Is it wrong to worry?

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Nickboom, Apr 15, 2015.

  1. I just kinda wanted to post something asking for a bit of...advice, is it normal to worry about your rp partners? I mean I really freak out sometimes when they dont log on for a while, and I tend to get a bit personal with people too. I've learned a lot about some people, and their problems, then they...disappear for long periods, or perhaps even forever. I freak out so much, I um...dont really know what is it I want to know, just sorta if I'm normal I guess. I want to know if its bad that I worry about other people like this, even if I cant help it. I always want to solve people's problems, a silly idea I know but I cant help it, its the way I am... Sometimes I worry I'm overbearing and suffocating my partners, I know not everyone likes how I act sometimes. Worse yet sometimes I worry that people hate me or my rps, I cant even control it, sometimes I just start freaking out and getting upset. So...yea thats it, dont really know why I posted this, maybe I'm just a bit sad I havent heard back from some partners I like.
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  2. Nah. Sounds pretty normal. Humans get attached to each other even if it's via unmoving text on a screen that gets added every so often.

    The whole overbearing or suffocating thing is up to opinion. If you're constantly badgering them about if they're going to post or when they'll be online next I can safely yes, that's a little bit much. But if they've been online recently and haven't replied to something for a few days then asking if things are okay would be acceptable.

    Wanting to help people is a normal feeling as well, especially if you've dealt with the same problem before in your life. Best you can do is offer advice that helped you, let them know you'll be patient for them, and wish them luck in overcoming it. Beating things is a fact of life.

    If people really didn't like your RP they'd probably just leave and move on. One or two may stick around because they don't know how to turn it down, but that's exceedingly rare I'm sure. Worst thing you can do is worry yourself to the point it affects your writing.

    All in all you sound like a worry-wart. Relax, take it easy, close Iwaku for a day and do something else. That's what helps me when I get how you are. Usually coming back to a few replies and lots of alerts makes me feel better.
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  3. I agree with Windsong.

    Feeling worry about those you've grown close to is a completely normal and human behavior.
    Though if it's truly stressing you out and/or you're getting clingy to them as a result?
    Take some time off, relax, collect your self, do something else you enjoy.
    That way you can come back calm and ready to go.
    #3 Gwazi Magnum, Apr 15, 2015
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2015
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  4. I, too, tend to worry a bit about my fellow RPers when they go offline for unusual amounts of time without leaving any sort of message about being gone for a while. I feel like that's only natural, especially when you really have no idea why they're offline and therefore often can't help but speculate. Unfortunately, it seems like we flawed humans have a tendency to jump to worst case scenarios pretty often without stopping to consider more mundane reasons for a person to be offline. For example, maybe they just lost internet access for a while and didn't have the chance to say anything, or some big IRL thing came up that they forgot to mention. It's often a pretty comforting thought to remember that it's much more likely something like this happened, instead of assuming that something horrible must've happened to them.
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  5. Is it wrong to worry? No! We form relationships with our partners! They become our friends. It's perfectly normal to think about them and worry about them if something unexpected happens. :)

    SHOULD you worry? Probably not. Almost always it's something harmless. Unless you have become close personal friends, there is no obligation to keep you (or the site) up to date on their habits. More often than not it's usually just people getting busy somewhere else and don't have time to log in. D:
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  6. It's not. The more you know a person, even if it's just from across the screen and not face to face, the more you see them as a person. Even if you don't know their face or their voice, you start to understand that there's a living, breathing person on the other side of the world talking to you. You form friendships and bonds, you learn to care.

    My problem, even in RL, has been getting too emotionally attached. I'm trying to stop being emotionally dependent on others, it's hurt me more often than not. But it's not wrong to get attached - just not too much. Real life over roleplay life, as they say. Worry more about the people in real life, unless you've become really close and personal with someone online.

    But don't jump to the worst conclusions. More likely than not, as people said above, it's because your partners may have gotten busier than usual and unable to log in. Or something mundane like losing internet access as Kaga-kun said. Or a family get-together. We can't always update our online friends when things in life come up and happen.