Iwaku Newsletter: October 2011

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This Newsletter is brought to you By:
Diana: Editor
Fluffy: Writing & General Reports
October Knight: Groups Highlight
King Weavil: Insanity Report

[bg=#000000][dash=#404040]OCTOBER: MONTH OF HORROR
Greetings Iwaku! We had a really exciting and really active month during September as we had a surprise boom in new members! This is totally awesome for the simple of fact of getting so many new faces to roleplay with. But in the face of all of these fresh bodies, sometimes things get a little cranky as you learn personalities. Remember to always be polite and if you have a problem, report it to staff. They get the job done. Meanwhile, lets check out what's going on!

Halloween Name Change Tradition!
It's an October tradition here in Iwaku to change your name, avatar or siggy to reflect a "costume" for Halloween! If you do choose to change your name, please make sure you add your real username in the "Alias" field in your Edit Profile settings. Have fun!

New Roleplay Resume located in your profiles!
Now, the Roleplayer's Resume is located DIRECTLY in your profile. You can fill it out by going to your Settings -> Edit Roleplay Resume. It appears in your profile under a handy tab!

Forum Structure Updates
We are currently experimenting with different styles of organization structures for the roleplay sections of Iwaku. Keep your eyes on the Feedback forum for new polls and discussion threads as we ask the community how these changes have worked for them.

Staffing Changes - And your applications!
Our staff is always rotating, making sure that everyone on staff are people that have the extra time to dedicate to Iwaku. With our recent growth spurts, we've added Vay as a new admin! We're saying goodbye to Torsty so he can focus on school. And welcoming back Asmodeus to the staff! Though we have a limited number of people we can have on staff at once, we're ALWAYS taking applications to consider when we need to rotate. So if you are interested, send in an app.

[bg=#000000][dash=#404040]FOCUS ON ROLEPLAY
Our Most Valuable Player this month is angel kitten; who has been a power house in getting to know lots of players all across Iwaku! Roleplay of the Month is The Airvenger GMed by Jovian!

This month's Roleplay Workshop is What to do when your Roleplay Dies.


Find many other kinds of roleplays in the OOC Forum.[/dash][/bg]

[bg=#000000][dash=#404040]MUCH ADO ABOUT CHATTING
Our Member of the Month is Staci; for being such a great personality and fun person! How about stopping by General to see what other Iwaku citizens are talking about?

Great Topics This Month:

[bg=#000000][dash=#404040]ENHANCING YOUR MUSE
Are you wanting to give your muse a little exercise? Check out some of the current and past challenges in the Corner.

Challenge Yourself:


[bg=#000000][dash=#404040]BLOG SPOTLIGHT
There is always something interested posted up in the blogs, be it teasers for upcoming roleplays, people's game reviews, or challenges. If you need a way to flex your creative muscles, try doing some of the Plot Challenges we post up in the Iwaku Community Blog.

Blog Focus:
While browsing the blogs, here are a few other entries from the past month that might catch your eye.


[bg=#000000][dash=#404040]GROUP GATHERING
Iwaku's Groups area is a fabulous place to join a clan, guild, club, or quiet area for discussion. See what's going on lately in the groups!

New Groups:
  • The Comic Book Dimension - Dc, Marvel, whatever. If it has to do with Comics, It is here. A place to talk about your favorite comic book heros and villains with others who share your interest. Join Today!
  • Blazing Blades INC. - A place for all you gun nuts and sword junkies. Got a collection that makes people scared to come over to your house? Maybe you sleep with loaded weapons at night, and have a strict policy of shooting first and asking questions later? If this rings true, then this is the place for you.
  • The Animal Lovers - Do you love animals? Of course you do! Who doesn't? And now you have a place to talk with other members of Iwaku who share your love!
  • Guys Club - The girls have their club, we have ours. Join today to talk about all that stuff that guys talk about. Awesome.
  • Awesome hair, Plain and simple - Group maintained by that green haired Iwakian Lydia, this is the place to go if you have awesome hair. Who cares if people are lined up outside the bathroom while you spend hours looking in the mirror while combing that flowing awesomeness. Make them wait! Your hair is worth it! If you've got the goods on top of your dome, this is the place to be.

What's HOT:
  • Steampunk - When is Steampunk NOT hot? I guess that is the real question. Everyone loves it and now there is a place for you fantasy victorian era types to conglomerate. If you are even the slightest bit interested I would recommend joining. There is a steam powered world waiting for you!
  • Iwaku Stereo - Ever stumble upon a song and think 'This would be perfect to use for a post in a RP'? Now you have a place to organize and store it, right here on Iwaku. Many members are discovering that this is the go to group for cataloging music.
  • Demons Anonymous - Wanna RP as a Demon? Damn Straight! If you have a darker side that needs an outlet, do it here on Iwaku's own Demon orientated group. From RP to discussion this is the place to go for everything dark and demonic.
  • Metal Legion Radio - Got an interest for all things Metal? Join today. Discuss bands. Bang your head, metal health will drive you mad \m/
  • Lord of the Rings Lovers - Questionably the godfather of the fantasy genre as we know it today. Tolkien created a world that has captivated generation after generation with an engulfing story and complex characters. If you loved the Lord of the rings, this is the group to join. Wanna discuss the movies? They are here too.
  • Star Wars - What more can I say? Join today and discuss this timeless space epic.

[dscroll]Sorry for the hiatus there, was a bit of a busy summer to say the least and having a PC that can do games now changes a lot. There's also the fact of how dead Insanity was in some of the summer months. Now we're onto October and the Asylum is back to being covered! Also, it's October! So that means it's trick or treat time, so get your costumes ready as go door to door on the twisted neighborhood that is the Asylum!

First up...We have.....Asmo's critically acclaimed BOOB SLAPPING...the way forward.

I think we've all learned something today.
I clicked that link for a video of boob slapping. The video was removed.
Biggest waste of time ever.

Ok, this one was a flop actually but it has potential and maybe if you're into weird stuff the video that is up will "entertain you" and by entertain you know what I mean or you should know what I mean if you don't know what I mean then well too bad....NEXT!

Why not have a musical number? And here we have it, coming to you from Rory! Diana's backin' up

Oh..it's not an original number that Rory recorded and wrote for Iwaku? BOGUS! But let's get the opinions of everyone else on the site!

He was looking too kill noobs.
Trollin' and rollin'

Well..There you have it. Not impressed. After all, the lyrics of Darkness saving Diana, wut? Such a plot hole and out of character! But such is to be expected out of the Asylum, as if you took everything said in there as cannon and fact, Iwaku would make no sense! But godamn, I'd love to see someone keep track of all the lies, plot twists, trolling, videos posted and all that. But it'd make your head explode and be a waste of time since you can't take it seriously.

But wait! There's more!

Yeah, yeah. Just like you.
You're one to talk.
Yes, mom.
Paorou is Rory's mom! Sorry, the spoiler tags I forgot, seriously. What you guys didn't know this? Of course Paorou is his mom, why do think he bosses Rory around sometimes? It's not just since he's the King of The Asylum, he's got his motherly duties to attend to, duh! It's gotta be a struggle to raise a Rory and manage to reign over the Asylum as a single mom since Orochi left him.

Can a troll be a good parent? Nah, I give it a few days until Rory is taken away from him. No wonder Rory is the way he is though...Although you'd think he'd dress up like someone more anime inspired instead of old dead people.

We learn more and more about you, Diana.
To our eternal regret,
Vay died before he could complete his sentence.
Loosing your breath is a fatal disease.
At least try to post funny shit, Jinx. >:(
Initially I thought this was going to be about Diana BACKIN' DAT ASS UP.
Or something like that. Dance style stuff.
But this works too.

So Vay dies somehow, Jinx tries a gimmick post that does not amuse the rest of us! One word in caps, that's it? THAT"S it? Orion of course has his mind on something erotic but Darkness isn't having any of that in this topic! From then on..it kinda drops off the map but there's also more topics!

Diana's secrets revealed in this explosive topic by Rory! This is Why Diana isn't allowed on TV

In the first post, Rory has video footage showing Diana's habits!!!

Well... I do like to climb on things and get high...
Even Asmo is on it! Perhaps Iwaku Intervention will need to be a new segment in the newsletter to help them get the cat off their back? Nah, too preachy. It's legal in Asylum after all.
Hmm... getting high on cats....
This is slanderous! Getting high on cats? Getting high with cats is a good time and we've all done it in our lives when going through that phase but on them? Oh my god! This forum is encouraging such activity! This will rock the site for years to come! All of those plot ideas from getting high on cats? It's like steroids but for your muse, it ain't right! How will the young role players look up to Diana now and what of all her endorsements? It could be..the end of an era!

And you thought it couldn't get even more juicy or spooky, from cat addicts to...an Iwaku MURDER! Who shot Barbie? Jinx shot Barbie! Detective Zypher presents the photographic evidence, be warned, it is GRAPHIC!

Well so much for the mystery...Cuff em, boys! You're going away for a longggg time, just don't drop the soap, Jinx mah boi! That is rule number one of the prison survival guide.

Those fucking kids cookies cost like ten bucks a pack, I'd kill her for stealing them too.
Or did Darkness set up Jinx to fall? Hmm, he has the motive! Man..I could go for some of those myself right about now...
She faked the pregnancy test.

The plot thickens but it the twist is reversed....So we're back at where we started from on this case.

I don't speak weeabo! I need a translator over here but I'm guessing it's an allusion to what will happen to Jinx, as asspained is a term we all should know.

Zypher then unearths more of Diana's trickery! It's not Halloween but she is bringing the horror, creating WOMEN in her spare time! Forget the murder, this is the real bombshell!

Zypher's post contains too many hot womans; questions his sexuality.
That Katya chick looks like Kitti, wtf.
I thought Kitti was some special snowflake creation of the one true god or some shit.

Indeed, another mystery.. Is Zypher truly gay? If these women make us fap then why does he have the images of them as well?....What is going on here???

Thats only what she wants you to think, really she has an entire army of look alikes ready to take over the world.
For more details read Tomie.
Creepy indeed. As if being a CAT FIEND was not enough! The world is next! We gotta build the Asylum Cradle to survive the new world Kitti will usher in? Wait, I thought Diana was the one who was making playing god and making WOMEN of the sexy variety! Now we've got two people trying to conquer the world? We are doomed....

More gibberish or references to things we may never understand or get even if we tried looking it up, never change Paorou, don't change! You can't save us from this but...At least we'll die laughing or die totally confused from what you just said.

As if you thought you would never find a bigger hive of scum and villainy, welcome to This is NOT a trap for Kura.
Another scheme hatched by the Master of Iwaku herself, the Cat Fiend, she who creates and designs WOMEN for no apparent reason, DIANAAAAAAAA!


The topic is filled with this talk of Kaboodles as the trap is sprung upon the innocent Kura by the devious Diana! But then...Jinx is bringing up Asmo's Kurakachoos? Asmo's Body 2: Electric Boogaloo anyone? Anyone? Ah who am I kidding, these people must have drank something crazy brew to be talking like this!

However, no one seems to understand the purpose of this trap..

Is that blue kool-aid?
I love blue kool-aid.
does this blue kool-aid have.. alcohol in it prease?
*Throws a bottle of Sake at Kura*

It's kool-aid! Of course with something alcoholic in there! And a bunch of other random stuff is said that even I don't get anymore...It was like the 60s, you should have been there to see it all go down! It's real hazy.

The Backstreet Boys didn't age well.
A debate rages on...and Kura probably got away. Where did the Backstreet Boys discussion come from? And who will win in the battle between the Nerds and the Hipsters? Probably the Nerds, they know computers and technology, man, duh! Bottle rockets, computer viruses, volcanoes, man hipsters got nothing, they're just the butt of jokes!

*Shoots everyone*
Obviously Rory still watches Cartoon Network.

And to wrap it all up, everyone gets gunned down in the middle of the fight in a violent fashion! Oh the horror, it was a trap! But I don't think Diana intended to get caught up in the cross fire..

Rory watches a children's cartoon and posts images of it and Mother Paorou tries to stop Rory's lolicon ways, it doesn't work, Paorou just can't handle Rory without Orochi to help keep him in check. Where Kura is during all of this..is unclear. She probably got away, so much for the trap but ah well, the rest of Diana's plans succeeded, one failure is nothing.

From a failed scheme and kool aid shenanigans, we move onto.. THE FIELD OF JUSTICE! War has arrived! Declaration of War on Vandoosa!

*blinkblink* *Does Isabella things*
What the hell is with the girl with the panty shot?
Don't look at my panties~ I'm trying to direct troops! D: FOR THE VODKA!
Why are you wasting good pictures in an insanity thread!

Of course, Rory showcases more imagery of lolis at war, because such is the nature of Vandoosa for all of those unfamiliar with it. Read Rory's post for the plot, I'm not doing a cliff notes version! And the battles commences! With..Spy activity? Or more like a Creeper!

But Isabellas are part Polish.. they can't take vodka that is not all ready theirs..
All so why is Rory stalking me on 4chan? Are you all so that Byakuren who gets mad at me for throwing rocks?
Translastion: Vodka here! Sssh, I hear a Hunter. Punkass Rory over here!

Wait... Vandoosa is big enough to show up on the INTERNET now?! Finally. more will know of us.. and our new piece of land United Soshialist Schzestania Republik. Spelled the way Vandoosans like it because that is how words should be spelled!

All so how is bad touhou art and a random pic of an old friend Stephy propaganda!?
This inflates The ego of Isabella! But...The others have plans..And we all know, war, war never changes...

You guys can borrow my atomic bomb, but only if you promise to give it back after you're done with it.
Or at least give me the crater it leaves after the fallout is gone. D:
You know, Isaboo, just because you are part Polish doesn't make it yours. I'm half Irish, whiskey ain't mine. AND ITS NOT SCOTTISH EITHER. FUCK OFF GRUMPY. :I (we still cool right?)
I don't want to set the world on fire! I just want to start, a flame in your heart! Oh and Fel tries not to ruin his bromance with Grumpy, because that's all he may have once the world gets nuked and if there's no women left. Was using a nuke on Vandoosa such a great idea? Shit, a world without women isn't worth living man!

I shall bring forth my most powerful lizard men!
I am mobilizing my troops at this moment.
It will be glorious to destroy Isabella's silly little nation.

Brother Vay, Efforts have been undertaken to Arm several units of your men with these prototypes.
We will burn every inch of their pathetic country to ashes.
He better not get blood on my new paint job D:<
lol u mounting a gay army or sumthin lulz
The war rages as Isabella is doomed it seems...For lizard men are difficult to defeat and a gay army may be able to match the excessive amounts of Lolis of the Vandoosa forces!

Wow this thread got gay after Isabellas left.. and Isabellas are the king and queen of faggotness..
Isabella owns the competition verbally with this dagger! But...It is not the last shot fired!

Fix'd. You ain't got the moxie, little communist lady, you ain't got the moxie.
Fel fires back at Isabella! Oh how intense it has gotten! From the end of the world to verbal daggers, this is true war! One side wins but then the other side comes back, who will come out on top?(That doesn't sound right)

Screw him hes nothing but skitsotech and talk.
You're just jelly that I am clad in SOLID GOLD.
What I'm wearing is worth more than your MOTHER.
Seems heavy. Someone push him, lets see if he'll tip.
We can tip your throne, fel get the explosives.
Jelly tastes better than gold.
This is true....But if we melt him down, we can exchange his body parts for something good...Like booze.

The thread really becomes insane as Paorou posts an image of EGYPTIAN GUNDAM RAOH PAOROU! You can only view it in the thread so check it out! It certainly is something that could make them all jealous! But yeah, gold might be overrated. I wouldn't want to be made of it. Being a plastic man is safer FYI Paorou. No one wants to melt me down for booze! Although fire is my elemental weakness.

As for the war..IT RAGES ON! If the sides were clearly stated, then maybe I could tell you WTF was going on but as of now, I've no idea who is winning and I don't care! But someone is gonna get melted, someone is gonna get drunk, the world is gonna get set on fire. Thus the war continues, will it EVER CEASE?

That's all, folks! We'll (probably) join you next month as we see what new madness the Asylum regulars will come with! So for now, get some candy and have a good Halloween! But for the Asylum, there's trolls going door to door every-time of year, keep that in mind! Expect mostly tricks and maybe a few treats in that Asylum!

DISCLAIMER: The views expressed in the Asylum are totally random and spontaneous. Taking them too seriously may result in several individuals ending up incredibly butthurt. Do not visit The Asylum if you are: Easily butthurt, bruise easily, laugh too much, are a woman, or throw up too much. Also, beware random flying Sakura's and Darkness. He will rape you but that's just his way of saying hi. Iwaku Newsletter staff does not endorse Vandoosa, gold, Paorou's parenting skills, getting high on cats, setting the world on fire via nuclear warfare but creating women is appreciated and approved by all, thanks Diana![/dscroll][/dash]

[bg=#000000][dash=#404040]CURTAIN CALL
This month it's all about getting out there and introducing your to our newest batch of members. Make some new friends and find new partners. Try something you've never done before! Take a risk! We'd like to thank all of the members and staff for doing their best in making Iwaku one of the most enjoyable RP sites out there. Lets rock October with that same enthusiasm! May the muse be with you.
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