Kindergarten Cop 2....

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... with Dolph Lundgren.







....... Dolph Lundgren.







rockyiv-drago-ifightforme.png
<---- This guy




What the fuck, Hollywood?

>_o
 
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Oh jeezus, when you said this to me earlier, I heard Kindergarten Cop 2 with dolphins.


I miss that time, let's go back to it.
 
Dolphin Lundgren, you say?

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Aww yir. I want that teaching my kids. Right now.
 
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He can teach those kids to purposefully lead whales to shallow water to beach them. And how to swallow a whole fish without chewing.
 
Poor Mark Whaleberg won't stand a chance.


Also - he can teach them how to have sex just for pleasure.
 
Not kids.


They get really uppity when you suggest it.
 
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I thought maybe they were going to make one with a younger actor who is the adopted son of Arnold and what's her face. And the son is a cop with a family and someone is targeting him and they have a connection to whatever bullshit the previous antagonist from the first movie was into. And the cop goes under cover as a P.E. teacher and takes the team to state and the focus becomes about the team coming together to overcome adversity, but then the bad guy comes in and he has a team of evil bad ass tactical dudes who are Russian or equivalent. Or Mexican-like, honestly doesn't matter. Then the cop gets his service pistol he keeps under his desk in his office inside the locker room, then he kills a vast majority of the bad guys and has only the second-in-command mini boss to fight. The fight is long and he barely wins because his dad taught him some extra fighting moves when he was younger, which becomes awesomely relevant and he uses it as a finishing move. But then the head honcho pulls out a revolver of some large caliber and precedes to monologue about how evil always wins because good is dumb (The subtlest nod to the audience happens just then.). And then AHNULD COMES FROM BEHIND AND SHOOTS HIM USING THE SAME GUN FROM THE FIRST MOVIE AND ONE-LINERS SOMETHING SO CLEVER YOU PEE A LITTLE.






But instead I got this crap and now I'm upset.
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Maybe it's a He-Man crossover.

Skeletor wants the children for his... moisturizer.
 
That's not canon!
 
I really enjoyed the first movie! So this one is either going to be REALLY REALLY BAD. Or really good.
 
This doesn't sound fun at all. ;___;
 
Surprise twist: it IS a tumor!
 
WHO CARES ABOUT IVAN DRAGO WITH A GUN YELLING AT BABIES?!?!


THEY'RE REMAKING JUMANJI, YOU GUYS! WHAT THE FUCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK


























Also this
 
WHO CARES ABOUT IVAN DRAGO WITH A GUN YELLING AT BABIES?!?!


THEY'RE REMAKING JUMANJI, YOU GUYS! WHAT THE FUCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK
Please tell me this is a joke.....
 
Jumanji 2 - starring Chuck Norris.

You just lost the game.
 
The guy has a black belt and a PHD. Those kids are in good hands.
 
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