I
Insomnant
Guest
Original poster
Hiiiiiiii! I'm Pei! Rhymes with 'pay' which can be yours if you come work aboard my spaceship!
The Feline Purrsuasion needs your patronage! And no that's not a new restaurant, it's a state of the art interstellarbombercraft I mean pacifistcraft and wow is it empty right now! I need you to come be on it with me and do stuff!
The Feline Purrsuasion needs your patronage! And no that's not a new restaurant, it's a state of the art interstellar
To any spacecops listening, we only do legitimate worktype things! Totally legal jobs given to us by outright people! And deeefinitely not things like spacepiracy, spacemurder, or flying without seatbelts~ But uh... if you happen to be good at those things- and hate seatbelts- then make sure to come on by!
Space is limited- well not actual space space is infinite but like, room on my ship- so don't delay! Plus I may have to leave this station very soon for... unrelated reasons. So applications will have to be speedy!
I need people who can! (do... some of the following things, not all of them necessarily):
Repair the broken stuff- There's a lot of it
Shoot straight- Firearms and mounted weaponry. For uh... recreational purposes
Be strong!- Because muscles are sexy- er, and there's heavy stuff to lift. And swing
Patch up wounds- Because, I'm clumsy eheheh~
Drive a GroundAssault Peace Vehicle- So we don't miss the... parties?
Be useful some other way- I dunno you're the one who wants the job, you impress me!
And everyone should be able to!:
Deal with cramped living quarters- Seriously I swear to singularity if I let you on my ship and you snore...!
Clean up after yourselves- If you shed, you vacuum! If you ooze, you mop! If you drop leaves, you sweep!
Have an- ehm, ascended outlook on the societal implications of dubiously ethical actions- Y'know... so we can have lofty philosophical debates...?
Provide their own gear- Not because I'm cheap, but because gear is expensive
Be a carbon-based, oxygen-breathing lifeform- Yeah I said it! I'm not catering to your pansy ass methane preferences! ... Feline Purrsuasion is an equal opportunity employer.
What I don't want!:
Last of your race- That's gotta come with a lot of baggage and my ship just doesn't have the storage room for it all~
Artificial entity struggling to come to terms with being sentient as well as synthetic- I already have one and she's enough of a pain, thanks!
Spacecops- Because... you... have so much better things to be doing! Like keeping this big ol' galaxy safe. Super important job. Keep up the... doing that!
Uggos- My crew's gotta be glamorous! Not- better looking than me just, I don't wanna feel bad being seen with you. No offense ugly people it's jus- what do you mean I can't put this in the ad I'm not goi
So stop on by today! Like real soon today. Within the hour actually. You will be paid well and get to see the galaxy and meet interesting people while doing it! 100% respectable businessjob!
Space is limited- well not actual space space is infinite but like, room on my ship- so don't delay! Plus I may have to leave this station very soon for... unrelated reasons. So applications will have to be speedy!
I need people who can! (do... some of the following things, not all of them necessarily):
Repair the broken stuff- There's a lot of it
Shoot straight- Firearms and mounted weaponry. For uh... recreational purposes
Be strong!- Because muscles are sexy- er, and there's heavy stuff to lift. And swing
Patch up wounds- Because, I'm clumsy eheheh~
Drive a Ground
Be useful some other way- I dunno you're the one who wants the job, you impress me!
And everyone should be able to!:
Deal with cramped living quarters- Seriously I swear to singularity if I let you on my ship and you snore...!
Clean up after yourselves- If you shed, you vacuum! If you ooze, you mop! If you drop leaves, you sweep!
Have an- ehm, ascended outlook on the societal implications of dubiously ethical actions- Y'know... so we can have lofty philosophical debates...?
Provide their own gear- Not because I'm cheap, but because gear is expensive
Be a carbon-based, oxygen-breathing lifeform- Yeah I said it! I'm not catering to your pansy ass methane preferences! ... Feline Purrsuasion is an equal opportunity employer.
What I don't want!:
Last of your race- That's gotta come with a lot of baggage and my ship just doesn't have the storage room for it all~
Artificial entity struggling to come to terms with being sentient as well as synthetic- I already have one and she's enough of a pain, thanks!
Spacecops- Because... you... have so much better things to be doing! Like keeping this big ol' galaxy safe. Super important job. Keep up the... doing that!
Uggos- My crew's gotta be glamorous! Not- better looking than me just, I don't wanna feel bad being seen with you. No offense ugly people it's jus- what do you mean I can't put this in the ad I'm not goi
So stop on by today! Like real soon today. Within the hour actually. You will be paid well and get to see the galaxy and meet interesting people while doing it! 100% respectable businessjob!
If you'd like to respond to this job ad, come check out the sign-up thread and throw your hat into the ring! More information found there as well~
