Leaving The RP Scene For A While

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Tayssi, Apr 1, 2016.

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  1. Hi guys,
    So i'm not really a well known person on here any way so this won't really affect many people. But those who do know and talk to me have probably noticed i've been on and off this year rather irregularly. At first, it was just because I was attempting to bring my muse back, so I just didn't come on often until it hit me. And then a little over a month ago I think it was, I was helping my brother through some personal stuff. Which, we ended up working out together and things are cool in that regard now.
    However, a few days after I had planned to come back - the muse had me in its grasp and I was feeling relatively decent despite my own personal mess my head has been in this year. But.. Then I found out my Grandfather has cancer through his whole body. It still doesn't feel real. And perhaps it has to do with the fact that I am refusing to truly acknowledge it in my heart. But I know it's real. And it's devastating to know you can't do anything. The hospital can't do anything as he is too old so they couldn't operate to cut it out. It had just started out as Rectal Cancer. He went in for radiation and we had been told a week before we were told the devastating news that he was in the safe zone, now, that it was gone. Only to be told a week later it's spread. A lot.
    It's one thing to have been on guard for his passing since I was around 8 because he had Parkinson's and Alzheimer's and growing up watching him have a multitude of collapses and a few strokes. I grew up with it. He was still my Pop. I could deal with it as well as I could like I always did. Fast forward 12 years and I get told that he now has cancer? Life just isn't fair to those who don't deserve the cruelty of the world. Life can be cruel. What else must the poor man go through before he's gone?

    I have always been close to him. I have one set of grandparents I adore and another pair I despise. And though I would never wish what my Pop has gone and going through, I don't know why it has to be him that has to go through it. And I suppose that everyone with a family member or themselves who are going through this think the exact same thing, but you just can't help that kind of thinking, can you? It's hard. It's soul crushing, really. To know that a person you are so close to is going to be taken from you, not in peace, but painfully. He's too old to have Chemo. Too old for an operation. Radiation was the only hope and it didn't work. So that's that. I guess now I just need to spend as much time with him as I can without breaking down in front of him.
    That's the last thing people going through this would want, right? I've always been told a dying person wants to know you won't be sad. That you'll continue with your life just fine without them?

    Which brings me to now. The present. I am afraid that I will have to leave Iwaku for a while. I want to spend time with him and not stress about coming onto here and replying to RPs. I want to be there for my family. I don't know how long i'll be inactive in the RP department. But I will most definitely still be here. I am most certainly up for talking to people. It'll be good to take my mind off things from time to time with just a simple chat about everything and nothing.

    So I suppose, now that I have gone off on a tangent and poured out my feelings, I will leave this here so people know what's going on.

    I love all you guys and thank you so much <3
    Remember! You're more than welcome to pm just to chat, but I just won't be RPing
     
    #1 Tayssi, Apr 1, 2016
    Last edited: Apr 1, 2016
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