Just let it out.

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Chrona, Dec 7, 2011.

  1. There seems to be a lot of depressed people here on Iwaku. That or it's just a minority. I'm included in this... There are so many things that are making me depressed. A few reasons have been haunting me for years on end now. I'm willing to talk about them with those that actually care.

    You see, I've NEVER thought about killing myself. But those thoughts have been creeping into my mind and I know I need to get them out of there...
    One reason I'm depressed is that I lost the love of my life forever and there isn't anything I can do about it. She isn't dead (yes I'm bisexual) but a jealous friend convinced her I am dead through a long and complicated process. She lives in a different state than me and we were planning on keeping in touch and moving in with each other after High School. Now I have absolutely no way of telling her I'm still alive, and to make it worse, our connected dreams have completely stopped.

    There are plenty of other reasons why I'm depressed. This is my major one.
  2. Aw, I'm really sorry. That's terrible to hear, you can't even write a letter? That's messed up that someone would do that.
    As for me, I really was just born with a huge tilt towards being depressed and I really have been since I was 3 years old. (yeah I know, super young but I remember some moments.) It's built around my mom being kinda screwed up- I was taught to be afraid of everything and crying was something I got yelled at for doing.

    AS FOR SUICIDE ((and this is for everyone, please use it!))
    It's not something to be ashamed of. You can reach out, it's nothing that you should avoid getting help due to shame. You're no less of a person and it's a symptom, it means your situation has gotten to the point where it DOES need attention. Look around your community and you'll find counselors- at your school/college and some clinics do offer support.

    If you ever feel close to the edge, please call one of these numbers. You're never a waste of resources and you deserve to live. Depression and many other mental illnesses are hard to deal with, but suicide wont solve it for sure. Even if you feel like no one would care, please do call! It's quite terrifying struggling with your mind when you have all these thoughts about everything being pointless. If you're nervous about what to expect, check this out.

    And if anyone needs someone to talk to, I'm totes here for anyone. I'm not a professional though, so...

    Sorry this is long. I just want to get these resources out to anyone in a time of need and this seems like a good place.
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  3. I was in a similiar situation last november of '10. Broke up with love of my life, etc etc. But there was one thing I learned, and that I am eternally greatful for: Time Will Go On.

    The entire thing was extremely sobering for me, it was eye opening and I changed. A lot. I am not saying it will be this way for you exactly... but sometimes, you learn that what once was, is not what will be, or what is. You might learn that being single is a wonderful thing, that you have things that you want to work on, that your life is something much better to focus on than a relationship. Things will get better, you just have to remind yourself that and pull away from the muck.

    If you need me, feel free to PM. : 3 But please, like Silas said... if you ever feel on the edge, PLEASE get help.
  4. I know how you feel kid :(
    but you need to gain an iron will. Ive lost my love multiple times but they are still in my heart(not any more actually) but the point is you will still be in her heart. If suddenly you get in contanct with her that will jump start her love for you and who know what will happen :)
    As for help.....IM going to tex you! and we are going to talk about this.
    Also turst me killing your self is no option becuase there is allways some one there waiting for you. Then youll get sling shot back into normal life. But from time to time you will think about her.
    I know how you feel :(
  5. I--what?!

    Whatever happened to e-mailing her, messaging her on Facebook, or calling her? This... doesn't make sense to me what-so-ever. I'm not downplaying your drama and situation, nor am I trying to demean your feelings of depression, but to me, this sounds like an easy solution to a convoluted problem.

    Again, not to demean your feelings and emotions, but you're not even out of High School. Sweetie, you have to realize you've only experience a tiny chunk of the entire sum of your life. Could his have been "The One"? Possibly, but you don't know that right now. How can you? You're blinded by an emotion you're feeling right now. Once more, I'm not demeaning your feelings or telling you to get over them-- on the contrary, I hope you find solace with your friends and loved ones, and the advice you're given here and by others. The best advice I have seen and can give is: time heals all.

    You'll be okay. :)
  6. Okay. At the time, I couldn't even get on facebook, nor did I have my own email. My mom simply didn't let me have those things. Another was I didn't have a cell phone until last year. My computer also got a virus soon after this incident and we had to wait a few years to be able to get the money to buy a new one. By that time, I saw she deleted her facebook...and her email was no longer active.

    Also, I've dated plenty of people, even a 21 year old who was nicer than you'd think. ALL of them cheated on except the 21 year old and my first love. I've told myself countless times that it is only the beginning, and I still know that. It's just a part of me can't get over her and has slowly been pulling me into depression. Many, many other things are factors in the reason I'm depressed...But I'm slowly getting out of it. Then, sadly, something pulls me farther down.