So. Something that has happened to me a lot lately, and I'm sure some of you, is RP partners disappearing on you without a word. Sure, I realize that life can get shitty and you leave without being able to give warning. I get that, I really do. But when it happens over and over and over, I start to wonder if it's something about me that chases them away. You go through the brainstorming process with them, you come up with an idea you're really into, you make the thread or PM, and poof, they're gone. And what's worse is when you get a few posts or pages in, and then they disappear, leaving that wonderful story in a state of limbo. And it's even worse when you PM said player because you have seen them online, and then they look at your PM and never message you back. And I know that they have seen my message, because it says to in the PM, it says the last time they viewed the conversation. Even worse than that is when you see them actively posting in other threads. That really makes me wonder if it's me. Now, I realize I probably shouldn't take this personally. But the thing is, I am a very socially-oriented person. I like to talk and make freinds. I am sensitive and quite empathetic, and I worry too much about other's opinions of me. Taking into account my Autism Spectrum Disorder and horrible past at school, I really start to hurt when people disappear on me like that. Was it something I did? Are you just done with the RP? Did I mess Up? Can I make it better? Can I fix it? It always hurts when those questions aren't answered because I start to beat myself up over it. I blame myself for them leaving and ignoring me, which makes me evermore desperate to find and keep new RP freinds. And when I start to hurt too much, from any reason, I start to question my value as a living being. I start to fall again into my dark areas. "I'm pathetic. I'm fucking worthless. I have no reason to live." Those are the things that start running through my head when I get down that deep, and it is always very hard to drag myself up from those depths. Stuff like this has been happening to me for a while now, and it's really starting to bother me. I love roleplaying, and the partners who stay with me, I love them as close freinds. But every time Someone seems to just blow me off, I hurt. And I'm starting to hurt so much I am scared to try and find new roleplays for fear that it will happen again. So, if any of you guys could help me, give me some words, anything, I would appreciate it. I just don't know what to do, or how to not care.