[fieldbox="Koshi, lightcyan, dashed, 10"]Koshi took a second to think before explaining, "All the vocal ranges are meant to harmonize. While the tenors sing mid-range, the bass sings low, and it creates layers... Ah, sorry, I suck at explaining," he chuckled.
After a while of witnessing the groups singing and wondering why he wasn't being called up, the bell rang for lunch and Koshi glanced over at May again. "Do you have to go get lunch from the cafeteria?" He asked nervously.
A room full of hungry, angry teenagers didn't appeal to Koshi at all, and honestly he wanted nothing more than to go down and eat at the courtyard around the trees - the only place the jocks didn't bother to go. Well, sometimes they did, but he was always well hidden on his stone-bench in the corner, and they never seemed to notice him, or, they just didn't feel like bothering anyone during lunch. It was where Koshi always sat and read his book, alone.[/fieldbox]
[fieldbox="May Tachibana, green, dashed, 10"] A light chuckle resounded from the brunette at his poor description, yet she had a vague idea of what he was talking about. "That reminds me of digital art." It probably wouldn't make sense to him, but when she would draw in digital art, she would create layers for different parts of her drawing and in the end, they were all compiled to create the image she wanted. She would definitely need to come to his singing class more often. Soon, their attention was drawn to the people on stage and she watched as they sung.
The bell rang, signaling the commencement of lunch. "...No. I pack my own lunch." May answered with a small smile before making her way out of the auditorium. The food here was good, but she preferred to bring her own lunch. "Do you want to go to the courtyard?" May questioned as she glanced up at Koshi.
[/fieldbox]
[fieldbox="Koshi, lightcyan, dashed, 10"]Oh thank God, Koshi's tense muscles went slack as relief washed over him, and he smiled brightly at May. "That's where I always go to eat. (Let's go)." The boy stood up and swung his backpack over his shoulders then made his way to the door, keeping pace with May.
He seemed in a much better mood than he was in after Kaito and Hisao's abuse, and asked May about digital art as they walked to the exit and left the building. Koshi seemed genuinely intrigued in the process, and expressed interest in painting using a tablet.
As they walked, Koshi glanced up at the sky - the grey clouds were still rallying overhead, but it seemed that the rain had stopped for moment to permit him and May to enjoy the outdoors. The boy stuck to the outer ring of the circle, where the benches were pressed against the building in fear of the inner circle where too many people were sat, talking loudly and making noise over the sound of a single crow, cawing as it circled over the boy's head and landed on the back of an air conditioning system to peer down at him with beady, black eyes - grim reaper come to collect the due that Koshi had promised him would be razed by his own hands. It cycled through the motions of intrigue and distance before flying away when the boy got too close, aiming to sit on the bench beneath the overhanging windowsill crowded with moss and decomposers.
He waited for May to sit beside him before his grey gaze lost its happy luster, and grew into a stone-cold serious steel. "May, can I ask you why you're hanging out with me? Don't take that the wrong way... I like it - I don't want you to stop." Koshi certainly didn't deserve her attention, and she seemed to be going against Hisao and his (very convincing) friends to talk to him.[/fieldbox]
[fieldbox="May Tachibana, green, dashed, 10"] "(Okay.)" May gave him another smile and conversed with the male about digital art as they made their way to the courtyard. He was frankly the only person, besides Hisao, that she could freely talk about her passion without having to worry that she was boring him. Normally others would listen for a small while, before growing annoyed and just change the subject. IT didn't interest them and they didn't try to find it interesting-not that she wanted to shove her passion down their throat-but it would be nice to have someone to talk to about it.
A cool breeze hit the girl and she reached down to button up her cardigan. She woke up late that morning and had rushed to get dressed, so she had only slipped on a cardigan. Oh well, she could deal with it. Noting that Koshi strayed from the inner circle and instead made his way to an excluded bench, made her raise a brow. Maybe this was another reason why she never noticed him. He always tried to stay out of people's view or at least from Hisao and Kaito, along with their jock party.
"Why I hang out with you?" May repeated and for a moment her gaze swept over to her brother, who was in the inner circle with other students, being obnoxious and what not. "Well, you're different and you seem like a cool guy." May answered before admitting,"You intrigue me. I don't exactly know why...you just do."
[/fieldbox]
[fieldbox="Koshi, lightcyan, dashed, 10"]"Ah." Koshi said, simply, and looked down at the ground. Her answer left him more puzzled than satisfied, and with a bitter taste on his tongue. He wasn't a cool guy - far from it. He was a numb guy, that only defrosted when he was hurting and alone, or when he found ways to make himself feel.
Before he could let himself get any more self-conscious, Koshi looked up and smiled at her, gaze going soft and kind. "You know... I think you're really cool too." And suddenly, the boy did the unthinkable - he reached over to place a hand over May's as she sat beside him, and said, "I'm happy that we met." And the hand lifted away from hers to aid him in searching for his lunch and to pull it out - a plain grilled-cheese sandwich - the perfect food for last-second lunches. He was just about to take a bite when suddenly, he felt hands grip his shoulder from behind and Koshi flinched and pulled away from them with panic in his eyes.
It was Kaito, something strange was in his gaze. "Hey lovebirds," he snarled with a grin, and walked around the bench to stand before Koshi. "How's your day going?" He was alone - he needed to be in order to do this.
Koshi wanted to be civil. "It's much better now." His eyes flicked to May, sitting beside him, and he smiled.
"Cool. Speaking of cool, isn't it cold out? Brrr." The grin became predatory, and Koshi only now understood what the other's eyes held - jealousy.
"Look at May, she's practically shaking! And you have a really warm jacket, don't you? What kind of guy doesn't give a girl his jacket, huh?"
Koshi was stunned by the other's attack, wide-eyed, with a weak, shaking, mortified voice, he answered, "K-Kaito... You know I c-can't..."[/fieldbox]
[fieldbox="May, green, dashed, 10"] A smile graced her lips when he mentioned that was cool to, before shocking her by placing his hand over hers. It was a brief touch, yet a touch nonetheless. She couldn't help but to feel that they were making progress. "I'm glad I met you too, Koshi." May said, before she also moved to pull out her lunch. It was cooked salmon with a couple of sesame seeds on top and some vegetables on the side. Before she could even pull the lid off of the container, Kaito stepped out from behind Koshi before moving to stand in front of him.
The girl watched with narrowed eyes, before shaking her head. Clearly the male didn't want to lend her his jacket and she frankly didn't mind. It wasn't as if it was really cold.
"(Why are you so mean to your brother?)" May questioned as she set her food aside. It was beginning to irritate her, that all they were doing to him was just messing with him and making his life difficult. "(Just leave him be.)"
[/fieldbox]
[fieldbox="Koshi, lightcyan, dashed, 10"]"Heh," Kaito shook his head like he knew something that May didn't. "(Because he's useless, a complete waste of space. I tried to help him, but he still acts like an idiot. You'll figure it out soon enough - you won't be able to put up with him)."
Koshi dropped his gaze to the ground and away from Kaito, studying a patch of dry grass in the middle of the lawn beside them. He wished he had some water - that, and careful tending, would make it green again. He stared longingly at it, wishing he could fix it, until Kaito suddenly spoke shocking words.
"(Brother, that was mean of me. I'm sorry... Give me your hand, I'm sorry)."
Koshi stared up at Kaito, then glanced over at May, wondering it this was a prank or something.
Ever-naive, he did as his brother asked, slowly lifting his hand up into the air, watching it go with hopeful eyes, wishing that maybe, finally, something would go right today... And Kaito in turn, snatched the hand and held it in a vice-like grip. "Haha, if anyone needs to change, it's you, Koshi." Then he grasped the sleeve of the jacket in his other hand and swiftly pulled it up off the male's wrist - bearing a treasure trove of scars for May's eyes to see - neat, pale cuts climbing up Koshi's skin like a ladder with an unseen end. "(See? He's fucked up. Don't waste your time with someone like him)."
Koshi tore his arm out of Kaito's grasp and quickly tugged the sleeve back down, all the way over his hand. "I can't believe you..." His mouth was hanging open, the betrayal clear in his eyes - but Kaito was already walking away to where Hisao was sitting in the inner ring.[/fieldbox]
[fieldbox="May Tachibana, green, dashed, 10"] May's jaw dropped when Kaito spoke so ill about Koshi. What had occurred between the two to produce this type of hatred? Her gaze slid over to Koshi, who just sat there. Why didn't he retaliate? This wasn't right! Koshi shouldn't let his brother speak in such a way about him. It was as if he had grown to accept such treatment and just let it happen.
Suddenly Kaito's words brought even more shock to the brunette, but she realized too late that it was all a joke and Koshi fell for it. Kaito pulled his sleeves, exposing the flesh beneath and May's eyes widen to the size of saucers. The brunette didn't even acknowledge the twin as he walked away to join the inner circle. No, her eyes and attention were locked onto Koshi. "(Koshi...)" Her lips parted and closed again, she was at loss for words. What did she say to him? "(I...why? You shouldn't...)"
Reaching forward without thinking the girl gentle gripping his hand and she looked into his grey orbs. "(Don't listen to Kaito, he doesn't know what he is saying.)"
[/fieldbox]
[fieldbox="Koshi Nagamine, lightcyan, dashed, 10"]Koshi looked like was on the verge of tears - no, no, he couldn't cry in front of May! He wrenched his hand out of her grasp and pressed his sleeved wrist against his eyes to hide his watery gaze from her. He had to be strong, he was a guy - guys don't cry... Oh God! She knew now, she saw them... Oh God, what now?
"(H-he's right. you d-don't know m-me, you can't... You c-can't assume I'm n-not...)" He hid his face against the insides of his arms like a boxer putting up a block. [/fieldbox]
[fieldbox="May Tachibana, green, dashed, 10"] It didn't come a surprise to her when Koshi abruptly yanked his hand away from her grasp. "Koshi...(You're brother is right. I don't know you, but I'm trying to get to know you.)" May said as she leaned forward to trap the male by putting her hands against the bench on both sides of him.
"(Just have trust in me, Koshi. My intentions aren't to cause you harm. I just want to be your friend and I want to help you.)" May said as she watched the male, hoping that he would allow her to do just that-to help him.
[/fieldbox]
[fieldbox="Koshi Nagamine, lightcyan, dashed, 10"]Koshi stayed hidden behind the raised arms as she cut off his only route of escape... He had to listen to her, no matter how badly he wanted to run away.
He took a few deep breaths, trying and failing to keep himself composed. "(L-let me go... I want to go home.)" Koshi pleaded, and he was serious. He was done for today - too many things have happened, and he was worn out and distraught. How would he be able to face May again? Kaito had ruined everything... Shame burned his cheeks, scalding his skin, and the tears stung his eyes, but he refused to let them go.[/fieldbox]
[fieldbox="May Tachibana, green, dashed, 10"] At this point, she knew, there was no reasoning with the male. He had broken down in a matter of seconds and she honestly wasn't sure how to handle this. "(Before you go, just know that none of this changes my view over you. If you want to talk about anything-anything at all-you have my number.)" It was then that May retracted her hands and allowed him to have the space he needed. Normally, she would have tried to coax him into staying, yet...he had faced a lot today and he frankly didn't need to go through more.
Despite her allowing him to leave, she was frankly worried about him. What if he added another cut along his arm? Fuck! This was all so sudden and she couldn't do much, especially since he didn't trust her.
[/fieldbox]
[fieldbox="Koshi Nagamine, lightcyan, dashed, 10"]May let him go with kind words of support, and Koshi wordlessly turned away to stuff his lunch back into his backpack and collect his things.
It almost looked like the male wouldn't say anything. In fact, that would be fitting for the situation, but Koshi turned around and boldly met May's gaze to speak, "This... This isn't me. Please don't let this change the way you see me." Koshi begged, but he knew that like most people, she probably wouldn't want to talk to him anymore after seeing him get made fun of so easily... And especially not after seeing his arm...
Worst of all was the fact that he had two.
[/fieldbox]
[fieldbox="May Tachibana, green, dashed, 10"] May watched the male stuff away his belongings before turning to fully face her. A reassuring smile appeared as she shook her head. "This doesn't change my view of you, Koshi." She reassured and it didn't. He was still the same Koshi she met earlier and nothing would change.
[fieldbox="Koshi Nagamine, lightcyan, dashed, 10"]Koshi's hand wavered over the bag, and he hesitated to pick it up.
Was he going to run away again, just like always? Was this the right thing to do? He couldn't believe what had happened today - it was all so much... Too much to bear. Kaito had done something unthinkable. Koshi's hand moved to encircle his wrist.
Koshi didn't want to leave May alone, but he was afraid of how awkward things might get now that she knew. She had seen the dark side of him all too quickly - and thus, it was sure to overlap everything else.
He turned to her again, wincing as he bit his split lip. "Yeah." Koshi stood up and pulled his backpack over his shoulders.
"See you tomorrow." He sounded incredibly drained, like at any moment, he would collapse.[/fieldbox]
[fieldbox="May, green, dashed, 10"] May didn't want him to go, but she also didn't want him to keep feeling horrible. Anger bubbled within her chest as she thought back to Kaito and her brother. What gave them the right to behave in such a way?
"See you tomorrow..." May watched him for a moment before opening her mouth again. "Remember, if you want to talk or hang out later then text me." May wanted him to be aware that he could rely on her and she hoped that he would because she wants to help him.
[/fieldbox]
[fieldbox="Koshi Nagamine, lightcyan, dashed, 10"]Koshi stopped and stood there, watching May with an unreadable expression. His hands clutched the straps of his backpack in a choke-hold, the same way life held his neck and shook the joy out of him until he bled. With the other it would feed him false hope of change (change, which Koshi was always searching for) with a cold, usurious hand until Koshi got himself free only to bite his tail and draw himself inwards again towards the hand.
Cycles like the moon, cycles in him driving him mad. And here was this girl. His eyes glistened with something akin to gratitude, and he answered, "Thank you, May." Koshi didn't plan on calling her - why would he waste her time? Who was he to warrant her talking to him? He was a pincushion, through which the needles were stuck so firmly through that they jutted out around him, made him a porcupine, crowned with pain. The more people handled him, the more his moods pricked them and wore them down until they fled and left him with another few pins - abandonment issues, couple with a fear of people. How can one with a fear of being alone be alone all the time? This drove the cycles further.
He walked away towards the gates of the school, then when he was sure no one could see him, he ran the rest of the way to the car and once inside, pressed his face against the steering wheel until he felt ok enough to drive.
After School:
Koshi had spent the few hours of daylight left on the couch, unable to move. Three PM.
Males are supposed to be competitive, resilient, and self-reliant, but certainly not emotionally needy.
So why, why, why was he so different? He had been used, used up and thrown away, and used up again only a few years ago, and first screaming at himself that it wasn't abuse, that guys can't be abused, until it all caught up to him and then he was blaming himself, and that was how he learned to use himself up too. [glow=darkred]"You wanted it, you liked it."[/glow] He still heard the whisper of hot breath in his ear at night. "Help..." Koshi whispered as the memories drowned him - the brutal hand of his father came down against the back of his head and forced him under the water, and it felt like that night the man had thrown alcohol into his eyes and almost blinded him. All too suddenly the numbness came back and hit him like a punch to the chest - bam, and now he was hollow and achy, strained, stretched-thin with wear.
Kaito wasn't coming home today, he was probably going to hang out with Hisao until late night. Koshi expected it - whenever they fought, or whenever Kaito did something undeniably stupid like he did today, the male avoided coming home. Koshi figured it was his way of defending himself from feeling bad about his actions, and with the other's slight attachment disorder, such behavior was understandable.
At least the other didn't cry, and didn't hurt until he grew numb. Koshi stood and went to the bathroom, where he rested his hands against the sink and slouched over in front of the mirror. He hated seeing his eyes after he cried - red-rimmed, with distant, liquid grey irises, faded like watercolor.[/fieldbox]
[fieldbox="May, green, dashed, 10"] May gave him a smile at his thank you, before watching him go. Eventually the frown faded and morphed into a frown. There was this urge to go after him and help, but how would she even do that? The male hardly accepted any form of physical comfort. The first thing she would need to establish between them is trust, because without trust there was no way Koshi would open up to her. Much less accept her attempts at providing him support and reassurance.
Breathing out a sigh, the brunette resumed her seat on the bench and pulled open the container before digging in to her lunch. Occasionally, she found her gaze straying to see Hisao and Kaito, along with their jock, were all bunched up in this one table. A couple of girls were with them. Normally, May found herself among that crowd, but recently she tended to avoid them, given that she felt like she didn't belong. Hisao was her brother and she loved him to bits, but she preferred to let him enjoy his time with his friends and not have him worrying over her for her lack of conversation with anyone in the group.
Sudden images of Koshi's arm flashed in front of her. A burning image that surely would not leave her memory anytime soon. How long had he been inflicting pain onto himself? Why didn't he trust her? Kaito had no right to do that to him-to expose him in such a way. What kind of sibling did that? Did his hatred run so deep that he would do anything and stoop so low, just to hurt his twin? If that was the case, then someone needed to knock some sense into him.
It wasn't long when the bell rang and May packed up her things, before making her way to her next class.
-After School-
Slamming the locker shut, May adjusted the strap to her backpack before making her way towards the parking lot. She was honestly nervous to face her brother, given that he didn't like Koshi and for that scene that had occurred earlier.
Once she was out in the lot, she spotted her brother with his usual group and despite her anxiety, she approached the male. Crossing her arms over her chest, she watched them with cautious eyes as they laughed and joked with one another...until they noticed her walking in their direction. Immediately they were all aware of her presence and their expressions grew serious. It was as if she had broken some type of moral code and they all hated her for it.
May halted besides her brother and her gaze swept over the group, they were all glancing between her and her brother. As if they were waiting for some type of argument to break out. "Let's go." May spoke out to him firmly and all he did was ignore her. "Anyways, tomorrow at Ben's, we'll meet up to celebrate us making it to the play offs." Hisao stated and that seemed to change everyone's sullen mood into cheery expressions. "I said, let's go." May tone was much more demanding and loud. Clearly Hisao wasn't happy with her at the moment, but what gave him the right to act in such a way with her? "Hold the fuck up, May. Can't you see I'm talking about something important." He growled out and May starred up at the male for a second, before her gaze lowered. This wasn't the first time he acted so cold towards her. He had done it on occasions where he was really angry at her. Guess this was one of those times.
Turning on her heel without a word, May began to make her way towards the exit of the parking lot. She wasn't going to deal with his shit. Instead, she would just walk home. Tears couldn't help but to burn her eyes, but she refused to cry. Not here where anyone could see her.
[/fieldbox]
[fieldbox="Koshi Nagamine, lightcyan, dashed, 10"]"Whatever..." Koshi laughed and grasped the side of the mirror, trying to keep his hands off of himself. But with that word came back indifference to his skin, and he picked the awful thing back up...
Koshi pressed the edge against his skin at the end of the line, and pulled towards himself and his aching heart - he didn't know what else to do. The throbbing sting of the act... It ate away and devoured the hollowness, and replaced it with greed for his own blood, and then guilt. Staring at it, he watched the pain drain out of his system in long crimson streaks. At that moment, Koshi suffered the urge to tear himself apart, so he pressed the razor down again and made another deeper reave into his skin, and he heard it splatter against the edge of the sink. Thick globs of crimson poured over the hand that had touched May's, that once had her hand in it, and now gathered blood.
In the aftermath, when his chest no longer felt as tight, he wrapped long strips of toilet paper around his arm and scrubbed the sink until it sparkled. He smiled into the mirror, fixed his hair, and wrapped another length of toilet paper over his arm because it wouldn't stop making more red.
Now for the other arm - make them match.
... Somehow, his hand became jumbled in his pocket, and accidentally, it pulled out his phone and dialed May's number.[/fieldbox]
[fieldbox="May, green, dashed, 10"] It wouldn't be a long walk, about twenty to thirty minutes give or take. May frankly didn't care. It was better than riding with Hisao, who would surely begin to argue with her on today's event. It just didn't make sense to her. Just because he didn't like Koshi, didn't mean that she had to dislike him too. May was in control of her own life and she could socialize with anyone she wanted to. If he had an issue then that was his personal problem. Why did he have to involve her in crap like that?
Huffing in annoyance, May crossed the street once the light turned red though at the same time her phone began to ring. "Hello." She spoke into the device after she had fished it out of her pocket.
[/fieldbox]
[fieldbox="Hisao Tachibana, blue, dashed, 10"] Hisao's dark gaze followed May as she walked away, most likely heading home. If she knew his dislike for Koshi then why would she go talk to him? Why would she try to befriend him? He couldn't help but to feel like she was doing this on purpose just to get under his skin.
"Kaito, we're still hanging out at my place right?" Hisao questioned as he looked to said male.
[/fieldbox]
