking and that's always good fun. I adore online speculation about who I'm dating, it never fails to amuse me," he laughed as he silently glanced at his laptop at the flurry of emails that arrived. "Seeing as you're my assistant again, you can take this laptop home and sort my emails out for me. I can't be bothered to trawl through them, that's what I'll be paying you to do. Sort out the junk from the important stuff."
 
Shooting a glance to the laptop warily, he let his eyes drift back to Alexander with a wary frown. It was an odd request, in his eyes... but innocent all the same. Forcing his lips into a smile, he took the laptop carefully.

"I guess it's good to know I'm a good assistant, though I don't see what the criteria for that is," he admitted before taking another piece of sushi. "How bad of an assistant do you have to be to be 'bad'?" He questioned, at least trying to keep some level of casualty between them.
 
Before he made some dark joke about how most his previous assistants ended up dead, the man managed to stop himself and give a casual shrug back in response. None of his past assistants had been remotely bad; they just made a mistake that most bosses could overlook, but Alexander ended up killing them for. Cracking a joke about it after his insistence that he wanted to leave that part of him in the past was hypocritical - and even if it wasn't, it was hardly a joke that would go down well.

"They were just terrible. I didn't click with them. I want my assistant to be someone I like working with. It's no point having an assistant work with me who I hate, is it? It'd drive me mad. I suppose it's my fault for hiring them based on their looks. I enjoy beautiful people. It just so happened that the ones I hired were dreadful at their work," he yawned, his eyes trailing out the window to take in the sun breaking through the clouds. "You're cute and you're good at your job-- and I like you. I'm happy to pay you triple what you were on before if it means you stay working for me. It's hard to find assistants like you, Timothy-- and I'm not just saying that to get you on side. I mean that-- look, just clean up my emails for me, that's a good start."
 
"There's nothing on here that I'll regret seeing, right?" He confirmed as he watched the other only for his own eyes to drift towards the skyline. He had seen it hundreds of times now and the magic had worn off, though that didn't mean it wasn't still beautiful. "You haven't been emailing lewd pictures or whatever, right? I don't think I could handle seeing someone's dick right now."

He then looked back at the other with genuine concern. Not only would it piss him off and annoy him, he was genuine in his anxiousness. He wasn't in the mood for sex lately, the whole idea being tarnished by what happened to him.
 
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"I don't do that sort of thing, and I'm appalled that you think I would. I'm not a big fan of sending out those sorts of images, they could be leaked out and I wouldn't want anything to affect my reputation," he huffed, frowning in apparent offence and falling silent for a moment or two. Only when a few seconds passed did he grab the laptop, scanning through the emails just to make sure there wasn't anything on there.

"I know there's not images, but I flirt with some people via email, I don't want you reading anything. They're obviously old, but still, that's private and we're just friends-- we're barely even that, apparently," he commented as he shoved the laptop back across, confident in the knowledge that any email he had missed would only be a few gushing words from someone he had dated in the past. "...I don't do the nudes thing, you should know that. I'd have sent you stuff when we were dating otherwise, and I never did, nor did I ever expect you to. It's not my cup of tea."
 
"Didn't have to, I could see you for myself by just walking into your office if I wanted to," he reminded, the memories of their quick, always exciting afternoon sessions in the office causing his face to grow red. Their relationship was anything but boring and it was one of the reasons he didn't believe he could find someone better.

"I'm glad you haven't found anyone yet. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want you to suffer a bit. I mean, you got off completely free so suffering when it comes rocky your sex life is nice."
 
"I haven't been looking for a few reasons, Timothy. A) I was hoping you'd be back with me, and B) I was busy with the police, trying to charm my way out of possibly getting sentenced for life. I wasn't exactly in the mood to flirt with a nice man and get my sex life back on track," he uttered, though the reminder that he had been suffering with it lately did make him frown. He was confident that he could find a man in little to no time if he really wanted to, but he was still clinging to the hope Timmy would change his mind and date him again. That, however, was looking unlikelier by the second.

"...Maybe I'll end that drought tonight with the nice model I'll take to the opera with me. I'm sure we'll have fun. I'd rather it be you, but if you insist that we're over, I won't be waiting for you like a lovesick idiot. I haven't got time for that, babe."
 
"You won't," he stated simply before snorting. "Sorry but I bet that drought will last quite awhile - and even if that isn't the case, it won't be anything compared to me. I'm a humble person but you and I both know that it's true."

Forcing back a smug look, he stared at the other with a flat express to ensure his seriousness. He was stroking his ego just a tad and he knew that it wasn't what he would usually say to anyone. He wasn't a complete doormat but he tried his best to be respectful - something about Alexander just made him angry though.
 
"You liked to tell me that my arrogance was off-putting, didn't you? How the tables have turned," he sighed as he calmly adjusted his watch. Despite the disappointed sigh and shake of his head, he did very little to counter the other. He could lie and pretend that someone would live up to what they had together, but he was already aware how untrue that would be, and thus how pathetic it would make him look trying to believe it.

"Of course it wouldn't be the same, but I'm not going to deprive myself of a handsome man and a happy relationship if someone enters the picture who I like. You have a reason to be cocky, Timmy, but I'm not going to wait years hoping you'll change your mind. That's ridiculous if you believe that."
 
"I mean, I would love it if that were the case. Call me fucked up but it makes me giddy at the idea of you being desperate to get back with me while I deny it to you," he admitted, letting the smile finally emerge before grabbing another piece of sushi, humming in content.

"Listen. I just... If we were to hypothetically get back together, I wouldn't just jump into it and have you in bed immediately. "I would want to go very slowly. I don't think I'm ready for something yet."
 
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