Iwaku the Musical

Hydronine

The Murrstress
Invitation Status
Posting Speed
Multiple posts per day, 1-3 posts per day
Writing Levels
Adept, Advanced, Prestige, Douche, Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
No Preferences
Genres
Scifi, Fantasy, Modern, Magical, Horror, Noir, apocalyptic, Grimdark, yaoi, yuri, anything really.
Hehehehe...
 

Delnoir

A Relic of a Bygone Era
Diana Notacat as sung by Chaos to the tune of Stacy's Mom.

Diana Notacat has it going on
Diana Notacat has it going on
Diana Notacat has it going on
Diana Notacat has it going on

Isabella can I come over after Schoo-oo-oo-l?
(After school.)
We can hang around.. And play p-p-poooool
(Play pool.)
Did Diana get back from her grocery trip?
(Grocery trip?)
Is she there or is she tryin' give me the sli-i-i-p?
(Give me the slip..)

You know I'm not the little dork, that I used to be…
I'm all mature now, derp can't you see?

Diana Notacat has it going on!
She's all I want and I've waited so long!
Isabella can't you see, you're just not the derp for me?
I know it might be wrong
But I'm in love with Diannnnnna.

Diana Notacat has it going on
Diana Notacat has it going on

Isabella, do you remember when I mowed your lawn?
(Mowed your lawn..)
Diana Notacat came out with just a low cut on
(Low cut on.)
I could tell she liked me from her big blank stare
(Big blank stare...)
And the way she said, "ZOMG! There’s a kitty over there"
(Kitty over there....)

And I know that you might think it's just a fantasy
But since you're a derp and zonked out, Diana could use a guy like me!

Diana Notacat has it going on!
She's all I want and I've waited for so long!
Isabella can't you see, you're just not the derp for me
I know it might be wrong
But I'm in love with Diannnnnna

Diana Notacat has it going on!
She's all I want and I've waited for so long!
Isabella can't you see, you're just not the derp for me
I know it might be wrong but oh oh...

I'm in love with
(Diana Notacat, oh ahh)
I'm in love with
(Diana Notacat, oh ahh)
(Isabella can't you see, you're just not the derp for me)
I know it might be wrong, but I'm in love with Diannnnnna.
wat is this i dont even...
 

Asmodeus

Gazorpazorpdeus
Original poster
Posting Speed
Speed of Light
Another duet with Diana....

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GNhdQRbXhc"]YouTube - Meat Loaf - I would do anything for love[/ame]​


*Asmo drives through the woods on his motorbike, chased by police. The intro plays as he is hunted across the land. But eventually, he takes shelter in a crypt, hiding out until the police have gone.*

And I would do anything for posts, I'd eat shite or suck off Homac
I would do anything for posts, I'll make a bio for a vampire-cat
Cos I'll never forget the way they feel right now, oh no, no way
And I would do anything for posts,
...But I won't do that.... I won't do...

Anything for posts, oh I would do anything for posts
I would do anything for posts,
...but I won't do that... oh I won't do that

*music plays as Asmo busts out of the crypt, scattering the police. Then he ditches the motorbike and runs through the woods*

And some days the posts come easy, and some days the posts come hard
Some days they don't come at all, and these are the days that never end

*Asmo spots Diana bathing by the fountain*

Some nights you're so on fire, and some nights you're cold as ice
Some nights you write nothing but homosexual porn, lesbians

*Asmo flees, leaving behind his shiney*

Maybe you're lazy, just some lazy little noobs
The bios you gave me, no one else can play these now but you

As long as the members are learning, as long as the mods keep burning
As long as the themes are running through, you better believe it

*Asmo retreats to his ruined mansion*

That I would do anything for posts, and I'll labour till the final act
AAAH AAAH!!!
I would do anything for posts, and I'll take a vow to not hijack
AAAH AAAH!!!

But I'll never forgive myself if we don't ro-o-oleplay tonight
And I would do anything for posts,
...but I won't do that... no I won't do that

*Diana finds the secret mansion*

I would do anything for posts, play catgirls, teenagers or ghosts
But I just won't do that
I would do anything for posts, join roleplays about evil toast
But I just won't do...

*Asmo hides from Diana*

These roleplays are filled with violence, and roleplays have big plot holes
Roleplays are just ways to get off on sex and guns and Rock 'N Roll

Maybe I'm lonely and that's all I'm ever gonna be
There's just one and only, the one and only forum left for me

*Diana takes a bath and gets even more inexplicably aroused*

As long as ICs are turning, and all of the newbies yearning
As long as roleplay'rs are coming through, you better believe it

That I would do anything for posts, and you know I don't need dope or crack!
I would do anything for love, and I'll make up for the things you lack!

*Diana gets caressed by Asmo fangirls*

But I'll never write posts better than I write them with you, so long, so long
And I would do anything for posts, oh I would do anything for PO-OSTS!
I would do anything for posts,
...but I won't do that,
...NO NO NO I won't do...

*Asmo smashes up his British antiques in rage and runs away*

I would do anything for posts, play catgirls, teenagers or ghosts
But I just won't do that
I would do anything for posts, join roleplays about evil toast
But I just won't do that
I would do anything for posts, play halflings, goblinoids or gnomes
But I just won't do....

But I'll never stop screaming about noobs every night of my life, no way
And I would do anything for posts,
...but I won't do that... no I won't do that

*Diana finds Asmo*

[Diana:] Will you praise me up, and explain pronouns?
Will you translate to English when Coffeecake's around?
Will you make me feel a little less old?

[Asmo:] I can do that! Oh oh now, I can do that!

[Diana:] Will you cater to every fantasy I got?
Will ya help me keep the boards in order, and have Woodrat shot?
Will you keep my racist feelings unknown?

[Asmo:] I can do that! Oh oh now, I can do that!

*Asmo and Diana hide from the police*

[Diana:] After a while you'll stop being Admin
And then you'll close your account and then give up roleplaying
And you'll say that it's time to move on

[Asmo:] I won't do that! No I won't do that!

[Diana:] I hate democracy, I'll be unbound
I'll betray all their trust when you're not around
And sooner or later, I'll bring Iwaku down...

[Asmo:] You won't do that! No you won't do that!

*Asmo starts strangling Diana*

Anything for posts, oh I would do anything for posts
I would do anything for posts,
...but I won't do that.... no I ... won't... do... that....


*Asmo rides off on his motorbike, leaving Diana's corpse for the police*
 

CoffeeCake

"Are you asking me why people eat potatoes?"
Posting Speed
1-3 posts per week, One post per week, Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
No such thing
Writing Levels
Give-No-Fucks, Beginner, Elementary, Intermediate, Adept, Advanced, Prestige, Douche, Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
Female, Agender, Primarily Prefer Female
*wipes nose*

;_;
 
K

Kitti

Guest
That was touching.
Asmo and Rory really do have a Diana fetish.
**rubs chin thoughtfully and begins plotting**

Innnnnnnnnnteresting.
 
K

Kitti

Guest
Ohhhh, I read it.
You two just write so much about Diana....
Hahaha.
Asmo is trying to pretend it's not true.
 
P

Porg

Guest
Nah this is part of Asmo's ongoing plan to make sure noone suspects that he's actually in love with me.

The feeling is not mutual >> before anyone suggests it.
 

CoffeeCake

"Are you asking me why people eat potatoes?"
Posting Speed
1-3 posts per week, One post per week, Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
No such thing
Writing Levels
Give-No-Fucks, Beginner, Elementary, Intermediate, Adept, Advanced, Prestige, Douche, Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
Female, Agender, Primarily Prefer Female
Too late. Your bickering and challenges already have me convinced you're merely covering your tracks, amateur. :P

*holds an Asmo-doll and a Porg figurine next to each other while a Kitti doll is propped nearby*

As Asmo:You're daft!
As Porg:No, you're daft!
Asmo:I hate you!
Porg:I hate you more!


*makes the Asmo and Porg dolls push the Kitti one off the desk together and start making smoochy sounds*

Porg:Your reverse-psychology Diana-abuse cover was brilliant. Only Kitti suspected anything, but she's gone now. We can finally be together.
Asmo:And Iwaku World if finally all yours. We can stop staging these conflicts of interests. I can't believe there are people who still take them seriously.
Porg:Shhh! It's okay now, angel. You're a kept man. I'll be doing all the plotting from now on.
Asmo: So what's next?
Porg: We get rid of Rory and Diana...
Asmo:But this time, for real?
Porg: YES! My gift to you.
Asmo: You're the dogs bollocks!

*more smoochy sounds*

--Iwaku crackfic a la fanfiction.net
 
P

Pirogeth

Guest
*The lights dim once again as Diana retires to back stage in the make-up room while Asmo stays for his role in the next number.*

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSnSA0AY7K8"]YouTube - welcome to the black parade lyrics[/ame]

Parade of the Faulted

When I was a young Mod
The Asmo took me into the Staff Board
To see the other mods
He said, "Boy, when you grow up
Would you be the savior of the broken
The misspelled and the incorrect??

He said, "Will you defeat them
Your errors and all the non-believers
The mistakes they have made?
Because one day, I'll check you
Everything yes all your grammar errors
So that you can be remade"

When I was a young Mod
The Asmo took me into the Staff Board
To see the other mods
He said, "Boy, when you grow up
Would you be the savior of the broken
The misspelled and the incorrect??

Sometimes I get the feeling
He's watching over me
And other times I feel like I should run
And through it all, the rise and fall
The slander I have seen.
And when you're done he wants you all to know

A Disciple, A Disciple
And though you're surprised and confused, believe me
The young boy is now a disciple, Asmo’s Disciple
And in my mind, I can't contain it
The horror won't explain it

And while that sends you reeling
From constructed failures
Your misery and hate will just please him
So re-edit and take credit
Let's no longer have fear.
Do you fight it to the end?

We hear the call to slaughter him, just slaughter him.
And though you've rose and rebel, believe me
Our dissension will carry on, we'll carry on
And though we’re broken and defeated
Our freedom rebels will march

On and on we carry through the fears
The end of all spelling mistakes nears.
Take a look at me
'Cause I need my mistakes (now)

Do or die, you'll never make me
Because my words will never leave my heart
Though you try, you'll never break me
They want it all, we wanna make this fault.

Won't explain or say I'm sorry
I'm unashamed, I'm gunna show my fail
Give a cheer for all the misspelled
Listen here, because it's only

I'm just a mod, I'm not a disciple
Just a guy who wanna play his role
Just a mod, I'm not a disciple
I don't care!

We'll carry on, we'll carry on
And though we’re back to glitching, believe me
Your attempts will carry on, you'll carry on
And though we’re making the slipups.
You're land of no mistakes marches on

Do or die, you'll never make me
Because I choose my errors in my heart
Though you try, you'll never break me
We want it all, we wanna make this fault
(We'll carry on)

Do or die, you'll never make me
Because I choose my errors in my heart
Though you try, you'll never break me
We want it all, we wanna make this fault
(We'll carry on)
 

Blind Hemingway

A former executive or something.
Invitation Status
,
Posting Speed
Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
NEVER
Writing Levels
Adept, Douche
Preferred Character Gender
Primarily Prefer Female
Genres
Surrealism, Surreal Horror (Think Tim Burton), Steampunk, Sci-Fi Fantasy, Spaghetti Westerns, Mercenaries, Dieselpunk, Cyberpunk, Historical fantasies
Miss Kitti, it is clearly Asmo, who has the Diana fetish. He writes more about her than I do.
 
P

Pirogeth

Guest
*Diana comes back out on stage as Asmo goes back stage. A suprise to all Pirogeth steps out on stage.*

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGzsD0o68ZU"]YouTube - AMV Hell 3 creditless credits widescreen[/ame]

Grand Ideas Take You Home

Almost heaven New Iwaku
Black Ink Fountains, Productive OOC’s
Life is new there newer than the posts.
Younger than the forums growin’ like the most.

Are you ready to party

Sound ideas take me home
To the place I belong
New Iwaku, Admin Diana
Take me home sound ideas

All my memories gather round her
Mine is shady, but easy to remember
Darkness and Torsty painted on the sky
Misty pic of moonlight teardrops in my eyes

Ace ideas take me home
To the place I belong
New Iwaku, Admin Diana
Take me home ace ideas

Ace ideas take me home
To the place I belong
New Iwaku, Admin Diana
Take me home ace ideas

I hear a hum in the morning how she calls me
The computer reminds me of my home far away
Searchin’ through the sites I get the feelin'
That I should been there yesterday yesterday

(Here we go Here we go)
Great ideas take me home
(Take me home)
To the place I belong
(Let me hear you sing)
New Iwaku, Admin Diana
Take me home great ideas
(Here we go here we go)

Grand ideas take me home
To the place I belong
New Iwaku, Admin Diana
Take me home grand ideas
(Here we go Here we go)

*Piro & Diana:

La la la hey hey
La la la hey hey
La la la hey hey
La la la
New Iwaku, Admin Diana
Take me home sound ideas.

*Piro & Diana:

La la la hey hey
La la la hey hey
La la la hey hey
La la la
New Iwaku, Admin Diana
Take me home ace ideas

*Noob Choir:

La la la hey hey
La la la hey hey
La la la hey hey
La la la
New Iwaku, Admin Diana
Take me home sound ideas.

*Noob Choir:

La la la hey hey
La la la hey hey
La la la hey hey
La la la
New Iwaku, Admin Diana
Take me home ace ideas.

*Noob Choir, Piro, & Diana:

La la la hey hey
La la la hey hey
La la la hey hey
La la la
New Iwaku, Admin Diana
Take me home grand ideas.

Take me home grand ideas.
Take me home grand ideas.
 
K

Kitti

Guest
At least Master isn't obsessed with her.
At that point, I'd have to go work under Chaos... O.o
 
P

Palonis

Guest
I remember back when I used to be involved in these song numbers. Now I'm lucky if I even get a brief mention. *sniff*

Sorry, allergies.
 
P

Pirogeth

Guest
Dangerous Diana obssession? I think not..........

Alright maybe my songs have been including her a lot, however, this is mere coincidence and if anyone is to blame it is the original song. I'm trying to work out ways to keep the same syllable amount and this ends up landing on the 3s Diana. (does not matter if you are joking or not...I'm serious about this.)

I'll see if I can include dear old Palonis in a new number of mine. Perhaps the Anthem of Inactives I had planned. Or it could be called the Anthem of the "not-so-much-around-anymore'ers" (Take your pick I'd just call it inactive.)

So if you are sick of seeing Diana's face in these songs then I will just have to do something about it won't I? Onto finding a song.
 

MiraMirror

She's baaaaaack~
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Its been one week since you spammed with me
Cocked your head to the side and said I gotta eat
Five days since you laughed at me
Saw it five hours later in the day; revenge on thee!
Three days since the chatbox, dude.
I realized its all your fault; wanted to tell you
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
But I still want my stupid apology

Hold it now and watch this movie
As it makes you stop, think
Whatever happened to Aquaman
Summon a fist to the dish, thought I'd mention Palonis
I like the posting cause it's never touched another's hand
Hot like Porg-it when I'm online
Don't like Leann Rimes
Because I have no tissues.
For this parody, Miru will get hit
You're gonna have fits
You try to hold me but I slip through

Gonna make a break-I need a break
I'd like to break my muse's neck
I need ideas, or I'm gonna be in danger
My brain must show, cause then you'll know
All my ideas have ceased to grow
Cause its so dead in there, you'll have to sign a waiver

How can I help it if I think you're scary when you're sad
Trying to run as I'm constantly defiled (VAY)
I'm the kind of guy who doesn't like funerals
Cant understand what I mean?
Well, you never will
I have a tendency to wear my shirt on my head
I really don't feel like going to bed


Its been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air and said you're sexy
Five days since you tackled me
Ive still got the rug burns on both my knees T_T
Its been three days since it was Piro's moon
You realized its not my fault- Damn right, you weird buffoon
Yesterday youd forgiven me
And now I sit back and wait till you say youre sorry

Chickity china the chinese chicken
You have a drumstick and your brain starts clickin
Watchin x-files with the lights on, you're such a weird one
You hope the erotic man's in this one
Like a crackhead dude, I'm getting frantic
Like sting I'm tantric
Like Orochi, (mostly) lies to satisfy
Like Madame Kura, she makes dirty films,
Stars Diana in the films
But if you ask, she'll claim that they're all lies

Gonna get a set of better clubs
Gotta recruit all these tiny nubs just so my
britches arent always flying off the back-swing
Gotta get in tune with sailor moon
Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes
That make Vay think the wrong thing

How can I help it if I think you're scary when you're sad
Trying to run as I'm constantly defiled (VAY)
I'm the kind of guy who doesn't like funerals
Cant understand what I mean?
That's some overkill
I have a tendency to wear my shirt on my head
I still don't feel like going to bed


Its been one week since you looked at me
Dropped your arms to your sides and said Hey baby
Five days since I stared at you
And said you just did just what I thought you were gonna do
Three days since the living room
I recieved the power to restrain, but what did you do?
Yesterday you just smiled at me
Cause it' just two more days till I go to therapy
It's just gonna be two days till I go to therapy
Just two overly long days till I'm in therapy
Asmo's castle, it's just a den for the deranged men
 
P

Pirogeth

Guest
Well time for the muscial to get into a sort of holiday spirit. Time for a Halloween skit from our beloved staff crew.

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fj2rTWKkMBo"]YouTube - This is Halloween AMV[/ame]

[align=center]This is Iwaku!

[PIROGETH]
Twas a long time ago,
Longer now than it seems.
In a place that perhaps you’ve seen in your dreams.
For the story that you are about to be told,
Took place in the forum days of old.
Now, you probably wondered where staff members come from.
If you haven’t I’d say it is time you begun.

[KITTI]
Great members of every age
Would you like to see something strange?

[COFFEECAKESADIST]
Give us a second or two.
You will see the Iwaku

[EVERYONE]
This is Iwaku, this is Iwaku
Members scream in the dead of night

[DIANA]
This is Iwaku, someone make role plays that are new
Make new posts till the members gonna die of fright

[FEMALE MEMBERS]
It's our site, everybody boo
In this site of Iwaku

[CHAOS]
I am the one hiding in the cbox
Just lurks here and throwing the rocks

[PSYCHOSIS]
I am the one hiding from all of you.
Non-existent and singing doo do doo.

[EVERYONE]
This is Iwaku, this is Iwaku
Iwaku! Iwaku! Iwaku! Iwaku!

[SAKURA]
In this site we call home
Everyone hail to the admin song

[RORY]
In this site, don't we love it now?
Everybody's waiting for the modding lies.

[EVERYONE]
Round that forum, man hiding in the trash can
Sakura’s waiting now to bounce, and how you'll...

[DIANA, RORY, & ASMODEUS]
Rue! This is Iwaku
Red 'n' black, funny blue

[FLUFFY]
Aren't you scared?

[FEMALE MEMBERS]
Well, that's just fine
Play it once, Play it twice
This new role play will suffice
Piro is Writing in the Moonlight

[OROCHI]
Everybody boo, everybody boo

[MALE MEMBERS]
In our site of Iwaku!

[PAOROU]
I am the clown who posts all the nonsense
I thank you kindly all ladies and gents.

[TORSTY]
I am “The Who" naw just lying guys.
Sorry I lie, I apologize.

[ASMODEUS]
I correct spelling and grammar too.
You all sicken me I’m in a zoo.

[EVERYONE]
This is Iwaku, this is Iwaku
Iwaku! Iwaku! Iwaku! Iwaku!

[PORG]
Eating dumplings Huh? Who? Me?
Why not leave me alone? *Sips Tea*

[DIANA & RORY]
It’s your job! And tell your crew!
In our site of Iwaku

[EVERYONE]
In this site

[RORY]
Don't we love it now?
Everyone’s waiting for the modding lies.

[EVERYONE]
Our Jack Shade might catch you in the back
And scream like a girlie
Make you laugh out loud so hard.
This is Iwaku, everybody boo
Won’t ya please make way for a very “special” guy

Our man Jack is King of the Lower Mods
Everyone hail to the Low Mod King

[EVERYONE]
This is Iwaku, this is Iwaku
Iwaku! Iwaku! Iwaku! Iwaku!

[SAKURA]
In this site we call home
Everyone hail to the admin song.

[EVERYONE]
La la-la la, Iwaku! Iwaku! [Repeat][/align]
 
W

Warmaster Death

Guest
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Story Writin' man

[Asmodeus]
Well, well, well,
what have we here?
a Newcomer, huh?
Oh, I'm really scared
So you're the one
everybody's talkin' about,
ha, ha, ha, ha
You're jokin', you're jokin'
I can't believe my eyes
You're jokin' me, you gotta be
This can't be the right one
one sentence posts, ridiculous characters
I don't know which is worse
I might just split a seam now
lf I don't die laughing first
When Mr. Asmodeus says
There's trouble close at hand
You'd better pay attention now
'Cause I'm the Story Writin' Man
And if you aren't shakin'
Then there's something very wrong
'Cause this may be the
last time now you hear
the Story Writin' song, ohhh
[Diana Notacat]
Ohhh
[Asmodeus]
Ohhh
[Palonis]
Ohhh
[Asmodeus]
Ohhh
[Asmodeus and Sakura, Kiwi and Kitti]
Ohhh, i'm (He's) the Story Writin' Man
[Asmodeus]
Well if I'm feelin' antsy
And there's nothin' much to do
I might just write a special batch
Of short stories based on fools
And don't ya know the one thing
That would make it work so nice?
A roly-poly New
member to add a little
spice
[three Skeletons clad ISAF rags]
Ohhh
[Asmodeus]
Oh,yeah
[Trance Kitsune]
Ohhh
[Asmodeus]
Ohhh
[Coffeecake Sadist]
Ohhh
[Asmodeus, Jack Shade, Porg, Ryker and Razilin]
Oh, yeah, I'm (he's) the
Story Writin' Man
[the New Member]
Release me now
Or you must face the
dire consequences
The children are expecting me
So please, come to your senses
[Asmodeus]
You're jokin', you're jokin'
I can't believe my ears
Would someone shut this newb up
I'm drownin' in my tears
It's funny, I'm laughing
You really are too much
And now, with your permission
I'm going to do my stuff

[Pirogeth]
What are you going to do?

[Asmodeus]
I'm gonna do the best I can

(Musical interlude)

Oh, the sound of tapping keys
To me is music in the air
'Cause I'm a Professional Story Writin' Man
And I know that life's not fair.

It's much more fun,
I must confess
When lives are on the line
Not mine, of course,
but yours, new one
Now that'd be just fine
[New Member]
Release me fast or
you will have to
Answer for this heinous act
[Asmodeus]
Oh, Newcomer, you're something
You put me in a spin
You aren't comprehending
The position that you're in
It's hopeless, you're finished
You haven't got a prayer
'Cause I'm Mr. Asmodeus
And you ain't going nowhere.