Klutzy's Writing Challenge #2: Damaged home

[Klutzy Ninja Kitty]

You awaken one morning. You get out of bed and walk into the living room of your home to discover a car had crashed into the side of your house the previous night--but for some reason this crash did not wake you up. Why did this happen? Who did this? What was damaged as a result of the crash?

You may write this challenge in as many or few words as you feel nessisary, however, the condition is that you must write this scene in a comical manner--meaning either some of this scene or most of it should be funny in some way.

 

[Mighty Roman]

Joseph was surprised that the crash hadnt woken him up. Indeed, the Ford Fiesta had torn through his living room wall, and currently smashed through his bedroom as if it were made of paper.
Which was strange really, considering that he lived 6 storeys up in a block of flats.

Indeed, he found it even stranger that it was a car that had wrecked his living room and bedroom. Usually it was a Steam train, or his drunken next door neighbour. But then again, both of those would probably cause more damage, in their own special ways.

That Said, he had a good idea about who drove the car into his house. He took a note that had been left inside the windshield.

'You always said I was good in the bedroom.'-Marissa

Yep, today was a great day to start his divorce proceedings. That said, if his soon to be ex-wife happened to find a Sabertooth Tiger in her bathtub, she only had herself to blame.

 

[Minerva]

Aaron woke up. He looked to his side to see...

A car had crashed through his room, which was strange, because Aaron lived on the second floor on the opposite side of the house from the road. Something else odd was that the car hadn't driven through the wall, it seemed as if it had dropped from above. Do cars usually crash through roofs? Only in Action movies, and even then, they've been driving on nearby buildings or something.

Aaron shrugged it off, and went into the kitchen. His parents were talking to several FAA Investigators. Apparently the car had fallen from a Cargo Plane last night. They were going to have the family leave temporarily so that an official investigation could be done. Aaron was being kicked out of his house because some pilot opened a cargo door on his airplane. Great.

He sighed, and went to pour himself some Frosted Flakes.

 

[LuckycoolHawk9]

Martin looked at the crashed car in his living room. How had that gotten there? He wondered who was drunk enough to drive into the house. Despite being sensitive to loud noises, Martin was deaf, so very few things woke him up. It also didn't help that he was located on the second floor of their house and had blocked the only pathway upstairs. Martin read the detective's lips on how somebody had been in a drunk driving accident and how they were going to have to leave since there was a dead body on the scene. Martin simply shrugged it off.... until he remembered he had fallen asleep reading a Hallmark movie last night. As he looked over at the couch, he realized he was the corpse. Even if he had been hearing, he wouldn't have known fast enough to make it out alive.

Well, that was his new life. Deaf, dead and haunting his old house. All and all, not too bad.

 

[PoetLore]

Bob and Betty had been playing a rousing game of french maid and sleazy detective last night and were feeling pretty randy while doing so. there was an odd shaking and she was so into their activities that she attributed it to the earth moving for the first time in years in that way.

They woke up the next morning and she was almost purring like a kitten at her husband. She stretched and sat on the bed and grabbed the covers and pulled them around her. "I think the heater is broke Bob..it's freezing in here!

Bob too was feeling a bit languid this morning, pleased with his efforts and manliness of the previous night. Betty's words had him frowning though, "It's probably just the pilot light..I'll take care of it you stay here under the covers...I'll warm you up when I get back." he said wiggling his brows and placing a loud wet kiss to her lips.

Betty just grinned and giggled a bit as he pulled on some pants and slid his feet into his slippers and headed out the door. He rubbed a hand through his rumpled hair and reached into the closet for a flashlight when he felt a gust of air pull the closet door out of his hand. He looked over and blinked, "What the Sam Hill..." he crossed the room and tapped the flashlight on the hood of the car, "Say...you ok in there?" he asked the unconscious man flopped over in the driver's seat. "Hmm..doesn't look like it....HEY BETTY!!! call 911..."

Betty blinked, "What? Why? Did you forget to close the shield again?" she asked coming out of their room pulling her bathrobe around her. She stopped short seeing the car, "Told you it was cold in here."

Bob nodded, "Yup..call 911...I don't think this here fella is doing so good."

Betty nodded and grabbed the phone off the wall and dialed. hearing the operator she nodded, "Yeah yeah honey listen there's a car in my living room and the driver seems...well I don't know. maybe send an ambulance?" She gave their address and other information and then they waited. Sirens began blaring and Betty blinked, "Good heavens I am in my bathrobe!" She darted for the bedroom and dressed as quickly as she could so as not to miss anything.

Bob let the EMT unit into the house, though they could have just as easily come in through the wall he supposed. "He don't look so good."

The EMTs and the fire department got the man out of the car and though he was alive, he was indeed in pretty bad shape. They strapped him into the ambulance cot and whisked him away to the hospital. Bob looked at the firemen. "So..um...what do I do with this car?"

 

[Doctor Jax]

"Oh my gooood, oh my goood," Cam groaned, rocking back and forth on his couch.

Out of place and certainly unwelcome was a Cadillac Escalade, protruding from the side of his living room. Funnily enough, he was fairly certain he knew when it had happened, considering the fact that he hadn't seen the inside of his living room for well over twenty four hours. The occupants, of course, had fled the scene, whilst he slept off his massive bender. It was noon by now - and he wondered if it was too late to call the police.

But if he called the police, he had to explain why he hadn't woken up. That meant explaining the llama. That meant explaining the five bags of coke in his room. That meant figuring out how to hide the security footage of him climbing through his bedroom window with both.

Fat chance. He took a deep breath and looked at the license plate. No, there was another way around this. License plates meant a paper trail, and a paper trail meant he could find the idiot who did this to him. And he could deal with the police instead.