Learning to Love (Tinder and Saren)

[Tinder]

Her eyes shone as she turned to face Sephanir, wringing a towel in her hands. "I know it won't be easy, but I promise to work hard! I tried for years to learn listening to my sister's lessons—we could only afford for one of us to learn—and I only could only hear so much from the kitchen where I usually was, but she tried to teach me some. I can pick out a few letters and put together the ones that spell my name. Joanne always said my handwriting was terrible, but I know I could make it better if I practiced and I could learn how to write others too—"

"I'm sorry!" She cut herself off, tapping her cheeks with her hands. "I know you're a busy man. I promise I won't ask for too much of your time. I'm happy whatever you can spare between your duties."

Taking care of the castle and his meals would continue to take up much of her days, but knowing that she would have the chance to learn as well made all the work seem like a mere inconvenience. It would benefit her work. She could sort through the books or she could read them and learn about places like the ones that Telasorin had told her about. How amazing would that be?

She picked up her knife again, chopping the remaining potatoes quickly. "I could use writing and reading to make myself more useful for you as well. You have so many things in those abandoned rooms and hundreds of books. If I knew how to write, I might be able to make you a list of all of them so you could find them again if you ever needed to." She scooped up a pile of potatoes and took them over to the boiling water. It was smaller now that only two of them needed to eat. She sprinkled in salt and some of the pepper that Telasorin had suggested along with a few cloves.

"I always wanted to learn letters. It seemed like such an amazing skill to be able to communicate with someone without ever speaking or meeting them. But I never thought it would be possible. Tutors are so expensive this far away from the bigger cities. A skill like that can be useful, but my family had difficulties keeping food on the table. It would have been too much money to spend on me. My father isn't about to go out of business as the only smithy in town, but there's not enough people to do better than getting by. Or maybe he doesn't know how to do better. I bet I could find a way if I knew how to read and write. I could go to the far off cities and learn what the successful smithies do." She blinked and then laughed at herself. "But those are old dreams; traveling and all that nonsense. Just something I used to think about to fill up idle hours."

She wouldn't have a home after her tenure with the Wizard. Not in her hometown. People would call her cursed or worse. She knew better now, but the people from the village still feared Sephanir. Maybe she could find a way to get a little money before she had to leave. Then she could travel somewhere better.

 

[Saren]

Sephanir wasn't expecting the sudden enthusiasm, but he didn't turn away or stop her. She was so happy, and it wasn't an expression he was used to seeing on her... or anyone for that matter. It was surprising, then, that he felt a pang of loneliness. None of that was Cisa's fault, however, and as she kept on going, he found the pain waning. He hadn't expected to feel such a thing, but being in this castle on his own for so long had ruined his emotions.

Still, he couldn't let his souring mood affect Cisa's excited stance, so he turned to finish chopping as she chattered along. A smile crept onto his face, and though it was small, it was more than Cisa got most days. She swiped the potatoes from him, and he set the knife down, leaning his hip against the counter as she started stirring the pot. There was so much more to her story than he'd asked for, but now wasn't the time to stop her. The more he thought about it, the more Sephanir realized he didn't know very much about Cisa. He knew that she was selfless enough to rescue Joanne from his rage, and she knew blacksmithing. But she had spoken little of her family — probably because he hadn't given her much of a chance to speak on the matter to begin with.

He bit his tongue to hold back a sigh, but the exasperated thought was only aimed at himself. He had been selfish and had decided to close himself off from her rather than try to get to know the only other person who would permanently stay in the castle besides Scalesworth. So, all he did was watch her as she talked about her village and her previous life as well as how she could be useful to him.

All of her words together shouldn't have made him laugh, but after she was done, a small chuckle escaped him. "Well, I'm glad I can be helpful. Though... you are plenty useful to me already, so you do not have to worry about those books. Not yet anyway. Perhaps that's something we can do together," he instead offered. "Besides, I am sure there are plenty of books in there centered around subjects you might enjoy. I want you to read for yourself, not because you'd like to index them. Though, I suppose if that's what would bring you joy, I cannot really stop you." Another smile cracked his expression, and it was the first time that Cisa would see him not so stoic and uptight.

"I can take the time to teach you. It is the least I can do. My work is important but not urgent." He glanced over her head at the pot, smelling the sharp fragrances coming from the cloves and pepper. It seemed Telasorin had taught her a thing or two beyond gossiping her ear off and flirting with her.

Is everyone more useful than they initially let on? No... Telasorin is still a fool... but a fool with good taste, he thought begrudgingly. However, the only thing he said was, "Smells wonderful. I am glad Telasorin could help you in here... perhaps you'll be a better cook than him in just a few weeks."

 

[Tinder]

"I had to let him help so that he wouldn't complain about what I was making. He's a picky man and he plays with his food like a child, but he doesn't know his way around a kitchen." She chuckled. "I hope to learn how to make my own recipes so that I don't spend the rest of my days copying him, but this will be good enough for now." It became tiring copying something else all day long.

She collected a few stalks of celery and some mushrooms to begin chopping next, pausing to consider before she took out a two tomatoes and then added a cup of dried beans to the boiling soup. Now came the difficult part of knowing when to add the more delicate vegetables. She grinned as she returned to where Sephanir stood. "And it goes give me joy bringing order to some of this chaos. I'll never understand how a man as important as you can live without any organization in your life. Having all your rooms covered in dust and your things tossed about willy-nilly must make your life more difficult. It's a wonder your head hasn't come off," she teased, though the joke seemed to catch up with her a moment after. She gave him a suspicious, sideways glance. "Then again I wouldn't be surprised if you Wizards had magic for that. Peculiar folks, the lot of you."

Just saying something so blunt to a Wizard's face made her feel like she had come a long way from the girl who threw herself at the mercy of one not so long ago. Since meeting three of them now, she had come to realize they were people. Intimidating people in the case of Sephanir, but people nonetheless who made mistakes and had their flaws. That Sephanir had come to apologize to her proved that.

She began slicing the mushrooms next, her thoughts wandering to those rooms. "Why do you have so many rooms? Did the Dark Wizard who came before you keep a staff or have a family? It seems a waste to have a home so large for only yourself."

Before she might have laughed off such an idea, but now she had to wonder. Did Wizards takes wives or husbands? She had never heard of such a thing, but perhaps they only married among their own kind.

 

[Saren]

Sephanir hadn't made such involved meals in years; Malkore had always been the one to cook and had never bothered to teach his apprentice such a basic skill. Bland soup, charred meat, and stale bread had been his meals, so to have Cisa toss in all sorts of vegetables and spices almost made his stomach ache. There was something like excitement building in him, though he wasn't sure he should have been raring to eat so badly. I suppose that's the magic of good food, he thought, golden gaze following Cisa's hands as she dumped the beans into the pot.

The Dark Wizard surprised even himself by not having an immediate answer to her statement. She hadn't actually asked him anything about his work, but he felt the need to retort anyway. "It is... organized chaos," he said, though his tone was slightly sheepish. He knew where everything was in his own room, but the same could not be said for the rest of the castle. He had kept track of all the magic around the entire place, but he had long abandoned the rooms that only held a few things. He had never bothered to actually keep track of anything that didn't have an immediate use. On top of that, he hadn't had to dig around for items in years, because he had collected everything he could ever need for his book long before Malkore had passed. Even then, with just the two of them living there, Sephanir couldn't remember a time the castle had been truly clean.

His vision had unfocused, though he had appeared to still watch Cisa now cut up the mushrooms for the stew. "I... well, I suppose I do not know anything of Malkore's family or if he even had one. The castle was his old master's home, and it was her master's home before as well. Malkore's master, Quiyen, had several children, and when they had children of their own, a few of them had lingered here. Quiyen took Malkore when he was barely a year old, so he grew up around those grandchildren. But...."

Sephanir trailed off for a moment, shifting so his back was leaning against the counter now. He crossed his arms over his chest, looking down at the ground as he reminisced on what Malkore had told him.

"From what I understood, Malkore was never fond of those children. Sort of the," he waved one hand in a circle, "black sheep of the family, as it were. When Quiyen passed, she gave her family all her money, but she gave this place to Malkore. I think she had hoped he might be inspired to do as she had done and fill the space with his own kin, but he never did. And... now it's mine, and I don't know what to do with it."

He let out a sigh before he turned his head to look at Cisa once more, but there was only a small half-smile on his face. "I apologize. I am sure that's more than what you were asking for. Do you need any more help?" he asked, gesturing toward the pot.

 

[Tinder]

Cisa laughed at the excuses. Typical man saying that the mess was all intentional. She remembered her father saying something similar and losing his mind when she tried to organize the chaos of his forge. Her stepmother had made quick work of that tantrum.

His next comment fascinated her. She had no idea Wizards could have families. It made her wonder again how different the other Wizards were away from their valley or how different they had been in the past. Some believed the Dark Wizard had lived for millennia, yet here she sat with Sephanir hearing about two other Dark Wizards. She wondered when they had died and how no one had noticed the Dark Wizard not always being the same person.

She had never known how backwards her village was until she glimpsed the world beyond it. Perhaps it had not always been so. If these Wizards lived a very long life and if Sephanir's master had been a recluse and Sephanir continued the tradition that could be why the rift had formed between them and the surrounding community.

Though she felt bad for this master. He sounded like he had a sad life. He had been given a family and then been rejected by them. Cisa knew how badly that felt. Though she loved her family, she felt more like an inconvenience than an actual daughter many days.

Yet Sephanir had never experienced any of that and now he had a big empty house with hardly any friends to break the silence. No wonder he had been so cross when she and Joanne intruded. Someone who had been alone for so long would be overwhelmed by such a terrible disturbance.

She smiled when he looked back. "I don't mind. It's good to learn about. No one knows much about Wizards in the village. I never knew that Wizards could have kin." She blushed. "There's many silly stories spread about magic in the village. Some of it may be true, but not all of it."

Once the last of the veggies had gone into the pot, she put the lid on it. "Now we need to wait for it shimmer. So..." She wiped her hands off, trying not to bounce. "Can we start with reading? If you have time. There's no rush. I just thought we could waste some time."

It was impossible to keep the gleam out of her eyes. She wanted to know how to do all of this now or as soon as possible at the very least.

 

[Saren]

Stories about... us? Sephanir thought to himself. Cromdali had mentioned that she worked with plenty of non-magical beings, and Telasorin might as well have been a non-magical person for all the time he spent around them. But even with all that time around them, both Wizards had never told Sephanir of any strange — silly, if he was to believe Cisa — stories. And he felt a twinge of sadness in the back of his mind, a feeling that didn't immediately go away. Of course, logically he understood that his reclusiveness had a part to play in this, but he still wanted to know what these so-called stories said about him.

But before he could ask, Cisa tossed the rest of the vegetables into the pot, placed the lid on top, and burst out a question about reading. He couldn't help but smile as he saw the expression on her face. He had never seen someone so excited before. Malkore had rarely given him any sort of visual feedback that wasn't a disdainful frown, and it was something Sephanir himself had adopted throughout his years.

But no longer. For the first time in many years, someone who wasn't a fellow Wizard had brought something like contentment back into his life. He couldn't recall the last time he had smiled so openly. It was odd, but he wasn't afraid of the feeling, even though he thought he should have been. Cisa wasn't a stranger anymore; in fact, he might have considered her a friend, if he knew how to articulate that.

Regardless, seeing her happy made him happy, but he faltered as he thought hard about his book collection. "I... well, your eagerness is quite infectious, but I'll have to look. You wait here. It wouldn't do us any good to have our food boil over on us," he said, pushing himself off the counter and placing his hand on the wall next to the stove. Shadows twisted out from his fingertips before a dark portal sprang up, offering a glimpse of his deserted library. He slipped through, the darkness rippling as he disappeared. The room fell silent at his departure, only the flames flickering underneath the pot of stew.

A few moments later, Sephanir emerged, holding a small stack of books. However, he said nothing as he set them down on the table, because he immediately slid his fingers down the wall next to the portal to switch its exit into his room. He was gone for another few minutes before coming back out, this time carrying a stack of papers, three quills, and a large inkwell.

As he laid everything out on the table, being mindful to leave space for them to eat, he explained, "The more I realized what I had promised you, the more I thought about the actual material I own. Much of it is magic-related, which is not helpful, and the rest of it is... well, advanced, to put it simply. I don't have any books that are, um, helpful for novices. Malkore believed in fast learning, but I don't. So... I'm going to write some things for you. I've never taught anyone anything, so it seems like we're both going to have many lessons in patience." He gave Cisa a small half-smile before he sat down at the table, dipping an auburn feather quill into the inkwell and pressing it to the paper. His hand flowed across the paper, making a line of letters in alphabetical order. When he was done, he picked up a blank sheet and began to write longer sentences and sounds. His dark hair wavered in his face as he moved along with his writing, but it didn't seem to bother him in the slightest.

 

[Tinder]

Excitement had Cisa incapable of keeping still as Sephanir disappeared through the portal. Though she knew it would take much more than picking up a book to learn, she wanted to begin building now so that she could practice her new skills during her free time. After cleaning out so many rooms of the castle, she knew that she would have more and more time to herself as the days went by.

She perked up the moment he returned with the stack of books only to watch him disappear into a second portal. Where else could he be going? She hardly had time to guess before he returned with papers, quills and ink. Her eyes widened again. Oh goodness. She had never thought to ask to learn about writing. Perhaps the two were so connected that one couldn't be learned without the other. She had absolutely no objections to learning more useful skills. Writing would allow her communicate with other in addition to learning more from the books. Maybe she could even write a letter back to Cromdali to thank her for the dress which had led to this sudden opportunity. It would be good to write another to Telasorin to apologize for all of the fuss he had gotten mixed up in. He had been so sweet about it.

Seeing Sephanir sit back down by the table, she wandered closer to watch as he wrote out the sentences. His hand moved to swiftly and elegantly like a dance on paper as he wrote out the many words and symbols she had longed to understand. No magic could be as amazing as this display because she would never be able to do magic. But this…she hoped someday she could do this.

"I've waited for this opportunity for year, I can wait a little longer." She glanced at his face. "I…I know the letters of my name. Well, my nickname." She blushed. "I'm not very good at writing them, but I can pick them out when I look at writing and I can make the shapes. Sort of. I used to practice with the leftover bits of charcoal that were too small for my sister to write with. I wanted to get good at what little I knew."

Joanne had shown her the shapes after she learned them, though the younger woman wasn't much of a teacher. She had very little patience when it came to explaining things.

Cisa watched him continue to write, lost in the magic of the moment. It was different watching Sephanir write here in the kitchen; nothing like when she had seen him standing in the dark with his book. That tension that always seemed to be present had faded from the room. He almost looked relaxed. It felt like the first time since their argument that they were both fully present in the room. "Did you learn to read before or after you came to live here with your master?"

 

[Saren]

Sephanir paused for just a moment as he thought about her name. It hadn't occurred to him that she would know her full name — it was easy for him to forget that she had a full name — but it would be a good starting point. It was a simple name phonetically, and the letters would be easy for her to write well. As she explained how she knew, he felt a pang of sadness wash over him. He had always thought his learning years had been hard, but to have no material or teacher? It seemed next to impossible to learn like that. The fact that she'd even gotten just a few letters down was impressive, but with the right tools, she could soar past that point in no time.

He started to pick up his writing again until she asked him about his own time learning. This time, he set the quill in the inkwell, leaning his elbows on the table and lacing his fingers together. He rested his chin on his hands, finally noticing the stray hairs floating in front of his face. With a quick breath, he blew them out of the way, making his blind eye visible for a few seconds before the strands fell back into their natural place. "I was… a little like you. I knew how to read some things, but not really enough to write it out and communicate with it. I was quite young, as far as I can remember. Years sort of blend together when you're alone for a while," he said with a bit of a wry smile.

"Malkore wanted me to work in magic as soon as I could, but in order to control this dark power we possessed, I first had to understand it, which meant reading all those books in there." He gestured toward the open portal to the library, which still gave off a few glimpses of the room on the other side. "I spent much of my time studying, eating, sleeping, and… repeating. I hardly went outside, and if I did, it was just to bring in more supplies. Malkore valued knowledge over everything, and so, I started to believe the same. It was only when Cromdali, Telasorin, and Pyrisilka came by to visit every once in a while that I even made attempts to understand that contact with others was necessary. And now, well, you're living in my home, which I suppose is a testament to… some sort of growth," he finished with a chuckle.

"Once again, I believe that was a much longer answer than you were looking for, and I think I've cut into lunchtime and study time." He pulled the quill out again, tapping the tip to shake off the excess ink. The familiar scratching of the quill on paper started up again, but he paused once again to stack some papers and make a pile, as he had quickly taken up all the usable space on the table out of habit. Once he was sucked into his books and his papers, it was simple to forget that Cisa existed, as he was just used to being on his own. The table was no longer just his; it was something they would have to share, especially if he was going to teach her.

"By the way, I will not force you to spend hours reading," he said without looking up. "I find that method… ineffective, and you're eager, so I don't want to lose that. The quickest way to failure is to become discouraged and give up, and I want you to be.... happy while you're learning. A-and after learning, of course." Sephanir wasn't sure where his last statement had come from in his mind; Cisa had seen firsthand how closed off he could be about his feelings. It was strange to admit even something so small, but it only made him write faster so he could forget the flare of burning embarrassment that was now threatening to take over.

 

[Tinder]

Cisa listened attentively, almost gasping when she heard Sephanir say that he had come from a poorly educated background like her own. Wizards could be born poor? She hadn't heard anyone refer to a Wizard as anything less than fantastical and so she had assumed that meant all of them came from similarly impressive backgrounds. To envision a young Sephanir in humble rags not unlike her own family seemed impossible.

Yet his story took another impossible turn when he told her about the grueling regiment that his master had set before him. Not only had he been tasked to learn something so difficult a young age, but he had done so with complicated tomes as she had seen him reading? It must have taken years of painful struggling to grasp so much as a sentence. That was…incredible. Though she maintained that magic seemed to be a big fuss to do something that could be easily replicated through more ordinary means, she would never take away an achieve such as that from someone. Compared to his beginnings, what he wrote down for her must have been like smithing a nail rather than a sword. Part of her wanted to rise up to his unspoken—and advised against—challenge. Could she ever hope to understand a tome about magic?

Though that sad something she had noticed in him returned as he spoke about his childhood. She doubted anyone at home would believe her if she told them that she believed the Dark Wizard was lonely. They saw him as a monster. She had thought the same when she first arrived and he threatened to kill Joanne, but now she saw a different man. He had emotions and a heart like anyone else.

Which made it all the sweeter to hear his words stumble as he tried to correct a misworded kindness. She dared to think it was something a friend might say to another. It was an odd conclusion to draw considering all of the mess that had led up to this moment stemmed from her assuming they were strictly master and servant. She had never meant to say anything because she hadn't wanted him to think any less of her. Not to mention, he hadn't made much of an attempt to be approachable before now. So much had changed in just an afternoon.

She smiled. "I think I'll be happy to read as much as I can." She walked back over to the stew and stirred it. It would be ready soon enough, so she took out two bowls and cut slices of bread from that morning to accompany their stew. "Any excessive reading that happens will be my own choice. I promise."

With that done, she bounded back over to the table. "We have time for some of the first bits, I think. Can you tell me something before we eat?"